It just hit me recently, that all the members of my own family were born and raised here in California.
Well, DUH!
Which means they know no other life. Some would say that's good. Very good. And some would say that's bad. Very bad.
The "California Dream" to me when I got here back in the '70's, was to be an as-yet unpainted palate. Just waiting for me and others to invent our own success stories. We flocked here like the wannabe' gold miners did back in the 1840's. Looking for a chance to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and become "somebody." And the very best place in the very best Country back then was California.
Back when I got here our regulations were few, our laws were reasonable, our taxes were low, and the weather was great.
Now? The regulations are many, the laws are outrageously numerous and complicated, our taxes are the highest in the Nation, but our weather's still great.
But like the "Frog in the Pot," * our friends and neighbors, and family members, have become accustomed to "socialism-Light." The Biggest and Grandest State in the Union, home to 15% of America's population (with more than One Million having fled), with the highest gas prices, and mis-managed all to Hell. But it could be my family, or anyone else's family born and raised here, either doesn't know it, or doesn't care.
Because they have no other frame of reference. They have nothing to compare it to.
Oh, they might choose to differ, having visited nearly everywhere first with their Mom and and I, and later everywhere else on their own. But that's not the same thing as living and working there, wherever "there" is. Or having been born and grown up somewhere else. And therein lay the difference. Here's one frame of reference.
I grew up in the smallish town of Chillicothe, Missouri. The nicest little place ever. 9,977 people when I left. They are still trying to crack that magic "10,000" number, the last I heard.
My Home Town was a the County Seat and a farming community, like so many others all across the fruited plain. Everybody knows everybody, which is both wonderful and frightening. You can never get "out of town," so to speak. Somebody's always watching to keep you on the straight and narrow.
And trust me, somebody's mom would call your mom, if you ever varied from the straight and narrow.
My Dad was besties with a guy named Kenney Frost, who owned the Army-Navy Store. And besides canteens and web belts and tents, he also sold firearms. Lots and lots of firearms. Everybody bought their guns from Kenney, and you could always find a gaggle of hunters and shooters hanging out around the pickle barrel at his place.
My Dad was a champion rifle and pistol shot and a hunter of all non-human things that moved. And so became Kenney's fast friend. And since I often went there with him, I got interested in guns as well. And before long, I was pawned off to Kenney as an Apprentice Gunsmith. I'd get to take broken ones apart, and fix them, and then put them back together. As good as new.
At the ripe old age of 13.
And then I graduated to actually building action-up hunting rifles. The bolt-actions and barrels and stocks and scope mounts and scopes and triggers and all the other pieces necessary to put one together. I'd get the specs from Kenney, who'd promised to build the customer's gun. "Wink-wink."
Little did the customer know, but I'd be doing the building! A 13 year-old kid, ordering up actions and barrels and hunks of special wood that I'd then blend together over a couple of months into a thing of beauty. As it happened, my cousin was a guy named Reinhardt Fajen. He was the foremost stock maker in all of America at the time. He produced the finest wood stock blanks which folks like me were to magically turn into finished rifle stocks. And he was located close by the Lake of the Ozarks, Mid-America's playground.
BTW, it took about 100 hours of intense skilled labor to make a finished rifle stock out of a bare blank. In my case, those hours were compensated at far less than minimum wage.
I'd (Kenney'd) promise "minute-of-angle" accuracy at 100 yards from his (my) rifles. That means 5 shots within a 1-inch diameter target at a distance of 100 yards. Five quarter-inch bullets into the size of a half-dollar. Pretty dayummm good, I'd say.
I continued on building and buying and collecting guns as I grew up. I recall I'd often select a few pistols and rifles when I got older, tossing them into the back seat of my car, and then driving the 2 miles to the city limits.
I'd park, select a target and then blast away. All day long. Maybe a target hung on a tree, or a tin can on the roadway, or the cardboard box that the ammo came in. Right beside a gravel road, stopping only to wave hello to passing cars. I didn't think it strange to do what I was doing. No one else did either at the time. Imagine the furor it would cause if someone did that here, today?
Maybe not in Oklahoma, or Arkansas, or Texas, but here in California?
Folks didn't routinely lock their doors back then. Because everyone trusted everyone else. And also, because everyone was armed. With lots and lots of guns. And they knew how to use them. They'd blow you out of your loafers if you got sideways. So nobody ever got sideways.
I recall one Fall day when the request from our Mayor came out. Our Court House, a big gray 3-story building right in the middle of Chillicothe, had been selected by starlings as their nesting spot. Not just a few. Thousands! They were like flying rats. And they would swarm and poop, poop and swarm. It was getting old! So the Mayor asked local hunters to bring their shotguns and come visit that one particular Saturday afternoon. Oh yeah, only tiny bird shot, so as not to blow out the windows.
And the hunters responded. I'd say there were a hundred or more, including my Dad, who showed up that late Fall day. And on cue they started blasting away. It was a war zone! Thousands of shots, thousands of birds bit the dust! It was lovely! I wished at the time I'd been old enough to take part. For it was days like that which helped to make me who I am.
And to a large part, how California used to be.
Oh yeah, street racing was a "thing," everybody participated, the cops looked the other way, and everyone was happy. Racing each other was a way of determining Clan Supremacy without resorting to fist fights. The Dairy Queen was our Home Base. As the sun went down the cars would line up. Shiny, fast and loud modified cars, loaded with horsepower and proud to show it off.
