CNN "Exposes Itself"

The very most cringeworthy event in the history of TV just occurred.  You just want to wash your hands over the whole thing...

I dunno' if you heard, but CNN just reinstated Jeffrey Toobin.

Jeffrey, as you might have heard, got a particularly acute case of cabin feevah during the depths of the anti-constitutional nation-wide lockdown His People demanded.  Turns out he was on a Zoom call with some of his associates and got a little bored.  Or "board," if you'll excuse me.  Seems that although he was fully clothed above the waist, he was, ummm, ...unclothed, below.  As in naked.  Nude, doncha' know.

Did I mention that Jeff had been the Clinton News Network's Chief Legal Analyst for more than 25 years?  No?  

So Jeff, being "board," as I stated, decided to flip his minnow.  Lope his mule.  Jiggle his joint.  Choke his chicken, as they say.  Have an order of "Beef Strokenoff."  Try jerkin' the gherkin.  Go out with Mary and her four daughters.  Take his doggie for a walk.  In front of at least one female associate, I'm led to understand.  And she didn't appreciate getting a couple of eyeballs full of Jeff's, ummm, balls.   

So she made mention of that fact to upper management, which is amazing in and of itself, and Jeffey got his walking papers.  No, not a pink slip, a love note asking him to stay at home for awhile until the matter blew over, and then maybe they could work him back into the schedule at some later date.  When all of this became yesterday's news, doncha' know.  Because Liberals just luuuv to give goofballs like Toobin 3rd and 4th and 7th chances for redemption.  He could "spank the monkey" at home for awhile, and then come back later.

Well, this is later.

Jeffrey Toobin was welcomed back into the "good" graces of the Clinton News Network in an interview yesterday with their anchor Allyson Camerota.  He "whipped off" his coat, "jerked off" his tie, and sat down.  Ahem!  She said, "Many of us have really missed having your legal analysis to guide us on to progress, so let me be the first to welcome you back!" (!) 

Grovel, much?

He said his actions were "...deeply moronic and undignified, and he was really sorry for this lapse in judgement."  He begged forgiveness, and she gave it to him.  On behalf of their rapidly-fading Network, I suppose.  

Damn, you can wiggle the tube steak on national television now and get a seven month vacay!  Where do I sign up?

(P. S.  I knew a guy who passed out every time he got an erection.  Seems as though there wasn't enough blood for he and it both!  He couldn't blink either.  Not enough skin!  I gotta' a million of 'em!)