Just Pretend You Didn't Read This...

I told you in my last posting that there are a few things in life which royally piss me off.  Like paying to park a car.  That's just rude.  And here's another one...

I've always wondered why it seems nearly everybody charged with a crime winds up pleading it down to a lesser charge.  On TV mainly.  Not too many crimes pled down here at Fortress Chuckmeister.

It seems they get probation instead of incarceration, and with a smaller crime to boot.  Or drop a few charges off the booking to give the perp a reason to play along.  To plead "guilty," step outside the booking program, and let the court system do its thing.

So, having enough available time to research the myriad  things which piss me off these days, I decided to research this one.  And Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, I was right.  The System sucks.  I shouldn't have investigated it.  And here are the statistics...

California has 366,000 laws on its books.  All sorts of laws.  Laws which can and do take your freedom and/or your money.  But the primary thing the System can take is your FREEDOM.

That may not mean anything to you until you learn that the Federal Gubmint, yours and mine, has only 300,000 or so laws on its books!  For 51 states.  And New York comes in at Number Two with 264,000 laws.  Illinois is Third with 179,000.  So you know now what you always suspected; Taxifornia's in the business of ruining your life if it wants to, with crimes you never even heard of.  So just throw up your hands, give it your money, and consider taking the U-Haul Exit.  Like more than 1,000,000 of your friends and neighbors have done over the past few years. 

As the famous prosecuting attorney once said, "You show me the man, and I'll show you the crime."

And it took me over two hours of digging to learn how many laws the Feds have.  Because the Gubmint doesn't make it easy.  They don't give out that statistic.  I had to visit every one of the Gubmint's Cabinet secretaries' websites and total them up.  Plus all the other 45 agencies, regulatory bodies and departments.  

Our police here in Taxifornia can arrest you for any or all of its multitudinous laws, except I think we're safe from that.  Because our police and sherriffs' duputies don't know anything about them either.  The 6 months of Cop School only teaches them about the ones that rake in the dough.  DUI's, speeding, careless and reckless, and elicit drugs are the ones that bring in the bucks.  Not the other umpty-thousand laws.

But then the fun starts.  95% of all our arrests for felonies are pled down to a lesser charge!  Often to misdemeanors.  85% of all civil matters are as well.  And when they're arrested they're let out the back door within hours due to bail bonds being levied and posted.  "No cash" bonds, or even "Own Recognizance" bonds (O.R) will be used.  The perp is sprung before the arresting cops can even finish their booking report.

Which really pisses them off, BTW.

And yet, get this, 1 out of 8 of those bounced out catch another charge while out on bond.  Which may violate the bond or cause another higher one to be issued.  More money for the courts and more money for the bonding companies.  And fully 20% of them fail to appear at court for trial!  Which forces the court to issue bench warrants for their arrest.  That's why cops always ask for your I.D. when they confront you.  They're looking for bail jumpers so as to bring them in.

Want to know the average number of arrests before a perpetrator gets some Hard Time in the Big House?

                                     31!  

They say recidivism is rampant.  Wouldn't you think that punishing a criminal from the very first crime would serve as a meaningful deterrent?  I do!

Would you like to know how many accused murderers are out on bond here in balmy Taxifornia, but have failed to appear?  And now have a murder warrant hanging over their heads?  

                         2,900!

Now you know why so many people flee from the cops when the blue lights come on.  Who wants to get arrested for a murder charge?

Add that to the other 126,000 that have warrants on them due to failure to appear, and you have a yuuuge number of felons wandering our streets.  Many just looking for people upon which to prey.  The same streets you and your family frequent, perhaps.  I told you not to read this!

So why do the courts let hardened criminals out on bond if they know they're hardened criminals?  

  There's no place else to put them!  

And why don't more criminals opt for jury trials?  They could, and maybe should.  But court officials tell us it would bring our judicial system to its knees if they did!  Not enough judges, not enough court rooms, not enough prosecutors or enrolled defense attorneys, or even hours in the day.  So they let them out on bond instead, to prey on you and me.

There's that, and the fact that the plea bargain between the perp's lawyer and the D.A. provides an upper limit on years of incarceration, while a jury trial might carry with it two or three times the prison sentence the plea bargain offers.  

And why don't they build more courtrooms and jail cells?  Not enough money.  And our Democrat-controlled legislature here in the once-Golden State wouldn't appropriate it anyway.  Because Democrats think jails should be abolished.  They don't believe anyone should be incarcerated, and that all those in jail and prison right now should be released!  Our BoyGuv ("Hairgod") Newsom has already let out 92,000 hardened felons.  And he's closed 13 prisons during his tenure, at a time when we need more.  He's also put into motion a plan to shut down San Quentin, our oldest and largest prison, and turn it into a day care center for the newly-released prisoners.  Basketball courts and weight rooms and baseball diamonds and TV rooms, etc.  I'm sure they won't reoffend.  Rigggghhtt!  

Prison gives you free room and board, and free meals, and free TV, and free medical care.  Sounds better and better, now don't it?  Maybe old folks who are being starved out should do a faux bank robbery.  They'd be taken care for the rest of their lives.

And while we're on the subject of Newsom, he's signed some 125 anti-gun Executive Orders since taking office.  Including outlawing all Glock pistols, even though most of our police carry them.  More than 89,000 in cops' holsters right now.  His mantra is turning loose hardened felons and then making it tougher for us to defend ourselves against them.      

                          Gulp!  

We have 93,000 state jail cells here in Taxifornia.  And another 87,000 county and city jail cells, not to mention those under Indian Affairs, the Federal Gubmint, and Navy/Army lockups.  And there's 200,000 inmates +/- in all those prison cells at anyone time, they tell us.  They should have the room, but tell us they don't.  The math ain't mathin' to me... 

So somebody jacks your car or picks your pocket or sticks a gun in your ribs and gets arrested.  He's booked and charged, and then meets the judge for a probable cause hearing.  He's let loose because, "Hey, he's not such a bad guy!  Let's give him another chance."  And they do.  Over and over and over again.  Because Democrat judges, of which we an abundance here, are bleeding heart Libs.  They let him loose on bond.  With usually 10% o 15% of its face value.  Meaning, a $10,000 bond requires $1,000 - $1,500 up front.  And you never get it back, even if you show up for court.    

And since it's only a few weeks before the guy's or gal's hearing, that's some dammmmd high interest rate!  But if the guy's a bail jumper, the bail bondsman's on the hook for the entire bond amount.  He'll then send his bounty hunter thugs to find the perp and drag him in to court.  And they're not subject to the nicities of a cop or deputy.  They operate under the same rules of procedure that 1850's bounty hunters did.  They'll break down doors and beat the Bad Guy half to death if necessary.  They're not deterred by the Constitution's guarantees or Rights.  A word to the wise...

