"Phlegm"

Does anybody know who decided to spell "flem," "phlegm?"

No?  Well, I don't either, however I heard it might have been the (in)famous Greek philosopher "Arisnotle."  Could be wrong on that one, but hey!  Sounds good, right?

And where does it come from?  I just got over a bout of "RSV" upper respiratory virus, and produced, in my humble estimation, more than 40 gallons of phlegm!  It was a three Kleenex boxer.  It just kept coming, and coming, and coming...

No, I didn't measure it.  Too busy snuffling and snorting and fussing and fuming to do that.  But I can tell you $2.75 for a $1.00 box for Kleenex is waaaay too much...until you need it, that is.  

And what about "Fuchsia?"  Most of us spell it "fuschia."  And most of us would be wrong.

And then there's zucchini, and broccoli.  Don't ever worry about spelling those.  People shouldn't eat that crap anyway...

And how about paraphernalia?  Do you have to have a "phernalia" before you can have a pair?

And what about paradigm, and liaison, and gnaw?  Funny words, those.  And oft misspelled.  Even misspelled is often misspelled.  Gotcha' on that one, didn't I?

And what about my all-time favorite word, "Zzyzx?"  It's a road about halfway from good ol' Orange County, Taxifornia to Lost Vegas, and it's got to be the very best word for Scrabble that ever was.  It's like 65 points, I think.  Haven't had a chance to use it yet, but always on the lookout nonetheless.

Actually, I'm on the lookout for folks to play Scrabble with.  Or with whom to play Scrabble.*  Better grammar, there...

And speaking of "nonetheless," when was the last time you saw that word?  Hmmmm?  You can always count on me...

And, oh yeah, then there's a Black, non-binary (whatever that means) middle school teacher in Oroville, Taxifornia who proudly proclaims that spelling and grammar is itself racist.  Which means, I humbly offer, that everything, EVERTHING is now racist.  Air is racist!  Water is racist!  Dirt is racist!  

Racism is even racist!

So I humbly offer that the way to help folks over their preoccupation with racism might well be to teach them how to spell.  And use grammar, too.  BTW, I had a grammar.  And a grammpar, too... 

*  Never end a sentence with a preposition.  Unless you're an Oroville teacher.  Or unless you just don't give a damn...