Sunday, March 22, 2015

"GITMO," for the Low Information Voter

"Gitmo."  For everyone who hasn't been living in a dumpster behind the local Wal-Mart, Gitmo is shorthand for Guantanamo Bay. Yeah, I know, Gitmo is a jail.  But it's so much, much more.  Let's investigate together...

I overheard a debate the other day between two uber-lefty "Progressives."  One told the other that Barry O'Bama should have kept his promise and closed Gitmo on his first day in office.  The other guy stated that he was willing to forgive Barry for telling yet another lie (they pile up, don't they?), but wanted him to go ahead and close it today. And, he emphasized, today!  After all, he said, it's just a prison for really nice, completely misunderstood Muslims.  And we all know that Islam is a really nice, completely misunderstood religion, right?  And having Gitmo open serves to make those nice, completely misunderstood Muslims want to strap bombs to themselves and blow up shopping malls.  So, they continued arguing, loudly, never actually reaching agreement on this thorny issue.  They do that, those lefties.

Buuuuut, my friends, Gitmo is quite a bit more than a prison for terrorists.   It's a 45 square-mile Navy base located on the southeastern tip of Cuba, some 400 miles from Miami.  It was carved out of Cuba as a result of our helping them win independence from Spain in the Spanish-American war in 1903.  Remember reading about Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders leading the charge up San Juan Hill?  Oh, wait.  I'm sorry.  That's when they actually taught history in school.  It was first leased for the grand old sum of $2,000 a year until 1934 when the rates jumped up to a whopping $4,085.00 per annum.  I'm guessing the Cubans needed a bump in income.

Gitmo is our oldest overseas Naval base and the key to security in the Caribbean.  It was a big deal during WW2, as it served as our forward observatory for German sub activity. Since 1959 the Castro Gummint has protested loudly about our continued presence on their soil. They say it is illegal under international law and that we imposed it upon them by force. Yeah, by force.  We kicked out the Spaniards, by force, and saved the Cubans' bacon. Up until recently we've simply ignored the bleatings of the Cubans. Now, with Barry and and his Sycophants (good name for a rock band, right?) in charge, we're starting to make noises like we're going to give it back.   I wouldn't put it past our Community Organizer-in-Chief to do just that.  Libbies give stuff back they shouldn't be giving back.  That's what they do.  Remember when Jimmuh Carter gave back the Panama Canal?  Don't remember that? We're back to that no history taught in school again...

Like I said earlier, Gitmo is quite a bit more than a jail.  It features 656 buildings, a bowling alley, an outdoor movie theater and several chain fast food joints, including a Subway, a KFC, an A and W, a Baskin-Robbins and a Mickey D's.  It also houses 9,500 active-duty U.S. Army soldiers and Marines.  It also employs more than 6,000 Cubans who travel to and from each day to do the military's scut work.  Funny how Cuba's commie leaders will happily trade their serfs' labor for hard U.S. currency.  

Then, all of a sudden, 9/11 happened.  The bad guys flew commercial jets into the World Trade Center and killed more than 3,000 of our people.  We started capturing jihadist fascist Islamic murdering goat-loving terrorists on the battlefields of Iraq, Syria, Yemen and Afghanistan.  We needed someplace to put them that would keep us safe from them and also keep us from having to bestow Constitutional privileges upon their killer selves.  Remember, they set foot on American soil and they get American civil rights.  Gitmo was an enlightened answer.  

So, in 2002 we built a prison.  We called it a "detention center," but it's a really good prison.  A prison where the terrorists get three really good hots and a lot more than a cot. They get world-class medical care.  Plenty of exercise. Color TVs and DVDs.  Lots of nice, shiny Korans.  A soccer field. Great civilian lawyers.  And the chance to bow to Mecca five times a day without interruption.  We parked several hundred "detainees" there.  We interrogated them, but we didn't torture them.  Not even a little bit.  No water boarding allowed.  In short, we treated them a whole lot better then they treated - and treat - us.  

So Gitmo is a Naval base that happens to have within it a prison for terrorists we don't want to bring to the U.S.  But Barry continues to tell those of us who care to listen that our operating this prison incites Muslims to embrace terrorism. Somebody ought to ask our Vacationer-in-Chief if that's so, why did they bring down the World Trade Center in 2001? We didn't build the prison until 2002!  

It seems to me they were plenty pissed at us long before we built the Gitmo detention center.  And they'll probably be plenty pissed at us long after Barry or somebody else closes it.  But even after it's closed, the Gitmo Naval Base will be operating just as it has for more than a century.

So, to the two lefties who were arguing the other day about just how "Progressive" they ought to be, Gitmo doesn't cost $1.4 Million per prisoner like Mr. O'Bama tells us (another lie?  Yes, children, it is).  He's craftily derived that number by dividing the total cost of operating Gitmo as a Naval Base by the dwindling number of Islamic fascist killer terrorists that remain.  Thus, the fewer the terrorists, the more it costs.  By the time our Health Insurance Salesman-in-Chief gets it down to one, that lone miserable killer will cost us about $600 Million a year to house, feed and clothe.

You see how low information, dumbass voters can be hoodwinked by unscrupulous narcissistic manipulative lying deceitful politicians?  I thought you would...

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