 

A bonding agency will take the upfront cash and usually a surety arrangement with the perps mom and dad on their house for the rest.  They're there to give out bonds, and they'll do so for the most rotten among us.  And they don't make bad deals or they wouldn't stay in bizz.  Bail bondsmen make tons of money, all due to our court System managing 10 times the number of criminals it's designed to serve.

And over and above all that are the charges for court fees (a few hundred bucks), the defense attorney (a few thousand bucks), a "no start" device attached to your car to prevent you from driving if you've been drinking ($hundreds a month), and the "SCRAM" device attached to your ankle to monitor alcohol intake (another few thousand), etc.  So the perp likely loses his job, if he had one, and now has no way to pay all the charges and assessments and fees for the court-demanded remedies.  A downward spiral.  Too bad, so sad.  His problem.

Fellow Patriots, here's a System that's designed to fail. But because everybody up and down makes money on it, except the arrestee, seemingly nobody cares.

Plus, nearly every arrestee winds up with a hundred or two hours of "community service" to punish him.  And most don't complete it all.  Which is a bond violation in and of itself.  Causing the perp to be dragged into court once again.  A few hundred hours could be half a year.  Can't get and keep a job if you're busy helping out at the soup kitchen, now can you?

So here's the Bottom Line:  More than 9 out of 10 of those arrested are promptly released on bond, many to offend again while on release.  With no real penalty for doing so because the same or a similar (and higher) bond will be issued several times.  With no real anticipation that it will help them change their lifestyle.  Which is the supposed goal.  Because being a criminal in America IS a lifestsyle!  They're crooks!  That's what they do for a living.  They factor in the risk of getting caught and doing the time before they do the crime.  There's nearly a million arrests here in CA every year, and nowhere to put them.  So our judicial system has come up with a unique turnstyle System to handle them.  In the front door and out the back.  Kacching!  Get used to it.

Finding out all this crap has given me a headache.  It's shattered my closely held beliefs and expectations as well.  I used to have faith in our legal System.  No longer.  I wish I hadn't done the research.  I wish I hadn't written all this stuff.  And I wish I hadn't published it, either.  I've got an idea.  I'll pretend I didn't write it, and you pretend you didn't read it.  Okay?

We'll both be farting through silk!   

  

The Protestant Reformation.

For most of the last 1,700 years, there have been only 3 primary religions.  Catholicism, Judaism and Islam. 

And then Protestantism became a thing.

Protestantism had yet to be born until 1519.  Until that fateful day when an (in)famous monk name Martin Luther hammered home a list of 95 bitches he had with the Catholic church.  He put them high up on the big wooden door of his Wittenburg, Germany monestary.  Apparently he'd got up on the wrong side of his wooden bed that morning and decided to send out an early type of email.  Without thinking it over a couple of times before actually pushing "publish."

He was explicit.  I mean, 95?  That's a lot of stuff to be mad about when you're a monk, doncha' think?  I'd think it would be more like 5.  Or maybe 15.  But 95?  And it pissed off the Pope.  Badly.  And Popes don't like folks who show their asses in public.  

So the Pope quickly excommunicated him.  Threw him right out of both the monastery and the faith.  Kicked him to the curb, he did.  And off he went into obscurity.  He then got married, had 6 kids and went to work in a supermarket.  I was kidding about supermaket thing.  But all the rest is gospel.  Ahem... 

And thus began the "Protestant Reformation."

But from that day on, "protests" aimed at the Catholic church created a surprising number of different churches.  Different "denominations," as they are called, that had at their foundation a complaint with the way Catholics do things.  And, believe it or not, those complaints have grown to almost 400 different denominations of Protestantism here in America.  From Pentacostalism on the far left, to Mormonism on the far right.  With all the Lutherans and Baptists and Methodists preaching the gospel in the middle.  

Did you know that French king Louis XIV petitioned the Pope to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon, 'cause she couldn't produce him a male heir?  I'd think he had some fault in that also, but that's just me.  The Pope declined to do so.  So Louis started his own religion back in the 1400's.  The ultimate, "Take that!"  Identical to Catholicism except you could divorce your spouse at will.  He called it the "Church of England."  Catchy, doncha' think?

And if you think that's a silly reason to start your own church, picture this: the only major difference between the Baptists and the Methodists these days is that one of them celebrates communion once a month, and the other does so every Sunday.  And the Baptists say they don't drink as much.     

Did you know some members of the Church of Christ talk in tounges and kiss snakes?  I thought the Tower of Babel cured all that.  And did you read that one of their leaders got bitten and died recently?  I guess God does not protect those who don't protect themselves.

The Calvinists abstain from both alcohol and the use of foul language.  Making their lives a living Hell.  They better make sure they're marrying the right spouse, 'cause they can't get drunk and yell at them.  And some, like the Amish, eschew all modern inventions, like razor blades and automobiles.  They favor horses and buggies to cars.  No burnouts or donuts for them.  400 denominations.  And they all believe that Jesus is their savior.  I wonder if He'd be pleased with all those choices?  Somehow I doubt it...

Did you know what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormonism) is based upon?   One Joseph Smith, a young lad in Upstate New York back in the 1,800's, was stopped in his tracks by the Angel Moroni, who showed up unannounced one winter evening.  The Angel ordered Joseph to dig in his cow pasture.  He did so and found golden tablets, they tell us, upon which was written the Book of Mormon.  Which they say is an addition to the New Testament.  The Book is still around but the tablets have conveniently disappeared.

BTW, Mormonsim tells us the Garden of Eden was located just outside of Independence, Missouri.  Well, my friends, I come from that part of the Country and I can tell you that my God is too smart to put the Garden there.  Where you can freeze to death during one third of the year.  And broil during another third.  Anywhere but there, in fact.

That's why I'm FROM there.  As in, waaay FROM. 

My mom had two sisters.  Aunt Isabel and Aunt Laverne.  One was a member of the Southern Church of Christ, a particularly strict denomination, and the other a member of the Northern Church of Christ.  Same denomination, different factions.  I recall them having a heated argument one day in our living room.  Isabel told Laverne toward the end of the spat, "One of us is going to Hell!"  Laverne shot back, "You're right!"  That's just how divided these demominations can be. 

Check out your bible.  Matthew 6: 5-6 states that, "Lo, you are in church if you're on your knee, in your closet, praying to God."  I rather like that.  And then later, Genesis 16-18 speaks of Jesus' baptism by Peter.  Jesus looked at Peter and said, "Upon this rock I shall build my church."  I think he meant that Peter was his rock, not the ground upon which they both stood at the time.  (The Catholic church agrees with me, BTW.)  

