"Abortion Careerism"

"Don't know why, every time I pee I cry,

              GONORHEA..."*

Oh, I'm sorry!  I was just re-imagining the lyrics of an olde' timey' hit song named "Stormy Weather."*  That's what old people do to pass the time while they're kept on hold for interminable periods with their health insurance companies trying to get the answer to a simple question.  At least that's what I do with mine (SCAN).  Your experiences may vary (but I doubt it).  So while awaiting a min-wage lady to come on and help me with my question, I dreamed up this little blog posting.  Sit back and enjoy/be repulsed: 

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No doubt by now you've heard about "Abortion Tourism." 

That's where states like Taxifornia invite you to, "Come on out to the coast!  Get a little tan!  Lose that unsightly fat around your tummy!"  

That's already "baked in," so to speak, as our Boy Guv Gavin "French Laundry" Newsom has already agreed to pay for all abortions for all out-of-state women, or rather, "birthing people," whether illegal or not.  And preferably illegal, I'm guessing.  With our tax money.  Including the tax money of us Uyghur Troglodytes who might disagree with such an expenditure.  

Of course, Right-thinking law firms will glom on to Boy Guv's pronunciamento, suing him and Taxifornia into the Stone Age.  Which is where it's headed.  That's why I say it won't be long before there's nobody left here but sign twirlers and Starbucks baristas...

But to that I, The Chuckmeister, now add "Abortion Careerism!"  We know how hard it must be for those overburdened Human Resources Department slugs to fill those corporate high-rise jobs that are currently going unfilled.  You know, the kind where the victi.., er I'm sorry, the employee is assigned to a cubicle, given a computer, and told to add the vargles to the preebles, and subtract the furnigles from 8:00 to 5:00, M - F, with a 15 minute break morning and afternoon.  Forever.  And wear a mask.  Maybe a gold watch when you depart.  Unless nobody's wearing watches by then.  And please God, don't get sick or "preggers" in the meantime.  

Er, forget that God part...

These are the jobs most normally filled by college-educated single women on their way up the "corporate ladder" to middle management as an Asst. Deputy Preebles Brand Manager, or something, and a (not so) nice pension.  And that's just fine with the corporations.  Single career women are cheaper to hire, cheaper to insure, cheaper to pay, and don't need those annoying days off to take care of "family business," nomsayin?  So any threat to the status quo, like a flood of babies to take time off to nurse, and add to insurance polices, is to be avoided at all costs.  So with the new ruling by SCOTUS on "Roe," abortion is or will soon be illegal in half the country.  

(R)oe is them...

Ah, but Voila!  There just might be a silver lining in all of this turmoil.  Some corps are now deciding to add "reproductive rights" to their benefit packages.  That's another of those Gubmint-speak phrases like "undocumented Uninvited Visitor" instead of "Frggin' Illegal Alien."  And it means they will pay some or all the costs of shipping their pregnant serfs off to a distant state so they can get an abor..., er, a "necessary medical procedure" if they happen to toil in one of those awful "Red" states.  If it involves the taking of an unwanted and nascent life, we'll just call it "reproductive rights."

You see how manhandling the language, throttling it to within an inch of its life, can help to change peoples' perspectives?

No discussion, BTW, about providing a stipend or a subsidy for their min-wage workers who might decide to keep that mass of protoplasm.  To start and provide for a family.  The absolute bedrock of our civilization.  Nope, no stipend, to put it simply, for life...  Only to take a midnight plane to Vegas so they can climb up into the chair, spread their legs, "fix" the problem, do a little gambling, and be back at work on Monday, 8:00 a.m. sharp!  I'm guessing the casinos might even fork over a special corporate package!

How responsive to their shareholders!

And speaking of their shareholders, here are just a few of the corporations which have so far offered to pony up for out-of-pocket costs to end the "affliction" of unwanted pregnancies:

   -   Dick's Sporting Goods is offering to pay up to $4,000 in travel expenses for their "birthing people" to go find an abortion out of state.  And please come back soon and get back to work.  Dick misses you, and your cubicle misses you...  

   -   Amazon is right alongside Dick.  Not literally.  Bezos has Laura.  Anyhoo, $4,000 for each employee.  Seems to me you could carefully arrange each pregnancy to coincide with the best beach weather here in Taxifornia.  Too big to fail, too big to care, I say.  I can see it all now; some smart babe working in the Pumpkin Center, MO Amazon distribution center (there might be one!) will turn her min-wage job into two all expense-paid trips a year to our most exotic locations (the beaches are in RED states, remember!) for not observing proper birth control measures.  And oh yeah, the ACLU will dare Amazon to stop paying her.  And the tens of thousands like her.  Sort of like with guns.  Don't blame to shooter, blame the weapon.  Don't blame the woman's complete failure to utilize effective birth control measures, just blame the state.

