Perhaps It's Time...

Did you know that Europe and the United States are just about the same size?

Yep, Europe is about 10 million square meters.  The U. S., 9.8.  

And interestingly, did you know that Europe contains 44 countries?  I do, as I'm fortunate to have lived there.  And visited 37 of them.

So, they're about the same size, and have about the same number of Countries/States.  Europe has a bunch of countries because they couldn't get along together.  Remember the "100 Years War?"  That's because they fought it for 100 years.  So they broke into various countries.  And I think it's high time for us to emulate Europe.  

The people of the Big Blue Cities, all 50 of them, pretty much loathe the folks who live in Iowa.  And Arkansas.  And Texas.  And Kansas.  And anywhere else without all the homeless and illegals and concrete canyons and street hot dog vendors.  They'd also loathe Florida, too, except they need to visit DisneyWorld. 

And the folks in our Heartlands don't think all that much of the Big City Dwellers, either.  They think they're snooty and talk too fast.  And that they live and work in loud, dirty, smelly and dangerous places.  

So we're seemingly bound to disagree.  Indelibly so.  And nothing I see on the horizon will change that.  So I think it's high time we stop trying to make this marriage of ours work.  Before we get to the point of domestic abuse, I suggest we call the Constitutional lawyers and do a break up.  A divorce.  Between the "Red" States and the "Blue" ones.  It might work like this...

     -  Interstate Highway I-70 starts in a parking lot in Maryland, and ends at a gas station in Utah.  It divides the 'Nawthen States' from the 'Suthen States.'  It also pretty much divides the U. S. of A. in half.  It wanders through 11 States, including 405 miles through Kansas.  So let's start there.

    -  California has already started a petition to secede from the Union.  And Taxifornia's Secretary of State has certified it.  Meaning it's no bulls*it.  It's going forward.  They've already collected 792,000 signatures, so it will surely be on the ballot.  It's planning to go its own way.  CA considers itself the 5th largest economy on the planet and they don't need no stinkin' U. S. of A.!  And now that The Donald's in charge, they have increased impetus to leave.  

Now.  

And we know that Oregon and Washington both hate everything on the East side of the Sierra Nevada, I predict they'll follow suit.  Maybe all three will decide to throw in with each other and go it alone.  They might even choose to join up with Canada, eh!  Canada is socialist, and the three States are socialist, so they might choose to hook up.  That makes my suggestion even more appropriate, and even more timely.

     -  So everything North of I-70 becomes the "Socialist States of America."  Everything South becomes the "Conservative States of America."  The "Blue" States keep Washington, D.C. and the Swamp Dwellers therein.  The "Red" States will find a new HQ.  Maybe in Dallas.  Or Miami.  Or maybe Little Rock.  Anywhere but D.C.!  You can get knifed and shot and carjacked in D.C.!  

     -  They get the "Legacy Media" and Hollywood, we get the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, the Coast Guard, and the Space Force.  They get all the newspapers but the WSJ, Whole Foods, and all the Wind and Solar Farms.  We get all the refineries and the distilleries and the breweries.

     -  They get all the illegal alien migrants, we get all the poor Veterans who need a hand.  

     -  They get Ben & Jerry's, we get Tennessee's Barrett Manufacturing, where all the .50 Caliber sniper rifles come from.

     -  They get all the Electric Vehicle charging stations, we get the 299,000 gas stations.

     -  We get all the binary citizens, they get all the transgenders.

     -  They get MSPMS and what's left of CNN, we get Fox News.  

     -  And since the three Westernmost States have decided to secede, we'll keep building Trump's Wall all the way up to Canada.  Let's see how smug they are when they have to show a passport to get to Las Vegas!

     -  So America will then consist of the Northernmost States who love welfare and illegal immigrants and being told what to do, and the Southernmost States, whose citizens love pecan pie, fast cars, concealed carry, pickem up trucks, rodeo, hunting deer for the table each Fall, and Freedom!  

Something that's in short supply up 'Nawth,' BTW. 

Europe has 44 countries, we'd only have 2.  In just about the same amount of real estate.  And if you live in a state where you feel you don't belong, you know, where they permit abortion up until the 3rd grade, you can vote with your feet!  Just like I had a starter wife before I found a permanent one, if you don't like it where you are, you can move!

What a concept!

There ya' are!  The problem's solved!  Everybody's happy!  Life is good!  And yes, I love exclamation points! 

Whaddaya' think, Fellow Patriots? 

Climate Same.

We're told that the cause of the wildfires in the Pacific Palisades is "Climate Change."

Those that are telling us this are trying their best to blow smoke up our collective asses.

We've been recently told that hurricanes are also caused by "Climate Change."  Apparently the cool folks who spread these rumors are unaware that the single biggest, baddest and most dangerous hurricane to ever make landfall struck South Padre Island, Texas, back in 1909.  It killed more than 9,000 of our fellow citizens.  And wiped out 13,000 houses.  As in, all of them.  Maybe our "eco-warriors" should have studied up on the issue before they began spewing ignorance.  

Or maybe they figure the American People are so damn dumb they'll believe the tripe they're spewing.  Either way, I suggest they bone up on history in order to be worth the air they're breathing.

As long as I've been alive we've been told we're going to die from one thing or another.  Whether a New Ice Age (Time Magazine, 2006), or Acid Rain, or an Epidemic, or AIDS, or a meteor strike, or a raging outbreak of (fill in the blanks).    

These folks are modern-day replicants of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf."  'Near as I can tell, about 15% of our population is certifiably nuts.  They enjoy being pissed off.  They live to be frightened.  They're likely also involved in the Minority Wierdness that has overtaken people recently.  The ones who dress up as babies.  Or animals.  Or "Two Sprits."  Whatever the Hell that is.  

I cannot remember a time in the last 30 years when we weren't facing extinction for one reason or another.  We gonna' die if we don't stop doing this, or start doing that.  But in the meantime, we must absolutely spend, donate, give, and be taxed enormous amounts to stop it.  For that's our only chance.  Spend Big or Die.

Horsesh*t.

Even after our Nation has spent $Hundreds of Billions of Dollars of our Taxpayers' money to cool down the planet, the Climate remains pretty much the Same.  I would suggest if we must waste money on such tomfoolery, just put a few $Billion in a shredder and drop the pieces from a helicopter over our major cities.  It would do just as much good... 

In the meantime, just relax and enjoy life.  As my Dear Old Dad used to say, "Never take life too seriously.  You're never gonna' get out of it alive."

Decentralize Gubmint.

George Washington tapped our famous French General Jean Lafitte to design Washington, the District of Columbia.  To lay it out on a map.  With the Capitol Building in the exact center.

Not a state, but a District.  Where the business of our young Country was to be conducted.  

So, knowing that it took weeks sometime to get mail and messages and soldiers to the the more distant parts of our Country, Washington decided to bring all the various parts of Gubmint together.  In one City.  So that we could conduct our Federal business more quickly.  And accurately.  Across the street, not across the Country.  

All that worked up until the time of computers.  Recall the days when "Interoffice Memos" was an 18" tall manilla envelope with a string to tie it shut?  You put stuff for other departments in it and retied the string.  And some lowly MinWager would pick it up and deliver it to another part of the company.  Across the building, or across town.  

