From the House of Rameses II.

This edition of the "Chuckmeister Chronicles" focuses upon one of my dearest interests.  Not politics, not guns, not cars, even:  Archeology.    

I suppose I didn't become an archeologist because it sorta' required one to dig in the dirt.  And knowing when you get up in the morning that you're going to go dig in the dirt all day is kind of offputing to me.  Given my 'druthers, I'd druther stay clean.  But finding neat old stuff and wandering around pyramids and ancient temples sounds just dandy to me.  Probably you too.

I suppose also my interest stems from the belief I was likely a pharoah in a past life.  Reincarnation, doncha' know.  Maybe even Rameses II.  He was the Big Guy.  Built more temples and such than any other pharoah.  Kicked major ass in Egypt's wars.  And he lived to be 90 in an era where peoples' life expectancy was about 30.

And if not a pharoah, a visier at the very least.

So you can understand that I've watched every TV show and podcast about this stuff.  And read all the stuff available on the Internet.  Probably more even than graduate archeologists.  So, being a Bishop in the Universal Life Church, and having the power to award (honorary) bachelors degrees, I hereby grant myself a degree in "Ancient Civilizations and the Stuff Those Folks Left Behind."

Now that my bona fides are thus laid bare for all to see, I have a couple of observations about ancient Egypt and the folks with whom they consorted.  First, we were always taught that the pyramids were tombs for pharoahs.  However, even though there are more than 100 pyramids in Egypt, and thousands of archeologists have been snooping around for 200 years, we've never found a pharoah entombed in one.  Not even a scrap of wood or cloth or leather, much less an arm or a leg.  

This brings us to the dominant theory at present:  they were power stations.  They were all built next to a river, so the ebbs and flows of the water could have been used to produce power.  Whether methane, or hydrogen, or even electricity, it's been proven they could have made their own power.   5,000 years ago.

Secondly, have you noticed there are no hieroglyphics on any of the walls of any of the pyramids?  The burial tombs in the Valley of the Kings are wall-to-wall heiros.  Not a square inch spared.  But in the pyramids?  Nothing.  Zip, nada.  I consider that additional evidence on the power plant side of theories.

Third, Have we noticed that there are no smudge marks on the walls and ceilings in any of those pyramids?  Or temples?  Once you take three steps inside of one it's as dark as the inside of a cat.  Can't see your hand in front of your face were it not for the occasional lamp.  Which gives us another check mark on the side of power plants.  They must have used something other than torches to light their way while building these enormous edifices.  And hieroglyphing the heck out of things.  

Electricity?

There are 2,300,000, 2 and 1/2 to 10 ton, custom-shaped limestone blocks in the Great Pyramid.  Imported from a quary 500 miles away.  Somehow.  Built to within .3 tenths of a degree to true Cardinal North.  Built on the exact geographic center of all the Earth's land masses.  To have built this enormous structure in 20 years, as we're told by archeologists they did, these ancient Egyptians would have had to place a stone block every two minutes, 24-hours-a-day, up to 481 feet in the air.  Quite obviously they knew something we don't.  Or have yet to learn.  Or re-learn.

And remember, the wheel wasn't invented yet, they had only copper tools, and no beasts of burden.

Although all of the hundreds of temples and burial tombs in Egypt feature floor-to-ceiling hieroglyphics, not a single one talks about how the pyramids were built.  Current thinking is because they inherited them from their forebears (see below).  And then put them to great use.  Perhaps even under the tutelage of friends from "High Places."  Ancient aliens theory, that.

Did you know Cleopatatra was closer in age to Steve Jobs and the I-Phone that she was the pyramids? 

Which brings me to my last observation.  For today.  It would seem from all I read and observed that we here on Earth went from a civilization that could build pyramids, and huge temples, and obelisks, and massive underground fortresses, straight to the Stone Age.  It took us thousands of years to begin to claw our way out of the Darkness and begin to rebuild from a natural disaster its thought occurred between 11,600 and 12,400 years ago.  A disaster so widespread that it virtually wiped out our species.  And most of the megafauna on Earth.  It's called the "Younger Dryas Theory" (look it up).  

In short, we were struck by several meteors that simultaneously melted all the glaciers, raised the level of the oceans by 400 feet, submerged thousands of villages on the Mediterranean Sea, and blocked out the sun from all the crap kicked up into the air.  It was dark for two years, they say.  And society quickly devolved. 

Oh yeah, and we learned from the writing of Plato that Atlantis was a real place.  It supposedly sank beneath the waves after an all-day, all-night thrashing.  Just about 11,600 years ago.  There's that date again. 

Perhaps these events even coincide with other Great Flood theories.  Every civilization across the Earth had one.  The travels of Gilgamesh foretold a civilization-ending Flood.  And 1,000 years later we can read about Noah and the Ark.  Or is it the same story?  

We were taught that society began in Assyria 6,000 years ago.  Before that?  We were all hunter-gatherers, they said.  Ooopsie!  The archeologists were all wrong.  Gobekli Tepi was just discovered in Southeast Turkey.  A huge grouping of enormous stone circles, surrounding 18 feet-tall "T-pillars" weighing in at 20 tons each.  And this sprawling city is only 5% uncovered, they say.  Did you know it's only a few miles from Mount Arrarat, the mountain upon which Noah and his Ark ran aground?  All this built by hunter-gatherers?  Not likely.  And ready for this?  It's carbon dated at 11,600 - 12,600 years.  That date ring a bell?  

We lost a civilization that had the ability to create these masterpieces.  We know that for sure 'cause we couldn't build 'em now.  With all our high-zoot technology, we couldn't build a pyramid.  Game, set, match.

The Egyptians have proof via their stone "King's List" that their society goes back 30,000 years.  The archeologists say its a myth.  There's a little clay tablet in the London Metropolitan Museum showing the names and terms of the kings of the 5 major Mesopotamian cities.  It goes back 30,000 years.

And while all this is going on, we've just been told that we humans go back 300,000 years.  They used to tell us 30,000 years.  Then 60,000.  Then 100,000.  Now 300,000!  Plenty of time for societies to form and evolve and advance and then blow themselves up.  And I do mean societies in the plural.  Look what we 'Muricans have accomplished in a short 200 years.  Imagine what we humans could do in 1,000?  And the society which follows ours?

Maybe the archeologists should dig a little deeper...