Wednesday, August 31, 2022

The Truth About Electric Cars...

You may have heard that a group of 16 unelected bureaucrats known as the "Air Quality Management District," in once-beautiful downtown San Franpoopco, where stepping over piles of sh*t has become a sporting event, have unilaterally decided that California should outlaw normal, everyday, gas-powered cars made after 2035.  13 years from now.  For some strange reason.  To be powered somehow by some wind and some sun and an aging, overused electricity grid in dire need of an upgrade.  And the power to make them run, and to charge up these throwback new cars, is currently more than half supplied by coal

Yes, you read that right.  

Is this a longed-for revolution away from dirty carbon-based energy, to clean, neat and wonderful electricity?  Or is this a policy "circle-jerk" by a group of Left-wing idealogues infected with "same-think," playing with our futures like Greek Gods to satisfy their present urges?  

You know the definition of "Progressives?"  It's folks who think that can pick up a turd by the clean end... 

I'm assuming that this decision by the AQMD came as a result of some really fine bud, most likely a private hybrid strain available only to high-ranking Democrat politicians.  At least 40% THC.  Wish I had some.  I'll bet it would knock your dick in the dirt.  

Lemme's see.  CA has 30 million gas-powered cars on the road.  And Boy Guv Gavin Newsome is going to replace them in 13 years.  

Riiiiiighttt!!!

Hey, you and me, let's talk about the wrinkle in this whole deal.  The part about making it, you know, "possible."  The reality of the whole thing, doncha' know.  When you come down off your high.  When the weed runs out.  Well here are the facts.  In order for this to work seamlessly, without negatively effecting our daily commerce while under such a transition, we must accomplish the following:

     -  For full adoption nationally we would have to install 30,000,000 (that's MILLION) Public Charging Units spread across the Fruited Plain.  That would work out to 478 a day, every day, 7 days a week, for 8 years.

     -  That would cost $35 Billion Dollars (that with a "B").  Of somebody's money.  And not the publics' money.  This must be a private investment,  for private gain.  Because the public does not need it.  We already HAVE lots and lots of nice, clean-running automobiles we can gas up on every street corner.  Elon's been handling it so far.  Who's gonna' help him pony up?

     -  It would involve the installation of more than 28 Million Home Charging Units, at an average cost of $2,500 each.  On top of a pricey $67,000 electric four-wheel battery on wheels which gives its owners range-anxiety forevermore.  Nice.  

     -  And as for California, that would mean 1.2 Million Public Charging Ports, at an average cost of $2,600 each, to be installed in just the next 13 years.  Public money, again.  But how many people do you know that can buy a new $67k car, when the one they have now works just fine, and then spend another $2,500 to be able to use it?  And all that from a State that was to bring you the "Bullet Train," which was supposed to originally cost $30 Billion, and is now with cost overruns is up to $100 Billion!  

And no train!

I want you to remember that the oily prick in Sacramento who's pimping these overpriced toy cars today, is that same keep-your-hand-on-your-wallet who told us years ago the "Bullet Train" would take us from Lost Angeles to San Franpoopco, in under 8 hours, for under $100.  That's so we wouldn't have to take those smelly, dirty, polluting airplanes.  Now, as the absolute poster child for "goal-shrink," they hope that it may one day soon take you from Bakersfield, a place you don't want to be, to Modesto, a place you don't want to go.    

And it still isn't going "whoo whoo!"  And it won't anytime soon...

Oh yeah, almost forgot.  We just got the alert.  It's supposed to be hot for the next several days, because it's, ummm, Summer.  And it gets hot in Summer.*  But our aging grid won't permit such excesses as charging electric go carts when it's hot out.  So you may not charge your car when you get home tonight, or for the next several nights.  Hope you didn't have anywhere to go.  Like work...

If you do, I'm sure your neighbor, the one who helped you buy it, the one you shot your mouth off with about saving the Earth, would be happy to give you a ride in his gas-powered car.  

I'm almost certain he would...

*   BTW, they're not very good in Winter, either.  They charge 50% slower, and discharge 30% faster.  Howza' 'bout that all-night charge that gets you 100 miles?

Monday, August 29, 2022

"Semi-Fascism!"

Mr. Joe O'Biden took time off from vacation the other day to school us plebes on what constitutes "MAGA-Republicans."  As if we needed his help.  They are, he said, "semi-fascists."  And then he doubled down and repeated it.  And then his legal immigrant Black gay woman ignorant Press Secretary made it indelible by repeating it once again during a formal press conference.   She said, 

"MAGA Republicans are semi-fascists."

That's what she said.  Isn't that like being a "little bit pregnant?"  

Well lemme' see here.  Webster's New World Dictionary defines fascism "As a political system headed by a dictator under which the government controls the businesses and labor and the media, and opposition is not permitted."

Hmmm.  See any similarities here?  In case you don't, let me provide some help: 

     -  Wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to unilaterally shut down the Keystone-XL pipeline, a project between the governments of the U. S. and Canada?  One projected to employ more than 100,000 union laborers, at an average rate of $75.00 an hour?  One where we were to share the costs and proceeds, projected to be 800,000 barrels a day, pumped straight to our refineries in New Orleans?  Cheaply, cleanly, and safely?  Much safer than by rail, or by truck?  And this just at a time when we're some 400,000 barrels a day short, reflected at the gas pump?  Oh, and pissing Canada off immensely.  BTW, they simply pumped the oil from the Alberta tar sands to Vancouver, and then by transshipment to, ready for it?  China.  

Wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to do that?

     -  And wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to unilaterally end the 20-year overseas military involvement in Afghanistan, against the advice of his generals, when we only had 2,500 advisory troops still there, and to the death of many, and to America's disgrace?   With Afghan loyalists falling off the landing gear of our C-17's?  To America's everlasting shame?  We left more than 1,000 Americans and 87,000 Afghan advisors there! 

Wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to do that?

     -  And wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to hire 87,000 new Democrats to help extract a few more dollars from the pockets of the peons?  By becoming an ARMED IRS agent?  Carrying concealed in case you, the Taxpayer, fail to pay what they think is your fair share.  By being paid top-dollar to join the Club and start contributing to "the cause," ala the Democrat National Committee, and get out there and start those audits?  

Wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to do that?