Ahhh, but with computers, we no longer needed the pimply-faced delivery boy.  We could send a text message at light speed.  We could hold Zoom calls.  We could conduct board meetings and management meetings and marketing meetings.  And military folks could plan all their skirmishes and wars and bomb droppings, whether down the street or 2,500 miles away.  

In short, having everyone in the same town is no longer necessary.

So I, The Chuckmeister, am suggesting we decentralize Gubmint.  I actually lived and worked in D.C. for a time while protecting everyone from communism.  So I'm familiar with what happens when people get too familiar.  And especially when everyone knows Gubmint workers couldn't be blown out of their jobs with a cannon.  They start to adopt an "us versus them" attitude.  They've circled the wagons are are in a continual Defcon 3 mode.  Making as much as possible for doing as little as possible.

It's time to remove their Binky.

I recommend we split apart the 51 Federal Agencies.  And their 256 Departments.  And their more than 2,000,000 Federal Workers.  Send the Interior Department to Idaho.  The Treasury Department to Denver (it used to be there!).  Health and Human Services should go to Minneapolis, where everybody is so freakin' healthy.  Only the Defense Department, Department of State, and Homeland Security should definitely remain in "The Swamp."  

It would be big of us to offer to send the employees in those Departments and Agencies to their new towns and cities.  But I doubt many would take us up on it.  They're too ingrained in their own idealogies.  Moving their place of employment to a new locale would permit us to hire an all new cadre.  Folks owing their fielty only to the U. S. of A.  

What a concept...  

When Musk overpaid for "X," he immediately fired 80% of the staff.  And things went along swimmingly.  He said they were unneeded unless he was running a Social Engineering effort.  I'm guessing we could shed a whole bunch of the 2,920,000 Federal Employees by simply moving their desks to a new zip code.  

Musk's in charge of DOGE.  He wants to save us $2,000,000,000,000 (with a "T").  This might go a long, long way toward achieving that goal.

What do you think?

So it's TIme to Ban Cars!

Would it surprise you to learn that you are nearly 25 x more likely to die by automobile than by gunfire?

Surprised?  So we all know that guns are bad, right?  We've been taught to think that by those on the Left since we were in pre-school.  For decades.  DECADES!  Even though its Americans' familiarity with, and Constitutionally-guaranteed access to, firearms, enabled us to win the Revolutionary War.   

And their rationale for that belief is that guns kill more people than anything else.  Including plagues, falling rocks, or even Republicans.  Even though that's patently untrue.  As if that would stop them...

So I'm wondering what would happen if the Leftoids had their flawed logic thrown back in their smarmy faces?  Let's find out...

We all know the Democrats and the "Progressives" and the Liberals and the socialists and the  Marxists and the communists (do we include LBGTA123#$%+++'s here?) and any other yet to-be-named grouping on that side of our political spectrum hate guns.  Desperately.  And they wish to ban them with extreme prejudice.  Especially those awful "assault weapons."  Which they hate but cannot define.  They're all black and ugly and scary, they say, and they want to murder all the socially concious folks.  They say.   

All day and all night.  They say.

Or perhaps they're trying to make us all subservient to the Gubmint.  Where only the select few have firearms.  Only them and theirs.  As in Cuba.  And Russia.  And China.  And North Korea.  And even England and Germany and France and Spain and Italy.  So we're completely dependent upon them and their protection.  Instead of me and my protection.  And us and our protection.  Like the Mafia writ large.  Uber Large!  

Which is unlike the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, and the 2nd Amendment was written, and intended, I might add.

In any event, they wish to have all guns regulated.  And then confiscated.  And finally destroyed.  Co-President Harris had so stated.  So that we can all hold hands and skip through the daisies to our hearts delight.  With a rainbow to boot.  They won't say that out loud, but that's what they want.  

They blame guns for what people do with them.  But strangely, they don't blame knives for what people do with them.  Or hatchets.  Or flame throwers.  Or automobiles for what people do with them, which is the subject of my little diatribe for today.

I've researched the data and I can tell you that 48,222 of our friends and neighbors died by gunfire during the year 2022.  That's the latest statistics our woefully sluggish ATF is able to produce.

And 43,874 during that same year died in automobile accidents.  Also from 2022, since the NHTSA is also glacial in their data accumulation and release.

We can therefore deduce that cars are safer than guns, right?  Ummmm, noooooooo!  Let's dig down into that number a little bit.  51% of the 48,222 died by suicide.  

And 25,876 used a gun to kill themselves.  They could have used a knife, or poison, or an electric shock, or maybe even the CO2 from an automobile to kill themselves had a gun not been available!     

Suicides are like that.

So we can reasonably subtract that 25,876 who died by suicide from the overall 48,222, right?  That leaves about 26,644 of our citizens who died by gunfire without their permission.  

24,211 of that number died by homicide.  That was also without their permission.  Somebody used a gun to kill somebody else.  They could have used a knife had a gun not been available.  They do that in England, btw (right Jon?).  Where guns are no longer available.  There's an average of 14 stabbings every day in London, as an example.

Or maybe a Louisville Slugger.  No gun available?  Use a baseball bat.  Or some poison.  Or battery acid in their morning coffee.  Or how about the bite of an asp, like Cleopatra?  Yeah, and a bomb would do if no gun's available.  (There's plans for bomb building available on TikTok, just to be helpful.)  

Or perhaps they could be strangled!  Or beaten or kicked to death with fists or feet.  Or somehow manage to kill themselves in a single-man jail cell in Midtown Manhattan, while on video camera, like that infamous guy with an island.  Or maybe pay somebody to drive over you with an automobile!  (Like the recent "Girlfriend-Cop Murder" trial.)  The hard truth is, if somebody wants to kill you, they'll likely find a way to kill you.  Whether there's a gun nearby or not.

(P.S.  Be nice to people and they likely won't try to kill you.) 

Oh yeah, I should add that less than 1% of all deaths by gunfire in 2022 were by long guns.  388, to be exact.  That would include shotguns and rifles.  Like the AR-15's.  And AK-47's.  Sorta' makes one think those on the Left are complaining where there should be no complaint.  But then again, they lie like a rug, hoping their less than intelligent followers won't know any better.  

And then there's always accidents.  But less than 1% of all deaths by gunfire are the result of accidents.  377 of them, to be precise.  Somebody drops a loaded gun and it goes off and kills them.  Candidates for the Darwin Award, they are.  Or a bullet from a gang war 4 blocks away kills your Aunt Gracie.  So we can subtract that 377 also.  

But then again, all 48,222 auto accidents, were accidents.

So in the final analysis, the real numbers are:

     -  Death by automobiles - 48,222

     -  Deaths by firearms - 1,433

So you're twenty five times more likely to die by automobiles then by firearms.  Annnnd, you can use firearms to protect yourselves should anyone try and jack your car...

So my suggestion is we either, A), follow the Constitution, as written (what a concept!), or B), ban automobiles.  We give a 16 year-old minimal training and then turn him/her/it loose with daddy's F-250, an 8,000 lb. missile.  Just looking for little girls on tricycles to mow down.  Or maybe like with guns, we start nibbling around the edges of legality of use.  Maybe we say "no driver's license until you're 30."  And "none after 50."  And you can only drive North.  Or only own the safest vehicle, whichever your Federal Gubmint decides to bless.  Like the $7,500 of your neighbor's tax money they've been offering to give you if you'll just buy one of those growed up golf carts.  That you can drive while sleeping.  And kill some folks.  