But His wishes have not been honored.  We have churches on every street corner.  Not as many as Starbucks has coffee shops, but close.  Built with the tithes of their followers over many centuries.  I've had the opportunity to tour all the great cathedrals of Europe, including the famous Notre Dame de Paris.  Before the fire.  Very impressive.  And expensive to build.  And paid for by peon parishioners over a thousand years.    

Jesus was totally against all the myriad ostentatious vestiges of Judaism, including the tax collectors at the Temple.  Flowing robes and all that.  He wanted more simple, humble trappings to express his followers' religious fervor.  But that's not what He got.  He got what the ego of legions of spiritual leaders conjured up.  It seems that anyone can start a church in a strip mall.  And then move on to a megachurch with tens of thousands of followers over time.  Usually the guy running it will be a dude with flowing hair, remanufactured teeth, a big expensive car, custom fitted suits, a deep baritone voice and a private jet.  

I just threw up in my mouth.  Excuse me.

And even Catholicism has its variants.  Some of its more conservative examples still conduct their services in Latin.  Like Mel Gibson prefers.  Imagine having to learn a foreign language in order to express your faith.  And some feature priests in jeans with a back-up band.  I think they think they've been left behind.  And they're catching up rapidly.

I have a 10 year perfect attendance pin from the Sunday school back in my home town.  And that was in the "First Christian Church."  I wonder if, like banks, there's a  "Second Christian Church" somewhere?  Anyway, people may now pick their protestant church like ordering from a Chinese restaurant menu.  One from column "A," and two from column "B..."  

From what I see there's a growing interest in religion in America.  I think some feel our society is falling apart.  Which it truly seems to be.  So folks are starting to attend church in huge numbers, especially after the assassination of Charlie Kirk.  They think they need it.  I think everybody needs it.  Religion, that is.  And I believe that there's a strong reason for them to attend.  That's because our young folks are stuck at home with their noses in their laptops instead of practicing their pickup lines, going out and meeting future spouses.  And producing big families.  Even bars are better than hanging around in your mom's spare bedroom.

I'm just at odds with formally attending church for the rest of us who've got our lives ironed out.  I don't need it.  I've read the Bible twice.  I know what it says.  I don't need an interpreter.  I do my study at home, at my leisure.  Reading my Bible at a time convenient to me.  I don't need to dress up and impress anyone.  Plus, like many others, I'm not as mobile as I used to be.  So getting to and from presents an unneeded challenge.  No need to be seen to be religious.  That's what Jesus advocated.   

And that's good enough for me.

There's This One Thing...

There's this ONE thing that's been bothering me for quite awhile.  Actually, there are several, but there's this one in particular.

German psychology professor William Stern created the I.Q. system way in back in 1905.  He decided for his theory that the average human had an I.Q. (Intelligence Quotient) of 100.  Those smarter would be higher on the I.Q. scale, those less bright would be lower.  Those with an I.Q. of say 135 - 140 would be considered brilliant, and those with an I.Q. of 71 - 80 would be as dumb as a bag of hammers.  But still be able to ring up your hot dog at the 7/11.  Or deliver your mail.  

You get it, right?

And then there's Alfred Binet.  He was a French psychologist who took what Stern had developed and folded it into useful intelligence testing.  He would divide physical age through mental age to get the actual I.Q.  

So having majored in Psychology (and economics), and having tested hundreds of my fellow 'Muricans on what later became known as the "Stanford-Binet I.Q. Test" to determine their level of smarts, I figured I had this whole thing down pat.  Or is it "Pat?"  Who's Pat, again?  Sorry, I don't know.  Where were we?  Oh yeah...

Even after having accumulated some 60 hours of college psyc as an undergrad, some of them 500 level,* which is hard to do, I can tell you.  I assumed that Dr. Binet was right; the average 'Murican's score was about 100.  Turned out I might have been right back then, but no longer.  The world has changed...

How did I determine I was waaaay off base?  The Internet.  Once that the Chinese Wuhan Killer Corona Virus hit, and hit hard, everyone was ordered to go home, close and lock the doors behind them, pull down the shades and hide under the bed until further notice.  But put on their laptops, or their hand held phones, and vacuum up all the available info their little hearts desired.  Watch the news, they were instructed, or Facebook, or TikTok, or Instagram, whatever.  But be sure to wear your face mask all the while.   

It was as if a switch was flipped.  I sensed for some time that our educational establishment was failing us, and that we were graduating barely functional, semi-prepared losers, but the Virus confirmed it.  And God, what I saw was startling!

The average 'Murican doesn't score 100 in my opinion.  Not even close!  Maybe 85 or 90, but nowhere near 100.  And going down.  Rapidly.  In short, I don't think our average neighbor, yours and mine, could pour piss out of a boot!  Like Senator John Kennedy recently said about our Congressweenie Alex Ocasional-Cortex, "She's why they put instructions on a bottle of shampoo."  Not just her, Senator, perhaps about half of us.

Oh yeah, AOC is the only bartender who never brought anything to the table.  Ahem...

Get on the 'Net and take a look.  You'll see if you pay attention that people really don't know what's happening in the world today.  They get their news from TikTok.  And TikTok isn't a news source.  It's for entertainment.  They might be entertained, but they are not enlightened.  Or educated.  And they show it.  I grew tired of watching the people riding by on their bicycles while wearing a mask.  Or separating themselves by 6 feet in lines at the supermarket, paper masks covering everything but their noses.  Paper.  With holes in them large enough for a bacteria to walk through sideways.  The holes in paper masks, BTW, are 50,000 times larger than a virus.  They were designed to corral bacteria, not viruses.  Look it up if you doubt me.  We were being bullshi*ted by our supposed "leaders," and I knew it.

Unfortunately, few others did.

And with our schools closed for two years, and our kids forced to learn via Zoom, I feel we made our children dumber.  Think about this; the LAUSD, or Los Angeles Unified School District, is our very largest.  It tries to corral 520,000 L. A. County school age children with an $18.7 Billion Dollar budget.  And leadership which never had an original thought.  

And does it work?  No!  The LAUSD graduates only 44% of its students!  Every year.  And nobody in power cares, because their kids don't go there.  Their kids are in private schools.  The same ones they publicly denegrate.  And the teachers' union demands more money to fix the problem they've created.  It's nothing but a prep academy for future San Quentin residents. 

Look around you.  Half of our Country thinks is A-Okay for boys to compete against girls in high school and college sports.  And clap politely when the boys win.  And then force the girls to let them pee and a poop alongside them.  And shower, also.  

About half of our Country thinks it's a good idea to hire some 900,000 of our citizens as police officers and sheriffs' deputies, and then back legislation to refuse to pay them.  "Defund the Police" became their mantra.  Somebody try and convince me why that's a good idea.

