I Saw UFO'S!

Yeah, I/we really did!  And here's how it all unfolded...

My daughters know that my belief in the existence of life on other planets runs deep.  And in the life forms that may indeed be visiting us therefrom.  And that I've been threatening to go where they seem to hang out for about 20 years.  That would be Sedona, Arizona.  Soooo, my daughters conjured up this plan to take me there for my birthday.  My, ummm, four score minus two birthday.  

After initially blowing off this idea as crazy, I warmed to it.  I got to thinking, hey, I live alone, and mostly don't go anywhere, and could use a vacay desperately, so why not?  The only risk we took was hoping we could all be civil with each other for a Road Trip.  We thought it worth a try.  And so we did...

We know that Sedona, Arizona is considered a locus for UFO sightings, as well as vortexes, and lay-lines, and crystals, and red rocks, and a collection of kind of quirky, weird spiritualists.  And as it happens I've been paid by a series of companies to travel all over the place on business, as in something more than 1,000 commercial flights, but I somehow never made it to Sedona.  Yup, I've visited 37 countries and 49 states.  Never somehow made it to North Dakota, either, although I never really missed it.  But I've missed Sedona.  And my daughters knew it...

So they got together and conjured up a plan to scoop me up and take me there for my birthday.  And to experience the red rocks, and the vortexes, and the weird people, and the UFO's for myself.  They treated me to a "UFO's Sedona" tour, so we could see for ourselves if they're "out there."  And the results were somewhat surprising...

Our tour guides took us out of town a few miles to a dark area of the desert where light pollution wasn't a problem.  And then they provided us with night vision goggles so we could see for ourselves.  After a short course in astronomy, we focused our attention on the billions and billions of stars we could now see.  And the stuff flying around below them.  Within our atmosphere.  And if what we saw, several high-flying bright objects scooting along, were UFO's, as our guides inferred, then we saw UFO's.  They were indiscernible as to shape, being so far away, but were much bigger than the stars, were flying briskly north to south, over the desert, where our satellites don't normally travel (what's to look at from above in Sedona?), without a noticeable means of propulsion, or heat signature, or blinking lights.  

Which means they are "UFO's" by definition.  Or, as our Gubmint now chooses to call them, after lying to us for more than 70 years as to their existence, and now being forced to admit they are real, "UAP's."  Or, Unidentified Areal Phenomena.  

BTW, if you saw a UFO, and you subsequently identified it, and then it landed, would it therefore only be an Object?  Just askin.'

Ahem...

Anyhoo, back to the subject at hand.  It was a very cool tour and a very cold tour.  The temp dropped and we shivered.  But we soldiered on for the hour or so we looked up at the bright sky through goggles that magnified the lights by 4,000 times or so, for the folks who'd just taken the 3:14 from Sirius B to come visit their "pets" in their "zoo."  I mean, Little Green Men need recreation too, right?  And it's my theory that they first colonized us about 12,000 years ago, and they keep on coming back to check up on their handiwork.  Especially once we invented atomic bombs.  With which we could blow up the "zoo."  

And yes, I'm "sirius."

So we went, we saw, and we all got reacquainted as a family.  We'd not been together since the girls' Mother died four years ago.  And the chance to get their Dad off his ass and make him go visit the place he'd always threatened to go to was just to rich to miss.  So they conspired to take me there, and I'm so happy they did.  We had a tremendous time.  We had hours to share ideas and concepts and stories and beliefs and fears and thoughts and loves and hopes and dreams.  And remembrances of their Mom.  Yes, a very fine time.  The "Grand Tour," I call it.  Certainly the first, and perhaps the last.  

But then again, maybe not!  Maybe this is but the first such time we'll get together and tour!  They've threatened now that they know I can take it to make me take it again in the future.  To the wine country, perhaps.  I certainly hope so.  I'm primed and ready.  These old bones are weary, but they haven't given up quite yet.

And yes, it was a gas to see filling stations along the way selling gas for $3.29 a gallon.  Being from Taxifornia, that was a rare treat.  Maybe that's why so many are leaving here and going there...

Thanks, kids!  You did your old Dad proud!