And say we put electrontic governors on all cars to keep them under 45 mph.  Or maybe put big spongie rubber bumpers all around the cars so they don't cause as much damage when they smack into one another.  Like the bumper cars at the carnival, writ large.  

That's what they've been doing with guns.  Taxifornia's BoyGuv (Hairgod) Newsom has puked forth 124 anti-gun Executive Orders since he's been in office.  So far.  Making it ever harder to buy and store and use and own a firearm.  

I don't know about you, but I only vote for those who vote in accordance with the Constitution.  And to vote to let folks drive whatever cars they want.  And instruct the Gubmint to stay out of our wallets, our bedrooms, our garages and our gun safes.  That's called Freedom.  A rare commodity these days.

Especially in Taxifornia...

It's Kinda' Like a Football Game.

I gotta' tell you, I thought we were one Election away from the end of America.  

I thought we'd be stuck into a doom loop toward all-out socialism.  America's been on a glideslope toward socialism for decades.  Accentuated by the election of one Barack Hussein Obama.  Who single handedly rekindled the fires of racism.

And the election of the head a crime family, one Joe O'Biden.  The "Mumbler-in-Chief."  The House Commission investigating O'Biden determined he'd sucked up more than $33,000,000 in bribes from our enemies around the World.  And who felt it necessary to pardon his entire family 15 minutes before his term ended.  Indicative of just how worried he was about dying in prison.

These missteps were only interrupted by the election of Donald J. Trump.  Who momentarily derailed that seemingly inexorable tilt toward socialism.  And who tried to run the Government while the Democrats who controlled Congress, the "Corporate Media," Silicon Valley Titans, the Department of Justice, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the Central Intelligence Agency all wanted him impeached (3 times), bankrupted (2 tries) or jailed (4 attempts).

You might remember that Black Lives Matter and Antifa folks were burning down our cities (11 cops killed, 1,200 wounded, $1.5 Billion Dollars in damages) while the 7 "battleground states" were busy changing the rules on mail-in voting.  All quiet like.  So as to "make it easier" for folks to vote, doncha' know.  

Well after Election Day was over.  

We all know how that turned out.  And then Trump decided to run again.  And despite being outspent 3 to 1 ($1.5 Billion to $335 Million), and having to defend himself in court for six weeks, and fight 3 other criminal charges, he actually won.  They made him post a $173,000,000 cash bond to stay out of jail.  He spent $50,000,000 on legal fees.  Had he lost he'd likely be in prison for the rest of his life.  

And yet he won.

I keep on thinking this guy's a $Billionaire.  He doesn't need any of this.  He has nothing to gain, and everything to lose.  He could be lazing away on some beach somewhere, watching the waves roll in.  As much of a Patriot as I consider myself, I wouldn't have done it.  You most likely woundn't have either.  

Instead, Trump chose to become our Champion.  Our Ombudsman.  Our Galahad.  Our David, facing off against the Giant. 

Had he not turned his head that day in Pennsylvania, he'd be dead.  One has to wonder if he had Divine Help.  I kinda' think so. 

This was a good metaphor for a football game.  A really good First Half, more points on the board, by a Team not supposed to win; and a really awful, boring, miserable, expensive, terrible, dangerous, nasty, 4 year-long Halftime Show.  

Think Jane Fonda, reading from her autobiography at the Army-Navy Game.  

And now the second half has commenced, with Trump heaving a 65 yard touchdown pass on the 1st Play!  

Things are looking up, America!  I'm encouraged.  I think you should be as well.  Trump has made us a lot of promises.  And yesterday he began keeping them.  After all, it was a binary choice:  A woman who's only qualifications were being a San Francisco Liberal, Dark of Skin, and a Female.  And a guy who's already proven his worth to us once, and has promised to do so again.  

I've been working for this outcome for years.  I think I'll go fishing...

Beige Sucks!

I miss the rain.  And the snow.  And the occasional thunderstorm.

There!  I said it!  I don't know whether you know it or not, but I come from a region of the Country with 4 distinct seasons.  They are:

     1.  Winter

     2.  Two weeks of Spring  

     3.  Summer

     4.  And then, two weeks of Fall.

And during that seemingly unending Winter portion, it can snow and blizzard and hail and dump untold tons of white ugliness upon us.  Freezing some of us to death and causing traffic delays for everybody.  Snow piled 8' high.  Black ice making the roads a skating rink.  And cars and trucks causing accidents galore.  Colder than a well digger's ass in the Klondike, it is!  

Then comes Spring!  Ahhhhh!  Birds chirping and bees buzzing.  Put the top down on the convertible.  That lasts about two weeks.

Then blazing hot Summers are upon us!  Hotter than a four peckered goat!  So hot you can't put the top down on the convertible!  

Then Fall!  Leaves a'falling and brisk evenings and roaring fireplaces!  Chopping wood and wearing sweaters and spending two weeks preparing for the Arctic blast.  Maybe two more top-down evenings.

And then whip out the skis!  And the Ugh boots.  And the snowshoes.  It's time for Winter again!  It snows like you wouldn't believe!  8, 10 inches, even a foot!  Cars sliding around, frostbite, people getting lost in the woods and freezing to death.  Some never to be seen again!  

But California?  Endless Summer.  

I have to admit the balmy Mediterranean climate brought me to Sunny Southern California.  I was "up to here" with Missouri's weather.  Four Summer evenings with the top down on your convertible does not make up for 300 awful days you must somehow survive.  And so I up and moved.  Just like that. And I've been here for 50 years.  And I'm now "up to here" with the sameness.  That awful boring sameness that spells a life in CA. 

And all the beige!  The sand is beige.  The roadsides are beige.  The bushes and vegetation are all beige.  They even paint their friggin' homes beige!  I'm SICK of beige!   

You wake up, it's nice outside.  You go to work, it's nice outside.  You go to bed, it's nice outside.  It's almost never not nice outside.  That's why I watch the Weather Channel to see how folks are fairing in the other parts of the Country.  Hurricanes and blizzards and heat waves.  Weather.  'Cause we don't got none of that 'round here.

I also must admit that I take some glee in the suffering of those caught up in blizzardy conditions.  I know, I know.  I should not take any sort of pleasure at others' misfortunes.  I don't even know how to spell shadenfreude!  But it helps to pass the time here in our balmy paradise.  Filled with beige.  Where everyday is perfect.

After all, we pay for it in our exhorbitant taxes.  The very highest taxeas in the entire Nation!  You pays your Federal income taxes and then pack up to another 14.4% on top of that!  Who knew we had a partner when we started our businesses?  But we plan for it.  We deserve it!  It's like a punishment for living such comfortable lives.  But that doesn't mean we don't get sick to death of it!

And yes, I'm prone to using exclamation points excessively.  It's a personal failing, and I'm in rehab.  They're trying to get me to use semicolons as a halfstep toward community reentry.  So there.

