Red Dye #40

         You're gonna' like this one, fellow Patriot...

Remember a few years back when a group of ordinary citizens grew weary of our Country's blatant non-enforcement of our border policies, leading to a massive invasion of illegal aliens, and decided to open up their lawn chairs and set up their tents...and load up their AR-15's...don their cowboy hats and dare our friends from other countries to wade across the Rio Grande?

Yes, I know it's a long sentence.  I specialize in long sentences.  I'm the very BEST at long sentences...

Anyway, that effort fizzled after a few months.  They were threatened with all sorts of legal action and so they wimped out and went home.  Yawn...  

Now we're back to a full-fledged invasion, just as Mr. Joe O'Biden promised while on the campaign trail back in 2019.  He promised us that, if elected, he would import TWO MILLION BRAND NEW ILLEGALS A YEAR!  And so far as I can tell, that's the only promise he's kept...

Oh yeah, during that same speech he promised to shut down our gas and oil drilling.  He's kept that promise, too...

So what are we gonna' do about it, fellow Patriot?  Don't you think it's time to bring the border charade to an end?  What charade, you might ask?  The charade that only half of our electorate, the half that watches Fox and NewsMax, knows that we're being overrun by people from all over the world!  The one where we require you to take off your shoes and get felt up by a 400 lb. TSA agent with bad breath to get on a plane, yet folks from any one of 178 countries (so far!) can wade across our border with abandon and receive de facto asylum.  They get a cell phone, a warrant, with which they can fly anywhere, for free (!), and a package of goodies from their local NGO.  That stands for "Non-Governmental Activity."  Which we fund with our tax money.  

Think about that:  We make it easy to get here, and then because we fund outfits that like to screw America with bushels of our tax money, easy to stay here.  And the Democrats think, easy to vote here.  While the half that watches CNN and MSPMS and NPR and PBS and the "Alphabets," ABC/CBS/NBC, have no idea that it's happening.  And could probably case less if they did.  

A colonel I had in the Army told me to never, ever bring him a problem without a prospective solution.  I think I'll adhere to that philosophy with this unassuming little missive.  So what's my solution, you might ask?  Okay, sit back and chew on this:

                      RED DYE #40

What's that, you say?  That's the stuff the banks put in their pre-packaged bag of cash, just waiting for a robber to say, "Stick 'em up!"  They give them the "dye pack," they walk around the block, and the "bomb" inside the bag goes off.  It sprays the perpetrator with Red Dye #40.  And it turns them, and anyone near them, a Bright Red.  And they stay a bright red for at least 4 or 5 days!  

Soooo, what do we do with that tidbit of information?  Well, the Army trained me to go all McGiver when necessary, and I think it's now past necessary.  So here's what we do:  We get a couple or five or sixteen paunchy VietNam vets to sneak up to the Rio Grande somewhere around Eagle Pass, Texas.  BTW, Rio Grande means "Grand River," I think.  And then, at the appointed time, they dump a bunch of Red Dye #40 into the River.  And it flows in BOTH DIRECTIONS!  It will turn all 1,702 miles of the River a Bright Red, which in turn, ya' ready?  ...turns anything in the River a Bright Red!  Including any illegal aliens which might happen to be wading across at the time.  And also their coyote shepherds, which is Mexican for "bastardly commie prick," I think.  

I could be wrong on that last one...

So anyway this would give us almost a week to catch and NOT RELEASE these illegals wherever they wind up, and at our leisure!  Our local sheriffs, from Tucumcari to Elizabethtown, from Colorado Springs to Atlanta, could be on the lookout for any "Bright Red" visitors who happen to wander by.  Kinda' doubles or triples the Border Patrol, doncha' know...

So what's with Red Dye #40?  Is it dangerous?  Nooooo, fellow Patriot.  it's in fact one of only 9 additives which may be used in any food or beauty or cosmetic product!  Annnnd, it's available in bulk from Ingridi.com in 50 lb. barrels for only $934,38!  And the good news is if we buy it in volume we can get the price down to less than $800!  What the heck!  We might even be able to pool our cash and buy the company that makes it!  Now, I don't have any idea how much Red Dye #40 it takes to turn a river red, but hey there!  We're sure as Hell gonna' find out!

So there's gotta' be a Conservative $Billionaire or two out there who'd like to contribute to the purchase of a yuuuuuge quantity of Red Dye #40 and have a major hand in turning illegal aliens a Bright Red.  Or maybe the plant where it's made.  And then, like a bunch of superheroes, who strike during the wee hours of the morning, our chunky gize will demonstrate their Patriotism by turning the Rio Red!  And turn a few hundred thousand illegal aliens, or maybe a million...Bright Red!!!

So there's only one question:  Is you in, or is you out? 

p.s.   If this doesn't work, I'm thinking alligator eggs imported from Florida, as a big wet kiss to Boy Guv Newsom, delivered air mail special delivery to Eagle Pass, TX.  Whaddaya think?