Monday, January 17, 2022

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

What's up with these Aussies?

A lot of us patriotic 'Muricans are sort of shocked by the authoritarian tack the Australian government has taken of late in response to the dreaded Wuhan Chinese Killer COVID Coronavirus.

Authoritarian in the extreme.  

I used to think of our down-under brothers and sisters as good-natured, sort of warm and fuzzy, American-loving Brits, with shorts.  And Kangaroos.  And digeridoos.  And folks who say, "That's not a knife!  This is a knife!"

But no, fellow Patriots.  Our folks "down under" have gone quite nuts.  They are hunting down and locking up people who just go outside for a stroll, in contravention with their draconian anti-COVID lockdown orders.  Having a smoke and a stroll outside against the rules of the State got one guy 10 days in jail.

Yeah.

And we all witnessed the slow-motion train wreck that was the however-you-pronouce-his-name, unvaccinated Serbian tennis star that OZ whipsawed into and out of detention in advance of his quest for a 21st Australian Open Championship.  Can you say P.R. nightmare?  Yes, this bozo shouldn't have lied about being vaxxed on his visa app.  And yes, the Australian government shouldn't have issued him a valid visa.  And yes, the Aussies should have presupposed such a problem and taken steps to avoid it before it blew up in their faces.  And no, the Aussies should not have revoked his visa and sent him packing.  Just in time to watch the Australian Open from his home in Serbia.

I'm betting the Chamber of Commerce in Koala-land is recommending they adopt a change of messaging PDQ ("pretty damn quick")... 

So how did our almost-Brits get so out of control handsy?  Well, I'm give you my opinion, fellow Patriots.  And one I believe to be more than probable.  Here 'tis...

Port Arthur, Tazmania.  That's the answer.  A guy took an AK-47 and went on a killing spree in a campground in this quaint village back in 1996.  He killed 35 and wounded another 32 over a 12-hour period.  It was a slaughter, plain and simple.  And since nobody else was armed, nobody could stop him.  That was the lesson I took away from this mess.  If you want to prevent somebody from picking up a gun and killing a bunch of folks, it's a good idea to make sure there are armed folks nearby to stop it before it can get started.

That was not the lesson the Australian government took away, however.  This bunch of commie pinko dumbass liberal weenies decided to blame the tool, not the user.  They went on an all-out assault on firearms.  Within 9 months they had forcibly confiscated 699,000 guns, of all types, from all over this, the only country that's also a continent.  And considering their relatively small population at the time, and even now, that's a lot of firepower.

But think about it for a minute.  An entire country is now unable to protect itself from all foes, foreign, and especially domestic; as in their politicians and police.  Just like in Cuba and North Korea and China and Germany and France and Venezuela and Mianmar, and so very many other countries whose citizens have been unilaterally disarmed, they've now discovered they are at the mercy of any authoritarian government that happens to come along.

And one just happened to come along.  They just deported what's-his-name because they said "He could cause others to disobey our vaccinations mandates."  While they're holding people against their will in solitary confinement in converted-motel prisons, replete with armed guards and meals delivered twice a day.  Just like we hear the Chinese commies are doing to their problem citizens in Wuhan.  How quickly they went from "warm and fuzzy" to "Gibt meir deine papieren!"  

That's my pretty tolerable G.I. German for "Show me your papers."   

Watch it unfold, America.  Watch what could be your destiny if you permit smooth-talking politicians to romance any of your less-than-bright neighbors out of your firearms.  It won't work for me, I'm quick to say, please don't let it work for you.

Otherwise, we may both have to prove to any authoritarians we aren't to be trifled with.

Elsewise, you may find yourself in a country so afraid of its shadow and so afraid of its leaders that it locks up a multi-millionaire, foreign tennis star so he can't compete for your country's top prize in an international sporting event.  Even Hitler didn't do that to Jesse Owens...

Saturday, January 15, 2022

86.1%

Early in my career in the medical field, I called upon a female obstetrician named Sarampag Abamubeh-Chandalaranathan.  She needed two name tags, taped together.  She loved me, this doctor did, and favored me with all of her business.  This success on my part was due to two factors:  

     One, I took the time to learn to pronounce her name (try it!);

     and Two, I actually asked for the order (polls tell us 80% of salespeople don't!).     

