Sunday, April 28, 2013

Drip, drip, drip...

Hardly a day passes without some erosion of our rights as American citizens occurring. 

It could be small.  It often is.  But it could also be quite substantial. 

In the aftermath of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, the Left has forged on with flank speed to pass any, any gun control law before the furor amongst the low-information voter subsides.  They want to take advantage, as Barry O'bama's Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel so famously said, by not letting this - or any - crisis go to waste.

Example?  There are many, but let me use recent proposed legislation by NY State's Congressweenie Carolyn McCarthy.  She actually suggested that prospective gun owners be required to purchase liability insurance under her "Gun Owners' Risk Abatement Act," or be subject to a $10,000 fine. 

You read that right.  The "...right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed" in NY State now means you are assumed to be a red-neck, inbred, child-molesting, monotoothed cretin who is likely to do bad things with that awful gun you, for some unearthly and unexplained reason, want to buy, so we must force you to insure yourself and the weapon before that bad thing that's sure to happen, happens.  

We know that the weenies in California are trying their very hardest to tax ammunition purchases, no doubt under the theory that if they make ammo too expensive, gun owners won't be able to exercise their Constitutional rights.  Connecticut legislators just passed a bill that would require you to buy an annual permission slip to buy ammo, which, of course, would come with a stiff fee to afford you that opportunity.  And many of the weeniest states are trying to eliminate the crude and irresponsible act of passing guns on from father to son without an onerous, unnecessary and expensive universal background check to make sure 11-year old little Johnnie isn't a terrorist.

Let's just call this spade a spade (in this hyper-politically correct society, can we still say that?).  The Lefties among us can't quite understand why the One Hundred Million of us gun owners want to own guns.  They think if they just come up with creative little roadblocks to place in our way we'll give up and join their Utopian little, trust the cops and the Gummint to protect us, ranks. 

They are wrong.

But, for the sake of some jocularity, I've decided to help them.  I've come up with a few other plans to help them in their quest.  Nothing head on, mind you, just kind of nibbling around the edges.  So here goes...

The "Anything Black Except People is Bad" bill:  So-called "assault weapons" are black.  If you outlaw the color "black," then people won't be able to buy black weapons.  Ergo, no more assault weapons.  Clever?  I thought you'd like it.

The "No Shooting on Days Ending in "Y" bill:  This little piece of legislation would outlaw the discharge of a gun inside or outside of the city limits of any city, anywhere, on any day ending in "y."  Enough said.

The "Forefinger is Verboten" bill:  Pass this little bill and Americans could no longer use their forefinger to discharge a weapon.  That oughta' slow 'em down!

The "You Have to Eat Everything You Kill" bill:  Except for out-and-out cannibals, this should slow down gang killings in urban paradises like Chicago, Detroit and Camden, Neuwww Jersey.

The "Protecting Animals by Forbidding Aiming" bill:  No more gun sights or telescopic sights would be allowed if this legislation passes.  You have to kind of point the gun and hope.  And if you're unsuccessful, then there's a really good chance you'll simply give up and go to Safeway for your Saran-wrapped packaged meats.  Or, you'll miss your desired target and off some inner-city gangbanger and they'll prosecute the Hell out of you and put you away until Conservatives take power once again. 

Oh, my friends, there are other creative ways to put stumbling blocks in the path of those who would attempt to subvert  our God-given rights.  Maybe you can come up with a few.  Write me with those you recommend.  I'll pass them along to the otherwise unemployables in Sacrarobyou in Round Two in this ongoing screed.  I'm sure they'll appreciate the favor...

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