Supply Chain Issues? Blame O'Biden...

Fellow Patriots, I, The Chuckmeister, am here to deliver some truly Great News!

You now have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to slap inflation right in the kisser and save a boatload of money on Christmas, at the very same time, by simply refusing to spend any money. 

Any money at all. 

Annnnnd, fellow Patriot, you can get away with it by blaming it all on our rickety old President-for-Awhile-Yet, Mr. Joe O'Biden.  

How?  Well, sit back, grab a cool adult beverage, put your feet up, put your blaster on "stun," and lemme' tell ya' how...

You've heard of this whole "supply chain" problem, right?  That's the pickle we get into when too many dollars are chasing too few goods.  Like the normal flow of goods and services which might be expected to occur as we're coming out of your basic pandemic.  Exceppppt, if the whole Magilla is interrupted when your Friendly Gubmint prints up $8.7 Trillion Dollars which we don't have, thus reducing the value of the dollars you do have, and ships it out the door.  

That's called inflation.  And one of the many side effects of this sort of inflationary pressure (BTW, I'm an actual graduate economist, meaning in this one rare instance, I know whereof I speak) is a few dozen massive container ships lounging around off Long Beach Harbor, where they've never, ever been before, waiting to find somebody to unload them.  Isn't it funny when a really super plan to turn America into Cuba, cooked up in the Yale faculty lounge, is put into motion...and then goes over like a turd in a punchbowl?  

And guess what?  Those container ships contain the little "Boobie Jessie" doll Suzie wants, and the "Mad Scientist" nuclear-capable laboratory set that your dear little Johnny wants.  The unnecessary crap you would have been forced to buy, but didn't want to.  

Anyhoo, so it's Christmas morning, and there's no doll for Suzie or chemistry set for little Johnny under the tree!  And when they start to cry those reeely big tears, you play the "Dumb Card;" you blame it all on creepy Joe O'Biden.  It's all his fault, you say!  You would have bought them, you say, with a straight face, but Joe got in the way!  You would have paid double, you say, just to get them for your little treasures!  But it's not your fault!  You were thwarted in your efforts by the elite, effete snobs in the White House!  Their kids no doubt got their goddam dolls and chemistry sets, you say!  Notice you got the goddam Christmas presents you wanted when Big Bad Orange Man was in orifice, right kiddies? 

Right?  

Now?  Those $95 dolls and $110 blow-up-the-world lab sets?  Sorry, kiddies!  Your President took them away from you...

(Heh, heh...)

And you?  You've got an extra $Few Hundred in your pocket you thought you'd have to spend.  Which helps to make up for the extra $Buck-fifty a gallon good ol' Joe is stealing from us.  He's peeled our finances like a grape.  Here's our chance to shift the blame, back to where it belongs.  And not have to listen to the damn doll moan "mommy" over and over.  Or fear that your home will be blown up by little Johnny.  Annnnd, save a few bucks in the process!

You don't get chances like these very often, fellow Patriots.  Let's all take advantage now, while we have the chance.  Remember, when the kids start to whimper and moan, all together now, it's all Joe's fault!  

Maybe they'll remember this and vote the right way when the time comes around...