Now, the foregoing has nothing to do with anything, but I thought I'd start off by making you feel better, knowing you don't have to pack around a name like that.  Or have your dinner depend upon pronouncing it correctly.

Or have your dinner depend upon your sales ability.  

So now that you're all softened up, check this out:

The FBI just released statistics telling us that you're 86.1% more likely to be killed by gunfire if you reside in cities of 50,000 population or greater.  Almost double.  That's breathtaking!  Of course, the "MainStreamMedia" isn't reporting it, because it's inconvenient.  Doesn't fit the narrative.  Why?  All of the cities where they reported an increase are run by Democrats!  Here's a short list of cities with all-time record murder rates in 2021:

     -  Albuquerque

     -  Austin (where all the Taxifornians moved)

     -  Baton-Rouge

     -  Columbus

     -  Indianapolis

     -  Louisville

     -  Philadelphia

     -  Portland (well, duh!)

     -  St. Paul

     -  Tucson

Annnnnd, fellow Patriots, these are in addition to historically dangerous and high murder-rate, Democrat-run cities like Baltimore, New York City and Chicago.  All saw records fall in 2021, including Chicago with 797 firearm murders as reported by their police (Chicago Sun Times reported 857!).  Basically, it's more dangerous to walk the streets of the south and west side of Chicago than it is Baghdad or Mogadishu.

Sooooo, after more than 20 years of falling murder rates, we saw a shocking increase last year.  An almost doubling.  Why?  Who's to blame?  How do we stop it?

I don't know the answers to all these questions, but I do know one thing for damn sure: you're far safer in small-town America, and you're far safer in a town run by Republicans...

Thursday, January 13, 2022

Chuckmeisterly Observations, Circa 2022...

Well now, my Pretties!  My little "Predictions" efforts have been so well received, so roundly applauded, so joyously inculcated, that I think I'll burst forth with some "Observations" I've been conjuring up of late.  

Not fifth, forth. 

They're not Earth-shattering observations, to be sure,  but I sometimes even amaze myself with my occasional flashes of brilliance!  Not too often, mind you, but occasionally.  As they say, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now and again.  And here, I believe you'll agree, are some of my better little acorns, or "Observations," accumulated over the years, and catalogued for just such an important occasion as now.  Here goes...

     -  Never judge a man 'til you've walked a mile in his shoes.  Then, if you still find him wanting, you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes...

     -  I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six.

     -  There was a time when American car makers owned 100% of the American car market.  And why the Hell not, I would ask?  Now?  Less than 30%.*  Seems they're guilty of doing the same thing over and over, and over, and selling less as a result. 

     -  Never worry about anything over which you have no control.

     -  Life is a terminal condition.

     -  I'd like to apologize today for being White.  I'd like to, but I won't.

     -  Who was the guy who decided that "flem" should be spelled, "phlegm?" 

     -  Someone honked at me the other day to try and get me to move from my parking space faster.  Funny, I thought.  Now I'll have to wait in that spot until one of us dies. 

     -  I keep wondering when the "Big One" will hit and everything east of the San Andreas Fault will fall into the Atlantic...

     -  The current death rate for hospitalized pediatric COVID patients is somewhere between 0.00%, which is, like, none, and 0.02%, which is like, ummm, damn few!  

     -  Trying to make a poor man rich by making a rich man poor is like standing in a bucket and trying to pull yourself up by the handles.

     -  There are 2.8 million stone blocks in the Great Pyramid of Giza.  Each of those blocks weighs between 17.5 and 80 tons, and comes from more than 500 miles away.  We are told it was commissioned by Top Guy Khufu upon his inauguration 4,500 years ago and had to be completed within 20 years, before he died.  Without iron or bronze tools, or  beasts of burden, or even the wheel!  Just human labor.  A little simple math will tell that if all of the above is true, a multi-ton block had to be laid every 2.5 minutes, 24 hours-per-day, 7 days a week.  Proof of ancient alien intervention, anyone?

     -  How to fire someone:  "Tony, we don't know what we'd do without you.  But starting tomorrow morning, we'd like to try."

