Wednesday, October 23, 2013


We are told by the White House spin machine, and by the Dinosaur, Sycophantic, Dead-Tree Media, that the myriad Titanic problems being experienced with the roll out of the new Obamacare website is due to "glitches."

Now I don't know about you, but I'm guessing one of the hundreds of trolls who inhabit the bowels of the WH got a free two-for-one coupon to Burger King for coming up with that adjective.  Glitches.  And doesn't it make you wonder how many other adjectives they tried and rejected before landing upon glitches?  How about, oh, say, "issues?"  Or maybe "roadblocks?"  Or "speed bumps?"  Or "red flags? " Or how about "warning signs?"  Or even good old "problems?"  You get the idea.  

Think about it; three and one-half years to put it together, over $600,000,000 to develop it, more than 5,000,000 lines of code, in excess of 55 firms on the Government payroll to make it happen, all associated with those who've donated millions to Oblamo and his goons, by the way, and it crashes and burns when a few people actually try to use it to sign up.  Hello!  Wasn't it the good ol' Republicans who lobbied hard, as in shutting down the Gummint, to put this sucker on hold because it wasn't ready for the Center Ring?  Ummm, yes I do believe it was. 

That price, by the way, was more than all the money spent to develop Apple, Google, EBay, Twitter, Instagram, Amazon and Bing, together (and probably McDonalds, Budweiser, Cheerios and Preparation H).  And yet, any one of them can process more than a billion hits a day without crashing!

And the result?  We don't know.  The White House won't tell us.  Oh, they say that "hundreds of thousands have visited it," and "thousands have signed up."  But they won't tell us exactly how many.  Could that be because they're embarrassed at how few, or because they simply don't know, because the system may not be capable of telling them?  And I don't know about you, but, even though they're both bad, I'm thinking the latter is worse, by far.

So, you've got to buy insurance from this program by early next year, or you'll be fined.  Fined by one of the 16,000 new agents hired by the IRS to enforce this behemoth, no less.  This is the very first time in the history of America when you're told - forced - to buy something from a third-party or pay a fine.  And yet, it's plagued with "glitches."  Glitches!  If the core problems with this turkey is due to glitches, then I have a few other examples from history that could be the result of glitches as well...

-  Other than that glitch in Pearl Harbor, Mr. Roosevelt, how was your Christmas?

-  With exception of your husband's trip to the Little Big Horn, Mrs. Custer, would you describe that glitch in your relationship with Native Americans to be serious?

- Except for that storm glitch thing, Mr. Lagassi, how do you like living in New Orleans?

-  Other than that iceberg fender-bender glitch, Ms. Molly Brown, how did you enjoy your cruise across the ocean?

-  With exception of that 1906 glitch while you were in high school, Ms. Pelosi, how do you like living in San Francisco?

And finally,

-  Other than that little glitch, Mrs. Lincoln, how  did you like the play?

If Obamacare is a glitch, then the foregoing natural - and man-made - disasters are glitches also.  They weren't fixed with time.  I'm guessing this one won't be either...


  1. Hey, Chuckmeister! It took me a minute or two after reading your recent posting to finally notice your self description and realize that your column is humor! I could hardly stop laughing where you accused the President and his administration of graft and corruption by hiring “all associated with those who've donated millions to Oblamo and his goons.” While it would be nice to have a few factual identities to pass on to the authorities for prosecution, I suppose you just ran out of space. And believe me when I say your comparisons of the death of more than 2,400 at Pearl Harbor, hundreds at Custer’s last stand, 1,400 deaths with the sinking of the Titanic, 700 or more deaths at the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, and the assassination of President Lincoln, with the failure of a computer program to run properly, well, that was just knee slapping hilarity! You sir, cheapen and demean the lives that were lost in all of the cited cases, and you, as a Veteran, should be ashamed of having done so. Had you done your homework, you would find plenty of computer comparisons in history to have cited.

  2. Hey, Mr. Blackman, you got me. Yes, it's true. This is a humor blog. But it's also a political reality column, where I opine on matters of import to me, and hopefully to folks like you, who prove to often be devoid of facts. Or humor. So here goes my response. Are you ready? Good.

    As for who donated to Oblamo's campaign, let's just mention he prime contractor; CGI International. Their Senior V.P. was a classmate of Michelle Obama's. And she donated to The One. Could it be that this had something to do with the no-bid award of her company's contract? You think?

    There are others. Do you need chapter and verse? Do you?

    And me thinks that had Mr. Roooooosevelt gotten four years notice that Admiral Nokishimu Kowabunkah had the intent to launch a full-blown raid on Honoruru, and kill, as you say, 2,400 of our brave soldiers and sailors, he would have, no doubt, made some arrangements to prevent that from occurring. Kind of like, say, if Oblamo had used the four years in the run-up to the laughable launch of the Oblamocare website to make sure that it worked, given that he blew nearly ONE BILLION OF OUR DOLLARS TRYING TO MAKE IT FUNCTON, he perhaps would have. Unless, of course, unless he giveth not a shitake.

    And yes, Mr. Blackman, I'm guessing had the White Star Lines gotten an inkling four years prior that that naughty little iceberg planned to be in the shipping lane that fateful day following the Titanic's launch, they would have made alternate arrangements for leaving the docks and heading west. Maybe a nice visit to a pub for some shepard's pie and a pint and a departure a day to two later.

    And, oh by the way, I'm also thinking that, had Nancy Pelosi conferred with her psychic and learned four years in advance that the Great San Fran Shaker was imminent, she would have called Harvey Milk's grandfather and arranged for the Movers and Shakers (pun intended) of Wierdtown Society to leave town for a few days.

    And had Colonel Custer gotten an puff of smoke with the news four years early that a thousand Indians planned to visit Greasy Grass and send him off to his maker, I'm assuming he would have likely chosen to spend a few days somewhere else. Maybe in the Carribean.

    So, Mr. Blackman, I guess at this point I should say I'm embarrassed as a veteran to have somehow besmirched the memory of our fallen heroes to have used their demise to make my point that this Empty Suit With Not One Single Redeeming Virtue To Have Qualified Him For This Job Should Never Passed This Crock Of Human Excrement, consider this my public affirmation of embarrassment.

    But to say that a few mentions of website or computer glitches makes this Monumental Smoking Crater of Crap called Obamacare somehow okay, or even acceptable, ummmmmm, not on your very best day.

    And, speaking of days, be sure to have a nice one...


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