Half of our Country thinks it's a fine idea to make the consumption of hard drugs legal, and to also sell and use them on our sidewalks.  Sort of a grand experiment, resulting in increased crime levels and increased addiction. 

Half of our Country believes we should make felonies like carjacking and burglary and home invasion, and even attempted murder, so insignificant that we offer them "no cash" bail.  And turn them loose back on our streets before the cops can finish their booking sheets.  Allowing them to rack up 35 or 40 arrests before sending them off to the Big House for some hard time.  And then parole them before they've served all of their sentences.

Half of our Country thinks it's a great idea to go to the grass shop, buy some pot, then go home and lose themselves in a haze of smoke.  And even take a few puffs before heading off to work the next morning.  The parents of those legislators would have been mortified.  Because only yesterday it was illegal to smoke grass.  It could get you 5 to 10 in the Big House.  It was considered a "gateway" drug.  "Just say no," and all that.  

There was this Black guy in Texas who got 20 to life a generation ago for having a baggie of weed under the front seat of his car.  The sentence was overturned, but only after he served 14 years.  It might give you an idea of how things were before states began realizing they could balance their books by making pot legal.  Like California, which rakes in a 30% tax on grass sales.  Didn't know that, did you?  And the result?  A generation of potheads.  Legal potheads, just walzing through life, with frustrated cops wishing they could run them in.  

Half of our Country thinks its acceptable to refuse to prosecute our criminals while also making our citizens'  ownership and utilization of firearms illegal.  Blaming guns for how people use them.  Attempted murderers everywhere, but no, you can't protect yourself against them.  Get caught with a firearm improperly carried or transported and it will be YOU who gets prosecuted!

Half of our Country thinks it's just fine to grant our mentally addled the right to declare themselves as the opposite sex.  Just "identify" as a woman if you're a man, or the other way around, and voila!  You're accepted!  Even believing that men can get pregnant!  After all, no skin off their backs, right?

Half our Country thinks it's a good idea to parole hardened felons with long sentences so they can close prisons and reduce outlays.  Like our own BoyGuv ("Hairgod") Newsom who's already sent home 62,000 hardened felons from our biggest prisons.  Like Mamdami is closing Rikers Island.  Taking away more than 30% of all the jail cells in of New York City.  Forcing the outer buroughs to use their own jails if they want prisoners sentenced.  It will happen this year, and seemingly no one can stop it.    

Half of our Country thinks if just fine to send their kids off to high-zoot Ivy League colleges and universities, pay $80,000 or $90,000 a year for the privelege, then stand by as they major in Medieval Lesbian Poetry and Black Studies and Marxist Theory.  And then wonder why companies like General Motors and Pfizer and Wal-Mart won't hire them.  Watching them take jobs where they must ask, "Would you like fries with that?," without the least bit of guile.  

And yet these same folk look down their noses at those who take jobs as plumbers and mechanics and carpenters, which pay well beyond $100,000 a year to start,** believing they're somehow less than welcome in polite society.  A generation ago these citizens would be considered the underclass.  Now?  They're the smart ones.  The ones who start earning from Day One, without a yuuuge student loan to pay back.  They're laughing all the way to the bank.  

Mike Rowe has been banging this drum for two decades.  People are now beginning to pay attention.

Half of our Country somehow thinks that they're owed a living.  That they're owed freedom bought for them by soldiers and sailors and Marines who have fought and some died.  That they can dictate to you and me how they should be treated, without making a single meaningful contribution to our society.  They're pond scum, doncha' know.  They just don't know it.  

I'm just an observer.  I just sit back and watch.  And wonder.  And then offer up my opinions.  Knowing full well that opinions are like assholes; everybody's got one.  Mine's just more opinionated than others.  I consider myself "Super Average."  I believe that 80% of the folks out there agree with me 80% of the time.  I think and say what others are thinking, but are just too afraid to say it.  I guess I'm just too dumb to be afraid.  

Back in "my day," I know, I know, you were judged by how much you brought to the party.  You weren't hired by a company unless you could provide more to their bottom line than the their cost to put you to work.  To feed and clothe and house you, so to speak.  Otherwise, you were worthless.  Now?  Seems like nearly everyone is worthless.

And worst of all, they don't even know it.

Like I've said over and over, my opinion's worth what you paid for it.  Zip, nada, nothing.  But it might be worth considering if you're in a position to somehow change the way we're operating.  Because the way we're operating right now doesn't feed the bulldog.... 

*       Plumbers in Chicago are being poached, as Mike Rowe has reported, like hedge fund managers.  They're paying up to $272,000 a year (!). 

**   One of my favorite memories was a 400-level class where I got to train a white rat to stuff a marble into a beer can.  Using a "Skinner Box."  Look it up if you're unfamiliar.  I named him Frank Lloyd Rat.  Too bad, though, they gassed the poor little dude after my class was over.  Too hard to untrain the little fellows, it turned out.  Like some of our adults who've been trained poorly.  Or not at all.  Remember, life is a choice.  Choose wisely, my friends...  

"No Kings"

It's always been true that many of us who didn't study as much, or work as hard, or as willing to take risks, will endeavor to sieze the money and the property from those of us who did.

Let's talk a bit about the "No Kings" rally held a week ago Saturday.  And on the two similar rallies that preceded it.  And even the ones that occurred all the way back to the "Million Man March" held shortly after then Mr. "45" Trump first took office.

Although I care little about this event, several of my loyal readers did, and requested I do so.  And like a good DJ, I take requests.  So here goes...

I admit I haven't been following these protests too closely.  They make me gag, and gagging isn't my favorite activity.  I don't pay much attention to the screeches and bleatings of anti-American activists.  To people who bring nothing to the party except complaints.  To maintain my mental health I try to ignore them as much as possible.  I believe they are of no consequence except to make the dummmass commies and the socialists and Marxists feel like they're accomplishing something.  

They aren't, of course, but in our Country they're free to make fools of themselves anyway they wish.  And they do, over and over.  But there's a yuuuuge dose of irony here.  The cops that they so rabidly hate and wish to defund are lining the streets to keep them safe while they protest.  

And at the end of their march we will still have no kings, so maybe they think they've achieved something.  Think about it: if we had a king, he'd do to them what the Ayatollah did to his protesters in Iran last month.  I believe he killed 35,000 or so at last count.  But we don't.  The only thing those of us who disagree with their antics can do is to shake our heads and show disdain.  Which is my favored response.  

But after being asked, I dug into them a little deeper.  And here are my thoughts.