     -  The FBI tells us that 86.1% of all the firearm killings occur in cities with populations of over 50,000.  Not surprising that citizens are beating feet to cities of under 50,000 population.  

     -  Come to think of it, we should abolish the death penalty and simply give our really bad felons a one-way ticket to south Chicago, the Murder Capital of America (797 last year, an all-time record).  Same results, most likely...

     -  I'm kind of wondering about the I.Q. of those who would trade real dollars for made-up money like Bitcoin.  If they really want some fake money, they should park out front of a 7/11 on a Saturday night.  They can find all the counterfeit money they want. 

     -  Ever wonder why we should have to give $11 a month to those wonderful charities that buy homes for our disabled vets and first-responders?  We pay out nearly $89 Billion a Year in foreign aid.  Don't you think we should remember that charity begins at HOME? 

     -  Joe O'Biden is exhorting Congress to get rid of the filibuster.  He says that it's everything bad and nothing good.  Funny, Democrats used the filibuster 328 times between 2019 - 2020.  Hypocrite much?

     -  Note to V.P. Harris, it's better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.  

     -  I always figured it was a good idea to believe in God, and make those beliefs known.  If there's no God around when you take your celestial discharge, you'll never know it.  But if there is...

*   General Motors, which at one time enjoyed a more than 70% share of the American auto market, and is still our largest in terms of absolute share, now languishes at 17%.  I guess they enjoy getting their asses continually kicked... 

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

A Peek Into 2022...

Those of you who choose not to invest the time, effort and energy necessary to absorb all the latest political news out of the Democrat National Committee and their hand-maiden "Corporate Media" during the New Year, and exactly what they have in store for you, the voters, I, The Chuckmeister, have compiled a short, but complete peek into their 2022, pre-Election messaging.

Yes, I know.  Long sentence.  Get over it.

Ready?  Here goes...

     -  Trump!  Voting rights!  January 6th!  Trump!  Insurrection!  Build Back Better!   Racists!  January 6th!  Riot!  Insurrection!  Riot!  White Nationalism!  Trump sucks!  January 6th!  Trump!  Insurrection!  January 6th!  Guns bad!  Felons good!  Trump!  More mandates!  Fair share!  January 6th!  Racism!  Voting rights!  Trump sucks!  Reparations!  Global warming!  White nationalism!  January 6th!  The Border is closed!  What Border!  Immigration problem, what problem?  Trump!  January 6th!  Trump!  Racism.  Voting rights!  Fair Share!  January 6th!  Trump!

Got it?  No need to thank me.  It's why God put me here... 

Sunday, January 9, 2022

"Predictions," Part Deux...

Whew!  I, The Chuckmeister, was simply whelmed by the tens and tens of responses I received to my recent "Predictions" posting.  And yes, one has to be whelmed before one can  become overwhelmed.  Just sayin...

Anyhoo, respondents have been absolutely clamoring for more of my sage prognostications.  And so, I humbly submit.  Here are a few more possible peeks into 2022 from my near bottomless pit of inanities for your cringeworthy-ness:

     -  Bigfoot will see me in the New Year, but nobody will believe him. 

     -  California will finally complete its ten years past-due, $100 Billion Dollar "Bullet train," potentially transporting people from where nobody wants to be (Barstow), to where nobody wants to go (Modesto).  Our Boy Guv will demand that the new definition of "bullet" be changed to 35 mph.  

     -  MSNBC will hire a few White People and grudgingly decide to occasionally talk about something other than racism.  But not too often.

     -  Every swimmer on every men's collegiate swimming team in the New Year will be a male, and every swimmer on every females team will also be a male.

     -  Joe O'Biden will attempt ban all firearms with an Executive Order.  America's owners of nearly 500 million firearms...will collectively yawn.

     -  O'Biden will appoint his son Hunter as Ambassador to China in 2022.  A Government jet will make it easier for him to ferry home all his riches from influence peddling.

     -  Somebody will tell O'Biden that the "unpleasantness" at the Capitol last January 6th was not an "armed insurrection."  Nobody was armed, and it wasn't an insurrection.  He'll go, "Oh..."