     -  And wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to open up our southern border to all comers, in contravention with our Federal laws?  To the tune of nearly 4 million known illegal entrants, so far, and then fly them under cover of darkness all over America using COVID relief money to pay for it?  

Wouldn't that take a fascist dictator to do?

     -  And wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to unilaterally wave his aged, manicured hand and erase the debt of 40,000,000 scofflaws, mostly doctors and lawyers and engineers, who took out loans and failed to repay them, in effect rewarding bad behavior with other bad behavior?  Especially when this lying old would-be, "Semi-Dictator" said as recently as 2 years ago that he didn't have the authority to do this?  And that old hag at the House of Representatives said the same thing?  

Wouldn't it take a socialist dictator to do that?

     And wouldn't it take a fascist dictator to sic his FBI on concerned fathers and mothers who just want their kids taught reading and writing, and not gender reassignment?  To actually brand them as "domestic terrorists" and treat them as such?  To arrest and jail them for simply speaking out at school board meetings?  Are you friggin' kidding me?

Wouldn't it take a socialist dictator to do that?

There are many, many other examples.  And I just might list more in the future.  But as for now, try as I might, I cannot recall a single instance when Trump waved his manicured $Billionaire hand and did anything like the above.  Oh yeah, he once tried to move some already-apportioned Defense Department budget money to finish building the southern border wall.  Which we need so desperately now!  And about which those mayors in Big Blue northern cities who work so know to know absolutely nothing?  Besides that, can't think of a thing.  

Can you?

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Public Announcement!

I doubt any of my prospective assailants will take the time to read this Public Announcement.  Assuming they can read, that is.

But whether they can, or cannot, I'm posting this as my Public Announcement that I would rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.  That I will henceforth be carrying some sort of "personal protection" every time I leave my abode in the event some Bad Guy chooses to try and deprive me of my Civil Rights and interrupt my exercise of free travel and free expression.  And the continuance of my previously free life. 

(That's legal-speak for failing to leave me the Hell alone.)  

That that "personal protection" might be a knife, or it might be pepper spray, or it just might just be a firearm.  A "gun."  Oooooo!!!  Yeah, one of them.  And it might just be all three.

And we know that the Bill of Rights states in the 2nd Amendment that I have the absolute Right "to keep and bear arms," whether the state in which I currently reside agrees with it or not.  And by "arms," they meant firearms."  So I intend to arm myself with a copy of the Bill of Rights in the event I get waylaid in my travels by a someone charged with collecting tolls and who wants to know why I'm packing heat.  And that, simply, will be my answer.  

It might not satisfy that guy, or gal, or "it," (gotta' remember, this is California!), but that will be my answer.  And likely as not I'll never be asked the question unless I've been forced to protect myself from some evil perpetrator, and drop him/her/it like a bad habit.  Somebody tries to jack my car at a stoplight?  I'll rearrange his anatomy.  I even have special ammunition designed especially for that special occasion.  It's a fair trade, right?  So as I said up there above, I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.  And since I never, ever miss, the likelihood is also great that whoever got in my way would then be pushing up daisies.  They would never, ever trouble another citizen.  Get my drift?  It should therefore be a cut and dried affair.

So if you happen to know someone who harbors the intention to commit some felony anywhere near me, and with apologies to Nancy Reagan, please pass along to all those would-be perps:  Just Say No To Felony!

I'd like to leave you with this:  It's said that Samuel Colt, the inventor of the famous Colt .45 "Peacemaker," made a five foot tall woman equal in stature to a 6' 5" bully.  And an old coot like me equal in stature to a gang of car thieves.  Try me...

As I said, "Public Announcement."  I'll remain silent and just refer the arresting officer and the jury of my peers to this statement if and when the time ever comes...

Friday, August 26, 2022

"Giddiyup, Giddiyup 409"

Our oily Guv. Newsom just announced that his unelected, 16-person Air Quality Management District Board just decided, all by its lonesome, that California should prohibit all gas-powered cars after 2035.

And I just read that Elon and his Gang raised the price of their fully-automated, completely self-driving Tesla option to a whopping $15,000.  Mr. Money believes that some of us are so indelibly stupid that we'd pay him to do the driving.  Of his little grossed-up go carts.  Which routinely drive their owners into rivers and lakes and over small children.

Are we Americans now so indifferent to cars that we want somebody else to do the driving?   

What has happened to our society that we don't relish the freedom, the joy, the absolute religious experience that comes from driving down life's freeway?  Fully in control, the wheel in our hands, wind in our hair, totally uninhibited by anything.  I grew up in that era.  An era where we dreamed of our 16th birthday so we could take that right of passage known as "driving."  The freedom it offered.  There was nothing quite like it.  There still IS nothing quite like it.  It was intoxicating!  And now that I've framed the subject quite nicely, I thought I'd offer something a little different for your reading pleasure...

                                   ////////   +++++   \\\\\\\\

I had to pay extra for the seat belts in my first brand-new car.

That was waaay back in the winter of 1962 and I'd just ordered my new, 409 horsepower, 409 cubic inch, Impala Super Sport, fitted out with two four-barrel carburetors, a 4-speed transmission and a 3:70-1 posi-traction rear axle.  It was my nineteenth birthday present to myself.  And my brand-new car came equipped with a Beach Boys record on the charts...

I had turned into a fair country pool player in my yout (what's yout?).  I learned at the age of 13 that I could use a pool cue to separate other nice folks from their money.  And I didn't hustle.  No, I explained to all future donors that I was the best they'd ever seen, and if they didn't believe me, I'd gladly charge tuition to the "College of The Chuckmeister" to show them.

BTW, "Chuckmeister" was my professional name...  

I was the best I'd ever seen by the age of 16.  I was "on the road" at 17, visiting dirty dive bars and dimly-lit pool rooms, enriching myself at others' expense.  So you'll understand that I thought everybody carried a gun and wore a money belt.  And I was raking in the cash.  Living past the age of 40 was not in my plans.  Nor my expectations.  And I just loved fast cars.  VERY fast cars. The fastest!  Nothing else would do in my home town with several AHRA drag racing national record holders.  So I thought I'd join the ranks of the uber-fast boys in Chillicothe, MO, by ordering up the very fastest thing you could own back in 1962.  