Firstly, there were 3,300 events held last Saturday, all across the Nation.  With an estimated total crowd of 7 - 8 million.  That's a well organized operation there, folks!  It was anything but organic.  Pulling together all of those who were well paid and some who were just pissed off.  These folks could have been at Home Depot or Albertsons or the movies on Saturday.  The fact they chose not to is pretty impressive.  So they must be there for a reason.  And that reason?  

In my opinion, most of them are just expressing their hatred for Donald J. Trump.  An advanced case of "Trump Derangement Syndrome," to be sure.  For whatever reason, he commands that response from some.  Like most of our Hollywierd crowd.  The Bobby DeNiro's, for example.  Who has stamped his Gucci-clad feet and cried real tears over his hatred of Trump.  Trump so irritates him and his cohorts they just have to march it off.  One of the memories of last Saturday I won't be able to get out of my aging brain is the picture of Hanoi Jane Fonda hugging it up with Bruce Springsteen.  Two avowed socialists publicly expressing their hatred for America.

Don't know why Jane Fonda is called "Hanoi Jane?"  If you're among the half of America who wasn't alive when she earned that nickname, and the enmity of an entire generation, here's a quick summary.  She was invited to visit Saigon by the communist North Vietnamese.  Right in the middle of the war.  With half a million of our troops fighting and dying there.  She was photographed sitting atop one of their anti-aircraft guns, with a big smile on her face.  There were dozens of our pilots held hostage in the "Hanoi Hilton," a prison infamous for its cruel treatment of our men.  They cleaned up the prisoners for her visit, dressing them in fresh clothing.  Each was forced to shake Fonda's hand and express how well they were being treated on the penalty of death.  

One of them had a tiny written note he had secreted to be passed along to Fonda via the handshake when they met.  It expressed the facts about their captivity so she could take it back home and tell the Nation.  She unfolded the note, read it, and then handed it off to an NVA soldier.  The prisoner was then taken offstage and severely beaten for his act.  And she's been hated by me and millions of others ever since.

In short, I hope to live long enough to piss on her grave.

As to Springsteen, it must be nice to be able to live a multi-millionaire's life while bitching and moaning about the Country that made it all possible.  And to have enough America haters to attend his uber-expensive concerts.  He just conducted a 3-hour lecture on Trump hating at a $1,000 a ticket concert in Minneapolis.  I suggest he rename a couple of his hit songs to, "Duncing in the Dark," and "Burn up the USA."  

Dozens of actors and actresses showed up and paraded down Hollywood Blvd.  They tend to act more like a tribe than a bunch of highly-paid artists, so I discard their opinions like I discard spoiled milk. 

Second, many of the marchers are like cowboys.  The highly paid ones.  Herding their elderly, ex-"Summer of Love" hippies, who still harbor anti-American beliefs.  And their post-menopausal daughters, to be sure.  Apples don't fall too far from the tree, as they say.  These are the folks hired through "Crowds on Demand," Adam Schwartz's Beverly Hills outfit.  He rents screamers and shouters, sign carriers all, who earn between $35 and $50 an hour, five hour minimum.  He'll rent you a bunch of protesters for any reason, or no reason at all.  Who's paying for them?  Read on...

It was reported that these highly-coordinated protests were sponsored by a progressive group of some 500 companies.  Representing more than $3,000,000,000,000 (with a "B") in annual, tax free revenues.  Led primarlily in this case by our curmudgingly old commie and felon George Soros* and his son, Alex.  He spent $72 Million through his "Open Society Fund" and "Oceans Foundation" on this protest.  He's spent more than $273 Million Dollars paying for anti-America protests and marches since D. J. Trump's been in office.

And then there's a guy named Neville Roy Singham.  He's an American-born tech entrepreneur who's made $Billions here, but for some strange reason hates capitalism.  So much so that he's paid out $Millions to fund marches like the one held last Saturday.  His "Indivisable" fund funnels $Millions to pay for marches like Saturday's.  He now lives with his wife Jodie Evans, the founder of "Code Pink," in Singapore.  

You remember her, right?  She's the gal who sends "Pinkers" to Congressional hearings and (Republican) State of the Union speeches and tries to disrupt them.  They stand up on cue and screech and wave signs.  On camera, of course.  Then they're unceremoniously dragged out and charged with a misdemeanor.  They're released before the cops can finish their booking documents, doncha' know, because all this happens in D.C.  Where breaking the law if you're a socialist or a commie comes with no negative consequences.  In fact, being arrested as a "Pinker" is like a right of passage.  Sort of like a Mafia soldier "making his bones."  

I can't help but wonder what it must be like in the Singham's palatial estate.  Neville says to Jodie, "I hate America!"  And Jodie says to Neville, "I hate it more than you do!"  And then Neville says back to Jodie, "No you don't!  I hate it more than anyone!  Wow, I'm all worked up!  Let's go make love!"

Why are these White, blue haired old ladies marching?  I'd say because they're (1) ignorant about the facts,  and (2), have no interest in learning them.  And also, they don't have enough to do.  They need a hobby, I'd say.  Maybe knitting.  Maybe take dance classes.  Anything but clogging up our streets and waving signs.  But that's just me.  All I know is that back in my day you'd be afraid to express such views in public.  You'd be thought a traitor to America if you did.  And being thought anti-American was just about the worst possible thing people could think about you.  Not as bad as having a live hooker or a dead kid in your trunk, but bad.  But apparently there are enclaves today so full of anti-Americanism that they not only don't care about being viewed as a socialist or a commie or a Marxist, they pursue the notariety. 

Which brings me to my ending thought.  What's keeping us from separating ourselves from the parts of America that harbor these fools?  The 272 "Sanctuary Cities" and counties and states where these socialists and communists live.  New York City and Chicago and San Francisco and Los Angeles and Baltimore, to name but a few.  Could we not live better and more peacefully if they weren't in our back yard?  A part of our Union?  There are 14 states where these Liberal stooges live.  Including my own, I'm sorry to say.  

I think Trump's contractors should take a hard right turn and keep building his Wall from up from San Diego and all the way to Seattle, Wa Wa.  We don't need them.  And they're quick to let us know they don't need us.  I fear a civil war is in our future if we don't take decisive action, and sooner rather than later.  Doesn't it make more sense to simply call for a divorce  due to irreconcilable differences, before it gets to a shooting war?**

I'd say so.  What about you?

*    George Soros was born in Germany during WWII.  Although Jewish, it was reported he showed the Nazis where his fellow Jews lived, resulting in their arrests.  He was so bright he won a scholarship to the London School of Economics.  Later, as a hedge fund whiz, he shorted the English Pound, nearly bringing down the British Empire.  He was arrested, tried and convicted.  He was later released from prison with the understanding he leave Europe and never return.  He took his $Billions and set up camp just off Exit 52 on the Long Island Expressway.  He then set about using his fortune to secure the election of district attorneys in our Deepest Blue states.  Resulting in "no cash" bonds, the failure to convict our most violent criminals, and a crime wave Nationwide.  Which has yet to subside.  

