Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Some More of That Stuff I've Learned (Part Deux).

In follow-up to my most recent posting, same title, read by millions (well, not millions, but certainly tens), this is the second installment, which you've no doubt waited for with rapt anticipation.  And so, without further ado...

-  I've learned that Taxifornia issued 605,000 drivers' licenses to illegal aliens during calendar year 2015.  That constitutes nearly half of all licenses issued during that period.  Think of it, my friends, who live anywhere else; this dumbass state, run by commie pinko liberal weenies, has chosen to permit illegals to break in to our Country, and then legally apply for and receive legal drivers' licenses!  That's stunning, don't you think?  What sort of craziness is this?  What brain malfunction allows you to make an action by an illegal, legal?  I, for one, don't know.  But I find it perplexing, alarming, infuriating, embarrassing and just plain stupid.  You too?  In the meantime, if you live here in CA, and you need to go to the DMV (perish the thought!), and you have to wait in line behind dozens of illegals in order to get your license renewed, while you're paying the salaries of the dimbulbs behind the counter via your taxes, you just have to be steaming!  

-  I've learned that Chicago's O'Hare International Airport has 300 active duty policemen.  They are just like other Chi-Town cops, with one fairly major difference; they aren't allowed to carry weapons.  And so, when confronted with an "active shooter" scenario, they're instructed to "run and hide." Really?  I kid you not.  Cops being told to run and hide? What sort of Bizzarro World are we living in?

-  I've learned that honey is the only food that stays edible virtually forever.  Ancient earthenware jars have been found in 4,000 year old Middle Eastern shipwrecks on the bottom of the ocean that are absolutely pristine, and filled with completely edible, tasty honey.  That's pretty amazing stuff, right?

-  I've learned that Arch Coal, Inc., has just filed for bankruptcy.  Yes folks, Arch, America's second largest coal mining company, just pulled the plug due to $4.5 Billion in debt.  And why would they need the protection of going BK? Because of Barry and his Sycophants' War on Coal.  Half of America's coal mines are now shuttered, and more than 200,000 coal miners in 11 of our states are out of work, and most likely, permanently.  The remaining 150,000 are due to be furloughed when coal is finally declared dead.  Oh yeah, did you know that fully half of our electricity generating plants rely on coal for their power?  Do we have a replacement for coal to keep our lights on?  No, we don't. Oh, we have solar and wind, but they are much, much, much more costly than coal.  And far, far less predictable in terms of their availability and adequacy.  So, your electric bill is going way, way up!  You elected this bozo!  Pay up!

-  I've learned that when you hire a socialist, you get socialism.  Doubt me?  Just read the above and realize what we got when we elected Obama.

-  I've learned that gas prices nationally are now below $2.00 per gallon!  And I've learned you're happy about that.  But should you be?  I think not.  Why?  Because the only reason you can fill your tank so cheaply is because the thieves at OPEC have their spigots wide open in an effort to crush our fracking industry in its infancy.  It's now known that we have more oil hiding in the tar sands in our northwestern states and Canada than in all of the Middle East.  Stunning and welcome news!  

From a high of as much as $150 per barrel just a few years back, we're now down to below $35.00.  That means it's no longer economically feasible to make usable oil out of the tar sands in Canada or North Dakota and surrounding states. And that's caused those companies involved in fracking (hydraulic fracturing - look it up) to shut down and lay off their workers.  In my opinion those OPEC countries will soon squeeze down their production when our fracking boom has gone bust, and the companies who were involved in it no longer represent a threat.  Gas prices at the pump will then shoot back up faster than a hooker's skirt.  But will there then be a resurgence in tar sands fracking in the U.S.?  Me thinks not, my friends. And that's a very bad thing for America.  

Of course, here in the once-Golden State, gas prices are just below $3.00 per gallon! Why so high?  Because the weenies in Sacramento impose on us the very highest gas taxes in America.  Aren't you proud you live somewhere else?  