Did you know that these beasts were delivered with 7:50-14" General Jet-Aire tires?  They had a contact patch of about 4."  Four inches wide, 409 horsepower.   That's the width of your palm.  Simply put, this car would lay rubber from a dead stop to 150 miles per hour.  So easily would it burn rubber that I sold the back tires to a recapper exactly one week after I bought this baby, for the princely sum of $1.25 each.  Because '62 was the first year for thin-line whitewall and the recapper thought he could make some money.  Otherwise, he said, they were worthless.  Brand new tires.  Trashed.  In one week... 

Annnd, ummm, I also learned that day that only ONE of the two four-barrel carburetors had been hooked up during this first, rubber-melting week.

Oh yeah, it was Honduras maroon in color with a black bucket seat interior.  Perhaps the very best way to order this beast, as evidenced by how much they now bring at auction.  I saw one fitted out like mine just bring $85,000 at the most recent Barrett-Jackson auction.  And it wasn't completely restored.

Anyway, I'd owned several cars up to that time, but they were all used.  And I was bitten with the need for speed, and a brand-new 409, while the song was still on the charts ("Giddiyup, Giddiyup, 409!"), was nothing short of intoxicating.  So I was just reviewing the Moroni sticker from that car.  And believe it or not, I'd ordered seat belts as an extra $7.00 option on a $3,835.25 car.  

Hard for us to believe today, but that was back when the cars were made of tin, more or less, and they just plunked enormous motors in them and shoveled them out the door.  Oh, the Cadillacs and Lincolns were made heavier, but not safer!  The brakes were all terrible, they had no air bags, and no "crush zones," and your chances of living through a serious accident was pretty well nonexistent.    

And by "serious," I mean any speed above about 55 mph.

A car that made it 100,000 miles was a rarity back then.  Most expired at the 60,000 - 80,000 range.  And then took a one-way trip to the junk yard.  They were viewed back then the way we view toasters today.  Just buy them, drive them into the pavement, trade them in.  We called it exercising the "greater fool" theory, as the next poor fool was stuck with it.  Or just leave them out in the back 40 to rust away to nothingness.  We just beat the crap out of them.  That's why these "muscle" cars are so hard to find in good condition today, and therefore, so relatively rare.  And why the term "barn finds" came into existence.  Now you know.

As a matter of fat, heh heh, you could expect to see at least one car along the side of the road, with the hood up, on every single trip you took.  Why?  They had a complete model change every single year, preventing them from ever getting anything right.  Each edition, or model year, was the very best the engineers and designers could do with a limited pile of money in 12 months.  With the greatest emphasis on design.  making them beautiful!  And they were!  If you're now aged you may not know that our car makers didn't stop annual redesigns until the mid 1970's.  Finally permitting them to focus on getting key components...right.

My opinion here, but a rational one.  Just think, today the design of most models last 4 or 5 years, or even longer before any major redesign.  Tesla's from 10 years ago look just like the ones today.  That saves $Billions of dollars!  And those $Billions could be invested in safety and reliability and performance and comfort and handling, and, and...  

And they were hyper-unionized back then.  All Jimmy Hoffa and the AFL-CIO, and pay them more for less work.  Everyone was warned to never buy a car made on a Monday or a Friday.  The workers were all hung over on Monday, the theory went, and anxious to get to their cabin on the lake early on Friday. 

The cabin they bought with their super-high union wages. 

And on either day the stuff they made was crap.  Is all of this news to you?

I should emphasize that this was before the Japanese hired one of our best "time-in-motion" manufacturing experts from MIT and developed the "just-in-time" industrial revolution in the early 'sixties.  Then the Hondas started coming off the boat, and the people started learning that Hondas last forever, when they were theretofore used to disposable cars.  And so did Toyotas!  And Suburus!  And Mazdas, too!  The Japanese Revolution was upon us!  And the Germans began eating our lunch as well.  The percentage of autos made by American companies went from almost 80% in 1950 to a current 32%!  And every Detroit auto CEO who oversaw this tailspin into irrelevance retired a $Multi-Millionaire.  Why does any GM or Ford or Chrysler exec ever get a bonus?  They learn slowly, don't they?

I even bought a little bitty Honda Civic station wagon as a third car for my burgeoning family back in 1972.  It was ugly, cheap, refined and absolutely free to drive, as it never broke down.  In more than 100,000.  And I treated it like it cost me.  I beat it like a red-headed stepchild.  What a shocker!  

Oh yeah, I wish I still had that 409.  It would do 12:20's at 109 mph in the quarter.  That was mui fast back then.  And my next car, a 1963 Max-Wedge Plymouth 426 in white with a blue interior.  4-speed, of course, with a 4:10 Detroit locker.  11:11 at 121 mph.  Some of you will know what all of this means.  

And my 1965 Oldsmobile 442, 4-speed, 400 cu. in., dual exhausts, black, black interior.  And my 1966 Chevrolet Corvette coupe, 427 cu. in., 425 hp., in Goodwood green, green leather, with all four of the most desired options.  They were: Off-road steering, off-road suspension, off-road brakes and the off-road exhaust system.  Don't know why I ordered a radio, as you couldn't hear it.  The 3" exhaust tips emptied right below my left hip, in a cacophonous display of a "f... you!" to anyone not inside your cocoon.  This car would bring $500,000 at auction today...

But then a funny thing happened on my way to frolicking about aimlessly forever; I got drafted.  I got sent to Europe to save your backsides from communism, which ended my tire burning for awhile.  You'll note I was successful, and within a year I owned 5 cars.  But that's another story...

The remainder of the 127 cars I've owned will have to be dealt with later.  And trust me, I remember every single detail of each of them.  But for now, thanks for taking this look back with me.  Trust me, it was more fun to live it than it was to recollect it...

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

How to Eliminate Black People...

So I was doing some research the other day.

That's what you hired me for, right?  To look into stuff you'd be interested in finding out more about but you just don't have the time?  Because you're working your ass off trying to make a nice comfy home for millions of newly-minted illegal aliens?  Just sayin...'

So back to my research.  I started looking a bit deeper into this whole abortion kerfuffle.  Actually, it's more than a kerfuffle, really.  It's more like an all-out war.  When pro-abortionists feel the need to burn down pro-life centers, as they have more than 100 times since the "Roe" decision was dropped, then it's War!  Notice, there have been NO pro-abortion centers burned down in the same time frame.  Or any time frame, for that matter.

