More Proof of California Craziness...

If you live in California it would be a good idea if you just keep on doing what you were doing and stop reading right here.

That's because reading this posting will remind you once again just how unfortunate you are to live in the once-Golden State.

Why?  Because the crazies in charge of this insane asylum seem to make it a point to come up with the weirdest, strangest, most inane and unworkable ideas and then turn them into law.  Examples?  Sure...

Plastic bags are now illegal, except that they're not...

So go to work or to the beach or to the grocery store, where you'll now have to pay for what used to be a free plastic bag, which is no longer free, because that will somehow help to "save the planet."  Yep, actual voters here actually voted to reduce the number of plastic bags in the landfill.  And that will happen by you no longer receiving a free bag in which to lug home your food stuffs from Grubbies' Grocery Giant.  Of course, you can  BUY a plastic bag, the very SAME plastic bag, from the very SAME store, for $0.10 if you so choose. So how does this help the planet?  Don't know.  But it sure makes for a new profit source for your local grocer.  Does this make any sense at all, to anyone, anywhere?  

Anyway, now that we've gotten rid of Californians, who value the weather here more then they do their wallet or their jobs or their health care or their sanity, the rest of you should sit down, grab an expensive snifter of a silber reposado anejo Tequila and prepare to laugh out loud.   

Okay.  Ready?  Here goes.  Regular readers of this unassuming little blog will know that I make it a point to report on all the dumbass laws the liberal elites who own and manage the State from that backwater town known as Sacramento just luuuuuuv to pass.  We have some of the stupidest, most ludicrous, ridiculous, painful, restrictive and completely unworkable laws than you could even imagine. But now those brain-dead bozos have gone and passed a few new ones that just defy the imagination. And here they are...

You!  With the fireplace!  Up against the wall!

Because burning wood, and presumably anything else, contributes to "global warming," or "climate change," or "climate chaos," or whatever they choose to call it tomorrow in an effort to scare the bejeezus out of us, the "sheeple," the idiots in charge have just made it illegal to burn wood in your wood-burning fireplace if your little warmth-provider is located at an altitude of 3,000 feet or below.  "Really," you might ask? Yes, really. That's because the "Air Quality Management District," which consists of a dozen or so appointed bureaucrats who get paid tons of money to meet every three or four months for an hour or so and then head on out to an expensive luncheon, and who report directly to the "Air Resources Board," which consists of a dozen or so highly-paid bureaucrats who meet every three or four months to talk about the weather and then head on out to an expensive luncheon, has decided that our air quality at lower altitudes is not so good.  And that burning that log in your fireplace would make the situation worse.  Yes, really.  

Oh, and don't try to burn one of those fake-ass, waxy four-hour logs either! They're illegal as well.  Your fine for violating these laws against God and nature, or at least nature if you're a godless Liberal, will be $50.00 for the first violation, and then increase all the way up to $1,000 for subsequent infractions. 

Now, I don't know how they're going to determine just who is using their fireplace the way fireplaces ought to be used, but they're certainly going to try.  My guess is they'll create a whole new bureau and hire a bunch of new UNION guys to drive around in shiny new cars we provide for them (probably electric), just looking for smoke coming out of our chimneys. And then they'll whip out their ticket book and ruin another of your fine-weather days. I'm guessing they'll each be making about $200,000 a year, plus a whole raft of benefits.

BTW, you should know that the Los Angeles Basin is actually a "basin," or chunk of real estate bounded on all sides by mountains.  So, when the on-shore breezes start to blow, any crap in the air stops when it hits the big hills a few miles from the water, and then backs up all the way to the coast.  That's called "smog."  You should know also there is undisputed evidence that smog (a mixture of smoke and fog) was ever-present 500 years before the first SUV arrived here due to hundreds and hundreds of Indian campfires.  Oh, sorry. They're now called "Indigenous Peoples."  The very same "Indigenous Peoples" who own and operate the most lucrative casinos anywhere.  I can tell you this:  The very next time somebody wants me to play cowboys and Indians, I want to be one of them there Indians...errrrr, "Indigenous Peoples."

Think it can't get any dumber than that?  Read on...

Build that wall between California and the "Flyover Country."

Everybody by now knows that Taxifornia is the very heart of Liberal Lunacy.  We have more than two dozen towns that have declared themselves to be "sanctuary cities." That means they simply refuse to call up ICE and hand over criminal illegal aliens who may have been found to be on the wrong side of the law and wound up in their jail cells.  I mean, we're talking criminal illegal aliens!  Not some poor fool who crossed the border illegally to work in the kitchen of a Chinese restaurant in order to send back remittances to momma and the kids back in Cuernavaca.  They're illegal criminal alien crooks!  Murderers!  Rapists!  Burglars!  

So these cities, from San Diego to Lost Angeles to Santa Monica to Santa Cruz to San Francisco have decided which Federal laws to honor and obey, and which to simply ignore. 

