Elderly Anarchy...

Hey old folks!  I dunno' about you, but I'm beginning to think we ought to start some semi-rioting!  And quasi-looting!  And engaging in some elderly anarchy!  Arson is, of course, optional...  

Oh, I know we're kind of "up there" in age, so full scale looting and burning and rioting like they're doing up there in Seattle and Portland and NYC takes waaaay too much effort and energy!   Waaaay more energy than we've got enough Ensure to fuel!  So I figured we should come up with a little plan that enables us, the folks who built this fine Country, to get our share of the booty.  

First of all, I've got to say that I am one surprised senior to note that breaking and entering and looting and stealing and even arson is no longer illegal.  If it were, they'd be arresting those nice folks in Lost Angeles and New Yawk City and Portland and Seattle.  Sometime or other when we weren't looking they changed the laws.  They must have, because what used to be the law is no longer followed.  So fellow Old Folks, we're among the very first to notice this, so we're in on the Ground Floor, so to speak.

The "ground floor" of the local department store!  Bwa ha ha ha!  

So what I'm proposing is that we sort of sneak in behind these nice "Black Lives Matters" Marxists who are rioting all thither and yon and grab a little stuff for ourselves, doncha' think?  I mean, we're being arrested for trying to attend church services.  Or go to the beach.  Or visit the gym.  Or get our hair cut.  Soooo, we might as well do something previously considered illegal, which obviously is illegal no longer.  And we've got to have something to do while waiting for our 4:00 p.m. early-evening seating at the local Sizzler.

I mean, think about it:  Things have gotten so far out of hand that we now have White people excoriating White people about their Whiteness!

So, church and the gym and the beach and a haircut is bad, rioting and looting and burning and anarchy is good.  So let's stop obeying the law, and start acting like our "preferred class" of "Antifa" and "Black Lives Matters" Marxists!  I mean, think about it!  If a bunch of riotous thugs can start breaking things, and setting fires, and stealing flat screen TV's, and nobody stops them, then breaking things becomes the norm.  So now that it's the norm, I want my share.  Just call me Norm!  Ha ha ha ha!  

Ha ha ha ha ha!

And I know you do too.  And if you live in California or New York, where there's no more cash bail, you're in luck.  Even if they catch us they have to immediately let us go!  Just like that guy in Glendora, Taxifornia, who stole three different cars between midnight on one day and noon the very next!  Three in 12 hours!  Isn't that some kind of new record?  This gives "catch and release" an entirely new meaning!

So this we know:  It's now no longer illegal to do those things which used to be legal.  Down is up and up is down.  It's Bizarro World, people!  Taxifornia is letting felons out of prison by the thousands!  It just let another 8,000 felons out of prison due to the Chinese Coronavirus, it said.  That's on top of the 64,000 last year!  So what do we have to worry about?  If we get caught, nada!  

BTW, if masks worked, why didn't the once-Golden State of California issue masks to its imprisoned felons instead of releasing them?  Yeah, why?

So I'm thinking we put together a little Club.  I'm thinking we call it the "Old Folks Grab and Dash Club."  Or the "Five Fingers Discount Club."  Or maybe the "Anarchy for Fun and Profit Club."  We fill a few camper vans with the elderly and head on off to the nearest "peaceful protest."  That's what the Democrats call riots these days.  Heh, heh.  And when the vandals start looting and burning and rioting, we'll sneak in right behind them when nobody's looking and pick up their leavings.  They get the big screen TV's, we get the smartphones.  They get the cases of liquor, we get a couple of six-packs.  You get the idea.  (We couldn't carry the cases of liquor anyway!)  Let's kind of make a sport of it!  Let's go forth knowing that it's no longer cool to sit at home and stew over events that one cannot control.  It's time to get in on the act!  We may have been too timid or scared to participate in those riots of the 60's and 70's, so we now another another chance!  Do your part to help America deconstruct, today!  

And remember, if you get caught, just tell the Fuzz, "Blue Lives Matter."  And, since you'll be the only one anywhere around on their side, they'll probably let you go...