Thursday, June 24, 2021

A Soapbox in the Public Square...

What with all this "cancel culture" stuff going around, and heightened efforts to ban and confiscate citizens' firearms, I thought it might be helpful to provide those who lean a bit to the "Progressive" side, with the education they should have received in grade school, or from their parents, and most assuredly didn't.

Yes, I love long sentences.  But you got the entire idea, packaged all up and ready to be amplified upon.  So here we go.  Amplify away, Mr. Chuckmeister!

The 1st Amendment to the Bill of Rights to the Constitution of the United States of America tells us we have the freedom of Speech, and of the Press, and of Assembly, and to Petition our Government for redress of grievances, and to practice a Religion of our choice.  What all that means in practical application is that we can stand on a soapbox, in the middle of the Public Square, and spew the vilest of totally inane crap at the top of our lungs.  To anyone who will stop and listen.  Just like it they did back in 1776 Philadelphia.  In hopes their ideas would gain traction.  Which, if you've looked around lately, did.  

What a concept!  

That speech might not be appreciated.  It might be loathed.  It might even be challenged, hopefully.  But the Bottom Line is it will be Protected.  By the Amendment to follow...

The 2nd Amendment tells us all about our God-given Right to keep and bear Firearms.  All 27 little words of it.  The "...right to keep and bear arms," it says, "shall not be infringed."  That means f-d with.  At all.  And just in case that guy on that soapbox uttering the most hateful of garbage, at the top of his lungs, gets challenged by some perp who doesn't understand the Constitution and the personal guarantees it conveys, our soapbox guy could simply reach in his pocket, pull out a firearm and protect himself.  Just like they did back in 1776 Philadelphia.  And like they can do in 24 of our States today. 

The same ones which have officials who can read those 27 little words, and know what they mean, and have thus decided that their adult, law-abiding citizens may carry firearms on their persons, concealed, without permits or licensure of any kind.  While residents of the other, "bluer" states are struggling to protect themselves from those who might choose to "cancel" them.

And that, to all you "Progressives" out there, is the way it's supposed to work...

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Is Bigfoot Really Real?

So on the (recurring) subject of Bigfoot/feet, here's my theory:

The doubters amongst us say there can be no Bigfoot/feet because we've yet to find an example of one.  A living or dead example of the species to investigate is what they demand.  A bones and skin and fur Bigfoot.  And since we don't have one, ergo, no Bigfoot.    

I can certainly dig the thinking here, as a scientist myself, but there have been numerous examples of species turn up of late that we've thought long gone.  The Giant Squid, as an example.  It's been extinct for a million years, we were told.  Except they just found one.  And the Coelacanth, for another.  That fish went extinct more than One Million Years ago, the paleontologists tell us, yet there've been three of them caught lately.  And the Tasmanian Tiger.  Extinct for more than 100 years.  They just found it again.  Wandering around, wondering, no doubt, what all the fuss was about.  Yeah, like that.

So I have a particular theory on why we continue to see these giant cryptids (as yet unproven animals), and to record the sounds they make, and to see and make casts of their footprints, yet we just can't seem to gather one up to look at.*  Well, fellow Patriot, I'd like to suffer you through my particular theory...

There was a time Way Back When when there were at least a half-dozen bipedal hominids populating the Earth and warring with each other for dominance, and all at the same time.  The Bible even tells us so.  Nefilim and all that.   You've heard of the Neanderthals, and the Troglodytes, and the Cro Magnon, of course.  But Homo Sapiens (not Homo Sapiens Sapiens, the resultant, modern species), who we call Early Man, lived and fought for dominance right along side of them.  

This "war" went on for millions of years.  One by one each competing species lost and died out to those more adapted to their environment.  Sort of like that game where you grab for the chair when the music stops.  

This left only the "Denisovans."  They were apparently the last to lose against humans in the war for dominance.  These dudes were only discovered a few years ago, and trust me, they were quite something.  We can assume from their fossil records that they were at least 8 feet tall and weighed 500 pounds.  

Yeah, big.

