Monday, September 12, 2011

National Underachievers Day

Folks, in less than two months another anniversary will be upon us. And although we haven't up until now, it's one we as a nation should all be celebrating. Please allow me to elucidate…

As everyone unfortunately knows, the elections' over and Barack Hussein Obama won. Congratulations Mr. Obama on your historic accomplishment. In recognition, I'd like to propose that November 4th, the date you were elected, be forever proclaimed "National Underachievers' Day." No more must those who have heretofore failed to excel be relegated to the scrap heap of mediocrity. You have a new champion! Mr. Obama, with the possible exception of Millard Fillmore, is almost certainly the least qualified candidate for President in the history of our beloved Union. He boasts no private sector employment or record of success. He has no management experience of any kind, not even so much as a running the corner 7/11. He never met a payroll. He never signed a check on its face. He never hired or fired or held executive-level authority. While serving as an Illinois State Senator and during the 143 days (only!) he served as a U.S. Senator before deciding he was worthy of becoming a candidate for POTUS, he sponsored absolutely no major legislation. In fact, most of the time he voted "present" in order to avoid taking a controversial position on legislation. And, although he is Commander in Chief, he never served in our military.

So now, all Americans who could have, and should have, but didn't, work unceasingly to gather the experience necessary to be considered qualified for the Most Important Job in the World, are hereby vindicated. If you share our new President's qualifications, or rather the lack of same, you're just as qualified as is he. You should hold your collective unqualified heads high! In fact, it's not too late for you to launch your exploratory campaign for POTUS - 2012. With Obama's breakthrough, we could have any one of 50 million or so underachievers running for President next time. All they'll need is $1 Billion or so in donations from questionable sources like the unions, a "D" behind their names, a media that chooses not to ask any questions, difficult or otherwise, and the White House could well be theirs. Is America a great place, or what?

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