(Come to think of it, maybe it's time for a few of us to start burning down abortion centers?)

So I wanted to know more about what causes people to want to murder other people, or even almost-people, as the guy who tried to kill Kavanaugh so indelibly proved.  And what I learned should chill you to the core.

Margaret Sanger believed in "eugenics."  That's a fancy word for racial purity.  As in, "eliminating all non-White folks."  And in her case, the Black ones especially.

And one way she thought that could be brought about was through abortion centers.  Places where women could go and off-load an unwanted pregnancy.  And so she created the first abortion center in Brooklyn in September, 1916.  Women lined up around the block.  And the police just as quickly shut it down.  And the legal war between those who want unfettered, anytime abortions, up to and including the very instant of birth, and those who want the sanctity of life protected, has been playing out.

And now, more than 100 years later, there are more than 600 affiliated Planned Parenthood health care and abortion centers.  With each one delivering a sort of ironic "un-parenthood."  

Sanger, an R.N., interestingly, was so dedicated to eradicating all Blacks everywhere that she affiliated herself and her organization with the Ku Klux Klan to try and gain traction.  That should tell you all you need to know about Sanger's motivations.  

And so now, 106 years later, Planned Parenthood has aborted more than 65,000,000 fetuses.  I define "fetus" as a to-be-born human.  You may choose to define it differently as a random mass of protoplasm.  

But masses of protoplasm, I might add, seldom grow into humans.  

Anyway, of those 65,000,000, more than 18,000,000 have been Black.  Since the Black population in America is 49.9 million, or 14.6% of our little band of freedom-lovers, the Black population would have been one-third larger than today without Sanger's vendetta.  And thus, had a much larger political influence than is currently the case.  Yet, more than 85% of all the abor..., er Planned Parenthood centers have been built deep inside big, Democrat-run, inner cities.  Where it advertises on buses and billboards its 24-hour availability. 

As a matter of fact, PP is attempting to open an abortion center on the University of Pennsylvania's campus.  So far it's not been approved...

Is it just me, or would the Democrat Party be bigger and stronger if it hadn't worked overtime for the past century to kill off its future voters?  Especially its future Black and Hispanic (Latin"X"?) voters?

Hey, as the father of four daughters, far be it from me to try and preach abstinence or avoidance or appropriate birth control methods.  They know for themselves what to do and how to do it.  But advising that a woman should not use PP as their primary method of birth control should get me no argument.  From anyone.

You may not know this, but we, the Taxpayers, you and me, give PP more then $500 Million Dollars of our tax money every year!  oAnd then they turn around and give more than 90% of it back to Democrats to influence elections nationwide.  Surprised?  Or were you just assuming that Democrats had some natural, deep-seated love for abortions?  No, they have a deep-seated love for political contributions, and for POWER.  And PP gives them an avenue to attain, and retain, POWER.

However, one must ask oneself how much more powerful they might be if they hadn't routinely killed off so many of their future voters?  The ones who would have voted for some of the crazy crap they put forth today.  Like throwing money at the climate (that's the weather, dummass!)?   

But I'll just sit back and compute the facts as they are: Latinos/Hispanics/Latin-X-er's, make up 18.3% of our population.  Adding back the 18 million Black babies killed by Sanger over the years would have made the Black folks population 18.8% of our population.  And therefore more politically powerful.  It's not nice to mess with Mother Nature... 

Just sayin...

Monday, August 22, 2022

All-Expense Paid Trips to NYC!!!

Are you as poor as a church mouse?

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?

Would you like to add a little spice to your miserable plebian existence?

Ever wanted to take an all-expense paid trip to the Big Apple?  You know, New York City?  But out of your financial reach?

Okay, then, listen up fellow Patriot!  Let's say for a moment that your job is to restock Preebles and Vargles at your local Big Box Store.  And for doing that, 39 hours a week, only, so you don't qualify for healthcare, you're paid $X-teen dollars an hour.  With which you can't even fill your tank and buy yourself a Happy Meal.  And all this leaves you too poor even to buy those Preebles or those Vargles you restock everyday!  

If you're pissed off at the world, destined to always be a day late and a dollar short, lemme' recommend something to you that might prove enticing...

You've heard how the illegals are pouring across our southern border in record numbers?  And getting primo treatment from Joe O'Biden, even plane and bus and train rides to wherever they want to go?  Well, Pilgrim, how about living on the wild side?  Simply drive to the Tiajowanna border, park your car, walk across, and then add a "z" to your last name.  Ladle on the ManTan real heavy, buy yourself a sombrero, and then wade back across the Rio Mui Grande a newly-minted LatinX!!!  

Ei Carrrrramba!!!

The overworked guards will give you a cell phone and a bus ticket to wherever.  Just tell the nice border folks you'd like that "wherever" New Yawk City!  Within 3 days you'll be visiting Times Square and the Statue of Liberty!  Who knows, they may give you a ticker tape parade!  And all at Texas' Gov. Abbott's and the put-upon citizens of Texas' expense!  And you'll get sandwiches and plenty of bottled wa wa on your trip up.  Plus, you'll get to see plenty of 'Murica on your way, with lots of rest stops so you won't get too tuckered out.  And once there you can give that hypocritical, two-dimensional, under-experienced, little loudmouth ex-subway cop mayor the finger, in person.

But don't do so until you get your swag!  No, no!  Just wait 'til you hear this!  You'll first get ANOTHER cell phone upon arrival in NYC, and plenty of neat coupons to illegal-loving merchants.  And then they'll put you up in the "Row NYC Hotel," one of New Yawk's finest.  Right in the heart of Times Square, it goes out at $560.00 a night for a single, $699.00 double.  Oh yeah, and $22.00 for a two-thirds full glass of house champagne, just made in the basement.

So far NYC's Mayor Adams has contracted for 6,000 pricey hotel rooms for his new out-of-town "guests." 

Now then, you have to enter and exit the hotel through a separate exit so you don't mingle too much with the paying guests.  The ones who are paying for your rooms.  Wouldn't want to make them feel like they're getting the O'Biden Shaft.  