But Trump has thrown down the gauntlet and is threatening these sanctuary cities with withholding Federal monies if they don't quickly get on the right side of the law.  And some have seen the light.  But others, such as L.A. and San Fran have doubled down. They have declared themselves to be sanctuaries forever and always.  No questions! But Taxifornia's Legislature has tripled down. It has decided to name itself a "sanctuary state."  That means the entire State will refuse to honor ICE detainers.  In essence, it is giving the finger to the Federal Government and daring it to do something about it. And to show just how serious it is on this matter, it has hired Eric Holder, ex-U.S. Attorney General, to help it fend off Trump if he decides to come after it for its lawlessness.

Remember Holder?  He's the only Cabinet-level officer to have ever been held in contempt of Congress in the entire history of America.  That's because he refused to turn over subpoenaed documents to Congress relating to "Fast and Furious," the illegal and unconstitutional gun-running scheme entered into by the Obama Administration. Remember that one?  Obama/Holder bought thousands of assault weapons with our Stimulus money and proceeded to hire pimply-faced twenty somethings to "slow walk" them across the southern border and into the hands of drug cartels.  The thinking was, we're told, that one or more would be discovered at a crime scene and Obama/Holder could point to it as proof-positive that U.S.-made guns were fueling the Mexican drug crisis.

But a border guard, Brian Terry, was shot dead by one of these guns before the nefarious scheme could unfold.  And it was summarily scrapped and Obama/Holder went into spin-mode in an effort to explain it away.  They couldn't.  And haven't.  

So this same Holder guy is now working for me and all other California taxpayers at the rate of $25,000 a month, to protect us against Trump and the rest of America, while we are breaking the law at flank speed.  The politicians who made the decision to take this tack held up their hands and swore to defend and honor the laws of the United States. Does this sound like their honoring that oath?  Me neither...

Cross your legs, Bossie, cross your legs...

The otherwise-unemployables in Sacramento who get together and pass laws just to have something to do have now outdone themselves.  Ready? They have just decided that a major source of pollution here in La La Land is...ta da!...cow farts!  Yes, my friends, and you are my friends, the methane that leaks out of the back end of cattle is a major source of air pollution.  The experts are saying that 15% of all California pollution comes from the south end of old Bossie. It is estimated that one single cow can produce 130 gallons of methane PER DAY!  

So, they passed a law and Governor Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown signed it into law on September 16th, that dictates that dairy farms must reduce methane emissions to 40% of the 2013 level by 2020.  That's part of the State's new push to reduce our overall greenhouse gas emissions to 80% of 1990 levels by 2050.  Confused yet?  Me too.  

And what about non-dairy cattle?  What about those that get turned into steaks?  Don't they need regulated?  I'm thinking they should stop farting also.  But no, they're not targeted. I'm guessing somebody has something against dairies, which are leaving the state at flank speed.  Of course, once they're gone, we'll be importing our milk and cheese from Nevada or Utah or Arizona, which all have adult supervision and choose not to pass dumbass laws like this one.  And the price we pay for this tomfoolery will go up exponentially, due to the fact that our milk will then be imported from these other states via semi-trailers, which will produce emissions and thus foul the air, and cost two or three times what we're now paying. Which will, of course, negatively impact poor families most of all.

And what happens if cows don't stop farting enough to make the politicians happy? Their owners get fined, just like those who try and stay warm in front of their fireplaces! I don't know about you, but I'm thinking maybe the nice folks who drive around looking for smoke signals coming out of your chimney could somehow be cross-trained to multi-task and include the inspection of bovine buttocks into their bureaucratic repertoire.  I mean, since it's going to cost Californians the $50 Million that Sacramento has budgeted to help get this new money-wasting program kickstarted, we might want to find some way of making it more efficient.

Oh my God!  I'm sorry!  What was I thinking?

Pre-pubescent hookers and their pimps, you're welcome!

Just as I was about to push "publish" and send this little posting off into the ether so that you, my loyal readers, could begin to inculcate the enormous truth that it happily conveys, I was struck by a new and even greater example of dumbassitude!  Ready?

The Democrat-controlled Legislature up there in Sacrascrewyou just passed a brand-new law that makes selling your body quite alright for 12 year-old's.  No, I'm not making this up.  And, if you're a 12 year-old's pimp, you're off Scot-free as well.  It seems they believe that to make a criminal out of a grade-schooler would be bad, so they decriminalized sex with minors and those who help sell them. 

But wait!  What if you're an 18 year-old and you engage in consensual sex with a 16 year-old?  Too bad, pimple face! You're guilty of statutory rape and need to visit the Gray Bar Hotel for an extended visit.  Soooo, consensual sex with a minor gets you hard time, but selling a Girl Scout's body gets both you and the girl an official reprieve.  

Anybody else besides me think this whole mess is a...mess?