**  On the way out the digital door, I might remind everyone that 132 million Americans own 525 million firearms.  That's according to our FBI.  And they know how to use them.  And are probably anxious to do so.  But the Liberals and socialists and communists who are marching and pissing off our true Americans are the ones who continually call for gun control.  I'm guessing they're not among the well armed.  Making the result of the next conflict between the states preordained.  Shouldn't take more than a week or so.  Even quicker than our foray into Iran.  Excuse me while I go oil up my guns...

   

The Benefit of Perspective

I'm just about the oldest guy I know.

In fact, I consider myself a 25 year-old fellow held hostage in an octegenarian's body.  Against my will.  And not liking it one little bit, BTW.

Age carries with it a number of negatives.  It's sort of like a 1987 Honda Civic with 198,000 hard miles on the clock.  But it still runs.  The rear mail seal leaks oil all over the driveway, the brakes are shot, the tires are bald, but it still runs.  I'm sorta' like that.  But besides an elephant's memory, it also provides me with one important benefit:  

                      Perspective.

I was born during the Second World War.  And chances are pretty good that you, my loyal readers, know nothing about that experience.  In fact, the median age for Americans is now right about 39.1 years.  Meaning only about half of you know what it means to pay a price for your freedom.  To be forced to don a uniform, pick up a weapon and defend your country.  Against enemies sworn to kill you.  So let me bring you up to speed...

55% of our Country's Gross National Product during WW2 was engaged in fighting that War.  And more than 16% of all our citizens fought in that War at one time or another.  Both men and women.  Nearly 2,000,000 of our young men and women were in uniform, fighting that War at any one time.  And they fought it on two Axis Power fronts; Europe against the Nazis, and in the Pacific against the Japanese.

I recall my Mom staining her legs with lemon juice because she couldn't buy silk stockings.  Silk was reserved by our Government to make parachutes for our soldiers.  For our boys, "over there."

My folks were issued coupons to buy coffee, and flour, and meat, and other common items.  Even tires for the family car were rationed, as we needed all the rubber we could produce to fight the War.  The Ford Motor Company built a village outside of Detroit to make B-25 "Mitchell" bombers.  It was covered by camouflage netting to protect it from being bombed by the enemy.  You might be surprised to learn that they produced a brand new, battle-ready B-25 bomber every hour on the hour, around the clock.  And that most of the people who made those airplanes were American women.

And they produced more than 10,000 of them. 

That's how engaged our private industry was during the Big War.  The Remington typewriter company made some of our very best battle rifles, as an example.  General Motors made thousands of Jeeps.  They were called "General Purpose."  Hence, the nickname, "Gp."

I cannot recall anyone bitching or moaning about the War.  We knew it was a War for survival.  If we lost we knew we'd be speaking German.  Or Japanese.  And likely placed in interment camps.  No one asked when the War would be over.  It would be over when we won.  Or lost.  And it went on for years.  And anyone showing disfavor over the War or its length would be viewed as a potential traitor.  So no one did...

The 2nd World War was our last declared War.  Even though we've had two dozen military actions since then, none have been declared as such.  The Korean "War" was declared a "Police Action."  Viet Nam was declared a "Military Action."  Grenada and Panama and Afghanistan and Iraq were declared "Military Involvements."  Men in suits, sitting around big conference tables, sent our young men and women off to die in far-off places.  Without even a declaration as to why.  

And that's almost criminal in my book.   

Almost none of the people I know were among them.  They've lived in a bubble.  All the people you bump into each day have enjoyed freedom from worry for more than 6 decades.  Freedom bought for them by someone else.  They've lived free without ever having to pay a price for that freedom.  And they've come to expect it. 

I knew a guy named Bob Rosenau back in 1963.  He'd been a part of the original 100 "MAC-V" (Military Advisory Group - Viet Nam) Green Berets sent to Viet Nam in 1961.   They were sent there to train the South Viet Namese army regulars how to fight and win wars.  Apparently our Government failed to learn from the ass whipping France took by the communist North Viet Namese at Dien Bien Phu in 1957.  They were run out of town, butt first.  We thought we knew better.  Our decision makers didn't have the benefit of perspective, it would seem. 

And so from those original 100 advisors, there were 550,000 of our soldiers fighting and dying there by 1965.  You might not know that Prez. Kennedy had decided to pull all our troops out of VN by 1961.  Perhaps that was why he was killed.  Because his successor, LBJ, a tool of the "Military-Industrial Complex," turned VN into a dramatically expanded war.  Half a world away.  Hoping to prove we knew better, and fought better, than the French.

I was pulled into that conflict on Halloween, 1966.  No treat, some trick.  I was forced to do a job I didn't want to do, in a place I didn't want to be, for people I didn't want to work for, aiding no one, and solving no problems.  I was fortunate to return with all my limbs, but not without my contempt for a dumb war and the dumb people who ordered it.  

We lost 55,000 of our best and brightest there, attempting to prove that the French didn't know how to fight.  But that we did.  We had our hands tied behind our backs by our politicians, unable to win, and too dumb to declare victory and come on home.  Some can learn by others' mistakes.  Just not us.  The Viet Nam Memorial is on the Mall in Washington, D.C.  Please visit it the next time you're there.

Perspective.

And we continued to make the same mistakes in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Fighting a new kind of "war" with an all-volunteer force.  But not enough of them to actually win.  Just show up, shoot some folks, and get shot in return.  We lost 20,000 in Iraq and 4,500 in Afghanistan.  We sent too few people to actually win, and worse yet, not even knowing it.      

And so it is with Iran.  Even though they declared war on us back in 1979, after Prez. Jimmy Carter failed to back up our friend the Shah.  Carter felt he was too tough on his dissenters.  Human rights violations and all that.  Resulting in us pulling our military support.  Which caused him to be deposed by Iran's hardline Islamists.  And even though they've been killing our soldiers and sailors and Marines ever since, we've just sat back and taken it.  

We've had seven Presidents since the Mullahs took over Iran.  And we've done nothing.  We even tried buying them off with $Billions, two planes loaded with cash, hoping they'd stop trying to kill us (thank you, POTUS Obama!).  Even though Iran had killed more than 500 of our citizens, they've paid no price for doing so.  Breaking every promise they made us.  Infuriating folks like me.  

None, until Trump that is.  

