Monday, January 4, 2016
New Year's Resolutions (Sorry They're Late!).
Somehow I forgot to write down my New Year's resolutions and share them with my tens and tens of rabid followers.
So, my friends, and you are my friends, I've given this many minutes of thought, and I'm now prepared to list for you my resolutions for the coming year. So, here goes...
#1: I resolve to gain 15 pounds.
#2: I resolve to drink more. And enjoy it more.
#3: I resolve to resume smoking.
#4: I resolve to buy lots more ammunition, believing as I do
that I (we) will soon need it.
#5: I resolve to drive even faster, so that the incessant
"beeping" from my radar detector is not in vain.
#6: I resolve to sneer and fume and fuss even more every
time our Fearful Leader shows his smirking,
condecending face on my TV set. Which, as it turns
out, is only on days ending in "Y."
#7: I resolve to enjoy jogging, weight lifting, yoga, barre and
trips to the gym, but only when undertaken by someone
#8: I resolve to stop feeling guilty about taking afternoon
naps, and start trying my best to have them accepted as
an Olympic Sport!
From me and mine to you and yours, have a Very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous Two Thousand Sixteen!