Official Chuckmeister Pronunciamento:

The White House has just issued another of its cute little Executive Orders commanding us plebes to once again wear masks.

For no apparent reason.

Other than to exert its control over our puny, insignificant little lives once again.  Either that or just because they can...

However, many of my friends and neighbors are confused over these new mask mandates.  They want to know exactly when to wear them, and when they can take them off.  And that's true especially because most of them know the flimsy, paper masks we're wearing do not work.  So, after copious research into the matter, I've decided to issue this Official Chuckmeister Pronunciamento, 'splaining to you, the undereducated masses, exactly what this new E.O. from our scrawny, rapidly-fading bag of bones really means:

    "YOU MUST HEREAFTER WEAR 

      YOUR MASK AT ALL TIMES!"

There.  That's it.  The Gummint needs folks to toe the line.  To choose sides.  To come out of the darkness and into the light.  To become some of the "cool kids" and wear that mask.  The only exception might be when you're actively engaged in sexual activity with a frequent partner (not to disparage an infrequent partner).  Or kissing your new born baby.  Perhaps.  Maybe.  Subject to change...  

But at all other times you must be masked.  You voted for all of this.  Learn to live with it...