Just Another Reason to Get Drunk.

I would say most folks out celebrating today actually believe that Cinco de Mayo was the day of independence for Meheeeko.

It wasn't.

It's actually a day rich in history for quite another reason.  And here it is...

Meheeeko had been ruled by foreign powers, including Spain, for decades.  Until the Mexican-American War, that is.  And many countries had finanaced that War against us, including Britain, France and Germany.  

Following Meheeeeko's defeat against the "gringos," the Frogs, the Limeys and the Krauts wanted their money back.  The money they had lent Meheeeeko to fight us, good ol' 'Murica.  

And when they weren't getting it back, Napoleon Bonaparte, the Emperor of France, thought it would be a peachy time to invade Meheeeko and set up a satellite gubmint in the Americas.  So they attacked the city of Puebla de Los Angeles on May 5th, 1862.  

The French arrived at Veracruz that day and headed off to Meheeeeeeeko City.  But they had to travel through Puebla.  Turns out there was a mucho smaller force of Meheeekan soldiers in the State of Pueblo waiting for them.  Even so, the Meheeekans kicked France's arse.  Sent them packing back to Europe, they did.  And the Meheeeekans have been celebrating, quietly, that victory ever since.

Not widely, it should be known.  Only in the State of Pueblo do they celebrate, and then only with moderation.  Where Cinco The Fifth is celebrated is right here, in good ol' 'Murica.  And for some really good reasons.  It's because Meheeeko makes some really fine Tequila.  And a bar in Tiajowanna had invented the Margarita, which combined with Tequila, and a dash of lime, makes a super delish cocktail.  I, The Chuckmeister, consider the Margarita Meheeeko's primary reason for continuing as a country.  

That, and pinatas.  Birthday parties, doncha' know.

So Cinco de 5th celebrates Meheeeeko's only military victory in history.  After all, we kicked their enormous arses in the War, enabling us to grab everything north of the Rio (not so) Grande.  That included everything up through California to San Franpoopco, over past Nevada and Colorado, down through a bit of Oklahoma, and nearly all of Texas.  That includes what would become Arizona and New Meheeeeko, too.  Big chunk of real estate they blew, even though as the victors, we could have taken the entire country.  But they've been doing their best to take it back, one illegal birth on U. S. soil at a time, ever since.  Trump is trying to do something about that right now.

But until then there will be millions of thirsty 'Muricans out celebrating Meheeeekan Independence Day today, even though it isn't.  But what the Hell, these days who needs a reason to get drunk?  Certainly not me.  Go ahead, wet your beaks, 'Murica!  The Meheeekan economy depends on it...