Monday, March 21, 2011

One Possible Solution

I just had an epiphany. I conjured up a possible solution to the current impasse between the Republican-held governorships, Assemblies and Senates in Wisconsin, Ohio and Indiana, and to an extent New Jersey and Florida, and no doubt others to come, and the public-sector unions in those states.

It seems that the majority of our states are constitutionally required to balance their budgets each and every year. And the recession has made it inordinately difficult to do so of late. We in California know all about that. Since Arnie the Governator promised to "blow up the boxes," California has somehow (mis)managed to go in the toilet to the tune of more than $150 Billion Dollars. That, by the way, is a reeeaaalllllllyyyy big number. But unlike in California, the new governors in the states above listed have begun making the tough choices necessary to save the billions they're upside down. In Wisconsin's case, Governor Scott Walker needs to find $3.7 Billion to balance his budget. And to do so, he's dead set on forcing the public sector union members, with the exception of cops and firefighters (one has to wonder why that exception), to cough up slightly more in individual contributions to help pay for their pensions and their health care benefits. But more than that, just like President Carter with Federal employees, he's planning to eliminate their ability to collectively bargain on anything but wages above any annual cost of living increase. The other states are taking similar measures to rid themselves of red ink. All three states have new laws in the hopper which will accomplish these objectives. The unions are not pleased. In fact, they've been picketing and chanting and singing and sloganeering all day, every day since this tussle began. They've turned the stately old WI Capitol Building into a trash heap, resulting in damages exceeding $8,000,000. It kind of makes one wonder just what these irreplaceable, hard-working, middle-class public-sector Americans do for a living which permits them to take two or three weeks off to protest. It seems to me there has to be an answer to this perplexing problem. And I think I've found it.

The public employee union members should simply convert to Islam. Voila! Instantly they would become sacrosanct and off limits. They would be beyond controversy. We would not be able to judge their actions or motivations, or criticize them in any way, because to do so would be hate speech. They would become a protected class, not to be besmirched in the slightest by the media or leftist zealots or those who revere political correctness. And even if they took that conversion to the maximum, embracing polygamy and stoning and wife beating and honor killings, we still wouldn't be able to complain, because that would be racist. If you doubt that, consider what's happening on Capitol Hill. Rep. Pete King, Chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, is conducting an inquiry into the growing radicalization of young Muslims. His critics consider this inquiry to be racist. He is being called a bigot and an Islamophobe. His life has been threatened. He's under 24-hour guard. And the dinosaur media is excoriating him for his "McCarthy-style" witch hunt against those nice young Muslims. U. S. Rep. Shiela Jackson Lee, D-TX, has even gone so far as to demand that the KKK be investigated right alongside the Muslims, because, once again, to do otherwise would be racist. How many acts of terror has the KKK carried out recently? Oh, never mind.

So all you public-sector union members out there, the answer couldn't be simpler. Convert to Islam and you'll be forever free to live high on the hog, scrutiny free, especially after you retire, at your neighbors' expense. You're welcome.

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