Time For Change...

It's finally time to change a few names.

Since Big Orange decided to puke forth an Executive Order changing the name of that body of wa wa down south to "The Gulf of America," I decided to look into a few others we might reasonably change.

You may not know it (what with the paucity of real readin,' writin,' and spelling teaching going on 'round here), but we won the Mexican-American War.  

We won it back in 1848.  And the results are memorialized in the "Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo" that same year.  And we stole, er, took as the spoils of war the western half of of these here United States from them as a result.  Most of California, all of Nevada, and Utah, all of Arizona and New Mexico, a piece of Colorado, and some of Oklahoma.  Plus all of Texas, formally spelled "Tejas."  

And that's the subject of this spleen venting.

We should have then changed all those Mexican (Spanish) names in the territory we claimed.  Failing to do so left the impression in those highly impressionable Mexicans that it was bizzness as usual.  That they had every right to continue emigrating into the U. S. of A.  And since the Border was the Rio (Not So Grande) River, they could get here easily if they could wade.  And we made it easy for them by maintaining all those Mexican street and village and city and town and state names.  For shame.

"El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles del Rio de Porcuncula."  

That's the official name of Lost Angeles.  Is there any doubt it would be a magnet for all those "unapproved" Mexicans?  And San Francisco?  And Santa Monica?  And Santa Barbara?  Wouldn't it be better if those names were changed?  And all those states above named which have retained their Spanish names?  

What started all this was a doctors appointment.  I asked the guy at the doc's office for his address.  He said "Avenida de Missiones."  I looked it up and it's a dead end street featuring exactly zero missions.  

So I decided to offer up some suggestions for change.  Along with a new motto for each.  Here they are:

     -  Utah:  "Mormon"  "We're all super nice!"

     -  California:  "Reagan"  "Where women are women and half the men are too"

     -  Arizona:  "Melt"  "Hotter than a four-peckered goat!"

     -  Nevada:  "Lose"  "The only way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket"

     -  New Mexico:  "Indigenousville"   "We like the 'old' better." 

     -  Texas:  "Rodeo"  "THE destination for all disaffected Californians!"

     -  Florida:  "Sweat"  "THE destination for all disaffected New Yorkers!"

     -  Colorado:  "LoveToSki"  "Where Lefties go to offload their wealth!" 

NOTE:  I do not recommend we change all the Mexican street names.  Waaay too expensive, doncha' know.

We need to start by changing L. A.'s name to "Washington West."  And SanFran's name to "Hamilton."  And Santa Monica's to "Franklin."  Simpler, classier, historical.  And maybe then the Mexicans will decide to locate in Chicago, or Baltimore, or New Yawk City instead.  And since they're turning socialist, they would probably welcome all those new mouths to feed...