"Sorry Sir, I Just Can't Remember."

In advance of tonight's first Presidential Candidates Debate, I'm predicting that we'll be blessed with all manner of memorized factoids from Democratic Candidate Hil(liar)y Clinton.  In spite of the hot, glaring lights and the stare of the unblinking TV cameras, I am predicting that she will spout, from memory, all sorts of myriad facts about all manner of arcane subjects important to her vision of how to further micromanage America into a quivering shadow of its former greatness.  

One would therefore have to assume that Mrs. Clinton has a pretty good memory.  You would have to think so, but you would be wrong.  

A contradiction?  Sure.  Explanation?  My pleasure.  Read on...

The chances that you'll ever hear a knock on the door and it will be the FBI are pretty remote.  But if it ever happens, I have all the information you'll ever need to escape whatever fate might otherwise befall you.

Ready?

The answer to any question the agents might ask you is as follows:  

"I'm sorry sir, I just can't remember."

We know this to be true because that's the answer one Ms. Hillary Clinton gave her FBI interviewers on the Friday before Labor Day weekend.  They asked lots and lots of questions, and 35 times she answered, "I just can't recall."  And that's why FBI Director James Comey had no choice, he said, but to not recommend a referral for an indictment for all kinds of nasty felonies to his boss, Attorney General Loretta Lynch.  

We all heard his 15 minute excoriation of Hil(liar)y during the press conference four days later.  14 minutes of it were all about what a lying, scheming, careless, unprincipled, dishonest crook she is.  The last minute was about the fact that, even so, he just couldn't bring himself to charge her.  

We, The People, were not satisfied.  Neither was Judicial Watch, a watchdog organization that holds politicians' feet to the fire. They sued the FBI for the written notes from that Saturday interview.  Those notes, although heavily redacted, were finally forthcoming.  And here are the questions Hil(liar)y could not bring herself to answer. All the things she could just not recall (comments in parentheses are those of the Chuckmeister).  She couldn't - or chose not to - remember:

1.   Whether or not she received a security clearance and whether or not she retained it while Secretary of State. (Really?)

2.   Whether or not she received security training while at the State Department. .(She signed a statement that she did).

3.   The process of selecting or designating targets for drone strikes.

4.   How data on her Blackberry(s) were destroyed (the FBI discovered she had 13 Blackberry devices, and several were destroyed with a hammer (!).  (Remember when she swore to us she had only used one, and only because of "convenience?)

5.   What constitutes secure cell phone usage with State Dept. staff.  (We now know that she could not make or receive cell phone calls from her 7th Floor offices at the State Dept.  She had to leave the floor and go the 6th or the 8th Floor to make or receive calls, and all were unsecured!)

6.   Whether or not emails with classified information had been sent on unsecured communications channels.  (Given that they all ran through her personal, home-brew server, some 100,000 of them, that would be some major thing to just forget)

7.   Anything pertaining to conversations she may have had about setting up a private email account.  (Since she paid for it, I wonder who she thinks might have done it?)

8.   Email policies in the Foreign Affairs Manual.  (Did she ever read it?)

9.   The reason her request for a Blackberry from the State Dept. was denied.

10.  The names of any aides who had access to her Blackberry and email accounts.  (It would appear all of them did)

11.  The procedure for deleting her emails. (For us it would be to hit the "delete" button. For her it would appear to be a team of highly-paid IT people and some of that "Bleachbit.")

12.  Any emails she may or may not have sent regarding server storage limits.

13.  Any offers she may have received from aides to obtain clintonemail.com accounts besides Huma Abedin.

14.  Any compromise of aides' Gmail accounts.

15.  A cable about Bryan Paglio's upgrade of her private email server.  (NOTE:  Paglio has been granted immunity by the FBI, yet still won't appear, even though subpoenaed on multiple occasions by Congress.  He must have some seeeereeus information he refuses to share, even though he cannot be punished for any involvement in any crime. Something to do with all those 40-plus Clinton bodies stacking up, maybe?)

16.  Whether or not she may have used an iPad mini.  (There are multiple of pictures showing her using it)

17.  Specific email a.

18.  Specific email b.

19.  Specific email c.

20.  Specific email d.

21   Specific email e.

22.  Specific email f.

23.  Specific email g.

24.  Specific email h.

25.  Specific email i.

26.  Specific email j.

27.  Specific email k.

(Since they were all redacted by the FBI, we'll never know what information they may have contained.)

28.  Any information regarding the procedure regarding the receipt of a secure fax.

29.  Any information regarding Freedom of Information Requests for her email usage.

30.  Any further access of her private email usage.

31.  Any specific information about her security clearance.

32.  Any information about the archiving of her emails.

33.  Anything about her legal team's separation of her private and her work emails.  (I mean, there were 55,000 designated as public, and 33,000 labeled as personal, and another 15,000-plus we were not told about that the FBI found and released.  And they were all separated at her direction.  That would be kind of hard to forget, right?)

34.  Any conversations she may have had about Federal records keeping regulations.

35.  The content of any State Dept. briefings she may have had following her concussion in 2012.  (One of her excuses for her poor memory was a "concussion" that she sustained. As reported by NBC, Hil(liar)y stated she could not recall the details of briefings that she attended due to a concussion she sustained after a fainting spell in 2012.  And that "concussion" occurred just days before she was due to testify to Congress under a Federal subpoena.  Timely, huh?)

So, my friends, and you are my friends, the woman who wants you to send her back to the White House, as both President of the United States, and Commander-in-Chief, with her finger on the nuclear trigger, and bring former-President and hubby Billy Jeff "Blue Jeff" Clinton with her, seemingly could not remember much past her own name. One could state that such a failure to remember, especially by a trained lawyer who knew she was facing indictment for numerous felonies if she lied to the FBI, avoided such a fate by simply failing to remember.  I guess you cannot lie if you do not remember.  I'm going to pack that bit of information away for future reference.  All it seems you have to do to avoid getting arrested, charged, tried, found guilty for a Federal crime and sentenced to an 8' x 10' cell in scary Leavenworth is to simply forget your involvement in that crime.  

Imagine how different it could have been:  FBI:  "Tell us, Mr. Dillinger, why did you rob that bank?"  Dillinger:  "Bank? What bank?"  

To paraphrase Dana Carvey's SNL Church Lady character, "How conveeeeeeeeenient"