Brighton Beach, Russia

We've heard that Mr. Vladamir (I hate Obama!) Putin invaded the Crimea because it has loads of Russians who are in fear for their lives.  Apparently, Ukraine is taking advantage of them somehow and Putin isn't going to stand for it.  What he did, as a result, is all over the news.

Ukraine, as some of you know, was for decades the property of the Soviet Union.  In fact, Ukraine has been owned and operated by lots of different countries during the past 1,000 years.  And they were, and are, not happy about that.  Once they achieved their independence from the Soviets some 20 years ago, they, the Ukrainians, began to rebuild their economy and their country.  But the Russkies were, and are, not happy about having their enormous imperial fiefdom dismantled.  And they hold America responsible. Remember "...Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!?"  I thought you might.

And so the Ukrainians, mostly eastern European-leaning in the left two-thirds of the country, and Russian-speaking and -leaning - in the right one-third, the Crimeans, have been in a tug-of-war with Moscow ever since.  Putin, really pissed about the whole deal, has said his dream is to rebuild the Soviet Empire.  And to start he's conjured up the notion that the Crimeans (read Russians) were being mistreated and needed to be reunited with their historical brethren.  He invaded.  The west did nothing.  Nothing!  

Even though the west, led by Washington, nominally, has promised to support and defend the Ukrainians in several treaties over the years, Oblamo's response to their request for weapons was to offer them some MREs...Meals Ready to Eat, don't you know.  Got that?  They wanted some guns and we offered them some meat loaf and mashed potatoes.  Oh, and it gets better.  The next round of care packages turned out to be socks. Socks!  So they'll have plenty of crappy food to eat and lots of nice, warm socks.  Unbelievable.

Now everyone knows that the only reason Putin wanted the Crimea was because of his desire for continued unfettered access to his submarine pens on the warm-water Black Sea port.  And Kiev's recent posturing toward enacting closer ties to NATO and the west got Putin all antsy about losing the Crimea.  Add to that our village idiot, Chuck Hagel, Secretary of Defense, stating that we really, really, needed to reduce the size of our military to much, much smaller.  Smaller, even, than just prior to World War the Second.  We just couldn't afford to keep paying for our military when we needed to expand food stamps and welfare payments and Obamaphones.  I mean, we have standards, right?

And so Putin struck.  He saw weakness in Oblamo and the west, most of which he keeps warm in the winter with his natural gas exports, leading him to make his move.  And although resoundingly deplored, no one has done a thing.  As some wag said, Putin is playing chess, Oblamo is playing checkers.  Ummm, yes.

End this chapter with 60 - 80,000 Russian soldiers amassed on the eastern Ukrainian border, with more than 1,000 tanks, ready to pounce, and you have a Mexican standoff, with Putin as the Mexican.  We should be ashamed of ourselves. Not Oblamo and Hagel, mind you, they're complete idiots; we Americans should be ashamed for voting for this empty suit.

Throughout history, those who exhibit weakness invite a bloody nose.  And we're getting our noses bloodied.

So as I understand it, under the new rules of invasion, all Putin needs to believe is that there's a preponderance of Russians somewhere who say they're being mistreated, and he has the green light to invade.  Well, if that's true, I seem to recall that Brighton Beach, New York, is just absolutely crammed full of Russians!  In fact, I think the Russian mafia hangs out there.  It's like their headquarters.  So if a bunch of Russians somehow being mistreated  (the cops hassle them all the time!) is all that's needed to invade, I'm wondering when Putin will invade Brighton Beach?  I can assure you this; under Putin's leadership they'd be a whole lot better off than they are under New York's current management.  I mean, De Blasio?  Come on!  That communist twerp couldn't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight!

Oh wow!  I hope I didn't give Putin any ideas...