"Sniper" Football...

I just read that one Mr. Colin Kaepernick, famed civil rights crusader, has stated to NFL League owners that they need to give him another tryout as he, "...can help them win."

That caused me to recall exactly why I enlisted in the U. S. Army to become a sniper way back when.  What does one have to do with the other, you might ask?  Read on, faithful Patriot...

I've long thought that today's professional football is strangled by myriad rules and regulations that prevent the athletes they pay $Tens of Million of Dollars a year to do...from doing.  A bunch of folks in striped shirts are paid to interpret a rule book the size of Manhattan for a play unfolding in real time, in a tenth of a second, while the world looks on.  And they frequently screw the pooch.    

And when THAT call is questionable, they refer the whole thing to their New York Headquarters so they can ruminate on it.  While the whole world looks on...

Any wonder why pro football viewership has been tanking of late?

So what's my solution to this problem, as a retired professional problem solver?  Here 'tis...

"Sniper" Football.

What's that you say, Mr. Chuckmeister?  I noticed that there's only about 1,700 pro football players, in total.  That doesn't seem like a lot, now does it?  I think we should sort of open up pro football so more up and coming players can play, don't you!  And how we do that is we place a sniper at each end of the stadia, high up in the stands, with the very latest in hi-tech rifles and scopes.  And read up now, each sniper gets one shot, per half.  He can choose to take out any of the opposing players, except the quarterbacks.  They're protected, until overtime at least.

After conferring with the coaches and staff, the sniper pops a player, and they drag his lifeless body off the field.  And voila!  They bring up a player from the minor league to replace him!  Think of it!  Byron Donald, L. A. Ram's No. 99, is being paid $80 Million Dollars to destroy the opposing quarterback.  I'm guessing he'd be toast by the end of the first half!  Imagine how many other folks could play that spot if Donald would just, ahem, "move aside."  By my reconning, another couple of thousand young, bright, capable football players could enter the ranks of the exalted!  The Pro League!

And Kaepernick?  Ahhh, Kaepernick.  If a team chooses to draft this miserable, elitist, entitled commie prick, after his having pocketed $50 Million San Franpoopco 49'er Dollars, and then soiled his knees while our National Anthem played, it should do so knowing all the other teams in the League will get an extra shot per half whenever Kaepernick takes the field.  Courtesy of the United States of America.

I mean, let's get back a little closer to what made ancient Rome and their Colosseum so very entertaining.  And "Sniper" Football could go a long way.  Do you think viewership would improve?  Think more folks would tune in?  

I do...