The drumbeat for Donald J. Trump, President of these here United States, to release his tax returns is becoming incessant!
On Tax Day the thongs of people were marching and chanting and fuming and fussing and parading and sign-waving and stamping their little feet, demanding that The Don Don cough up his returns! No doubt each and every one of these presumably nice folks were bought and paid for by commie billionaire Nazi convicted-felon and trouble-maker George Soros and his ilk, including MoveOn.org, MediaMatters.com, Snopes, com, Think Progress, Planned Parenthood, Americans for Stringing Up Conservatives Everywhere, Mothers Against Drunk Republicans, The Brady Campaign to Melt Down all Guns, Little Mikey Bloomberg and his Mothers for Eliminating the 2nd Amendment, and, of course, the Service Employees International Union and all of their tens of millions of $10 an hour workers.
Oh, and let's not forget the "alphabet networks," including CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, NPR, PBS and an untold number of left-wing "news" papers, which have given up on reporting the "news" and are simply banging the "Russians are controlling every Trump activity" drum 24/7.
These people just cannot abide the fact that The Trumpster is refusing to show us what he sent to those lefties at the IRS. I mean, Carter did it, and so has every single candidate for POTUS since then. Except The Donald. He says, no way, Jose. Oh wait... Is Jose still here? Wasn't he deported? Just askin'...
His excuse, he says, is that "they are under audit." Likely story, I say! There's no law that says you can't release your tax returns while they're under audit! So, there must be SOMETHING in those tax returns that The Trumpster doesn't want us, the American people, to see!
Maybe it's that he's been getting payola from Vlad Putin and the Russkie gummint! Can't be vodka. He doesn't drink. Maybe caviar! Or maybe he's a member of the Mafia and his returns are showing his take from gambling, prostitution and the drug trade! Or perhaps he's not really worth $10 Billion! Maybe its only a paltry $3 Billion, and that would mean he's not really rich, right! Or perhaps he's not been ponying up his share of donations to charities and he doesn't want us to know!
In any event, it MUST be bad or he would have willingly opened them up to scrutiny by the Democrat Party and the Lap Dog Media. Of course, He owns or controls more than 500 individual corporations, most of which are sub-chapter "S" entities. So reporting on the income and expenses of all of these entities, when any profit or loss from each of them passes directly through to Him, personally, and then collating the entire bunch, would be a monumental undertaking! But hey, that's no reason not to show us all how much money he's REALLY worth, is it?
We, The People, deserve to know, and by damn, we're gonna' find out!
So the Dems and their sycophants and the Dinosaur Media and Wiki Leaks and the Hollywierd Crowd and John Podesta and Hil(liar)y Clinton and San Fran Nan Pelosi and Senator Chuckie Schumer and Mikey Moore and Susan Sarandon and Babs Streisand and Ashley Judd and thousands of protesters, all dressed in black, and all rioting and looting and misbehaving to the max, have all been looking under every rock to try and locate The Donald's tax returns. But so far, no luck.
But I have a theory as to where they might be found. Yes, I, The Chuckmeister (I've said before that if The Donald can warrant a capital "T" in the "The," then I, The Chuckmeister, can warrant one as well!), think I know where they might be hiding. Ready? Here goes...
I think The Donald's income tax returns might be languishing under B. Hussein Obama's college transcripts! You know, his applications to attend Occidental College, and Columbia and Harvard Universities. And his requests for full-ride scholarships, and whether or not he received them. And remember, Grasshopper, Occidental only granted "full-rides" back then if you were a foreign national! So if Barry asked for and received a "ride," then he wasn't born in Hawaii, and wouldn't have been eligible to become POTUS. Seems to me the Media would have been interested in finding that out, wouldn't you? Ummm, I guess not...
And if he didn't get scholarships, how did he pay for college? He was a poor kid from a single-parent household, and was a less than stellar student, by his own recollection. His little book, "Dreams from my father," which he may or may not have written (probably not), tells us he spent most of his time while growing up in Honolulu doing MaryJoanna and cocaina along with his "Choom Gang" buddies and hustling old fat white guys.
Grades? According to his book, not so good. So what grades did he earn? Where are those transcripts? You know, the ones he had dozens of lawyers and spent tens of millions of dollars to keep secret from us? We know what grades "W" got, and Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton, and Ronnie Reagan, and every other POTUS back to Abe Lincoln. But Barry? Ummm, no. Biiiiiig secret, mon ami!
My thinking is these records are all hidden! And just maybe, The Donald's income tax returns are hiding with them!
Maybe the New York Times will launch an investigative reporting exercise to try and find both. You know, some of that there "journalism" we keep hearing about.
Or, alternatively, maybe those tax returns can be found resting comfortably under that elusive "hateful" video tape that a bunch of really nice Egyptians found distasteful enough to protest against a few years back. And then those nice folks in Benghazi, Libya followed that up with a bit of "protesting" at the American Embassy compound there. Remember? The one where they brought rocket propelled grenades and machine guns? Those fun-loving Libyans! They just luuuuuv to bring RPG's to little street gatherings!
And then these partiers killed three of our very best Special Operators and an ambassador? The one where they made a movie that proved they could have, and should have, been rescued, but weren't? That one?
The one that then-National Security Advisor Susan Rice went on all five Sunday morning talk shows to discuss? She did the "full Ginsburg" to explain to us that this "awful" video was to blame. And that we had arrested the poor fool who had made it, and that we were going to punish him to the max, remember?
Of course, appearing on the Sunday shows to discuss matters of State would have been the province of the Secretary of State, one Ms. Hillary Clinton, who was in New York that weekend, and could have, and should have, explained it all to us herself...but didn't. Maybe even SHE, infamous weaver of bald-faced lies, wasn't willing to try and sell this load of crap.
So maybe The Donald's tax records can be found alongside this video, and right next to Barry's college transcripts and grades. Maybe there's a special storage locker somewhere that specializes in hiding really special and important things like this.
But in the meantime I don't seem to recall marches and protests and chanting and screaming and shouting and placard-waving and demanding that Obama come up with all his documentation, do you? No left-wing celebrities screaming and shouting and demanding that Barry fork over the sort of stuff that every POTUS candidate all the way back to at least Harry Truman was required to provide.
Something to think about, right?