As they began to lose this "contest for life," these competitors reverted to ever higher and higher ground, and further away from homo sapiens, making it easier to defend themselves.  Thus, they became the master of high mountains and passes.  On all the continents.  They were there, we were here.  They had innumerable caves for shelter, and plenty of game for food.    

And they still do.

So in order to live, these animals had to learn how to avoid humans.  The new dominant species.  Homo Sapiens Sapiens had evolved to become "us" by this time, and I believe the Denisovans had perhaps evolved into  "Bigfoot/feet."  I could be wrong.  I don't think I am.  

The Bottom Line, per The Chuckmeister:  They are masters at avoiding us.  That's how they continue to exist.  That's their "existential priority."  Not global warming, avoiding us.  So don't expect that to change any time soon.  My prediction?  The Big News on this front is the invention of the drone.  These babies are now being flown all day every day by the millions.  And they're equipped with amazing cameras, including infrared which can see in the dark, which will no doubt capture indelible proof of their existence.  One day soon.  

Good theory, yes?

(*  You should know that even after more than 100 years of searching, not a single chimpanzee or gorilla or orangutan bone has been found in the wild.  Not a one.  Do they bury their dead?  Cogitate on that for awhile...)   

Sunday, June 20, 2021

Thank God I Identify as Black!

Yeah, and gay, too.  And a Gypsy!

That's important these days, I'm sure you've heard, as the new O'Biden Administration intends to offload truckloads of cash at Black folks' doorsteps.  He just said so in a speech in Tulsa.  He went there to personally apologize for a group of Southern KKK Democrats having nuked a town full of Black people 100 years ago.  Bad scene, that, but since America wasn't involved, I wasn't aware America had culpability.  And I wasn't aware Biden, himself was personally involved.  He's certainly old enough, but I doubt he was actually personally culpable.  Apparently he went there to assuage the guilt he's felt over all these years, however.  

We didn't, he did.

Anyway, as a mea culpa, he's decided, unilaterally (how's he do that again?), to give two out of every three new Federal loans to Black and Brown and Yellow people.  No Whites allowed.  And apparently no red ones either, as they weren't even mentioned (I guess they don't vote much).  And even though a preponderance of White folks' taxes would be used to fuel this obviously unconstitutional example of gross pandering by a gross panderer.  

(NOTE:  He will be sued, and lose.  But hey, major-league pandering like this, lying his ass off, to his constituency, on his "MainStreamMedia," sure sounds good in a speech, right?  Might even convince a few dimbulbs to vote his way...)

Oh yeah, and he's forgiving 120% of any Black Federal loans.*  That means if you borrowed $1 Million, and you're Black, you'll not only get your loan forgiven, you'll get a check from Bill Clinton or Bill Marr or Bill Gates other high-earning "Bills" for $200,000!  Let me say that again; if you borrowed X, you'll get back X + 20% from the Federal taxpayer (you and me).  Who knew there was such a pot of gold out there?  Illegal?  Sure.  But hey, sure did impress them po' Black folks in Tulsa!

Did I mention that I also identify as a farmer?  And as the Democrat Party continues to tell us, it's not who you are, it's who you identify as...

And since at this very same speech he named June National LGBTQ+ Month (what month was it before? And what do the plusses stand for?), I'm pretty sure he'll be forgiving gay folks' loans here pretty damn quick, too.  Just imagine if you are a po' Black farmer and also gay?  Hellooooo!!!!! 

                   You're rich!!!

And so, like I said, I identify as both Black and Gay!  So I'll be gettin' some of them there reparations here reeeel soon.  As a matter of fact, I intend to compete for the title of "Po' Black Gay (Gypsy) Farmer of the Quarter!"  Your votes will be appreciated...   

*  A Federal judge just placed a stay on this Executive Order, until or unless reviewed by a full, en banc Judicial panel.  See?  Started already... 

Friday, June 18, 2021

A Bit of History...

I'm an inveterate student of history, as you may well know.

You're subjected to that fact almost every time you read one of my blog postings, as there's almost always a bit of history-based irony or karma or a raised eyebrow or two or three thrown in, just for drill.  Just to make the point, doncha' know.  