BTW, many of them can't even define "woman," including our newest Supreme Court Justice, so there's that...

   -   Starbucks is also agreeing to cover costs for their baristas to travel out of state for an abortion.  Jeeezus!  How profitable is a cup of coffee when Starbucks can pay $4,000 to keep a $15.00 an hour barkeep protoplasm-free? 

   -   Alaska Airlines.  Well, duh!  They've got the planes already, remember?  They've got a head start with virtue signaling.  That's sorta' not fair, right?  

   -   Yelp!  I'm guessing it's just to keep them from getting any bad reviews.  From their own staff.  They're being held hostage.  It's the Helsinki Syndrome, I'm guessing...

   -   Levi, Strauss, Inc.  There must be something in the foggy air out there in San Francisco.  Something that causes everyone who lives there to become raving, screaming Left-wing, wild-ass nutcases who think hopping over piles of sh*t to go out and get yourself a $75.00 kale salad lunch is somehow okay.  So much so that even a maker of jeans has to weigh in.  I think there should be a law that corps must move out of SFO for at least one year out of every ten in order to achieve "equity."  And keep your head on straight.  Either that or just shut the Hell up about politics.

   -   Tesla, Inc.  Mr. Musk has been married three times and has TEN children, some of whom continue to admit to their birth gender.  And he just had twins the other day with some errant executive at SpaceX.  (Didja' hear about the guy who tripped and fell into his secretary?  Heh, heh...).  So what he does with his money is his bizz.  (Especially if he buys Twitter!). 

   -   Uber, Inc.  They'll drive you to your abortion.

   -   Lyft, Inc.  So will they.  But they'll get you there faster!

(Maybe they'll have a colossal wreck and cause a yuuuuuge pileup and keep folks from getting to their protests!)

   -   And lastly, for now, but there will surely be more later (the list of companies offering to pony up for abortions is now up to 95!) is Disney, Inc.  They've lost more than 53% of their stock value waging a "grooming" war with FL Gov. Ron DeSantis.  That works out to a stunning $103 Billion Dollars.  They decided to insert themselves into this kerfuffle, and Mickey's pockets are now a little more bare.  Let's see if Disney CEO Bob Chapek still has his job at this time next year.

(BTW, Disney could have built 20 shiny new theme parks for the amount of money they've pissed away in this needless and wasteful show of "wokeness...")

Joe O'Biden is now threatening to build abortion centers on Federal land (!).  He's just signed an Executive Order making permanent some jibberish designed to placate his Progressive base.  In other words, since he can't do anything, he's making permanent the already obvious.  Or how about a nice, new Planned Parenthood abortion center next to that Indian casino near you?  And some dufus Left-wing doctor is suggesting floating abortion centers just off the 12 mile coastline of Mississippi/Alabama!  Sort of an "f-you" from the O'Biden supporters to our Conservative friends.  

And then there's the war over morning-after abortion pills.  Will the "Red" states make them illegal?  And how?  Will there be a guy at the post office looking over the incoming mail?  And will they be sold by a guy in a trench coat in back alleys outside your local high school?  And when, exactly, will these same corporations begin to one-up each other in an effort to pirate the others' employees?  When will the $4,000 in travel reimbursement become an offer of $5,000?  Or $6,000?  Or actually drive away employees who also happen to be - horror of horrors - "mothers?"  Or even just plain ol' Conservatives?  You know they do exist!  

I should add about here, I think they're so friggin' eaten up with the raging dumbass that they just might.

It would seem to me that there's really simply solution to all of this "sturm und drang" going around.  Ready?  

Turn off the "news" you've been watching if you're being lied to and learn that the Supreme Court has returned the awesome power to rule over women's lives to the various states for decisions on abortion to be made by you, the voters.  And if you don't like your state's abortion laws, vote with your feet!  

And for those women who've been using Planned Parenthood's abortions for birth control, they might now want to think about getting birth control pills.  They're only $9.95 a month, and they're free from many sources if the woman cannot afford to pay.

And yes, I said "woman."

Maybe birth control pills should be dropped out of Gubmint helicopters over our Deep Blue Inner Cities like rock candy in an effort to stop this "epidemic" of unnecessary and unwanted and horrific abortions.  Some 63,000.000 of them as of now!  Nothing else has seemed to work...

P.S.  Be sure to remember all of these above corporations the next time you go out shopping.  Remember also, you vote with both your feet AND your pocketbook...