The 2022 Chuckmeister Voters Guide...

I just got my new Taxifornia voters guide in the mail.

Psshaww!!!

That's pronounced "pisshawww," btw.

I, The Chuckmeister, have been approached on numerous occasions of late with queries about how to vote in our upcoming election.  For some strange reason.  So I, The Chuckmeister, have responded by creating my very own "Chuckmeister's 2022 Voters Guide."  Just a few simple questions will let you know exactly how to vote.  Ready?  Here goes...

1.     If you believe that ancient Egyptians, who possessed neither beasts of burden nor iron tools nor the wheel, could have stacked some 2.8 million limestone blocks, each weighing some 2.5 tons, to a height of more than 485 feet, 4,500 years ago, all by their lonesome, you should vote Democrat.*

2.     If you know owning and using a firearm is our absolute Constitutional Right as free Americans, that's with a large "R," yet half our states are doing their best to trample upon them, you should vote Republican.

3.     If you believe that buying cars from a vending machine, sight-unseen, without a test drive, trading good money for them across the Internet, to some slick bozo, is a-okay (wha...?), you should definitely vote Democrat.

4.     If you believe that it's somehow okay to spend more than $3.6 Billion Dollars defending Ukraine's 1,261 mile border from aggression from a single foreign power, with another $33 Billion requested from Congress to continue that fight, while simultaneously finding no apparent contradiction in only requesting a budget of $8 Billion to run our entire bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement, including protecting our 1,761 mile border, with proof of encroachment by citizens of 153 countries so far in 2022, you simply must vote Democrat.  

5.     If you believe that you're better equipped to decide what to do with the money you earn than the Gubmint, vote Republican, straight ticket.

6.     If you think teaching kindergartners about transgenderism is a-okay, and that anyone who disagrees with you is a racist, a homophobe, a misogynist, and most likely a capitalist, fur God's sake, you vote Democrat.  Early and often.

7.     If the only reason you still live in Taxifornia is because your job or your family keeps you here, and that you'd bolt in a minute if you could, you're a Republican voter.  All day.

8.     If you believe there are 57 genders, but can only name two, vote Democrat.  They need you.

Now then, this is a simple Guide, but one that should separate the wolf from the sheeple.  No need to thank me.  It's why God put me here...   

*     I am the master of the long-ish, but enormously informative sentence.  So don't bitch.  It's free.