Whether you know it or not, we're now engaged in an existential war for our way of life.  For our freedom.  Trump was the first President to stop letting Iran bully us around.  He decided that NOW is the time for them to pay that price.  He's engaged our entire Army, Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps in an all-out War to end their attempt to eradicate us.  They've openly said they'll kill us all if and when they have the means to do so.  Their religion tells them that only by killing us, and Israel, will their 12th Imam return.  He wandered off somewhere 1,100 years ago and they're all about bringing him back ASAP.  Perhaps they're unaware that he's likely dead by now.

Trump knows we have to go all in to defeat an enemy whose religion teaches it's better to die than to live.

They've used their oil revenues to fund not only their proxies, like Hezbollah and the Houthis, but their ongoing attempt to produce nuclear weapons.  And if they get them, they would surely use them.  On Israel first.  And then on us.  Our B-2 strike on them last June should have given them a clue we meant business.  That it was time to mend their ways and join the ranks of civilized countries.  Without success, it appears.

They just proved they have missiles capable of accurately traveling more than 2,500 miles, having just struck our Indian Ocean base in Diego Garcia.  Putting all of Europe and the U.K. in their cross hairs.  And with North Korea's and Russia's help, they would have shortly had the means to hit America.  Putting a nuclear warhead they were week's away from building atop an intercontinental missile.  And we couldn't permit them to do that.  

Trump is all about stopping them.  And restoring our peace and tranquility.

Maybe Trump's critics are unaware that he has no third term.  He isn't running for anything past this one, and knows the Democrats will likely take back the House in November.  And when they do, they'll likely impeach him.  Or at least tie his hands so he'll be unable to use our military.  So all he has is NOW.  He's pulling out all the stops.  And throwing the full weight of our military behind his Iran mission.

Yet, half our Country is asking when all this will end.  Because it costs too much to fill their gas tanks, I guess.  The Democrats in Congress are demanding it to end.  The so-called "Main-Stream Media," water carriers for the Democrats, is calling for this war to end.  They fully intend to stop the funding for it when its sixty-day, Article 2 limit is reached.  In just over a month.  That's the leash Congress has on Trump.  He has 60 days to use our military to defend us, beyond which the Congress can stop all funding.  And I believe they intend to do so.  The Iranians know that.  All they have to do is sit back and wait.  Wait for our MSMedia to erode American support for this military action.  Just like they did in Viet Nam.

They may not have much of a country left when that day is reached, but they would still be in power.  And that's all they require to adhere to their religious dictats; to rebuild and keep on trying to kill us.  So as to bring back that 12th Imam.

The socialists and the communists intend to bury America.  They intend to rot America from within.  It was Alexis Du Toqueville, the famous 18th Century French philosopher and diehard American fan, who opined that America would only be vanquished from within.  We would never be beaten by a foreign power, he wrote, but only by the haters who succeeded in gutting America's power from within.  By helping to erode public opinion.  He was right, I fear.  And our lily-livered enemies are proving it.

I wish they'd been around during the Big War so as to know what it's like to fear for your personal safety.  As did we all back then.  Or the Cold War when we were dueling with the Soviets.  Practicing "duck and cover" drills, getting under our desks in school to save us when nuclear weapons were unleashed.  As if that would have helped.    

Or during the Viet Nam conflict when the talking heads would always end their Alphabet news broadcasts with a live shot from the Air Force base where our dead soldiers were offloaded every evening.  We averaged about 55 dead heroes a day back then, and Walter Cronkite and his competitors were happy to show them.  From their comfortable studio vantage points.  Undercutting our resolve to keep on fighting.  Eroding our Country's will to stay in the game.  Proving that our MSMedia wasn't - and isn't - our friend. 

We were winning that war on the ground.  Ask any old soldier.  We just couldn't win it in the MSMedia. 

These people frankly make me puke.  They would be ashamed of themselves...if they had any shame.  One of the benefits of age is that folks like me won't be around too much longer to see what America will become.  But I'm ashamed for them.  They are breathing the free air our dead soldiers and sailors bought for them.  At a steep price.  With their lives.

It's been said that democracies like ours won't last much past 250 years.  Rome lasted just beyond that, and was deconstructed shortly thereafter.  We're celebrating our 250th year come July.  I fear that it may be our last year of independence.  Of freedom.  That's the perspective I've gained from years of observing.  And of serving.  And learning.  Of using the benefits of perspective.  You should know that freedom isn't free.  It has a price.  We're now paying it.  Or at least some of us are paying it.  The others are "free riders," sitting in the wagon while our patriots are pulling it.  Bitching and moaning and dragging their feet.  The only question is, for how long?  

Look in the mirror.  Are you a Patriot?  Or are you a free-rider?  We are judged not by only by our words, but also by our deeds.  You're not due comfort.  You're not automatically due freedom.  It must be continually bought and paid for.  I beg you to stand up and proudly serve!  And if you can't personally serve, at least stay out of the way while those fighting for you are given the tools to win.  And maybe pick up the phone and call your Congressperson and voice your support for the war we're now fighting.  Only by so doing might we actually win this one.

We'll soon know whether Americans like you choose to do so or not... 

Updating Mark Twain.

I dunno' 'bout you, but it's a surprise to me that any Republican running for a national office ever gets elected.

That's because our news media is unbelievably biased against Republicans, and especially Conservatives.  And that's not a surprise.  Everybody knows that.  Except the voting public, of course...

With exception of low-level, Right-leaning cable channels like OAN (San Diego), NewsNation (Chicago), and NewsMax (Boca Raton, Florida), all of our news media is located within a 10 block radius in Midtown Manhattan.  

As in New York City.

From 59th Street on the North, to 34th Street down South.  And everybody in Manhattan votes Liberal Democrat.  Like 89% of them.  Which is what we call a supermajority.  And that's why Zoran Momdani got elected Mayor, even though he's a Muslim socialist communist fool.  Who promised the uneducated everything for free, and then showed them how much he'd lied within just days of taking office.  

Think about it: all these reporters for ABC, NBC, PBS and NPR shop at the same Whole Foods.  And work out at the same Golds Gym.  And take in movies at the same AMC theater.  And go to the same churches/mosques/synagogues/cathedrals. 

Oh, sorry!  My bad!  They don't believe in God, so they don't go to visit him for dispensation on Sundays.   

But whether they work at one of the Alphabet Media empires today, they might move a few blocks up or down 5th Avenue and start reporting for another of them tomorrow.  And as the Washington Press Corps has told us, some 94% of them proudly voted Democrat in the last Election.  And are a reliable vote in the next one.  They are all Liberals, or even Progressives, so how they report is how they vote.  And the majority of the folks they report to, your neighbors and mine, get their news from one of the Alphabet "free" Networks.  Or even the Internet "news" sources like TikTok, or Facebook, or even Google.  

And their "reporters" are similarly Liberal just like their broadcast brethern.

