Closing GITMO: Obama's Preachments vs. the Truth...

Our Community Organizer POTUS is extremely fond of lecturing us on virtually everything, but especially on why it would be a very good idea to close GITMO.  And for those who've been living in a dumpster behind the local Wal-Mart, GITMO stands for the Guantanamo Naval Base, Cuba. But to commie pinko dumbass liberal weenies, GITMO stands for "Chimpy McBushhitler's Guantanamo Prison where really nice Muslim folks who have done not a thing at all to us are kept for years against their will." 

Obama tells us that we can't keep it open because it "costs too much."  Whoa!  Is this the very first time in American history when a Democrat worried about what something cost?  This, the guy who's spent more than $40 Million of our hard-earned tax money on teeny little vacations to Hawaii and Martha's Vineyard?  Costs too much?  Really!

He also tells us whenever he thinks we might be listening that GITMO also offers up a strong inducement for would-be terrorists across our fruited plain to join the cause and start beheading mommies and daddies everywhere.  Hmmm...

Well children, let me, The Chuckmeister, provide you with the truth on each of these two issues.  I can.  POTUS won't. So what else is new?  Here goes:

GITMO sits on the far easternmost tip of Cuba, some 400 miles south of Miami.  We won it as a consequence of the Spanish-American War in 1903.  You'll recall Teddy Roosevelt and his Rough Riders charging up San Juan Hill? No?  I guess we really don't teach history in our schools any more.  

Anyway, we took it as the spoils of war and put a nice neat Naval base upon its 45 square miles.  It is our oldest overseas Naval base.  It hosts nearly 9,500 Navy and Army personnel, and hundreds more Department of the Navy Civilians and other civilian contractors.  It also employs more than 6,000 Cubans who show up every morning to clean toilets and sweep the floors on the more than 650 buildings located there.  I guess the Castros enjoy collecting all that filthy lucre from us capitalists via the sweat of the brow of their poor countrymen.  They're just a bit "more equal," don't you know.

Oh yeah, it also features a nice, clean, neat jail.  But it offers much more than a jail. More on that later.

Like other military installations GITMO offers many conveniences to those stationed there.  It has a bowling alley, an outdoor movie theater and several chain fast food joints, including a Burger King, a KFC, a Subway, a McDonalds, a Dairy Queen and a Baskin-Robbins.  In short, GITMO is an important forward operating base we need to monitor activities throughout the Caribbean Sea.  It was essential during Dubya Dubya Deux to keep track of enemy subs, and still is.

Oh yeah, that jail thing.  All of a sudden 9/11 happened.  The Muslim terrorist jihadist murdering thugs flew a couple of hijacked commercial jets into our Twin Towers and killed 3,000 of our people.  We started collecting bad guys on the battlefields of the Middle East.  We needed someplace to put them that wasn't on U.S. soil.  Were they to set foot here, my friends, they would automatically earn the rights and privileges of our Constitution...the same Constitution they abhor.  That same "wet foot, dry foot" thing that the Cubans are endowed with when they set sail on rickety little boats and try to make their way to Miami.  They would get the Bill of Rights to beat us up with. 

So our guys put a nice, new, shiny jail on GITMO.  One, it appears, that's equipped with prayer rugs, arrows pointing toward Mecca so they can pray to their little jihist hearts' content, halal grub, not a pig in sight and plenty of lawyers and interpreters and soccer fields and Korans so they can stay entertained.  All-in-all, I'd say it's a major improvement over wherever they came from.  Except, our liberal minions are shocked that we would actually consider them terrorists and prisoners instead of simply lawbreakers. They want these goat-lovers accorded Constitutional privileges and given trials in downtown Manhattan.  I'm not a big fan of Islamic terrorists.  I'm also not a big fan of commie liberal fools.

Back to GITMO.

So we build this prison.  In 2002.  A full year after 9/11.  So tell me, liberal weenies, how did a prison in GITMO built a full year after 9/11, provide the impetus for 9/11?  It didn't.  Case closed.

And now to the cost of our nice, shiny, clean jail on GITMO. Our Golfer-in-Chief tells us that each of the prisoners on GITMO costs us more than $One Million Dollars a year to maintain.  He arrives at this figure by simply dividing the total amount it costs to run GITMO - the entire Naval base - by the number of prisoners we keep behind bars there.  So, the more prisoners, the less cost per prisoner. And the fewer the number of prisoners, the more they each cost!  So, the more prisoners Barry ships out on a Friday evening, under cover of darkness, while nobody's looking, after the evening papers have hit the newsstands, to some toilet of a Middle Eastern country, the more each remaining GITMO prisoner costs us!  You see how that works?

Let's net this out:  It costs just over $600,000,000 (Six Hundred Million) a year to operate GITMO.  Time was we had more than 700 murdering thugs at GITMO, including the guy who planned 9/11 and Bin Ladin's driver.  Using Barry's accounting, that would have meant just under a Mil apiece. We're down to just over 100 prisoners. Does that mean it costs $6 Million a Year for each to keep imprisoned? To Barry, it does.  To the people who watch MSPMS, it does. To the nincompoops who read the NY Slimes, it does.

Imagine when he gets us down to one miserable lying murdering jihadist killer; that means that blemish on the butt of humanity will cost us Six Hundred Million Dollars! Will that be costly enough for the Lap Dog Media to demand that GITMO be closed? Me thinks it will...

So, my friends, and you are my friends, stop watching MSPMS and reading the NY Slimes and start researching THE TRUTH for a change, and learn what's actually happening.  Don't believe the bile that spewing from the sniveling lips of the liberal Lap Dog Media.  They'll mislead you just like they've misled so many once-loyal Americans.  

There.  That should do it!  Now on to some other Earth-shattering problem to solve...