     -  And Karmala will also be shocked to learn in 2022 that nobody died as a result of the January 6th riot.  Five people died within a few days of the event, but from mostly natural causes.  Oh, except for Ashlii Babbitt, that is, an unarmed tourist who was murdered in cold blood by Lt. Michael Byrd, a Capitol Policeman.  Dwell on that for a minute...

     -  And last, but faaaar from least, San Fran Nan Pelosi will retire from Congress after 64 years.  She will then announce a post-retirement career as a member of Lin Manuel Miranda's new dance troupe to open on Broadway in the New Year.  I hear it'll be called, "The Insurrection Follies."

Yeah, I know.  I need professional help.  But since I'm a professional, the requirement is hereby waived...

Friday, January 7, 2022

"Chuckstradamus" Predictions, Circa 2022...

'Tis a Brand New Year.  And people for some strange reason make resolutions of things they intend to do or hope to happen in the coming months.  And speaking of resolutions, I know you've been waiting for mine.  They arrive about this time every year.  And so, without further ado, or even a don't, Ta Da!!!

The Annual Chuckmeisterly Predictions, circa 2022!  This is where I publicly prognosticate as if I had any idea what the Hell I'm talking about, and you read it because you don't have anything better to do.  Right?

Right.

So, fellow Patriots, here we go:

     -  Kamala the Veep will have her incredibly annoying laugh reflex removed in a short, outpatient surgery during the New Year.  So then, when she needs to buy time to figure out what next to say, instead of baying like a rented mule, she will have a choice of, "Ya know?," and "Nomsayin?"  We'll keep you informed of the outcome as the news comes in...

     -  The price of gasoline in the New Year will be so awfully, historically, manically, indelibly high, that the DNC-bootlicking "MainStreamMedia" will begin reporting its price...in quarts.  Just like Europe does.  The have always wanted us to be more like Europe, so I guess they'll be happy...

      -  People in the New Year will begin swearing off meat and embracing veggies.  That's because the price of meat will keep going up and up, and all but the privileged few will be able to afford it.  Then, those same swells will attempt to convince the little people that being a vegan is avante garde.

      -  The Washington Football Team will adopt a new name.  It's permanent name will become, "The Washington Football Team."  Its haters will howl in protest.  What else is new?

      -  Teacher unions will vote to require their members to teach from home from now on.  They can teach through Zoom, they will argue, with complete and total safety from infection from that dreaded COVID.  And all other viruseseses and bacteria that might present themselves in the future.  And "complete and total safety" is what our society is now demanding for them, right?  

     -  Road maintenance will cease, as will all new road construction.  That's because nobody will be driving, because nobody will be buying gas, so nobody will be paying gas taxes necessary to build and maintain roads.  But nobody will notice, because nobody will be driving.  But I repeat myself...

     -  The term "customer service" will no longer be used starting in 2022.  That's because it doesn't exist anymore.  There's nobody at Customer Service to answer those infuriating phone trees to solve your perplexing problems.  And if there were, they couldn't.  Because the really important problems, the ones that cause 80% of the grief, are unsolvable.  So let's simply excise that term from our lexicon now, shall we? 

     -  Sometime late in the year the President of Guatemala will resign from office, declaring that since every Guatemalan had relocated to the United States, there will be no longer a need for the country.  He indicated his neighboring countries, including Venezuela, may soon do the same.  I'm guessing space in Texas and Arizona and New Mexico will be at a premium...

     -  Since the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Division of our Country has been told to stand down by Sleepy Joe, preventing it from catching or deporting any illegal Bad Guys for some strange reason, and since the Border door has been swung Wide Open for a year now, permitting some 2.2 Million Illegal Aliens to visit, permanently, I predict O'Biden will simply shut it down in 2022, saving more than $17 Billion Dollars a Year.  Yes, I know it's a long sentence.  I specialize in them. 

     -  Joe O'Biden will sue Jeff Dunham, the famous ventriloquist.  That's because his dummy "Walter" looks exactly like Joe.  And Joe doesn't like it.  But Dunham argues he had his dummy before Joe became the...dummy.  So Dunham will likely countersue.  Stay tuned for more info. 

