Shall We Call Up "Spooky!"

You'll forgive me if I tend to be a "tab A, slot B" sort of guy.  If there's a problem, those nice Army folks trained me to solve it.  To figure out what was causing the problem, and then to root it out.  Today.  With extreme prejudice...

That stated, if you've noticed as you watch TV, most of the physical spaces currently being occupied by the (don't call them American) Palestinian protestors on our most elite college and university campuses, are all about two blocks-square.  Roughly the size of a football field.  Just over an acre.  Or for those who don't think in terms of acres, about 57,600 sq. ft.  Or about the size of Bill Gate's house.  

So one of those problems the Army had wanted me to resolve had to do with a bunch of nasty commies.  They were all encamped in an area about the size of a football field.  Just about an acre.  In a sensitive spot with innocents all around them.  Civilians we didn't want to smoke.

            So we called in a "Spooky."

Along with the A-10 Warthog, the  AC-130  "Spooky" gunship (also later called the "Spectre" and the "Angel of Death") is among my favorite weapons   It's the heavily armed-up ground attack variant of the Gigondo Hercules transport plane.  It's BIIIG!  97' long, 132' wingspan, a crew of 14 and 4 big Pratt & Whitney engines keep this behemoth airborne for up to 12 hours, and 417 mph, hovering above the target and awaiting an opportunity to drop vehicles or pallets of food or up to 67 fully-loaded airborne troopers.  

Or, in its "Spooky" configuration, to Rain Down Death upon whomever was silly enough to raise our wrath.  

When that op is called in, the "Big C" starts circling the target, hovering on its side, at about 2,000 feet.  Awaiting orders to unleash death.  And then it cuts loose with its 40mm (.165 caliber "Bofors" gun, capable of 125 rounds per minute (rpm).  Or its twin 20mm Vulcan cannons, capable of 7,200 rpm!  Or its 105mm Howitzer, capable of 10 rpm.  The largest gun in the sky!  A shell about the size of a coffee can!  And creates a crater 10 feet across and six feet deep!  

Oh yeah, the recoil from these guns if all fired all at once necessitates keeping the plane hovering at a 45 degree angle.  Or else the recoil would push it out of the sky.  So it just keeps on circling around and around, blasting away at the poor fools on the ground, killing every single thing that moves.  

So the net result of having "Spooky" come to visit is a guaranteed .50 caliber bullet hole in every square foot over an entire acre.  Or, just about the size of a college quadrangle, I'm thinking.  

Are you picking up what I'm laying down?  

We could end all this college radicalization craziness with a simple airstrike.  One at each campus.  And simulfriggin-taneously eliminate this wasted generation of overtaught but under-knowledged students,* in one swell foop, and put down this George Soros bought-and-paid-for protest all at the same time. 

And we could all hear the "Brrrrruuuuuppppppppp!!! of those lovely Vulcans, and the "Thump - Thump - Thump!" of that Howitzer, delivering the Sound of Freedom, buying us all some peace and quiet for a change (and local funeral homes a bunch of new customers!). 

The only loser in this deal is whomever is selling/renting/leasing those identical tents to our loser "students." 

And then we could direct one last raid on George Soros' compound on the south shore of Long Island.  I think it's at Exit 54 on the Long Island Expressway.  Just turn right and head to the Shore.  And then start shooting.

And just like that, problem solved.   

Don't thank me.  It's why God put me here... 

*    For parents of those wussy students, think of the bright side; you won't have to keep on paying that $90,000 a year for a bogus education that does nothing but promulgate foolishness and dummmasssery!