That's also why I'm putting together another Small Business.  There must be other transplants from places where they boast actual "weather," and who would like to experience some of that real weather for a day or two before they bite the dust.  Buffalo, NY.  And Chicago, IL.  And Philadelphia, PA.  And Kansas City, MO, my old stomping ground.  Folks who would like to see a rainstorm.  Or an ice storm.  Or a blizzard.  Or 130 degree Death Valley heat.  And who would be willing to pay a smal(ish) fee to do so. 

Like Salina, Kansas.  I actually lived there for a time.  I recall there was a month back in 1974 when the termperature didn't reach Zero for the entire month of January.  Ahhhhh! 

I'm calling it "Chuckmeister's Travel Service."  You can call upon us and get all the "weather" you want!  You'll get picked up by a motor coach, given a cup of plain old cheap, non Starbucks coffee, and transported to where there's snow.  Or rain.  Or freezing, Arctic temperatures.  Or miserable heat.  In short, where we from the Midwest call WEATHER!    

I'm still working out the kinks, but be advised we'll be launching real soon.  So make a list of all the weather you'd like to experience within a shorty bus ride and then d.m. me.  I'll add it to the list.  And in the meantime, just remember,

Beige sucks!

Normalizing Idiocy.

I'd like to meet the very first person who decided to applaud politely at Lia Thomas' winning performance in the pool that day.

The day that "she" outswam Riley Gaines, a 5' 2," 110 pound female.  By more than a pool length and a half.  

Thomas, a strapping 6' 4," 235 pound ex-male, who, before discovering this little McGiver, ranked 435th in the world.  The day before she "saw the light."  And decided that "she" should become a female.  Following which she swam to a record against Gaines.  And became the fastest "female" swimmer in the world.

I dunno' about you, but one of the things that put a burr under my saddle blanket is the normalization of men competing in womens' sports.  In spite of Title IX, a law that'd been in force for more than 50 years, the O'Biden Administration bowed to the wishes of their far far-Left and capitulated.  And forcing women to compete against men became the Law of the Land.

What fools.  California has told us, officially, that there are now 57 genders.  With a straight face.  Men are now competing against women in every sport they can find.  Even chess, fergodsake!"  Not just swimming, but volleyball, baseball, track, boxing, wrestling, even weightlifting!  And our Leftist shotcallers have rejoiced!  For some strange reason, they want it this way.  And I can't figure out why.

As with the story about "The Emperor Has No Clothes," all it takes to normalize a practice, make regular and unspecial, is to simply applaud.  Politely.  When an outrage starts to occur, just applaud.  And if you're in charge, all those subservient to you will mirror your actions.  To gain favor.  

It's Human Nature.

And then like a wildfire, pun intended, it will gain support among the followers.  Those who mimic any action in order to be accepted.  Such is what's happened with the blending of the genders.

The incoming Trump Administration has already fostered a new law on this subject that's already passed the new House.  It demands that men should be kept out of womens' sports.  Rat now!  Immediately!  Regardless of any state law.  And with a majority in the Senate, there's every reason to expect it will pass.  Quickly.  Which means we should see an end to this ungodly outrage macht schnell.  

I've lived in such a inside-out society for a decade now.  A decade in which we've no longer run America for the benefit of the majority.  It's been run for tiny minorities.  The gay, and lesbian (isn't that the same thing?), and "two spirit," whatever that is.  And the illegal immigrants.  And any religion except Jewish and Christian.  A man recently took up the sport of fencing, converted to female-ness, (wink-wink), and three months later beat the women's World Champion for a Gold Medal.

Is that fair?

I hope to live long enough to see this really dummass social experiment go down in flames.  If we can see how ridiculous this is, just imagine how ridiculous the things must be we can't see!  All the "Diversity, Equity and Inclusion" stuff.  And the "CRT" nuttiness.  Let's return to the good old days of X and Y chromosomes.  Just men and women.  Only two. 

At the very least it should help to avoid a lot of unpleasant surprises at our bars and cocktail lounges.

There's only one downside to this action that I can see.  The tens of thousands of Californians involved in trying to Normalize this Idiocy, would have to find something else to do... 

Every Now and Again...

Every now and again we're reminded of just how puny we really are.

Just how small.  And insignificant.  How subservient to Mother Nature you and I really are.  For every now and again Mother Nature rises up and swats us across the kisser.  Delivers a death blow, in fact.  She'll rob us of our homes.  And our livelyhoods.  And our history.  From which we'll have to rebuild.

But in spite of all that, we'll choose to rebuild in the same exact areas which attract the kind of swatting from which we've had to rebuild.  Again and again.

Those who pine to live next to an ocean.  Or to a ski slope.  Or next to a raging river.  And then find a way to do so, only to have Mother Nature take it from us.  As has just happened, and is happening in Southern California as this is being written.

I come from a part of the Country where people have a goal to buy a spread nestling up against a river.  For we had a paucity of oceans and mountains and ski slopes.  And many were (fortunate?) enough to do so.  Yet, every now and again that river will flood.  As they all do from time to time.  And steal our homes and farms and vehicles and businesses from us, as they all do.  

Again and again.

Yet we choose to rebuild.  Apparently embracing the (false) belief that it won't happen again.  And yet it always does.

As I reach a lofty age, I've come to believe that we all live our lives with one goal in mind: hoping not to die.  The ancient Egyptians lived their entire lives as a warm-up act to dying.  Believing that the real good stuff occured after we were dead and gone.  That life was just a preparation for death.  And that their Pharoah would be resurrected to that star in the sky and protect them all.  That's why they so willingly helped to build the pyramids.  For their just reward in the afterlife.

We Americans don't think that way.  We want to live, and live well.  And we invest most of our wealth into our homes and farms and businesses.  Yet the 1993 Laguna Canyon fire I referenced in a previous posting should have served to educate us all about what dry vegetation, Santa Ana winds, Mother Nature and a spark can do to those same homes, farms and businesses.  

It didn't.

Now we're faced, as a society, with having to deal with another such disaster.  Only several times as big.  Perhaps the biggest and most expensive natural disaster to ever occur in our Country.  Perhaps as much as $150,000,000,000.  With a "B."  Will we learn this time how to prepare and deal with a future event like this one?  

I'm suggesting that no, we'll not learn from this.  Not so long as we have a smug, grinning, preening, smarmy Governor.  A man born on third base, yet thought he'd hit a triple.  Were it not for having J. Paul Getty as a Godfather, and San Fran Nan Pelosi as an aunt, I suggest this guy would be selling cars to Silicon Valley $Millionaires.  

A run-of-the-mill, socialist-leaning Democrat just won't do anymore for any job of consequence.  For they're the ones who made this mess.  And keep on making it.  We don't need a slick salesman as Governor any more.  We don't need a Lost Angeles Mayor who's only qualifications are being Black, and a woman, when being Black and a woman was the primary requirement.  We need those who know their jobs, and do their jobs, for the benefit of all their voters.  

Until the good citizens of California are willing to vote their own best interests, and "hire" those who know what to do, and will do it, natural disasters like these will continue to upend their lives.  

The truth hurts.  As those in the military say, "Embrace the suck."  And then do something about it... 

New Years Absurdities.

It's time once again for my Annual list of more...

        "New Years Absurdities."  

A courtesy of your friend and mine, your Scribe Without Portfolio, me.  Here it comes.  Saddle up and let's ride...

