A Meteor Strike? Really?

Now here's a good one, fellow Pilgrims!

Since you pay me (psychically) to search high and low (and left and right...mostly right) for stuff to give you pause (and maybe paws?), I conducted that exhaustive search, and have hit upon a story that will stop you in your tracks.

I've heard of "Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)," but this is ridiculous.  According to a poll just released by the University of Massassassachusetttts at Lowell, 64% of all voters there would "...rather see a giant meteor strike the Earth, extinguishing all human life," than to see Donald Trump reelected.  

The poll, conducted over the period January 28 - 31, also shows about half of all Independent voters would say the exactly same extreme thing.  

Now, I dunno' about you, but that's really, really TDS!  People up there in the Far North would rather die than have four more years of steady "winning."  Maybe, as The Donald says, they're just tired of that incessant winning.  Or, maybe these Democrats are just dumber than a bag of rocks.

But I repeat myself.  What would one expect?

So, as you would expect of me, I've decided to offer up a series of other questions the U of Mass could ask the next time it decides to conduct another poll.  Here goes...

  -     "Would you rather have a dozen leatherback sea turtles nibble on your feet for an hour, followed by a few killer whales dismembering you one appendage at a time, or vote for Donald Trump?"

  -     "Would you prefer to have a herd of thirsty Bactrian camels trample you to death on their way to the oasis, or vote for Donald Trump?"

  -     "Would you rather be forced to sit and listen to Whoopie and Joy sing old Hank Williams songs for an hour, off key, while you're tied to a chair and forced to listen, or vote for Donald Trump?"

  -     "Would you rather be attacked by a band of roving Gypsies and held ransom for a year, while living in a cave, devoid of sunlight, subsisting only on bread and a nice vitamin-fortified, designer water, or vote for Donald Trump."

  -     "Would you rather sit and watch San Fran Nan Pelosi pick her teeth for an hour and mumble to herself, or vote for Donald Trump?"

  -     "Would you prefer to be forced to listen to Jessuh Smollettttt explain to you in explicit detail why it really wasn't a hoax, really, for an entire week, non stop, or vote for Donald Trump."

  -     "Would you rather be forced to pick up human waste and discarded needles off the Streets of San Francisco for a week, with your bare hands, or vote for Donald Trump?"

  -     "Would you rather see Rush Limbaugh's cancer cured, or vote for Donald Trump."

  -     "Would you prefer to go broke, have your house repossessed, be divorced from your spouse, have your dog die and your car's engine throw a rod, or vote for Donald Trump?" 

  -     "Would you rather have the Supreme Court judge the 2nd Amendment sacrosanct, and then order AR-15's issued to every American over 21, or vote for Donald Trump?"

  -     "Would you prefer to have to hunt to find food to eat, using only a slingshot, at night, while blindfolded, or vote for Donald Trump?"

  -      And finally, "Would you rather have your Tesla filled to the brim with chocolate syrup, and then sanded with a garden rake, or vote for Donald Trump?"

You don't have to thank me, U of Mass, I do this in the spirit of congeniality and mutual respect.  And I hope goes swimmingly for you nice folks up there in the Granite State while awaiting that "meteor strike."