I just received my 519th phone call from a guy/gal/other (Taxifornia, don't cha' know) looking to sell me car and/or home insurance.
Why?
Because I'd made the mistake of calling about a dozen large home and car insurance companies about a week ago whose names we all know. Looking to do the job our Gubimint isn't doing. Lemme' 'splain...
I wrote a check for a new Chevy 409 Impala Super Sport back in 1962. $2,920.09. While the Beach Boys record was still on the charts. That was the top of the line back then. To buy a run-of-of-the-mill Chevy with no special appointments today will set you back right at $51,150. Why so much? Inflation. The very same reason we're more than $40,000,000,000 in debt. That's with a "T."
Trillion. That's Four Thousand Billion Dollars. Enough to buy a new Ford Mustang for everyone in Washington State. And Oregon. Pretty soon it'll be Wyoming and Utah, also. Because our Gubmint is in competition with us, you and me, for pants, and shirts, and underwear, and cars, and trucks, and homes, and eggs, and sausage, and everything else. Remember, they're Amazon's biggest customer. Except, I might note, they can print money. We can't. Should we try, the Secret Service - their other job* - will be on our ass RAT NOW! Leaving us at their mercy.
You should also remember that 'Murica took in more than $4.5 Trillion Dollars in income taxes last year. An all-time record. But spent more than $6.2 Trillion Dollars. The $1.7 Trillion we spent but didn't have was added to our National Debt. Our leaders should be ashamed. If they had any smame, that is.
So instead of working to lower our costs to meet the savings of those of us 47 Million Retirees, they're endeavoring to raise the hourly and salaries of workers, the 62 Million of us out there plugging away on a daily basis, to meet the new higher costs. So they continue to get their votes. That's why those in the drive-thru with degrees from USC and Berkeley are saying, "Would you like fries with that?"
So it's up to me in self-defense to try and lower my costs. My costs of home and car insurance being some of them. Which have been too damn high! And which mainly serve to pay the greens fees of my Farmers insurance agent. An agent whom I do not know,* I have never met, and don't ever expect to. I've learned he bought the agency along with my policies, from the guy who bought the agency, from a guy who bought the agency, from a guy who bought the agency 8 years ago. Back when I purchased the my home and the policies. Never met a one of them. But they've been happily spending my premiums ever since. Not a single claim. No tickets. No accidents. No DUI's. But those premiums continued on.
It was time to look at making a change.
So I sat down two weeks ago and began calling the major insurance companies to explore my potential savings. Not expecting anything other than information.
That was my first mistake.
Back when I was a licensed insurance agent, some 60 years ago, one sold insurance for a company to those who needed it. Mine was Monarch Life and Casualty. You sold Monarch to a a guy/gal/other who bought Monarch policies, who wrote a check to Monarch, wnich then issued Monarch policies, and wrote my commission check from Monarch. The only insurance broker was the one you worked for. Now? Ya' ready for it?
I just received my 527th phone call from a broker looking to sell me car and/or home insurance. From as many as 100 difference companies! And you'll pardon me if I receive several more calls as this blog posting is written. Because, it seems, we now have a new reality. There are dozens, HUNDREDS of brokers living in their parents' basements, monstly since COVID, just waiting for a phone call from an AI robot, or some dude in India, or Viet Nam, looking for people like me to fill out an ad on the Internet. One requesting an insurance quote. Then whomever reads that ad calls the midget in his mom's basement. Who's been awaiting that call. (Pardon me... Time out.) Who then calls me. (Number 538 so far.)
That guy/gal/other then calls me, and offers to sell me one of his policies. Which he doesn't understand, or care about. While probably eating bon bons. And watching Jerry Springer reruns.
Now then, I've been looking to lower my costs by about half. It's my fault, actually, having not paid much attantion to my costs. But I am doing so now. Especially since I don't drive more than about 500 miles a year (5 spinal surgeries, so far). It costs me about $6 dollars a mile here in Taxifornia to drive the 1.1 miles down the hill to Sonic to get a BOGO burger and save about $2.50. Then put the old steed away for another few days. So I've contacted all these nationally-known companies, expecting they'd call back with a proposal. But they've permitted the midgets to sell for them. Probably saving $Jillions in the process. Dayummm, the phone has been ringing off my hand! I'm up to 540!