     -  Our own BoyGuv Newsom just rolled out his January 1st list of new, and ever more stringent laws.  Like we need more laws.  Presumably successful people run for our Senate and Assembly to go to Sacramento and what?  Make some new laws.  We don't need no more stinkin' laws!  Can't they get a job doing something constructive?  Like be a Greeter at Wal-Mart, maybe?

As I've reported before, Taxifornia has 366,443 laws, codes, rules, regulations, restrictions, and wet dreams.  That's almost exactly double New York's count.  They only have 177,258 laws on their books.  Illinois comes in third at 111,342 of them.  There's a couple of "Red" states with fewer than 25,000 laws by way of which to try and hem up their citizens.  Don't you sometimes feel like the walls are closing in?  Don't you sometimes wonder if living in this zoo is worth the price you continually have to pay?

A price which keeps going up, and up, and up...

     -  A yuuuge bunch of people will make a resolution to lose weight in the New Year.  Excess fat is weight, doncha' know.  We don't want to lose muscle or sinew, we want to lose weight!  Just spare calories for when you go for a stroll in the forest and get lost.  Got no food, but you got fat!  Us chubbies are carrying around a lunch bucket good for at least a couple of weeks.  

But I've always wondered where that weight goes once we lose it?  Does it magically go to some deserving soul in China or India or Bangladesh whose ribs are sticking out?  It can't just disappear, as fat is energy.  You have to burn energy in order for it to disappear.  Like on a treadmill.  I'm thinking this might be a subject for some brainiac to pursue.  I see a Peace Prize in their future.*

     -  Don't you find it funny that our newly-retired Richie Rich's are just dying to buy Muscle Cars from way back when?  The SS Chevys and the GTO's and the Corvettes?  The Hemis and the Dodge Magnums and the Cobras.  The cars I bought new when I was a tad younger.  And then I beat them to sh*t and swapped them for a new one.  Because they were cheap.  Built cheap, looked cheap, acted cheap.  Example:  My fully-loaded Honduras Maroon 1962 Chevrolet Super Sport 409, 4-speed, Posi-trac, bucket seats and all, went out the door at $3,812.10.  I wrote a check for it and drove it away.  The same car would now cross the auction block at more than $100,000.  

That's okay.  My 409 was a hoot ("Giddyup, giddyup 409!")!  But I see Big Money being shed for cars we wouldn't have owned.  Plymouth Road Runners, AMC Pacers, Ford Mustang II's.  Dummmass cars.  And many of these cars are completely restored.  At $50.00 an hour and up in some rehab shop somewhere over a year-long period.  Figure at least $60,000 and maybe $100,000 to some restoration shop to fix up a car that might bring half that at auction.  Yet, New Money is chasing these and other worthless cars because they wanted one when they were a teenager, but couldn't afford.  And I'm pretty sure it has to stop.  Real soon.

     -  The 2nd Amendment to the Constitution clearly states, "...the Right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."  I'm guessing Democrats don't know the definition of the word, "infringed," because they've been infringing on it for decades.  BoyGuv has proudly issued 125 Executive Orders, so far, infringing on our Rights to keep and bear arms.  He gets away with it because Taxifornia is a fiefdom, owned and operated by Democrats.  And "Hairgod" is Sheriff John.  If he had his way he'd send the National Guard to our homes and confiscate our firearms.  That effort might be fun to watch.  If it's gonna' happen, I sure hope happens while I'm still around.  I'd like to participate...

     -  It seems that the Democrats finally realized there might be some profit in the businesses over which they hold sway.  They figured out that chain restaurants might actually make some money.  Money which they could attack, in their never-ending quest to find fuel to keep the engine of socialism huffing and puffing.  I mean, what's better, owning a franchise, or being able to tell it what to do and steal all its profit?

BTW, that's the very definition of socialism.

Our BoyGuv instituted $20.00 an hour wages for those of us who ask, "Would you like fries with that?"  The 500,000 min-wage folks who make the Mickey D's and BK's, and Wendy's, keep humming along.  

As an example, the average McDonald's produces about $250,000 a year in pre-tax profit.  After a franchisee's investment of up to $1,200,000.  The new MinWage bump, a 25% overnight increase for the 55 employees in the average Mickey D's, takes just about $250,000 from the pockets of the owners.  As in, all of their profits.  

Others of the chain franchises are similar in their operations.  Rendering their stores virtually worthless.  As businesses are only worth what they can produce in profits.  And rendering their franchisors, those on the Big Board, virtually worthless as well.  And since 97% of all Mickey's stores are owned by Moms and Pops, "Hairgod" may well have bankrupted an entire swath of California's semi-retired citizens.  Store closings are now rampant, but BoyGuv doesn't care.  He's too busy running for POTUS in 2028.  

And trying to extract his head from his a*s after having been found out.  He removed more than $100,000,000 from California's fire fighting budget.  Money that might have helped prevent the six fires now burning brightly throughout Southern California.

     -  And speaking of tipping (we were, weren't we?), I hereby suggest we stop all tipping, right now.  All of it. Tipping has gotten soooo out of control I think we need to stop it all until we get some sanity back into the whole deal.  

Tipping first started back in Olde England when those in the pubs granted the serving wench a tuppence "To insure promptness."  Now?  Everybody in the supply chain between your order and its delivery apparently deserves a tip.  Starting at 20%.  I call foul!  This has become a not-so-subtle shifting of the responsibility to pay our servers from their employers to their customers.  And it is not appreciated.  

I have personally ceased all activity that might demand a tip.  I've discovered how much you can save by resurrecting that long-lost pasttime of home cooking. 

If employers can't or won't adequately compensate their employees, I can't help them.  Just shut down your businesses and give BoyGuv the finger on the way out the door.  A nice lady in Seattle was shown crying after having to shut down her coffee shop last week due to their new 20% MinWage.  Apparently doing business in Taxifornia, and maybe all the Big Blue States, is no longer profitable.  Too bad, so sad.  Perhaps they will all gravitate to Bright Red States.  Then I'd say, will the last person out the door please turn off the lights?

     -  And lastly, the single most absurd thing I believe I've ever seen in my storied life is being warned of an impending disaster, as L. A. Mayor Karen Bass was, in plenty of time to prepare for it.  And being seen as Mayorly.  But then she chose to fly to Ghana, of all places, to preen in front of poor Black folks.  To prance in front of those who have no idea who she is.  Then quickly flying back to L. A. to explain to her constituents that the $17.1 Million Dollars she took from their fire fund, didn't really negatively affect Departmental staffing or response capabilities.  After being told by her Fire Chief that it would.  And Bass then ignoring it.  

And now she reaps the whirlwind.  

So if $Multi-Zillionaires with $Multi-Million Dollar homes can't get their bought-and-paid-for elected officials to see that the fire hydrants in their neighborhoods are ready to provide water, which they weren't; and making sure that the Palisades Reservoir actually had some water in it, which it didn't; how are we "Little People" to presume we'd get help in an emergency?

God, that was a long sentence.  But a nice one, I think you'll agree.    

These things are truly absurd, right?  If you know that, and I know that, why isn't anyone ever doing anything about it?

*    Brought to you by the guy who invented Dynamite.  You knew that, didn't you? 