We'd all back into a space and then open our hoods. To show off our cromed-up motors. We'd buy some barrel fries and a cherry Coke, and then back on the road. Driving up and down the Four Lane, flashing our lights at each other as we met. And God help you if you failed to flash!
And since none of our parents were well-to-do, we'd "buck bales" in the Summer for extra money. Bucking bales involves showing up in some farmer's yard before dawn. And then following alonside a flatbed truck as we approached the hayfield.
The gigonda hay bailer, costing about $250,000 even back then, would scrape the ground for hay and then bale it up, with tough twine. The bales would be deposited every 20 feet of so, and one of us after another would grab a bale's twine, heft it up with one hand, and sling it up onto the truck's bed. About 5' in the air. In 104 degree heat. All day. Nearly dying, but not quite. For the grand old sum of $0.10 cents per bale. Lemme' repeat that: Ten Friggin' Cents Per Bale.
Remember what Nietsche said? "That which does not kill you makes you stronger."
Later, after the farmer had taken pity on us and let us go back to the barn, we'd man the motorized lifter and move and stack the hundreds of bales into the barn. In the attic of the barn. In about 130 degrees of Missouri heat. Which is hotter than the same temperature most anywhere else. With little bits of hay floating in the air for you to breathe.
That's how we earned enough dough to put gas in the tank and take Little Suzie to the movies on Friday night. And to the DQ for snacks afterward. To participate in that car show I mentioned up there above.
For that was our world. And we loved it.
And speaking of bales of hay, we'd throw a few dozen bales on that same flatbed trailer. Then we'd hook it to a tractor come late October and take off on a wonderful, full-moon hayride. We'd bundle up with our girl and boyfriends, sitting on the bales, and wander slowly down some cornfield, way in the back 40 (acres).
And I won't fail to mention our Friday night sock hops. We bring boy/girlfriend to the school gymnasium. They'd turn the lights down low and we'd dance all night. In our socks, so as to not screw up the finish on the basketball court. To songs across the P.A. like, "Put your head on my shoulder," and "Oh Donna" and "Mona Lisa." That's how we kept our girl/boyfriends. And in many cases, that's how we met our girl/boyfriends. Like my friends and classmates Rich and Sandy Macholtz. Just celebrated their 63rd wedding anniversary.
There was actually a movie shot in my home town. It was a black and white movie called "High School Ceasar." You can find it on YouTube. Turns out some guy who graduated from my high school wanted to "give back." So he wrote a screenplay, got the funding and the circus came to town. I was in it, Rich and Sandy were in it, nearly everybody in school was in it. Can you say that?
I was 11 years old I think when I built my first cannon. I bought a 3 foot section of threaded plumber's pipe and a black nipple screw cap. I then drilled a hole in the cap just large enough for the fuse from a Cherry Bomb to barely fit through. Then I'd take it out in the woods and blow the sh*t out of something!
I recall the day I put a 7/8" ball bearing in my custom cannon, a Cherry Bomb fuse through the hole in the cap, screwed it all down tight, and then aimed it at the side of a decrepit old barn. An abandoned barn. Which was soon to feel the wrath of The Early Chuckmeister. And it did. I lit the fuse and ran like a sumbitch. KaBOOOOOM! My loyal cannon blew the barn down! First the wall I was aiming at, and then the rest of it slowly following suit. Such was my early childhood.
Oh yeah, I already mentioned in earlier postings that I was a professional pool player for about 10 years. I started playing at about 13, and was the best I'd ever seen by the age of 16. I was on the road playing for money by 17, and was named one of the 50 Best in America by Billiards Digest Magazine by the time I was 21. I thought everyone wore a moneybelt and carried a gun. That's my frame of reference.
I also might also mention I spent almost 4 years in the U. S. Army, trying to keep communism away from our doorstep. That can alter one's frame of reference.
Annnnd, (final annnnd), I might remind those so inclined to read this interminable drivel, that my Home Town is the Same Home Town as produced "Sliced Bread." Yes, the guy who invented Sliced Bread was from Chillicothe. Which is up there with "Night Baseball" in favorite sayings. So some of that inventiveness rubbed off on me. And I took it with me thoughout my life. Cogitate upon that...
Now back to being born and raised in California. If a couple of recollections from my yout (what's a yout?) sounds a whole lot more interesting than another day of "Endless Summer" surfing, maybe you ought to listen to those "Rednecks" who were born and raised somewhere else.
Oh yeah, if any of my family is reading this humble missive, you now know why your Dear Old Dad thinks as he does. And why those of you who don't agree with him on the issues may grow to share his views as you emerge from the fantastic bubbles I've helped you create for yourselves.
(BTW, I've checked the stats and there had not been a murder in my home town in its entire 100 year history. Up until the day I left, that is. That says something about the value of widespread firearm ownership, doncha' think?)
NOTE: Sorry to talk about me. But it's the subject I know the most about...
* The "Frog in the Pot" theory is a cautionary tale. It goes like this. If you were to toss a frog into a pot of boiling water, he would surely hop right back out. But if you put a frog into a pot of lukewarm water, and then slowly turn up the heat, he would turn a bright red as he boiled to death. We, Fellow Patriots, are that frog...