Oh yeah, they're getting free healthcare, too.  Why wouldn't they?

And best yet, fellow Pilgrim, Cardinal Dolan is offering free private tuition to his Catholic schools for 1,000 of these precious little illegal darlings.  The same schools NY Catholics pay through the nose for their kids to attend.  But hey, screw them!  Your kids could qualify!

Simply blow off your job at Costco, head for the border, and board that fateful bus.  You'll be in NYC for your new and mucho more wonderful life than the one you left behind here, in Taxifornia.  Where $X-dollars an hour will never, ever, ever be enough for you and your growing, now illegal, New York family...  

Think of it:  Just pretend to be somebody that a few years ago was considered an interloper, a transgressor, a trespasser, because that same illegal was, and is now considered an honored guest!  Of a corrupt, mind-numbingly inept, and hopelessly stupid President.  

But you, fellow Patriot, can make this work to your advantage.  You can wind up with a vacay and nobody will know the difference!  After all, the immigration courts are so backed up because of border-jumpers like you'll be very soon that it would be 9 years before your case comes up.  Nine Years!  And by then you'll most likely be given "Dreamer" status...  

Can you imagine what the REAL countries are saying about America?    

Saturday, August 20, 2022

"Emperor Joe of Fentanyl"

(BTW, before I begin my occasional rant, I'd like to start by saying how lucky you are to be receiving my messages, in effect, from the "underground."  If my readership were greater, and it's substantial as it is, it would attract the attention of the "Big Guys."  And they would attempt to "cancel" me.  But because my readership is smaller, relatively speaking, they disregard me.  To their everlasting shame.  So your ability to read my opinions, and the opinions of others, unfettered by the micromanaging hand of some Silicon Valley $Billionaire, and then pass them along, like French Freedom Fighters during the Big War, is what I seek.  I think we can do without those folks, don't you?)

Now then, to get started, here's a little factoid that just might surprise you:

While Joe O'Biden has been President of these here United States, the number of deaths of his citizens from Fentanyl in San Diego County has exploded from 33 in 2016 to 845 in 2021.

And that's just one county.  In one state.  

The amount of Fentanyl seized by the Border Patrol has ballooned from just over 120 pounds in 2017, to more than 5,000 pounds, and that's just so far in 2022!

Let's talk lethality here.  Picture a salt shaker.  Shake out two grains on the table in front of you.  And amount almost too small to see.  If that were Fentanyl, those two grains would kill you 

And not just the two grains; no, just shaking it out in front of you would kill you!  And because it's so much cheaper to make than cocaine (thanks, China!), the drug cartels in Mexico have focused their production almost entirely on this drug.  It's no longer plant-based!  They don't have to grow it.  And process it.  They just have to mix it and ship it north.  To El Norte.  On the backs of illegal aliens.  Who O'Biden welcomes with open arms.  To kill those stupid Nortenos...

This drug is 10 x more potent than heroin!  That's why we have first-time users dropping like flies, all across the Fruited Plain!   Imagine having a business so good you could kill off all your customers, one by one, and they'll keep coming back for more!

How is this being permitted to happen?  Because our Mumbler-in-Chief, one Joe O'Biden, a guy who couldn't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight, has opened up our southern border.  Wide Open!!!  While the cadaver he appointed to be Secretary of Homeland Security, a tool named Mazorkas, repeats over and over, "Our border is secure."  He does so with some far-off gaze, as if high on his own supply.  Which he just might be...

O'biden promised back in 2019 while on the campaign trail that he'd boost illegal immigration by 2,000,000 a year if we'd just elect him.  Apparently some didn't believe him.  Those who voted against him, did.  And you'll note that's one of the few promises he's kept...

The Facts:  We have a 1,723 mile-long border.  From Brownsville, Texas to San Diego, California.  And while our depleted force of Border Guards are filling out "Welcome to America" paperwork and handing out cell phones in one part of its vast expanse, the drug cartels are shipping Fentanyl across the other unsecured parts of it wholesale.  With abandon!  Every day.  And only those who watch Fox News and NewsMax and a couple of other small cable news stations are in on the secret.  Those who live in the Big Blue Cities either don't know about it, which is more than likely the case, or they just don't care.  That they might be that crass is also possible.  But it's a little secret that's destroying America...

COVID-19 posed a risk to America.  We confronted that risk, and defeated it.  Failure to secure and defend our southern Border represents a serious risk to America's defense.  In addition to the more than 2,000,000 illegal aliens who have waded across the Rio Grande this year, there have been more than 454,000 "gotaways."  And that means just what it says.  They ran and our Border Guards weren't able to catch them.  454,000 people from any of 175 countries, so far.

Think about it: if our Border Guards are waiting to greet you, with a towel and a warm cup of cocoa, why would you try to escape into our interior, like a thief?  Duh!  Perhaps you're a thief?

If this doesn't change, 5,000,000 people from somewhere, offering who-knows-what, and needing everything, will have streamed across our southern border by the time the O'Biden Administration draws to a thankful close.  That's the population of Houston and Portland and Seattle and Phoenix.  Filled up to the brim with people who don't speak English but need to learn it, and have no formal education but need to obtain it, and both at great cost to our taxpayers.

Imagine being a middle-school teacher and having 20 non-English-speaking immigrant kids in your classroom on the first day of school?  What to do next?

Think about this:  we're forced to take off our shoes when we want to board a flight.  And then get felt up by a fat TSA agent with a bad attitude and bad breath.  Who makes more money than we do.  And you can't take more than 4 ounces of anything with you.  Yet, fellow dumbasses, all your (un)friendly Iranian terrorist has to do is wander across our unprotected border with a suitcase nuke under one arm, and a bag full of Fentanyl under the other, and start causing mayhem.  And guess what?  If he gets caught, and sent to prison, his quality of life improves!!!

Feel safe yet?  Wonder why our people are buying nearly 3 million more guns every month?  

Last year we lost 103,258 people to Fentanyl overdoses.  That number would fill Dallas Cowboys stadium!  With Standing Room Only.  And overflow into the parking lot.  And we're on track to surpass that number in 2022.  Two grains of salt.  Enough to kill you.  And because it aerosolizes, even breathing it from a distance will kill you!  There was a bust in San Diego last week that contained enough Fentanyl to kill everyone west of the Mississippi River.  One bust.  And oh by the way, fellow Pilgrim, the $750 Billion Dollar Obamacare and weather "fixing" bill they just passed last Friday may have $87 Billion for the IRS, but, ummm, nothing for our Border Patrol and Protection.