A Complete Failure of Government.

 "The fear of loss is a far greater motivator than the anticipation of gain."

                                       -  Unknown

My wife Elaine and I were headed off to Laguna Beach for an early dinner that fateful August, 1993 evening.  We happened to notice a small fire burning in a trash pile on an empty lot as we drove by.  We thought nothing of it.

After dinner, while we were on our way home, we noted that the fire had increased in size ten-fold, and fire personnel were there to put it out.  Once again, we thought nothing of it.

The next  morning I stepped out on my balcony, cup of coffee in hand, and viewed with alarm the blood red morning skyline.  South County was on fire...

That was August 7th, and a good chunk of Laguna Beach burned to the ground.  High-zoot homes of the rich and famous.  Burned to the ground.  As a direct result of our annual "Devil" fires.  Our Santa Ana winds bear down upon us from the East every Summer.  We'll have "off shore" breezes for several days a year.  The normal airflow out of Alaska takes a turn for the East instead of our West, giving us "on shore" breezes.  But with Santa Anas, the wind is sent to the East, wrung of moisture by the deserts, then rammed through our mountain passes leading into Southern California.  Gaining speed as a result.  A lot of it.  

It could be as little as a 20 or 30 miles per hour breeze.  It could be a 40 or 50 mph blow.  And then again, it could be an 80 or 100 mph, hurricane-strength torrent of wind.  Unequalled in our recent history, as we're now suffering.  In fact, we were warned it was coming, by our meterologists.  But our leadership did not one goddamn thing about it.

L. A.'s Mayor trimmed $17.1 Million Dollars from L. A.'s Fire Department last summer, all while be warned that it would cripple their recruitment, training, operations and retention.  And Mayor Karen Bass spent at least $1.8 Million Dollars on "Diversity, Equity and Inclusion" training during that same period.  

Priorities?

And then, 2025's Annual Santa Ana Winds arrived.  In a Very Big Way.  Our meterologists warned us all last weekend that conditions would be right for sustained Santa Anas starting on Tuesday.  They did.  They said those winds would last through Friday.  They are.  They said they'd be historic in strength.  They were.  And they said if a spark were to be struck, it could be a modern day Armageddon.  

And that has happened.

State Farm cancelled 1,600 insurance policies for Pacific Palisades homes last Summer.  And they cannot be blamed, as the State would not grant them sufficient operating profits to warrant the risk.  The State (read, "BoyGuv" Newsom) implemented rather its "FAIR" Act, which made the State the insuror of last resort.  Funded with $2.1 Billion Dollars of our money.  Yours and mine.  He'd rather put the responsibility on us, the Taxpayers, than a private company.  Just to deprive that private company, and other private companies, of a fair return on their investors' money.  For shame.

And those 1,600 homes burned to the ground last Tuesday and Wednesday.  And another 10,000 alongside them.  Not just the $Multi-Million Dollar mansions, the modest homes way up the hill, bought by grandparents in the 1960's for $100,000, and now passed on to family members and worth several $Million.  

The ground may be worth several $Million, but the house is only worth $200.000.  

With no insurance, will these middle-class folks be able to rebuild?  Or will this in effect render this vast, 15,000 acre swath of prime real estate go without redevelopment?  Like Detroit, only with an Ocean view.

When the fire appeared, fueled by 100 mph winds, the homes burned in minutes inside a 2,000 degree inferno.  300,000 residents were told to evacuate.  Cars literally melted.  The fire hydrants, unfortunately, were empty.  And because of faulty planning, the evacuation was flawed.  Fire engines couldn't get to homes.  Abandoned cars clogged the one street in and out.  It was chaos.  It was a Hellscape.  It was a complete and total failure of Government.

However, the one bright spot is that O'Biden told us he's a great-grandfather.  Oh,. and Lost Angeles' famously lesbian Fire Chief Kristin Crawford was able to boast that her "DEI" implementation was going well, although they were down several hundred fire fighters in staffing.  They hadn't found enough LGBTQ++ candidates, I assume.  Forcing them to call in help from surrounding states.  Which obliged, thankfully.  When our own highly-paid civil servants cannot serve, it's nice to get help from others that do.

Our elected and appointed leaders have learned nothing from that Laguna Beach Fire.  Even though it was a carbon copy in all but size of the six being fought right now.  This one is Laguna Beach x 20.

Ten people have died in this calamity, so far.  An estimated $150 Billion Dollars in damages may ultimately be attributed to these six fires.  So far.  A couple of major insurance companies could go bankrupt.  That makes it the single most expensive natural disaster in U. S. history.  

Times five.  

At least our outgoing Prez was kind enough to offer to pay for all costs of fighting this fire for the next 180 days.  With our Tax money.  Tying Trump's hands to that promise.  He's such a nice guy!  

And at least Karen Bass got to see the new Prez of Ghana inaugurated.  She was warned about the chances of a major fire while she was gone, but chose to travel anyway.  She flew 26,000 miles in 36 hours, and earned the hate of millions!

And famously gay Chief Crawford got to celebrate her gayness.  And her DEI program.  But this event just might cause all the famously Left-wing Democrat Hollywood set to rethink their politics.  Maybe living in the local hotels while they fight through the permitting process, trying to rebuild their homes out-of-pocket, will be enough for them to come to their senses.  Let them feel what the "little people" feel for a change.  Maybe it will motivate them.

We'll see...

I'm sick to my stomach about all of this, as any thinking citizen would be.  I've seen fires where a few houses burn and a few are spared.  But we're talking more than 20,000 acres completely decimated.  It looks like Dresden after we firebombed it during the Big War.  It's complete and total devistation.  And a complete and total failure of Government.

I started this rant with a nod to an unknown author.  It surmizes that the fear of losing should motivate one more than any hoped-for gain.  I wonder when these residents of high dollar zip codes will band together and work to prevent a recurrance.  First, throw out the poseurs and hire some real managers.  Then watch them like a hawk to make sure they follow through on their promises.  Proper management of forrest, water and human resources could have mitigated this disaster.  

We have to ask questions why it didn't happen.  We'll see if they do...

So Why Don't WE Start a Union?

You may not have heard about the shameful, finger-in-the-eye given the ski vacationers at Park City, Utah this past weekend.  The rich people who pay their rent.  Who put food in their mouths.  Who buy their babies Pablum.  They were perfectly and completely screwed.  And here's how they did it.

It seems that this past weekend in uber-pricey Park City is the beginning of the ski season for the tony set.  The folks who can afford to drop $20,000 for a weekend of skiing.  Reservations made long ago for $4,000 a night accomodations were met with 3 hour waits to sign in and get their keys.  And of 3 glorious and well manicured ski runs on the mountain, only one was open for business.  And the one lift featured a 30 minute wait.

Why?  It seems the "Park City Ski Patrol Association" had chosen this of all weekends to strike.  For better pay and benefits.  All 300 of the Union's members were on strike.  Park City had to fly in folks from other ski resorts to open any run at all.  The Union thus proved that it can hobble their business.  And rob them of both their reputation and their income for their own selfish interests.

We're told Park City, including all its pizza parlors and pubs and uber-expensive restaurants, stood to garner as much as 40% of their entire year's income off this past weekend.