I enjoy looking back, as we're told that only by so doing may we better prepare for the future.  Remember what the guy said:  "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it."  And I enjoy comparing where we were to where we are.  And to draw mental trendlines as to where we just might wind up if we continue on our present course.  

Like now for instance.   I recall just a year ago when we were still relatively free.  And I say "relatively," as anyone with a lick of sense knows, as we've been losing our freedoms a bit at a time for decades.  

Remember when we were asked for "15 Days to Slow the Spread?"  Which magically turned into 15 months?  Remember?

I also remember when the State of California voted a decade or so back to limit my discretionary purchase of firearms to one per month.  Now they're trying to eliminate such purchases altogether.  Yeah, see what I mean?

But anyway, I'm mostly talking about when we could still speak our minds without fear of retribution.  When there had yet to develop a full-blown "cancel culture."  When we could write an op-ed in the local paper and it spark lively debate instead of a fist-fight.  Or cause a bunch of trolls in a basement somewhere in Cinnncinnnattti to foment a "doxing."  Which then turns into a mob of crazed White Marxists attempting to burn down my house.  And me having to shoot my way out, and then being charged with assault.

When "Kevins" and "Karens" weren't screaming at each other in mall parking lots about the wearing of face masks.  When folks were issuing hosannas and throwing flowers at the feet of passing cops and fire-folks for being "first responders."  Just before they began hurling bricks at those self-same police officers and firefighters just a few weeks later...

Don't remember that?  Remember when the NYC cops were getting pelted with fruit and water bottles in April, 2020?  Yeah, well that's when it all started.  Way back then.  And then May happened... 

And oh yeah, when being White didn't automatically make you a racist.  But only to those, I'd offer, who spew the propaganda on those "fake news" cable channels, and those who are stupid enough, or ignorant enough, to listen to it.  And then believe it. 

Of course, I'm so old that I can remember back when there were about 90% fewer laws than we have now, and about 90% fewer violators.  When you could ride around in the back of a pickup truck all day and the cops would just wave.  When you could ride a motorcycle without a helmet and fish without a license and drink out of a fire hose and profit in a business venture without being made to feel bad.  

When LBJ was proudly inaugurating his "Great Society Program" to lift up Black people.  I remember that, do you?  And he began to throw bushel baskets of taxpayer money at helping...or hoping to help...their inner city crime and poverty and homelessness and destitution.  He believed that money could resolve the problem.

Almost $9 Trillion Dollars thrown has been thrown at it so far.  Has it helped?

When Black folks got 5 extra points on their Civil Service exams to help produce some of that self-same "equity" that some dweebs are striving so desperately to implement once again.  5 extra points to help assuage the guilt of slavery.

When there was no "social media."  No Facebook.  No Twitter.  No Instagram.  And no chance that we'd be subjected to a picture of your lunch, or your  traffic ticket, or your supposed abuse at the hands of the local cops.  Or some racial epithet you uttered while in a drunken stupor back in college that would come back to haunt you two decades later.  And no picture of you in blackface to help ruin your chances at promotion.

And no chance every single person in America would become his or her (or its) own Media Star, snapping everyone's privacy away, a click at a time.  Without the benefit of an editor, by the way, to help keep them from making fools of themselves. 

Or winding up "cancelled." 

Or a cell phone which has magically become an appendage of the sallow, sunken, gaunt bodies of millions of basement-dwelling dweebs (I love alliteration, don't you?).  

Oh yeah, and the peace and quiet and solitude we've so desperately lost since the commies in Silicon Valley invented our privacy away...

I yearn for the simpler days of yesteryear.  I yearn for 30 minutes of evening news with Walter Cronkite.  He would always end it with, "And that's the way it is..."  30 minutes.  That's all the time there was for the news, for that's all the news there was...

Damn!  Were those the Good Old Days, or what?

We never learned, for instance, that FDR was a cripple.  Or that JFK was a womanizing pill addict with a serious neurological ailment called Addison's Disease.  Did you know that?  Or that Bill Clinton's "Arkansas Mafia" highway patrol detail would routinely bring him young starlets so he could show off his "Peroni's Disease" (look it up).  