     -  Aliens will land on the White House lawn in 2022.  And I'm not talking about the "illegal" kind.  I'm talking those little UFO critters.  They'll ask for Joe, but he'll be on vacation in Delaware, hiding from the press.  Oh well, another opportunity he will have wasted...

     -  There will be a minor revolt in 2022 by many of the electric vehicle owners when they finally learn that fully 54% of all the power they use to recharge their little toy cars comes from...GULP...coal and oil and natural gas!  They're supposed to be saving the planet, right?

     -  And finally, San Fran Nan Pelosi will retire from Congress in 2022 and return home to the dung heap called San Franpoopco.  And immediately run for Mayor, promising to "clean things up."  The more things change, the more things will stay the same, I guess...

So there, fellow Pilgrims, is your Predictions for 2022.  I guarantee no accuracy here, but I promise I'll come close on one or two.  Which would be a hoot in and of itself...

Wednesday, January 5, 2022

A Deal With the Greys:

Dwight D. Eisenhower, retired 5-Star General of the Armies and our 34th President of these here United States, was taking a much-needed little golfing vacay in Palm Springs over the weekend of February 20th, 1954.  

Exceppppttt, he disappeared for a period of more than 12 hours during that same time frame.  Nobody knew where he was.  The Press Corps went nuts trying to find out what happened to the Prez!  The White House Press Secretary issued a terse statement saying he'd had a "dental emergency" and sought treatment in Las Vegas.  Why he would need to go there as opposed to finding professional medical help in Palm Springs, a cosmopolitan city, was not immediately known.  But that was the official line.  Las Vegas, dental emergency, 'nuff said.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.  Have a nice day.  

Exceppppttt, the word leaked out over the decades since and it seems Ike may have been in Vegas for another reason entirely; he was meeting with extraterrestrials.

It seems that Ike accepted an invite from the "Greys" to confab.  I gather they were there to negotiate a treaty under which a technology exchange would occur.  They'd give us all the neat stuff we'd need to go real fast and scare off the Soviets and land on the moon, and because they  needed help in restoring their reproductive capabilities, they'd get to "welcome aboard" a few of our citizens upon whom they'd do some helpful experimentation.  Without hurting them, of course.  That goes without saying...  

Or so we've been led to believe.

Are you buying that?  Well, it makes a lot of sense if you think about it.  These critters have been flying around for eons checking us out.  And with increased frequency since we blew a big hole in Japan.  With a nuclear weapon.  Some believe they had a hand in creating, or at least "updating" us, so I guess they didn't want their handiwork, their "zoo," destroyed.  So they also cut a deal with Ike to reduce the number of weapons in the world, and they'd give us great techno wizardry in exchange.

It has come to be called "The Greato Treaty."  

Notice, Ike laid the groundwork for what later became "SALT," the Strategic Arms Limitations Talks." They've forced a slow, but steady reduction in nukes continuing through until today.  Cause and effect?  You decide.

Oh yeah, and if you need some additional proof that Ike and the Greys smoked the peace pipe, Laura Eisenhower, Ike's great-granddaughter, says it actually happened, and just exactly the way I've reported above.  She said her Grandad told her all about it.  She's a well-respected author and director, so a nut case she's not. 

So, if you wonder why the Federal Gubmint seems to never see or be concerned by these little saucer thingies dancing all over our skies, while we citizens see them every single day, this little scenario would tend to answer the question, "Why?"  Could it be "Willful blindness?"  You be the judge.

But if you aren't picking up what I'm laying down, consider this: the fastest thing we had in 1947, when the (in)famous Roswell, NM crash is supposed to have happened, was a P-51 Mustang.  They flew at about 400 mph.  Yet, within a decade after Ike's purported meeting with the Aliens in 1954, we had transistors, and lasers, and satellites, and microprocessors, and computers, etc., etc., etc.  And another decade later we flew to and landed on the Moon!  Did we come up with all that super high-tech wizardry on our own?  Are we that smart?  Really?

Strange, fellow Patriots, but true.  Don't believe it?  Shame on you!  The Chuckmeister would nevah, evah lead you astray.  Google it for yourself, fellow Pats, and then slap yourself for ever doubting me.......