I read several revues condeming Park City and promising to never return.  Pissed of $Billionaires hopping on their G-550's and flying off to more welcoming climes.  Just think how badly this affected the Town.  And does the Union care?  Not a whit...

This made me think that if these folks can do this, WE, you and me, ought to be able to do the same.  All of us.  Every single American everywhere!  I think WE should unionize!  I think we should be able to strike when our elected representatives act like fools.  I think a strike would be in order if the State in which we live tries to tell us what kind of car we can drive.  Or packs nearly a $Dollar a gallon in taxes on our gasoline, as Taxifornia now does.  Why aren't we motorists in this bedeviled State protesting?  And Unionizing?  And striking?  

Just see how quickly they'll come to their senses if we deprived them of their expected tax revenue!

"The Union of the Citizens of the United States of America," I think should call it.  The "UCUSA."  And we're all members already by virtue of our citizenship.  And we should start finally start acting together to get what we want.  And what we deserve!

You know the 1st Amendment guarantees our Right to not only Assemble, but to Protest.  And then to speak our minds.  Well, I'm protesting.  Are you?  Are there things you think are unconstitutional or greedy or unlawful?  That "up with which we should no longer put?"  (With an appreciative nod to Yoda?)  Let's get together and let them know how we feel.  Why should we be forced to stand in the corner and quietly put up with one outrage after another?

If a bunch of guys who play in the snow can cripple an entire town, a SUPER RICH town, LEGALLY, then we, you and me, ought to be able to cripple a Gubmint agency that's acting beyond its authority.  Remember when all those truckers combined to protest Canada's dimbulb Prime Minister?  Their "EX-Prime Minister Justin Trudeau?  

Oh yeah, Pretty Boy has bitten the dirt.  Because Canada's citizenry got tired of being jerked around.  High taxes, high crime, high prices.  Gone!  We already proved we could shake America's foundations with our votes.  Why stop now?  Let's take control of our Country and our future!    

What do you think?

Airplanes!

Did you know that an Airbus A-380 has a maximum takeoff weight of 1,200,000 pounds?  

A friggin' Million Pounds?

Did you know that it features more than 4,000 square feet of usable space?  Three levels?  

Even though I flew for a living back in the 1970's, as in more than 1,000,000 miles in the air, with certificate, I still can't quite comprehend how they do it.  An aluminum tube made by pissed of union members, flitting across the sky at 550 miles per hour.  At 42,000,000 feet.  On their way to a Riyahd.  Filled with people.  With two dozen more crew members and 5 pilots.  Really?

Did you know that same A-380's wings can bend more than 6 feet up or down before they come unglued?  I do.  

I should insert about here than I am terribly acrophobic.  That means I'm afraid of heights.  I actually wish I wasn't so tall.  5' 4" would have been just fine with me.  I need somebody to climb a stepladder to change light bulbs.  I once crawled on my hands and knees to the edge of the Grand Canyon for a peak over the side.  Just to say I'd done so.  Even though I didn't want to do so.

I actually studied the subject so intently at one time I could tell you how many rivets there were in a 707.  And a 727, and 737 and 747.  and L-1011 and DC-10.  Doing my own due diligence to make sure they're airworthy, doncha' know.

So flying is antithetical.  It goes against reason.  And common sense.  Why would anyone step into an airplane and hand their lives over to somebody they've never met?  I mean, did that guy or gal (or other) get laid last night?  Did he just get handed his divorce papers?  Was his Corvette just stolen?  We all know about 3% of the population is batshit crazy, is the pilot among that 3%?  How do I know for sure that he's in shape to fly my butt around the globe?

Remember that pilot who intentionally flew into a mountain in Switzerland a few years back?  Yeah, I remember that.  Here's the statistics:  There are about 1,200,000 commercial flights each year.  With a major accident, meaning loss of life, occurring about a dozen times.  Those odds against it being you is about 0.0015%  Or, you're three times more likely to be struck by lighting.

But you see, I don't care!  They wiggle, they wobble, they jump up and down, unannounced!  They shake, they roll, they sway back and forth!  And the pilot will come on the comm and say, "Slight clear-air turbulence there, folks!  Nothing to worry about."  

Easy for him to say!  He likes this stuff!  

Nope, flying used to be great.  No longer.  Now you have to sit for hours next to some hippie with a comfort chicken on his lap.  Or some sweaty 300 pounder who hogs the armrest.  Or one of those nervous nellies who wants to talk for the whole flight.

BTW, I discovered a way to choke off all conversation.  When your seatmate asked you what you do for a living, simply say:  "I'm a retired shepperd."  Or perhaps, "I majored in animal husbandry until they caught me at it."  Trust me, no more questions.  

When I was flying on a daily basis the plane was half full.  And the half who filled it were all wearing suits and carrying briefcases.  Now the planes are elevated versions of Greyhound Buses.  Packed from stem to stern with angry souls in seats half the size of those we enjoyed way back when.

Yes, it was expensive before the Gubmint stuck its nose into the mix.  Back when we faced fixed, non-competitive fares.  But the stewardesses (what they called themselves) were all 25 and lovely, the planes were all new and clean, and we felt like we were part of a club.  Now?  

Cattle. 

So I swore off.  No more flying commercial.  You have to go through screening, get felt-up by some 400 pound TSA agent, take off your shoes and put them on again, then fight for a seat slightly smaller than your seat.  

And then pray you arrive.  And if so, with your luggage.  I decided if I can't get there by train or by car, I don't need to go.  Just think:  a nice, leisurely drive to Mama's house.  No matter if it's 500 miles away.  You'll enjoy both the scenery and the freedom from being mistreated.  From being nudged, and bumped, and having your personal space violated.  You'll be in charge.  You can stop and stretch your legs, get a burger and take a pee.  Whether the seat belt sign's on or not.  And trust me, you'll see that pothole coming, so the bump won't be a surprise.  

I've been everywhere anyway, so it really won't matter.  

BTW, have you noticed there's been about a dozen airplane accidents in the past week or so?  Yeah, me too... 

"Life"

I think I've got this whole "Life" thing figured out.

You're born either by a Grand Plan or by a complete accident.  Depending upon with whom you speak.  

To either a poor or a rich family, living in 95% of the world not named "America," or even in America itself.

And then you're free to grow up or not, get educated or not, work 'til you drop or laize away, abide by the rules or treat them with disdain.  And then grow old and die, whether rich or not.  Whether you're young or old.  You're going to die.  

Period.

Don't you find it interesting that the uber-rich among us spend a lifetime accumulating "stuff," only to see it taken away with their last breath.  Gigondo yachts.  And private jets.  And multi-million dollar palatial mansions.  Several of them.  And watches made by people whose name you can't pronounce.  

And then the time comes when those pricey baubles will be owned by someone else.  Because the previous owners had learned they only got to use those things until they died.  At which point they'll be getting a box in the ground.  And a fast trip to their just reward.  Whatever their reward might be.

And then it will be somebody elses turn to use those mansions and watches and yachts and expensive items.   

And on that topic, in fact, I believe "Life" is a long-form Final Exam.  And we won't know whether we passed until we die.

