Knowing that I, The Chuckmeister, am a certified gunsmith, target shooter, hunter, quick-draw and self-defense quasi-expert, and a scary older dude who'll drop anyone like a bad habit if they get all rude and unseemly, I've been asked several times recently for my suggestions as to which firearm to buy. For both personal protection and home defense. So they could keep body and soul together. In a world where doing that is becoming ever more problematic.
Several of these guys are novices, BTW. Just starting out with guns. And they're a bit nervous about the prospect. Meaning they've been raised to believe that guns are all "baaaad" and should be avoided at all costs (California, doncha' know).
And also that the police will protect them when the wolf's at their door. But they've finally come around to the fact that the police are not there to protect us. They are there rather to mop up the gore and the ugly details, issue an in-depth report, hold a press conference giving the details, while wearing their dress uniforms and begging for more funding. And then close the file cabinet and head on home. Because safely "heading on home" at the end of a shift, safely, did I mention "safely?," is their only priority.
My friends have come to the conclusion they must be able to protect themselves. It's always been that way, but citizens can get lulled into complacency if the crime rates are low and the natives aren't restless. But when the economy sucks and the job market sucks and the gas prices suck and the price of food sucks and everything pretty much sucks, then the crime rate tends to skyrocket and the natives get restless! And it's up to us citizens to defend ourselves against that increasing threat.
Although there are literally thousands of firearms they could choose, for simplicity sake I've boiled it all down for them to three basic types, and a few proven choices:
- Semi-Automatic Pistol: Or, one "bang" for every individual trigger pull. Of the hundreds of different semi-auto pistols out there, I can recommend several. I like the Smith & Wesson "M & P" Model. It's strong, light and available in several calibers. Another excellent choice is the Glock Model 23. It's used for both concealed carry and for home defense. It's also the choice of our Army Airborne Rangers. It features a 4.5" barrel, only 7.5" in length, and a fairly light 23 oz. in weight. Or, the Sig-Sauer 226, the choice of our Seal Teams. And me. It mirrors the Glock, except for a 6" barrel, and the weight's about the same. And lastly, the Ruger "SR" series is also excellent. And inexpensive. And way overbuilt. Plus, it's available in .22, 9mm, .40 and .45.
All of these firearms are priced from $500.00 to about $900.00.
For the novice I'd suggest opting for the 9mm. It's not terribly powerful due to its small (.36) caliber bullet and light powder load. Thus, the recipient of one of its bullets will likely survive unless its a head shot or a center-mass hit (I suggest one of the former and two of the latter...it's called a "double tap"). Most who choose the 9's are trading all-out stopping power for a reduced recoil. The good news is all three gun's clips will hold 10 rounds in Taxifornia (8 for the .45), and up to 17 rounds where people aren't governed by ridiculous, drooling idiots. Like here. I personally prefer the S&W and the Sig, but any of the aforementioned firearms are excellent.
- Revolver: I prefer the S & W 5-shot Model 642 in .38 Special+P. And yes, I'm a Smith & Wesson fan, and no I'm not paid for my opinions. The 642 is made of "Scandium" and weighs only 14.5 oz.! You can acquire it in either hammerless or with a hammer, your choice. For concealed carry the hammerless is preferred (no snagging on clothing). It's also available with a laser in its grip (YES indeed!), enabling you to simply place the red dot on your target...and POOF! The recipient drops like a rock. The .38 +P caliber is almost a .357 in power, and your target will likely have breathed his/her/its last with a decent hit. And it's so small and light you can wear it concealed either as frontal "appendix," or hip, or kidney carry without suffering the consequences. And it's also excellent for women due to its small size and extreme light weight. A good choice especially if your hands are weak with age and you'd have trouble operating a semi-auto pistol's heavy spring slide (like me). Ruger's "SP" Series is also excellent. Heavier, so less desirable for concealed carry. But built for two lifetimes, all calibers, and inexpensive.
Priced around $600 - $750.
- Shotgun: And now here's my suggestion for the least capable firearms handlers out there. If you want to just go to the gun store and buy something, and then take it home and put it in the closet, waiting for somebody to break in, so you can shoot them, this is the gun for you. It takes time and effort and dedication to become proficient with either a pistol or a revolver, or any firearm, for that matter. Lots of time at the range getting used to your new protector. But if you're not willing to invest that time, buy a real Mossberg "Protector." Or the "Defender." Or any of a dozen models. All pretty much the same and with only a few dollars difference in price.
Plan on about $500 - $800, depending upon model.
They are 12 gauge pump shotguns with pistol grips. They're all done up in scary matt black, so Liberals will automatically hate them (like that "automatically" I tossed in there?). Think the one Ahhhnald used in "Terminator." They hold five rounds of nice, round buckshot. Eight of them in each load. Each the size of an M&M. Delivered at about 1,200 feet per second. And a load of buckshot in their butt will convince any burglar to find a new line of work. And the good news is you don't even have to aim them! You simply jack a round into the chamber with that infamous "Cha Chenkkk!," and the perp will do an Olympic record mile in the opposite direction. And if they stick around, just point in the general direction, pull the trigger, and they die! Saving the cost to the taxpayers of a trial. And years and years of incarceration. Think of it as your civic duty...
(NOTE: There's an app available for your phone that you just call up when a Bad Guy tries to break in. It makes that unique - and scary - sound of a pump shotgun jacking a round. It may just make buying a gun unnecessary...)
P.S. If you'd just like a small, light .22 rifle to hunt squirrels and rabbits after the "Balloon" goes up, and maybe defend yourself as well, I'd buy the famous Ruger 10/22 rifle. It's been around for 70 years now, and is the clear favorite for every little boy. And every grown man. And the $300 - $400 or so it'll cost you is reasonable. I have three of them, and my oldest was purchased new 51 years ago. And it looks and operates like the day I bought it.
P.S. #2: Buy all the ammo you can afford. The commies in charge of the once-Great State of California, and every other Deep Blue State, will do all they can to limit or even eliminate your right to buy ammunition. They've finally learned that a rifle or pistol or shotgun without ammunition is nothing but an expensive paperweight. I stopped buying ammo when I couldn't see over or around it. That's why I call my humble abode "Fortress Chuckmeister." *
In the Final Analysis: Any of the above will protect you if handled and used correctly, and they will punch a nasty hole in your assailant. Or in the case of the shotgun, lots of nasty holes. Perpetrators will leak like a sieve! Blood spurting everywhere! Enough holes to ruin their entire day! And possibly the rest of their life! And all you ladies out there, as the great Sam Colt once said, "A .45 Colt will make a 100' woman the equal of a 220' man any day..."
Just imagine, my friends, if you and most of your neighbors acquired this sort of home defense mentality and the word got out. Maybe even put signs in their yards. And then they proceeded to use it! If so, I'm guessing the muggings and the rapings and the murders and the carjackings and the robberies would come to a screeching halt!
A Screeching Halt!
Lastly, I'd advise each of you carry a folding knife with a seat belt cutter and a glass breaker. With a sub-4" blade to stay legal. For those times when a really sharp knife is needed. You can order one from Amazon for under $15.00 and carry it with you always. I do.
I can also make recommendations about hunting weapons and target weapons, BTW. Just shoot me a question and I'll try to answer. In the meantime, just remember...
"When seconds count,
the police are only minutes away."
* I have 7 windows and only 4 sons-in-law. I therefore have 3 windows available to defend when that "balloon" goes up. We can supply the firearms and the ammo, or you can bring your own. Rooms offer on the Modified American Plan. Respondo see vuuu play, macht schnell...
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