I was wading hip-deep to a tall Indian* through that bane-of-our-existence we call the Internet the other day, and came upon a bit about Kanye and Kim West's kids:
- Saint
- North
- Chicago
- Psalm
Not that I routinely give a goodgoddam about them or their spoiled kids, you understand. Just sayin'
Seems they chose to name their children by randomly opening a dictionary and randomly picking out a word. I'm sure I must have glanced at one or more of their names before, whilst meandering through a supermarket check out line most likely, but I never saw them all grouped up tight together like that before. I kept thinking to myself about the burden on them it must be to carry these names throughout their lives. About what these kids are going to do every time they try and introduce themselves! Or make a plane reservation! I mean, "Hello, this is Chicago West?" Or, "Hi, my name is North West."
Really?
So I thought to myself. Now that Kanye and Kim have separated, and she's found a guy with something "else" to offer, or so I hear, they likely won't need anymore new kids' names. But if they get back together, they just might. And hey, if "Kan" and Kim (let's call them "KanKim," shall we?) ever reconcile, they'll need some outside help, 'cause their efforts so far really suck. So, fellow Patriots, here's some kids' names in case KanKim get back together:
- Curdle
- Ditch
- Bile
- Lawn
- Newark
- Flotsam/Jetsam (in case they are twins)
- Burgle
- Fluff
- Tomato
- Pasta
- Mucous
- Lettuce
- (and for good measure, Smegma**)
My loyal Patriot readers know they can count on me to rise up and offer help to my suffering compatriots. You didn't know I had a degree in Psychology? No? Yeah, well, I can offer advice and counsel in just such circumstances as this. Like KanKim. So, as always, The Chuckmeister's here for you, kids! Just call. Anytime. Baby. Boobie...
* (Native American Indigenous Personage)
** (Look it up)
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