In so many ways we've lost our innocence.  Our luster.  Our flinty gleam of brawn and bluster and youth.  The "Right Stuff" that helped us lift ourselves up by our bootstraps and prevail!  We're an aging "democracy."  One long in the tooth.  One destined for near future failure, I'm afraid.  Our most recent election proves it.  We chose via our votes to give ourselves some of what our neighbors have, instead of the chance to go out and create it for ourselves.  While China and Russia plot our demise.  We've already outlasted Rome, the first major and previously the record-holder for long-lasting democracies.  We've grown paunchy, and soft.  Can you imagine us winning the Second World War were we to be faced with such a challenge today?  

Today our new leaders argue not for a strong national defense, but for strong racial equity.  Not for the equality of outcome, but of equity.  The very definition of Marxism.  Those ignorant fools.  

The Good News is I won't live to see it.  The Bad News is...you likely will.

Goodbye, America.  It was fun while it lasted...   

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

LIke Rip Van Swindle...

So, fellow Pilgrims, I, The Chuckmeister, your Scribe Without Portfolio, your Roving Reporter, decided today to venture out into the "wide world" of almost-post-pandemic Taxifornia and get me some of my favorite victuals.

That's an "olde timey" word for food.

But you already knew that...

So I headed out to "Islands Burgers and Brews."  These folks have always provided their clientele with a decent mid-range burger and fries, plus a nice bar, for a fair price, so I decided to throw my business their way.

So for the very first time in more than a year, I went in and tried to sit down and have a meal.  I'd been looking forward to this day, and I was drooling at the thought.  I say "tried" to sit down, as I was preceded by a tiny teenage girl covered in a mask and gloves and Saran wrap with a rag and a bottle of sanitizer who "spritzed" all the way to my seat.  And then "spritzed" the table top and both boothes (didn't know that was the plural of "booth," didja?), even though it was fairly apparent I was dining alone.  I was concerned she might "spritz" me.  Overkill?  Ummm, yes...

The table top was bare.  Absolutely bare.  A sea of Formica.  And in place of the pictures of surfers we used to enjoy, there was a yuuuuge URL.  Right there in the middle, staring at me.  I asked where the ketchup and mustard and salt and pepper and napkins and menu were.  She said they are no more, as everything now is single-serve packages.  The kind you get in a fast food joint.  Which this place didn't used to be.

But apparently now is...

So the nice wait-person popped up and asked if I'd care to take a picture of the URL in the middle of the table top, or would I care for a menu.  Ummm, yeah, what, I said?  Take a picture?  I think I'll take a menu.  She asked if I was sure, as the menus are now single-use, like that's a bad thing.  And oh, they're also 4-color, tri-fold and expensive, so if I could just take a picture with my phone, nomsayin,' it would be all the better for them. (Jeeesh!  Gimme' the friggin' menu, and make it snappy!)  I asked for the menu.  

And my favorite Mai Tai.  Yummm!

So she arrived with the menu and my drink.  I gave the menu a quick check, and yes, they still had the basic, "Big Wave" cheeseburger.  Alarmed at the major bump in price, I asked if it still came with fries, ashamed of myself for having asked, knowing full well that it certainly would.  I mean, what burger in a mid-rangey burger joint doesn't come with fries?  Hello!!!  

Except it didn't.  No longer. 

I looked at the menu, did a quick tabulation in my mental adding machine, and determined that the $8.79 "Big Wave" burger and fries from a year ago...was now offered up for a tidy $10.59.  For the burger.  Without the fries.  And the fries now cost a tidy $6.75.  Together they bust the budget at $17.34.  

The price of a basic burger and fries at Islands has...wait for it...DOUBLED!

I made mention of that fact to the wait-person (a nice young lady, if I can still say that), and she said, matter-of-factly, that it was due to an "increase in the minimum wage."  Well okay, then.  That makes everything alright, I guess.  You double the price of your basic burger and fries, and state to your customers that it's okay, since your costs have gone up.  Like it's their fault.  