Not a single additional Border agent.

Think about this: Each and every one of those new 87,000 IRS agents will be card-carrying and dues-paying union drones, who vote uniformly and predictably DEMOCRAT.  Another 87,000 reasons why "The Swamp" is a One-Party town.

And either Joe O'Biden knows he's culpable in these murders, or he should know.  He's guilty before-the-fact in the destruction of hundreds of thousands of American families.  And guilty after-the-fact for not initiating such legislation that would correct this terrible error in judgement, and STOP it in its tracks!  And only HE can do that!  These deaths are foreseeable!  They are predictable!  O'Biden's killing more people than did his Chinese friends with their little homemade virus!  

It's O'Biden's fault!  He could put a stop to it.  And he hasn't!  Did you know that Black guy who choked by some bad cops a couple of years back had Fentanyl in his system?  That's why I named him, "Sir George of Fentanyl."  And it stuck.  The Internet loved it.  The name went viral.  The "Legacy Media" picked it up.  And I think we could make it happen again.  So, fellow Patriots, lets name him...

                "Emperor Joe of Fentanyl"'

He's killed more Americans than all the car wrecks and all the gunfire and all the drownings and all the infant deaths in an entire year of our increasingly meager existence, combined.   If you agree with me, pass it on.  

If you don't, just continue on with your "I don't want to get involved" existence.  If not you, who?  And if not now, when?

Wednesday, August 17, 2022

The "24-Hour Rule"

My dearly departed wife Elaine and I were strong willed people.

We fought like the proverbial cats and dogs in the early days of our relationship.  We we each wanted to do it "our way," and found it difficult to give up our individuality.  And we fought over the most inane and inconsequential things.  Things not worth fighting for.  But we were in essence just fighting for dominance.  For control.  Stupid, if you wish the relationship to blossom...

Or, so I thought.  To myself.  While out driving around trying to cool off after a particularly loud and nasty fight.  So I came up with a plan.  A plan I thought could help to solve our problems as they arose.  Not after they'd been simmering for days.  In short, that was the question: how to stop a fight before it gains traction.  And I thought I had the answer...  

So I drove home, apologized to Elaine for whatever she'd done earlier in the evening (ahem), and then shared with her my brainstorm:  

             "The "24-Hour Rule."  

And now I'll share it with you...

     -  No matter what your partner does, no matter how mean or nasty or soul-crushing or unfair your partner might act, you have "24 hours" to express your displeasure.  In any way you deem appropriate.  However, after that, after tomorrow has come and gone, the matter will be closed.  It will not be permitted to simmer.  It will be over.  Forever!  It may never be brought up again in an argument.  Deal with it...

Elaine listened to my idea.  She thought for a moment, then said, "Let's give it a try."  That was in the first year of our almost 38 year marriage.  A marriage in which we not only lived together and had four kids together, we also started and ran a 24-hour medical services company, together.  And out of our house in the early years.  This forced us to work together, side-by-side, every hour of every day, for almost 38 years.  

Did we have disagreements?  YES!  Almost every day.  But we worked them out.  Quickly.  We accorded each other the respect we ourselves wanted, and got to a settlement macht schnell.  

We learned that bringing our work home was a bad idea.  We thought it was unfair to our girls to subject them to the vagaries of our business, so we just zipped it as the car turned into the driveway.  And it worked.  Famously.

We told everyone we knew about our "24-Hour Rule," and now I'm telling you.  Adopt it.  It worked for me.  For us.  And if your relationship is a bit rocky, and you'd like to right the ship, this just might put it back on track.  

You're welcome... 

Monday, August 15, 2022

Calculators at 50 Paces...

The 8th and last time my wife and I were audited was by far the most interesting and entertaining.

We started and ran a company for more than 38 years, you see, and were looked upon like the Christmas goose the Gubmint plucks.  Whenever it needs a little extra cash.  And not just us.  No, no, every business you see up and down Main Street!  They all pay too much taxes, in their opinions, and they are correct.  And they don't pay nearly enough, according to every Gubmint Entity in America!

That would be Federal, states, county, city, village, township, gathering, collection, or a pair of constables with a speed trap looking to pad their retirement.

But that 8th audit was primo!  It was conducted by a tiny Vietnamese lady accountant who couldn't have been more than 22 years old.  See was about 4'10" and weighed no more than 90 pounds.  She spoke with the accent of a "Boat Person's" offspring, which was to say, "broken English," and was no doubt bright or she wouldn't have the position.  She spoke so softly we could barely hear her, and wore horn-rimmed glasses that covered most of her miniscule face.  Plus, she continually looked down at her notes so you couldn't even lip-read.

In short, it was an exercise in United Nations meets The Dalton Gang.

The Net Result of all this was a Vietnamese auditor trying to pry a few additional $Thousands out of us, negotiating with my wife, a woman from the Streets of New Yawk City, and a 1,600 math score wizard, who knew our books and our finances inside-out and spoke like a Brooklyn cab driver.    

It was really something to watch.  The little auditor would ask a question, and my wife and bizz partner would proceed to answer it will what she called "jabberwocky."  A collection of words that sound sincere, but in actuality provides one with no information at all.  And you think it's your fault.  Not a Karmellla word salad, to be sure, but a bunch of words that sound good together, but just don't compute when you take them apart.  So the questions have to be asked again.  And again.  Tick, tock...

You might not know that each audit is ascribed a certain number of hours to investigate and wrap-up.  They look at your return, decide how much they think you've tried to cheat them, and then ascribe an amount of agent time to try and hound the poor bastard into coming clean.  Hopefully with a fat $Check, made out to the Dept. of the Treasury.  In our case, we found out by prying that our audit was "assigned" no more than 40 hours.  So, my wife just strung Mzzz. Vietnam along under they ran out of time.  And in our case, that audit forced the Gubmint to write us a check for $18,000

(We finished up "Us 6 - Them 2."  Not bad for a couple of normal folks just trying to scratch out a living in a David v. Goliath battle with the Forces of Evil.)    