Example:  While those of us seek out our news from a number of reliable sources, the broadcast folks are refusing to pass along the successes we're enjoying in our little military action against Iran.  They're still talking about Epstein.  Or the increasing price of gasoline.  Or the high price of eggs, even though eggs are now $1.59 a dozen. 

Did you know that our 4th Estate is the only "job" our Constitution references?  And the 4th Estate is journalism.  The Constitution singles them out and gives them special rights so our voting citizens can know what's going on with their Government.  Yet, if our reporters are refusing to report the facts, to let us know the truth, because of their own political biases, we might vote against our own best interests.  As is happening every Election Day. 

Our news media refused to report that our Southern Border was wide open, welcoming in millions and millions of illegal aliens from 159 countries, until the Governor of Texas started sending busloads of them to New York City and they could no longer avoid it.  And only them sporadically.  As in, don't believe your lying eyes.  

They have a special sort of TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) which unfolds every day on their networks.  But they don't have to like our President to report the news.  Reporting straight down the middle, which is their jobs.  But they seem to think that their job is to take sides and show favoritism.  Which makes me sick to my stomach.

Did you ever wonder where all those Summer of Love, Haight-Ashbury, San Francisco hippies went when the Viet Nam "Police Action" was over?  They went off to journalism schools to learn how to advocate for their favored political positions.  And then became journo professors so they could teach thousands of future newbie reporters how to show their bias without showing their bias.

I'm an old guy who won't be around much longer.  Which is okay with me.  One of the things I won't miss is jaded, one-sided, seriously biased news coverage.  And for those of you wondering if this outrage will ever subside, I say no, it won't.  There's always been a "Makers and Takers" mentality among voters, and also among reporters.  Perennially pissed at those who "have," especially if they're Republicans.  And the Liberal Media is full of these Takers.    

Mark Twain famously said, "Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see."  I say, don't believe anything the Liberal Media reports, ever, whether spoken or viewed.  They force us to break through their advocacy in order to learn the truth.  Do your homework and vote your best interests.  Only by doing so might we finally escape this quagmire...    

  

I've Got the ACLU on Speed Dial!.

So I became so excited when our new Administration took office and began closing down our previously wide open Border!

The Biden Administration had opened it wide, permitting somewhere around 20 million folks from any of 158 countries to satchey in during their 4 years.

                     Wide open.  

As in, welcome, traveler!  How about a nice apartment overlooking the park?  And a doctor to take care of you and your kids?  And some nice, crisp, freshly-printed greenbacks to help you settle in?  And a Left-leaning lawyer to help you get a green card?  And all the food you and your family can eat, for free!  And your choice of a plane, train or bus ticket to take you anywhere you'd like to go?  We're here to help, stranger!  We're like today's "Welcome Wagon!"  

              Welcome to America!

However, all that was illegal.  It's illegal to wander in, between ports of entry, uninvited, and help yourself to our largesse.  It's a misdemeanor punishable by up to six (6) months in the county hoosegow and a $1,000 fine.  Did you know that?  Apparently neither did anybody else... 

But that didn't stop Sleepy Joe and his staff.  They were doing their best to pad the voter rolls with brand new 'Muricans.  And if Mzzzz. Kamala had somehow won, her handlers would have turned all those illegals into voters and we'd have Democrats in power for the next 50 years.  The very thought makes me shivver.  

But that didn't happen.  And Trump decided to clamp that Border down tight.  It took less than a month to do so, even though Joe and his cronies said it would take an Act of Congress.  Of course he was lying.  He was good at that.  He should be.  He's been doing it, on our dime, for more than 50 years.

So now there's been ZERO new illegal arrivals since The Donald took over.  Just the normal flow of people arriving at any of our 26 Border entry points.  Waiting in line, ready to meet that all important Border guard.  

I'm so impressed I decided I'd like to be a Border guard, too!  

Yes, I'm retired.  But I'd like to become a Border guard.  I'd be happy to sit in a chair with one of those little fans blowing on me and welcome each car as it drives up.  Saying, "Welcome, stranger!  Are you a U.S. citizen?  Anything to report?  No drugs or firearms or RPG's in the car today, right?  Thanks, enchoi your visit to 'Murica and have a nice day!"

Oh yeah, the job starts at $51,039 a year, which is more than enough down there in Northern Meheeeeko.  Plus a yuuuge signing bonus, and your own drug sniffing dog.  I like dogs.  I've already got a Maltese who thinks he's a German Shepard, so he'd have some company for a change.

I could do that job.  And would.  Excepppppt, there are two main problems.  One, I'm a bit ancient.  As in, older than dirt.  And the Border rules state that new applicants must be one day short of their 40th birthday.  Buuutt, our Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, just stated that, if an applicant is a veteran, like moi, those limitations are lifted.  And no upper limit on age has been written into law as of this date.  So far, so good.

Annnnd, Number Two, since most of the folks headed to the Border down south don't speak English, and I don't speak Hispanic, they wouldn't want to hire me.  They do say they'll take applicants who aren't Latino speakers, so long as they can blather the lingo the day they leave the Academy.  They have to learn Spanish to be hired.  And to me, that's an outrage!  Imagine an American Federal job, paid for by our taxes, requiring a citizen applicant to speak a foreign language to be hired?    

Now, you should know that fully 60% of all Border guards are Hispanic, and that's okay for them.  Many of them are clawing their way out of poverty and using our tax money to do it.  They already sprechen the lingo.  But I'd say those wishing to visit 'Murica should learn English to be admitted.  Agree?  That would solve the problem.  How hard is it to learn how to answer a question like, "Are you a citizen?"  Why should we have to learn how to speak their language in order to get hired?  

I think it's Elder Abuse!  And I intend to contact the ACLU and get them to sue!  They're so damnable Left-Wing, they'd probably take the case in a minute, and for free!  Anything to try and screw up The Donald and his efforts to restore 'Murica's greatness!

And secondly, being a Veteran, who's fought and nearly died for his Country (paper cut infection went systemic), I believe I ought to get any job I apply for.  And if they don't offer it, that's an "Americans With Disabilities Act" of 1990 violation!  I even use a wheelchair when I think it might garner some sympathy.     

So, in summation, I want to sit on a comfy chair in a little shack in 100 degree heat and ask visitors from Meheeeeko if they're trying to bring in some meth.  And do so in English.  And if they don't answer promptly and legibly, I'll call in the Company Beagle.  He'll sniff the heck out of their cars until he/she/it (can dogs be transgender?) finds some contraband.  I've been watching that show on the History Channel and it looks like fun.  And I'll get the commies at the ACLU to sue the Feds if they don't agree with my convoluted interpretation of our hiring laws.  

Stay tuned, Fellow 'Muricans.  I'll keep you briefed...