"I'm sorry your new Honda is $78,000, Mrs. Jones, but we had to give our staff a raise, you know..."

And I guess everyone's income has gone up, too, so we'll all be able to pay for it, right?  RIGHT?

I have a daughter in the restaurant industry.  I predicted to her when this whole thing started a year or so ago that there might be 30-40% fewer restaurants remaining in our Fair Land when the dust finally settled.  I had not considered that after that dust settled, your ordinary customer might not be able to afford the food offered up by the remaining few restaurants.  At least in California, and in many other "Blue" states, which closed down tight, and then apparently gave the store to their employees in wage increases as an inducement for them to come back to work.  

Notice, that didn't happen in Florida.  And a quick check with their website shows the meals at Islands there are still priced the way they were a year ago.

I'm thinking that if someone decided to dump major money on a meal, he/she/it just might choose other than a mid-range burger joint.  Put simply, the "Big Wave" cheeseburger and fries, plus a Mai Tai, and a tip, used to cost me a $20.00, with tip, out-the-door.  Now?  $40.00!  Forty Bucks!  For a cheeseburger, fries and a drink.  Same deal, almost doubled in price. 

You may disagree here, but $40 gets you a seat at a white tablecloth restaurant.  Or has everything changed that much during my enforced "Rip Van Winkle" incarceration, I wondered?   

My appetite having thus been ruined at Islands, I paid for my Mai Tai, left a nice tip, and politely made my way out the door.  I went next door to Romano's Margarita Grill, a nice, sit-down, white-tablecloth-ey restaurant.  I ordered up my favorite "Pasta Rustico," a side salad and a glass of claret.  My bill, out the door, with healthy tip, was $42.00.  Lemme's see here; dining in North Korea, fries extra, or a nice sit-down meal in ??? 

Nothing against Islands, or any other restaurant finding itself in this same bind, but do you think their recent decisions to try and off-load their problems on their long-suffering clients might have an impact on their future business?????  

(EPILOGUE:  I told the wait-person at Islands that I'd be writing in my blog about my experience there.  She was so excited to learn that she'd be famous (!).  She asked to read it.  Of course, I said.  What do you think, Tina?  Happy with your new increase in pay?)

Monday, June 14, 2021

CNN "Exposes Itself"

The very most cringeworthy event in the history of TV just occurred.  You just want to wash your hands over the whole thing...

I dunno' if you heard, but CNN just reinstated Jeffrey Toobin.

Jeffrey, as you might have heard, got a particularly acute case of cabin feevah during the depths of the anti-constitutional nation-wide lockdown His People demanded.  Turns out he was on a Zoom call with some of his associates and got a little bored.  Or "board," if you'll excuse me.  Seems that although he was fully clothed above the waist, he was, ummm, ...unclothed, below.  As in naked.  Nude, doncha' know.

Did I mention that Jeff had been the Clinton News Network's Chief Legal Analyst for more than 25 years?  No?  

So Jeff, being "board," as I stated, decided to flip his minnow.  Lope his mule.  Jiggle his joint.  Choke his chicken, as they say.  Have an order of "Beef Strokenoff."  Try jerkin' the gherkin.  Go out with Mary and her four daughters.  Take his doggie for a walk.  In front of at least one female associate, I'm led to understand.  And she didn't appreciate getting a couple of eyeballs full of Jeff's, ummm, balls.   

So she made mention of that fact to upper management, which is amazing in and of itself, and Jeffey got his walking papers.  No, not a pink slip, a love note asking him to stay at home for awhile until the matter blew over, and then maybe they could work him back into the schedule at some later date.  When all of this became yesterday's news, doncha' know.  Because Liberals just luuuv to give goofballs like Toobin 3rd and 4th and 7th chances for redemption.  He could "spank the monkey" at home for awhile, and then come back later.

Well, this is later.

Jeffrey Toobin was welcomed back into the "good" graces of the Clinton News Network in an interview yesterday with their anchor Allyson Camerota.  He "whipped off" his coat, "jerked off" his tie, and sat down.  Ahem!  She said, "Many of us have really missed having your legal analysis to guide us on to progress, so let me be the first to welcome you back!" (!) 