The bad news: 536 of them have been a waste of time. The good news: 3 of those calls have produced quotes of about half of what I've been paying. So far. I was asked why I keep on answering my phone. Even a blind pig finds an acorn every now and then! And as I've been telling them all, I intend to make my choice by the end of the week. To decide just who to do business with. And then shut off my text and email services so as not to receive any more of these worthless offers.
Nothing aganst AI or India or Viet Nam or blind pigs, mind you.
I should say I live alone. Just me and my ten pound Maltese puppy. Who does not speak Maltese. She does, in fact, endeavor to speak Dobenman, as she barks at anything that drives, walks or flies by. Which is better than any Ring camera. Her barking alerts me to a visitor, which gives me the notice I need to arm up with my .357 S&W pistol, just in case there's an attempted break in. There hasn't been one so far, dammit, so just me and Puppeee. That's her name. She has her own Facebook page, in case you'd like to check her out. She has a bunch of followers so far. Perhaps you'd like to become one as well??
She tells me (in Doberman) it's tough to type with those fuzzy feet. One would think. But she's working at it. You can check out her running commentary at your leisure.
So I've been given the chance to rail at all these dummmasses trying to sell me insurance, when I know more about their products than they do. And I have just chosen a new agent. A 24-year old Black guy from Lost Angeles who has endeavored to work with me to find a new policy with the proper limits. At the proper price. And a new home policy that meets my needs. Good on him. Apparently there are still those willing to do the job God gave them to do.
Bad on all the other dufussesses who wasted both my time and theirs. Although my time I imagine was far moe important that theirs. I have so little of it remaining. Because there's more of my life in the rearview mirror than out the front windsnield. They have mucho more, as their basement living arrangement will no doubt go one for years to come.
Mom's are so forgiving, right?
And this should serve as notice to each of you that you're likely being taken to the cleaners by your insurance agents. Without even knowing it. And the likelihood is in direct proportion to the number of invites you receive to let them buy you lunch at the country club and pay for a round of golf. After all, it's your money they're spending...
Wooof! Wooooof! Oh oh! Number 542 just rang me up. While mumber 541 is on hold....
In short, one can either be supremely pissed at this new reality, knowing there's not a dayummm thing you can do about it, or decide to make it entertaining. Dayummm, this is entertaining!
* The Secret Service was formed to catch those manufacturing there own money in their basements back in the 1860's. As in those days, each municipality was printing its own. Putting our Country at risk. Protecting our Presidents was a follow-on job, which evolved in Lincoln's time. A job led by a guy named Pinkerton. You know of him, right? He was our foremost private eye at the time. You should Google it when you get a chance. Oh yeah, when in D.C., be sure to visit the Treasury Department. And watch pallets of $100 bills being produced. Pallets bigger than a washing machine. Many, many of them. You'll have a new and better understanding of why we're now $40 Trillion Dollars in Debt...
** You should know that in fairness, I put in a call into Mr. Ed Alexander, the current owner and broker of the Farmers agency in Norco who holds my insurance policies. I introduced myself to him (why should I have to do that again?) and asked that he review my situation and call me back with his professioinal advice as to how I could reduce my spending (mot expecting much, as any reduction reduced his commissions). He was frankly surprised to hear from a lowly policiy holder, which probably messed up his golf game. He promised to do so and call me back ASAP with his suggestions. It is now nearly two weeks later. Do you think he's called me back? NOTE: To all Farmers agents. If you at the Farmers Christmas party and Ed's there. slap him across the lips for me, will you? Twice. The thought of you doing so leaves me all warm and fuzzy.
UPDATE: I called his office yesterday and uttered a string of unprintable expletives about him and his service to his secretary (he wound't come on the phone). To let Mr. Alexander know what I think of him and Farmers. I dedided not to wait for Christmas...