Now don't think that just because we were audited 8 times, we were somehow tax cheats.  No, quite the opposite.  All you need to draw audits like flies to a pile of elephant dung is to be a corporation.  Or a Sub(s).  Or a partnership.  Or a fine dining restaurant doing a few $Million with expenses and deductions that those who know absolutely nothing about the business but are in a position to throw a "flag on the play" feel are somehow "excessive."  Because they have a degree.  And now, a badge.  Oooooo!!! 

And then they launch the Fires of Hell in your direction and force you to stop what you were doing, which was conducting business and paying taxes, and bring them every piece of paper you've ever touched.  And receipts from a luncheon you bought 9 months ago.  And justify why you spent some amount of money you can't remember some number of years ago on some item you can't recall.  Or why 3 big box delivery trucks like ours burn so much fuel delivering medical equipment over a 1,500 square-mile area on a 24 hour-a-day basis.  

Something tells me the problems I faced when I was fighting various Gubmints while trying to run a bizz, in my spare time, is nothing compared to what the current crop faces today.  With the new "Prop-Up Obamacare and Fix the Climate" bill, the IRS is due to receive an unheard of chunk of cash.  Like an $80 Billion Dollar Chunk.  With which they must hire 87,000 agents!  Or, more than double their current gang of money-grubbers!  They're going to be auditing each other!

And guess what, fellow, Patriot?  No more little Vietnamese auditors.  From now on they'll be 45 year-old ex-Marines with a two day-old stubble, bad breath, and an intimidating bulge under the jacket of their off-the-rack suits.  We've just learned the IRS has purchased more than 500,000 firearms, and some 5 Million Rounds of Ammunition!  And in addition to packing heat, their ad for these new hires stipulates that, 

"They must be willing to use deadly force."  

They quickly pulled down that portion of the ad, but I've seen a screenshot of it and it gives one pause.  Not paws, pause (the benefit of a liberal arts education).  So I'm picturing meeting between the auditor and the Target, someone like me, with crossed sabers at the local high school stadium, or with dueling pistols at 75 feet.  Or maybe more like, "Just give me the money and nobody gets hurt."

From now on it will be Standard Operating Procedure to take a concealed weapon with you to your audit.

It's now a fact: Business owners and managers must factor in this increased risk to capitol formation when deciding whether or not to start a new business.  And where (please God, not here!).  With the passage of this Bill and the hiring of all these agents, the Gubmint has thrown down the gauntlet.  It's now war.  The Gubmint think's it's your now not-so-silent partner.  

"And therein..." as Shakespeare once said, "...lay the rub."

Saturday, August 13, 2022

Political Theater...

So our Atty. General Muldrick Garland has been catching it from both the Left and the Right.

Those on the Hard Left want Garland to arrest The Donald, put him in arm and leg shackles, and then frog-march him to straight to a military tribunal and a nice, comfy cell in Leavenworth.  

After which he'd be summarily shot.  Twice.  Double-tap, as we say...

Those of us Conservatives want Garland to actually follow the law (what a concept!) and protect Supreme Court Justices.  We want him to force O'Biden to secure our southern Border.  We want him to arrest the entire evening lineup from MSPMS (like Brennan, and Comey and others too onerous to mention).  

They've all lied to Congress, under oath, and they've all skated.  

And don't get me started on Hilliary!  We all know about her personal server, and her 33,000 emails, and learning all about "Bleachbit" and wiping down hard drives.  And the fact that her campaign funded Christopher Steele's slimy little dossier.  Which breathed life into "Russiagate."  And cost us 3 years of angst and agony and more than $44 Million Dollars.  And she's taking long walks in beautiful Chapaqua.

But then there's August 9th, 2022.  Another of those "days which will live in infamy."  Garland sicks 30 or 40 or his very best FBI agents on Trump's Mar-a-Lago Florida compound.  Lights flashing, helicopters hovering, sirens blaring.  Live, on CNN.  They serve a warrant, kick out Trump's attorney's, make them turn off the CCTV cameras, and then go on a 9-hour fishing expedition of The Donald's bedroom.  And Melania's clothes closet.  And left her clothes strewn all about.  

I wonder if anybody tried on her clothes?

They went from a cordial visit in June, these agents did, to an all-out assault in August.  And from what we're told, they thought nobody would notice.  Pulllleeeezzzeee!  They did this in the very most public, obvious and character-damning way they could think of.  They placated their commie base with a little blood.  And they now smell that blood in the water.  One of the commie commentators (hey, I like that!) at MSPMS is for moving straight to a public execution...

All this to dirty Trump up and keep him from running in 2024.  We were on a glide-slope to socialism since Woodrow Wilson installed "Progressivism" into American politics.  Trump interrupted it.  He DISRUPTED it!  He actually wanted to lower taxes and reduce the regulatory strangle hold and make us energy independet.

Ooohh Noooo!  That's NOT what the Hard Left wants!  Nor the person who writes what O'Biden reads on his TelePrompTer.  They just want to prop up the rickety old coot past the next General Election.  To try and kill off any possible competition and keep him - and them - in power.  The same way they do it in Venezuela...

On the way out the digital door, so to speak, just a comment:  If the Hard Left wanted to keep from giving Trump a political lifeline, they just failed.  Miserably. 

BTW, awhile back Venezuela had one of the top ten economies on Earth.  Now, after they borrowed in anticipation of unrealized income, and a whole bunch of that "Don't cry for me, Archennteeeena!," they're eating their zoo animals.  Fortunately we in America have a lot of zoo animals...  

Thursday, August 11, 2022

Hey, Dummies!

    Corporations Don't Pay Taxes!!!

The Democrat Party has been working overtime for decades to try and pry loose some of the profits they know are hiding in the jeans of those reeeely big corporations.  And their reeeely big $Billionaire owners.

Especially the 50 or so who've been using our laws to figure out how not to pay income taxes.  Not even a penny.  Think about that the next time you order from Amazon.

The $Multi-Billion Dollar corporations are the ones they're talking about. The Libs want desperately to get their mitts on some of that money so they can spend it on saving the planet from a fiery Hell of "Climate Same."