If you're religious, you expect an afterlife.  And if you aren't, you don't.  As for me, I plan on passing that Exam, and then having an eternity worth of laughs hanging out with dead Jewish comedians.  Who still believe that we're in Year 5750, or something.  Maybe they're right.  Maybe they're wrong.  But we're all going to die.  And then find out what's on the other side of that veil.

I'm also going to try and find out why a flock of hunter/gatherers and subsistence survivalists all chose, simulfriggentaneously, to stop hunting and gathering and start building gigondo megalithic stone edifices.  On every continent.  At approximately the same time.  From about 12,000 bce to 6,000 bce they started building pyramids.  And stone temples.  Lots of them.  Egypt has 103 discovered, so far.  Sudan has 300.  And Peru.  One was just discovered in Indonesia that's 3 x bigger than the Great Pyramid of Giza.  There are more pyramids in Central America than in Egypt. 

There are  2,600,000 stone blocks, each weighing 5 tons, in the Great Pyramid.  Stacked up to 481 feet high.  I want to know how they did that.  SINCE WE CAN'T DO IT TODAY!

Do you think those, ummm, UFO aliens built those pyramids?  Or at least taught the ancient folks how to build them?  Well, I'm gonna' find out.  I'll get back to you if I can.  I've been watching Ghost Adventures on the Discovery channel so I know it's possible.

In the meantime, it's like being in the Celestial DMV.  You've checked in, shown them your information, and been told to take a seat.  "Just watch the TV screen for your name, sir," we've been told.  And so we are.  

It used to be that "those who die with the most toys, wins."  I think I've disabused us all of that notion.  Now it's "he who dies with the least pain" is the goal...  

Those "Other" Aliens...

There was this guy named Kenneth Arnold.  He's sort of famous.  You can read all about him in any book about UFO's.  For he's the guy most often credited with kicking off the Nationwide awareness of UFO's after WW2.  

Kenneth Arnold was working as a cartographer for the Army Air Force back on June 24, 1947 in and around Mount Ranier in Washington State.  While flying in his Piper Cub one day he saw 9 disc-shaped objects flitting across the sky in a "V" formation.  As he knew the distance between the two mountain peaks in the area, he was able to compute their speed at well over 1,600 mph.  Three times faster then a P-51 Mustang, at 430 mph our fastest fighter at the time.  That got people's attention.

The authorities he reported this to later recomputed their speed to be some 3,600 mph.  

He was later interviewed and said they looked just like "saucers skipping across the sky."  The "saucer" thing stuck, and we still use it until today.

I'm reporting on all this as Kenny was married to my 1st cousin.  He married my Mom's sister's daughter Carole.  He went on to law school and got rich.  He even built his own airplane in his Kansas City, Missouri basement.*

Anyway, probably because of Kenny, and the stories he used to tell me, I've been a student of the subject of UFO's and extraterrestrials and aliens and Area 51 and stuff like that my whole life.  And I have an opinion or two about the subject.  

First, I don't believe they flit back and forth from the Crab Nebula or somewhere like it to visit Earth.  I believe most of them are already here, they've been here for eons, they're seen all over the place every day, and they plan to stay. 

They most likely have bases in Antarctica and on the other side of Catalina and in volcanoes and all sorts of hidden places.  And maybe on every continent, also.  I think they've been here for thousands of years, BTW.  Perhaps tens, or maybe even hundreds of thousands of years.  Zecharia Sitchen's book, "The Twelfth Planet" is a good read if you're up for more on the subject.  

I think we're their science project.  Their "zoo."  They probably bring tourists from their planet to visit us via the "Einstein-Rosen Bridge."  That's a fancy way of saying "wormhole."  Like we visit Zimbabwe on a camera safari.  

BTW, on the subject, I saw a cute cartoon the other day.  It said, "I'll bet UFO's roll up their windows as they pass Earth."

Our Gubmint began lying to us with Roswell.  They didn't know what to say after they'd already said they'd found a crashed UFO.  So they circled the wagons and said the wrong thing.  They lied and said it was a "weather balloon."  And being naiive at the time, our citizens were dumb enough to believe it.  And they've been saying it ever since.  

They only stopped when they got cornered by a Congressional order and had to fess up.  They were forced to come clean about what they knew.  And what they know is that UFO's are real.  They've been real, and they're still real.  There are "Little Green Men" flitting around out airspaces, doing pretty much any dayummm thing they wish.  And some of us are scared about it.  The lily-livered weenies!

Oh yeah, they're really gray.

I don't think we have anything to worry about.  If they intended to do us harm they would've already done so.  Or they may do so in the future. And there's nothing we can do or say about it.  

In fact, I'm of the belief we enterered into an agreement with them back in the 1950's.  Kenny was still in touch with those in power at the time, and they told him it was between the "Grays" and President Dwight Eisenhower.  He actually went "dark" for almost 24 hours on January 24, 1953.  Google it if you need proof.  He was on a golfing vacation in Palm Springs and somehow disappeared.  For an entire day.  The Press went nuts trying to find him.  They found him the next morning in Las Vegas.  His press representative said he'd had a "toothache" and went to a dentist in Las Vegas.  Even though there are bunches of fine dentists in Palm Springs.  Except there are no dental records to prove such a visit.

Eisenhower's grandaughter has recently confirmed that he met with extraterrestrial aliens that day in a hanger at Edwards Air Force Base.  They forged a treaty, she said.  That's why our fighters don't try and shoot them down.  Assuming that they could. 

The deal was simple, as Kenny understood it: we got their technology, they got to kidnap some of us every now and again and run diagnostic tests.  And perform surgery on a few thousand of our cattle.  And taunt our fighters.  Don't be mad.  We were playing the game with a pair of deuces against their Royal Flush.  And apparently they showed Ike their cards.  And he wisely folded.

But I'm betting he'd ask us to remember this:  We went from that P-51 in 1947 to men on the moon in 1969.  That should tell you all you need to know.  

The video from our F-18's back in 2008 proved that they can not only go from 80,000 feet to a foot above the ocean waves in less than a second.  And that they can also travel at more than 30,000 mph, then stop on a dime.  Which would generate "G" forces enough to turn one of us humans into jelly.  Simply stated, it wasn't "us."  

Asking for mercy shouldn't be out of the question.

In fact, there's a theory that they are us, just from the future.  Coming back to take a look, like we look would for Neanderthals.  Like I said earlier, think camera safari...

So what's easier?  Pretending that they aren't real and it doesn't happen, or simply coming clean and telling the us the truth?  Transparency.  Even though the Constitution guarantees it, the Gubmint has been doing their best to avoid it.  It can no longer do so.  Their gargantuan ego has prevented our "Military/Industrial Complex" from admitting it can't compete.  After all, what are they going to say and not indict themselves as a bunch of paunchy, feckless weenies?  Spending our tax dollars by the bushel basket to protect us from...them?  Gales of laughter...  

So I say chill.  Lose the anxiety.  I'm guessing when they believe we're suitably advanced enough to welcome their visit, they'll land on the White House lawn.  Remember that old saying, "Take me to your leader?"  Well, now that we'll have one, in just a couple of weeks, maybe that day will come sooner, rather than later.

*    BTW, Kenny learned his plane was too big to remove from his basement.  I'm thinking he should have figured that out sooner.  He had to take it apart again to get it outside.  Proving once again you can be really smart about some thingsa, and yet be dumber than a stump about others...