Back When Cars Were Pretty...

Somewhere along the line we were sold a bill of goods by the car manufacturers.  And their bosses, the Federal Gubmint.  

They sold us on buying SUV's instead of 2-door coupes.  SUV's instead of 4-door sedans.  SUV's instead of Station Wagons.  And SUV's instead of convertibles.  

Why?  Because it's easier to make one style of automobile.  And cheaper.  And more profitable. 

And what's an SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle)?  It's nothing but a pickup truck with a different suit of clothes.  And a prettied-up interior.  And another $25,000 packed onto the window sticker.  

Oh yeah, and let's talk pickup trucks.  They used to cost about half what a sedan did.  And guys were buying them fully-loaded, especially Ford's F-150's, in the millions.  So the manufacturers decided to pack them with the same stuff all those SUV's had, and then mark up the prices accordingly.  

So $60,000 pickups are now the norm.

Did you know there was a time when the auto manufacturers changed the designs of their cars each and every year?  And they did so for decades!  It was expected!  We, the motoring public, would have stood for nothing less!  But today's car buying public seems to have embraced sameness.  Like those car makers were hoping.  The "Frog in the Pot" theory writ large (look it up).

Just think how much those manufacturers save by not having to do major restyles each year?   

I fondly recall peeking through a small tear in the butcher paper covering the floor-to-ceiling windows at my friendly Chevy dealer.  It was early September of 1957 and we couldn't wait to see what they were going to look like.  Me and my young teenage buddies.  Because in early September of every year they came out with an all new design.  All the manufacturers did.  They competed with each other for the styling buzz.  But it was still a few days until the formal reveal...

"It's longer!  It's lower!  And wider!  And it handles better!  And has more horsepower!  And more torque!   You'll have a "'tiger in your tank!"'  

Today?  That infernal TV screen in the middle of your dash is now bigger!  Perhaps it will soon grow so big you cannot see around it.  Or maybe the 128 speaker sound system will knock your socks off.  If you choose to wear socks (no suggestion as to lifestyle, positive or negative, hereby implied).  Or perhaps it will be so very quiet you'll not be able to hear it at all.  And for those who love the rumble of those throaty V-8's?  

Too bad, so sad, you Troglodytes!  You're out of luck.

Think about it this way.  Cars when I was coming up were gorgeous.  And their interiors were stylish.  Think the '57 Plymouth Sport Fury.  And the '60 DeSoto Adventurer.  And the '68 and '69 Chevelles.  And the '55, '56 and '57 Chevys.  And the '60 Ford Starliner.  And the '64 Oldsmobile Starfire.  And the '58 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz.  Let's not forget the '57 Thunderbird.  The the luscious '57 Studebaker Golden Hawk.  

The designers of these vehicles competed with each other through looks.  They penned a design and the engineers had to fit their stuff inside it.  Oh, they were mechanically pieces of crap, compared to the expected longevity of today's vehicles, but they were pretty.  They were likely to wind up on the side of the road, completely used up, by 80,000 miles.  That's why so many of them wound up in stock car races and then in junk yards.  

Oh, and they would kill you if you ran into anything of substance at more than 40 mph.*

And then the Gubmint got involved.  They came up with the NHTSA (National Highway Transportation Safety  Administration) back in the 1970's.  And it began issuing edicts like crazy.  To make our cars safer!  And less powerful.  

And heavier! 

The average weight of a "Big 3" full size sedan back in 1960?  2,789 lbs.  The average weight of a full size sedan today?  4,219 lbs.  That's a dozen air bags and "crush zones" and steel cross-reinforcing, and a bunch of other safety stuff.  And you have to pay in reduced gas mileage to cart it all around.  And worse yet, you have to pay your dealer for all that stuff.  Whether he wants to put it in the car or not.  And whether you want it on your car or not.

Example:  Try and find a car today without power windows.  Or power steering.  Or power brakes.  You can't.  That's because it's cheaper to install them in every car, and then to charge you for them as a part of a package options.  No delete, so sorry.  

And face it: cars are ugly.  And the customers have been conditioned not to care, it seems.  I defy you: stand 50 feet away from the side view of any sedan today and try and tell me who made it.  Or the model.  Or even the year.  That's because they all look the same.  Unfortunately.   And our public keeps on buying ugly crap, which takes away any reason at all for the manufacturers to change.  In fact, manufacturers now refurbish existing designs only once every 6 years.  

The lazy creeps.

Back when I was growing up, cars were beautiful!  They were works of art!  In fact, most of them were penned by famed designers.  Raymond Loewey.  And Virgil Exner.  And the world famous Harley Earle.  They drew the cars Detroit built.  And they changed each and every year!  Brand new designs, all new cars!

Maybe that's why these 60 - 65 year-old automobiles are commanding a king's ransom when they cross the block at Barrett-Jackson or Mecum Auctions.

I ask you.  What would you prefer.  Beatiful works of rolling automotive art, that you would want to wash by yourself, or shoebox-shaped lumps of souless metal, that you would take to the car wash without a second thought?  

Think about it:  An automobile is likely the 2nd largest purchase a citizen is likely to make.  Right behind one's house.  And it seems to me that we should demand a whole lot more for our $900 a month for 7 years, than a square clump of ugly metal you're not excited to drive.  If you agree with me, you could always send off a nice email to the folks who made your car, and lettem' know exactly how you feel about your ugly piece of crap.

An aged, wandering Scribe Without Portfolio needs to vent every now and again.  I just did...  

*     I recall having to check the box for seatbelts on the order form for my 1962 Chevrolet Super Sport 409 cu. in./409 hp., with 4-speed, and posi-traction.  While the Beach Boys song ("Giddiyup giddiyup 409!") was on the charts.  The extra cost for the belts?  $7.62.  Really.