-  I've learned that the way Black moms choose names for their newborns is really quite inventive.  I have it on good authority that they bring a brown paper bag filled with consonants and vowels to the hospital with them. Once the baby pops out, and they discover whether it's a boy or a girl, they then shake up the bag and start taking out letters, one at a time, until they find a name that's acceptable.  That's how they get names like Quintonio and Cleanthony and Jaluma and Sequisha and Dealumoeba.   And, my own personal favorite, Dabrickashaw (actual first name of a pro football player, so don't think I made these names up!).  

-  I've learned that if a Conservative doesn't want a gun, he doesn't buy one.  But if a Liberal doesn't want a gun, he not only doesn't buy one, he tries to get laws passed so that nobody can have a gun, anywhere, ever!  And with more than 23,000 anti-gun laws on the books here in America already, God knows what we really need are some more of those stupid, repetitive, ineffectual, costly and ineffective laws.

-  I've learned that, only three days after our Lecturer-in-Chief told us during his (hopefully) last State of the Union address that the U.S. economy is strong, Wal-Mart, our largest private employer and the biggest corporation in the world, with more than 2.2 million workers, just announced its intent to close 269 stores and put 10,000 workers out of a job.  Hmmmm.

-  I've learned that B. Hussein Obama has traveled on our dime (many of them, in fact) to Hawaii over Christmas for the past eight years.  And I've learned the cost of operating that specially-modified airplane known as Air Force One is $206,355 per hour!  When you add in the cost of operating the duplicate 747 that flies along behind (got to have a spare, you know!), plus all the vehicles necessary to transport the POTUS and his fam, and his sycophants, numbering in the hundreds, plus all the hotel rooms and meals, each Hawaiian vacation has cost you and me, America's taxpayers, over $5,000,000 each!  Obama has taken 43 such vacations since being immaculated, short and long, costing us more than $70 Million Dollars!  The average American family spends just over $4,700 on Christmas, to include presents and meals and travel.  Think maybe the Obama's are a bit out of touch?  Or, maybe they just think they deserve it...

-  I've learned that "Taco Cat" spelled backwards is..."Taco Cat."

-  I've learned that Debbie Washerwoman-Schultz, the fembot commie Congressweenie from south Florida, who also serves as the Official House Madam for the DNC, failed once again in her efforts to completely hide the Democrat Debate from the American people this past Sunday.  Yes, my friends, even though it was held opposite an important football playoff game, on MLK holiday weekend, upwards of three hundred people actually stumbled upon it.  By accident, no doubt.  So, I have it on good authority that the next debate, featuring Hil(liar)y Clinton, Little Marty O'Malley and America's socialist grandpa Bernie Sanders, will be held in a Boys and Girls Club basement in Cincinnati, OH at 3:00 a.m. on an unannounced upcoming Tuesday, and televised on a closed-circuit camera, viewable only on pay-per-view.  There. That ought to prevent anyone from noticing that the Party of the People is represented by old, white, rich, dumb and mouthy people.

-  I've learned that Jada Pinkett-Smith, the wife of actor Will Smith, has just announced that she is soooo pissed that she will not attend the annual Oscar get-together.  She's mad, I guess, that Will wasn't nominated for his role in "Concussion."  Too bad.  Nor, I've learned, will Spike Lee. They're going to boycott because for the second year in a row, no Black actors have been nominated for the little statue. Hmmmmm.  Perhaps Black folks should start their own annual entertainment award show to compete with the "White" Oscars.  Oh wait!  They have!  It's called the BET Black Entertainment Awards Show!  Maybe the way to fix this whole kerfuffle is simply to stop hiring Blacks for roles in White-produced movies, kind of like the Blacks do for Black-produced movies. Then, there would be no need to boycott. Everyone would be happy.  "Happy, happy, happy," as Papa Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame would say.  

As for me, I'm outraged!  And so, in solidarity with my Black brothers and sisters everywhere, I also will not be attending the Oscars this year!  Nor will I be watching it on TV!  Nor retweeting any of the really important stuff (heh, heh) that comes out of it! You White folks just cannot expect to get away with continually disregarding all 'dem Black folk.  I am offended!  How 'bout you?  Remember, Black Lies Matter!

That's enough for now, kiddies.  Hang tough, though, more to come, and soon!

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