On Tipping...

You know me.  I'm big on research.  If I get a burr under my saddle blanket I research the heck out of it.  Until I find the answer to my question.  Or question(s).  And I have many of them.

And as your (Un)Official Scribe Without Portfolio, I sometimes pass along these results to you, my faithful readers.  And Patriots!  Believing that if it interests me, it just might interest you.  

And today's question is on the subject of "tipping."  That process by way of which some miserable waif who brings you an extra napkin will attempt to extract from you your hard-earned money for doing not too much at all.  It's called "the service industry."  And since we don't make anything here in America any more, it seems to be about 80% of our economy.  Doing little stuff for each other and expecting to get paid.  So I looked into it.  And here's what I found.......

Although a Pharoah or two might have flipped the guy who minded his chariot an extra ration of beer, the first notable instance of "tipping" we see in the literature likely occurred during the Middle Ages.  

Knights would throw a bone to their squires, we're told.  Those were the boys assigned to them as apprentices who fed and watered and saddled and cared for their horses, repaired their gear and fetched them women.  Not sure about that last one.  But probably.

And that "bone" thing might actually be true.

That's because those groveling apprentices earned only what their masters, the knights, chose to pay them.  And if they did well, they got an extra tuppence.  A more modern word we believe is derived from "tippance." Which is an Olde English word for "to arrive on time."

We're also told the word "tip" was the short form of "To Insure Promptness."  This first occurred during the mid- to late-1700's.  If a server showed extra care and dedication, and most importantly speed, then one could give that server a little extra "tip."  With emphasis on the "speed."  And they would do that because they knew servers often worked only for gratuities.  They also knew that a server receiving a tip would remember the tipper and be sure to provide extra good service on their next visit.

Now then, all that makes sense, doesn't it?  

If you go in knowing the person who delivers you a service does so with the expectation of a gratuity, and you're fully prepared to pay it, fine.  But being asked to give a tip to somebody who hands you a cup of coffee?  Without having to move their feet?  Just sort of swivel their hips a tad, and move their arm side to side?  Over a total period of perhaps eight seconds?  Or delivers a burger from a fast food joint 12 steps to you curbside?*  Or bring you your food order from the local restaurant?  

Just brings it?  Not seats you, and brings you water, and maybe a steak knife, and your salad, and your entree, of course, and takes your desert order, and brings it, and then your coffee, and then, voila!  Your bill?  Back and forth, back and forth.  Delivering a service...  

(NOTE:  All four of my lovely daughters were restaurant servers on their way up.  I'm therefore partial to the service this bunch of folks provide.)

And your bill will rightfully provide a space for an extra GRATUITY, which we will most usually offer to pay.  Because we are nice people.  And because we chose to go out to eat.  And going out to eat customarily brings with it the expectation of excellent service to the diner, and a decent tip therefore. 

Both accepted customs, about which we know going in.   

But a tip-cup at your local 7/11?  Buy some gum or a pack of smokes and you're expected to give Mr. Singh a tip?  I didn't tell him to get in that line of work!  If his employer doesn't pay him enough, he should demand a raise!  With the job market the way it is, I'm guessing Mr. Singh could easily find a job down the street at the Circle K for more $bucks.  Unless Mr. Singh OWNS the 7/11...

Which he likely does...

I'm sick and tired (of being sick and tired) of this out-of-control tipping culture.  Every time you turn around somebody has their hand out.  And tries to stare you down if you don't tip.  Or worse, don't tip enough.

I'm hereby putting everybody on notice who expects a tip for doing their job, I can outstare you.  And will.  I'm a professional.  Plus, I'm old, have a lot of time on my hands, and need an extra hobby.  Besides this one, of course.  So try me.  I'd enjoy it.

What started all this was I watched a video of one of those food delivery guys demanding an increased tip from the customer because he got caught in traffic.  Which took extra time he hadn't counted on.  And when the customer wouldn't pony up, the delivery guy took the food for himself...and ate it!  Even though the customer had already paid for it.  And threatened the customer if he called the company!

This whole deal just might have gotten out of hand!

Doesn't the food delivery guy work for the restaurant?  Why don't they pay him?  Does he work for me?  When did I hire him?  Can I fire him and just have the restaurant deliver?  It makes a body want to just stay home and order everything in.  Yeah, that's it, order everything in...

Except for the fact whoever brings it will demand a tip...

*   I love Habit.  Their burgers are top-notch.  A suggestion, if they're reading this:  Take the tip box off your payment window.  Staring me down for a tip for bringing my burger to me curbside is abhorrent.  Raise the price if you must, but Do Better...