Grovel, much?

He said his actions were "...deeply moronic and undignified, and he was really sorry for this lapse in judgement."  He begged forgiveness, and she gave it to him.  On behalf of their rapidly-fading Network, I suppose.  

Damn, you can wiggle the tube steak on national television now and get a seven month vacay!  Where do I sign up?

(P. S.  I knew a guy who passed out every time he got an erection.  Seems as though there wasn't enough blood for he and it both!  He couldn't blink either.  Not enough skin!  I gotta' a million of 'em!)

Saturday, June 12, 2021

"The Taking of Pelham 123"

I was rambling around the program guide on the TV the other day and lit upon "The Taking of Pelham 123."

You may recall this movie as fondly as I do.  The original was made back when they made good movies.  1974 produced a number of fine films, this being only one.  Pelham "1" starred Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw, Hector Elizondo and Martin Balsam.  A crisply drawn script and a compelling backdrop, plus a killer cast, make this a great way to blow a couple of hours.

Pelham "2," the re-make, opened in theaters in 2012.  It starred Denzel Washington, John Travolta, Luis Guzman, John Turturro and James Gandolfini.  What a troupe!  I thought, "Why not lose myself in a real popcorn-munching, shoot-em-up action movie?"  I mean, I've been locked away in my humble abode for more than a year awaiting permission from Boy Guv to leave.  So I really needed some good ol' fashioned entertainment.  And Pelham "2" promised to deliver exactly that.

I pushed "record" and gave it not another thought.  And then when time came to play it back, I noticed I'd recorded it on "BET."  That stands for "Black Entertainment Channel" I came to find out.  Ummm, yeah.  

I thought that was more than strange.  And a little bit in-your-face unconstitutional-ly pandering.  To the owner, Bob Johnson's other fellow Blacks.  Us against them and all that.  I'm sure that's good business for Mr. Johnson.  But it's blatantly racist, so far as I am concerned.  

And I also wasn't aware that this was a "Black" movie?  Just because it had a Black lead actor it became a "Black" movie?  When did that happen?  Pullleeeezzz!

How about this?  How about we start the "White Entertainment Channel?"  Would that go over well?  And then show only movies starring White folks.  And then the "National Association for the Advancement of White People."  And there's gotta' be a "White Studies Professor" at Berkeley, right?  And how about the "United Caucasian College Fund?"  Like that?  And the "Congressional White Caucus?"  You knew there's a "Congressional Black Caucus" in the House of Representatives, didn't you?  It's open only to Black people.  Ummm, what?  In 2021 America there's a group of Congressweenies who will only allow members with their own skin color to join.  That's racist, of course, but it's right out in the open, so what's the big deal?

Oh yeah, the "Congressional Black Caucus" is made up only of Democrats.  No Republicans allowed.  We know that.  Representative Bobby Donald of Florida, a Republican, and Black, tried to join the other day.  They wouldn't let him in... 

Want me to stop?  And then we'll throw in the "White Entertainment Awards."  I'm killing me (and others may be plotting to do the same)!!!  And maybe the White Farmers of America, and the "White Bartenders Guild?"  Oh yeah, and...   

I've got many, many more, but I think you've gotten the idea.  It would seem to me that we could go a long way toward peace and harmony if we just stopped separating ourselves along racial lines.  Like we did before last May.  

I suggest we stop using racial descriptors like "Black" or "Hispanic" for all things except in criminal cases.  And let's stop using "African-American."  Are they African, or are they American?  Or at least, how about "American-African?"  Seems better to me somehow.  I mean, we say "American Indian," don't we?  Oh wait, I guess we no longer use that term.  It's racist or something.  It's now "Indigenous Personages" I believe.  

Confusing, yes?  It was made so by those who are doing their dead level best to divide us along racial lines so they can gain, and keep, power.  And we know who they are.  Let's defang them.  Let's take away their power.  Let's just stop using race to describe each other.  At all.  Okay?     

You do that for me and I won't start the "White Entertainment Channel..."