I'll Bet They're Good Swimmers.

So let us take a little break from the Election, okay?  Whether you were gratified beyond all explanation, happy that your Country has a chance now to regain its former status, pleased that we're all going forward toward a Bright, New, and Exciting Future,...

...or not.

Either way, I thought I'd give you something else to think about for the next couple of days.  Until I decide to puke forth another missive, that is.  So here goes...

I've noticed, Fellow Patriots, that we do not have a paucity of actors and actresses. 

In fact, we're told there are 32,345 of them.  Already famous, or not. quite. yet.  That's what SAG-AFTRA, their Union, to which they all pay dues, tells us.  

And 98% of them are serving you dinner at the local Ihop.

The other 2% are the ones who you see at the Oscars.  According to the IRS, these few are able to actually earn a living acting.  Memorizing the lines written by somebody else, and then spewing them out on cue.    

And some of those "2%" earn a grand living, indeed.  Tens of millions per movie.  You'd think if they're so very fond of Left-wing causes, they should be required to pool their earnings and throw a few crumbs to the others, right?

Did you know that the average home in Brentwood or Beverly Hills sits on about five acres.  More like a compound, right?  You'd think they'd gladly welcome a few dozen of their beloved "migrants" to pitch tents in their back yards.  With laundry and kitchen privileges thrown in. 

Anyway, these young folk come straight out of their high schools in Bumphuque, Ohio, where they starred in their high school plays.  They got the "big head" and decided they possessed that special quality which would make them a star.  So they came to Hollywood on the Greyhound bus to become the very next (______).  Singer, dancer, actor/actress.  Fill in the blank.

That's great.  To each his/her/its own.  But I've made an observation recently that might help to shape a young ladies life.  And feel free to pass it along if you agree.  Here is is: Don't come west unless you have gigonda bazooms.  Tasty melons.  Enormous jalonies.  Bloated breasts.  Or as one wag said in the vernacular, 

                       Big t*ts.

Have you noticed that AT&T did everything they could to hide Lili Vayntraub's enormous ti*s?  You know, the cute gal who serves as their spokesweenie?  And for as long as possible she was always filmed behind a desk.  But then they burst forth (pun intended) on the scene in one of her minor movie parts!  She's been blessed (or cursed?) with enormous breasts.  Which more or less guarantees she'll be put toward the front of the pack when casting time comes around.  And chosen for a tasty acting job ahead of all the others who have normal bazooms. 

(BTW, I have long thought we should identify women as "Breasted Americans."  They have such trouble on the Left these days trying to define what constitutes an actual "woman," doncha' know.  Maybe we should just change the name altogether.  Call them "Breasted Americans" and that should help to define them.  In this day and age, with so many men "identifying" as women, which is all that's necessary, we need to be sure and not hurt anybody's feelings, doncha' know...) 

Or has that "DEI" and "Equity" religion gone out of business? 

Now then, there are a legion of doctors who will gladly fit young ladies out with enormous boobs (the ones who will cut them off of confused pre-teens are right down the hallway).  A few thousand bucks and, VOILA!  They've got big breasts, too!  But I've discovered that those who bring those big t*ts with them to Hollywood tend to get the big jobs first.  Remember Norma Jean?  She came to Plasticville with Big Ti*s at the ripe old age of 17.  Within a week she was renamed Marilyn Monroe and was cast in her first movie.  

And I've noticed that those without the big hooters have to earn a few paychecks before they can whip out the plastic to pay for that plastic, right?  But if you show up with the goods, you're available from day one, right?  Look at what it did for Lili?  She's from Ukraine, fergodssake! 

And I've noticed also that young starlets to-be tend to take their clothes off and show their jalonies on the way up.  That helps them to get those cushy (but drafty!) jobs.  And that aging stars, those past their prime, the Sharon Stones, tend to take their clothes off and show their gigantic (sagging) Bazooms when they're on the way down.  Pun intended.  To help them pick up some meager jobs when their star has lost its lustre.  Just a fact of nature.  And of life.  

So, as a student of breasts (although an a*s and leg man, myself), I can tell you a fine face and some real talent is one thing.  A fine face, some talent and really big headlights with the high-beams on is quite another.  Right boys?  And girls?  And wannabe girls without the boobs?  So let's raise our glasses high and give a toast to Fine Funbags!  

And another thing.  I'll bet they're really good swimmers...