Your Car is UgLEEE!

I'd guess your significant other is fairly good looking.

Maybe pretty even, or handsome, as the case may be.  That's likely why you chose to marry them, am I right?

So considering that marriages that end in divorce last an average of 7 years, and new car loans are made for an average of 7 years, with monthly payments averaging $755.00 a month, why did you choose to buy an ugly vehicle?

Think of it this way:  Divorces can cost up to $30,000 or even more.  And new cars cost on average $50,340.  And that $50,000 car will lose half it's value before your loan is paid off.  Making you lose about $30,000.  So the spouse you divorce will still be pretty, but why on Earth would you buy a vehicle that's as ugly as sin?

Did you know that 59.2% of all new vehicles are so-called SUV's.*  And if you add in pickup trucks, which are what SUV's are made on, it's up to 80.4%.  That's 4 out of 5 new buggies that are nothing more than 6,000 pound rolling behemoths.  And from 50 feet away, I'd defy you to tell me who made them.  

Or why...

And don't think I'm leaving 4-door sedans out of the mix.  From that same 50 feet of distance, there's no telling which manufacturer screwed them together.  They all look alike, and that's not a compliment.  Yet they all represent the second largest purchase you'll likely ever make.  

Do you buy an ugly house?  No.  So why buy an ugly car or truck?

Back in my day (I know, there's that 'way back when' thing), cars were beautiful.  They had to be or folks wouldn't buy them.  The designers penned them and the engineers were required to stuff all the bits and pieces into their designs.  Cars like the '57 Chrysler 300C, and the '57 Ford Thunderbird, and the '58 Studebaker Golden Hawk, and the '58 Plymouth Sport Fury (Christine), and the '65 Buick Riviera, and the '58 Chevy Chevelle, and the '60 Ford Starliner, and the '61 Chevy Impala "Bubble top," and the '62 Chevrolet Corvette.  

There are many, many more that I could list here, but suffice it to say they're all selling for 20 or more times their original sticker price on the auction circuit as this bit of fluff is written.

Notice nobody's rehabbing old Teslas.

And to top it all off, each of these '50's and '60's manufacturers had to bring out a brand new car every September.  An all-new model, with an all-new design.  Google the '58 Chevy Impala and then the '59 Chevy Impala.  No two cars could look more different one from the other.  And they both sold in the hundreds of thousands.  Today?  The engineers are in charge.  They tell the design team what to build, and then they do a "refresh" every five years or so.  Just to keep them from updating their resumes and moving on to greener pastures.

My suggestion?  Buy a completely reconditioned '68 - '70 Chevrolet Chevelle for $30,000 or so.  Everyone will drool over your ride, you won't have any trouble at all getting a date, banks will fall all over themselves to grant you the loan, and they're as simple as a rubber.  And if it breaks down, there are more than 120 different companies making replacement parts for those cars.  Plus, you won't lose 50% of their value through depreciation when you drive it off the dealer's showroom floor.  In fact, it will go up in value.  Like Faberge Eggs, they aren't making them any more...

*   Stands for "Sport Utility Vehicle."  Pickup trucks way back when were cheap as dirt.  So to fatten up manufacturer's profits, they started putting van bodies on the back of pickups.  And giving them quasi-sexy names, like SUV's.  And filling them full of options.  And then packing the window sticker with prices upwards of $100,000.  Having owned 127 cars, including most of those listed above, I feel qualified to offer an opinion:  People who buy Chevy Suburbans for $100k need a cranial exam...