So instead of changing the tax laws so that everybody's got skin in the game, the Democrats have just passed into law $87,000,000,000 (that's with a "B") to pay for the care and feeding of 87,000 new IRS agents.  87,000.  Annnnd, their ad makes it known these new agents will be packing heat, and not be afraid to use it!

Once this "Hire-O-Rama" concludes, the IRS will be bigger than the Pentagon, the Department of State, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and our Border Patrol and Protection authority!

Here's the deal, as the cops like to say.  Corporations do not pay taxes!  Corporations are nothing but a deal on paper between one or more people and somebody else.  The owners get shares, and they conduct business.  But they have certain protections against law suits and unreasonable taxation.  And most especially illegal penetration of their vaunted "corporate veil."  And that protection is...they pass any tax increases they might receive along to their customers!  

You cannot box in a corporation.  If you make them pay a minimum tax of 15%, they'll firstly do everything they can to avoid it.  After which they'll simply increase the price of their product or service.  If these dummies, with all their Yale law degrees, expect corporate bosses to "take one for the team" and eat the tax increase, they're simple-minded.  The Chairman and CEO of any corp would be summarily fired if they didn't protect the shareholders by increasing prices.  Read it and weep...

So all you "Progressive" tools of Marxist ideology out there, all of you who live to grab the earnings of others, all you've accomplished by your reckless vote is to increase the cost of living for your constituents.    

The same constituents who are expected to vote their asses out of office come November...

Tuesday, August 9, 2022

In Your "Gift Basket"

The some of you who voted Democrat during the last go round just found out what's in your "gift basket."

You were just gifted with 87,000 brand-spankin' new IRS agents!  Whose sole job is to extract money from you, the Taxpayers!  And they presumably thought that more than doubling the size of the IRS from 74,000 to 161,000!  With  less than 2% of those agents in other than tax enforcement jobs.  

Do you feel all warm and fuzzy knowing your friendly IRS is getting $80,000,000,000 (with a "B")?  So they can go after the "rich?"  Well, fellow Patriot, we have some 340 Million People here in America.  And less than half of them pay income taxes (48%).  So if you take half our population, or 170 Million People, and divide them through our new, 161,000 workforce, you'll wind up with 1 agent for every 1,068 taxpayers!  

Then do the normal income distribution on those 1,000 folks.  Half of them will be earning incomes of $75,000 a year, and they'll be the Big Fat Target of the vampiric new agents.

But don't think they'll be the only ones affected by this awful slap in our collective faces.  According to the Congressional Budget Office, everyone who pays taxes will pay more taxes because of this Bill.  Like I said, they lie when the truth would sound better.

I wonder if they'll make them actually come in the the office?

Remember to vote different come November...

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Controlling the Weather...

What is it about the Democrats, and more specifically the "Progressives," that makes them think they can control the weather?  And by throwing money at it?  Reeeely?  

So Senator Chuckie Schumer managed to corral Senator Joe Manchin long enough to get him to agree to the new and laughably called, "The Inflation Reduction Act."

And it seems they've also managed to bring Sen. Kristin Senema (D-AZ) along to this destroy-America party as well.  She wanted a whole bunch of goodies for her $Billionaire donors in Arizona, which Chuckie S. was happy to provide.  Imagine being so powerful you can say, "Sure, we'll just increase corporate taxes!"  Or, "Sure, we'll just give your State $5 Billion in drought relief!"  Not AZ's neighbors NM, or CA, which are also suffering with droughts of their own, the very same friggin' drought, just AZ.  Talk about chintzy!  

This $739 Billion Dollar Bill is actually nothing but a slimmed-down "Bill's Back's Better," which was the $3.5 Trillion Dollar Bill good ol' Joe O'Biden wanted so desperately to pass last year.  And but for Manchin, he would have.  And we, America, would have been screwed.  Or, ever more screwed than this newer edition will make us.  I guess we have that to be thankful for.  

But as I said, they lie when the truth would sound better.

My favorite part of this new Bill is the $367 Billion it earmarks for "Climate."  Or, better put, "controlling the climate."  They, these two-dimensional partisan dimbulb ideologues, actually believe they can control the weather!  Like Castro thought all Cubans would like living in a dictatorship.  They don't seem to realize that "climate" is a function of what everyone on Earth does, not just America.  Hey!  The atmosphere rotates counter-clockwise of the Earth.  So what's in Shanghai today will be in Taxifornia next Saturday.

But because they're so idealistic, and so overwhelmingly underqualified to make decisions on this level, they seem to think they we can somehow "fix" the "climate crisis."  Of which there isn't one.  By "throwing" $327 Billion Dollars at it.  What a bunch of ignorant fools...

Whaddaya' wanna' bet Paul Pelosi gets a big chunk of that?

I suggest another tack they might take.  I suggest we just take hundreds of thousands of brand-new $100 Dollar Bills and throw them out the door of a helicopter hovering over mid-town Manhattan.  And simulfriggintaneously over the  Miracle Mile in Chicago.  And downtown Baltimore (careful, they shoot at helicopters!).  And maybe even Austin, TX, where escapees from Taxifornia brought all their bad habits.  

We could call it "climate change," as it would be just as likely to "change the climate" as spending it on windmills.  Hey, try Googling "extreme weather events 12,500 years."  You'll discover that we've had at least two mini-ice ages and two global warming events in that time-frame.  But they don't have time to Google.  They're too busy saving the planet.  At least the passage of this new and destructive legislation might have the advantage of ending the fruitless conversation on the subject, and also enrich a whole bunch of vagrants waiting below.  

I'll bet they'd promise to be eco-friendly in exchange for those $Benjamins...

Or maybe a few $Million over Chicago's Southside, where everyone is shooting each other.  Maybe they could stop and pick up a few bucks (Hey!  Ammo's expensive!).  And then over every Big Blue Democrat-run city north of I-70 (it cuts America in half, if you hadn't noticed!).  Maybe if they had some more cash in their jeans they'd stop trying to kill each other and every cop they see.

Anyway, this new piece of legislation will cost you and me almost $One Trillion Dollars.  Just as we are trying to tamp down the flames of inflation (too many dollars chasing too few goods).  Sprinkling another $Trillion onto a superheated economy will have disastrous effects.  Remember, they're spending OUR money!  Wouldn't you like to have a say in how it's spent?  I'll bet you thought you did?

But the Democrats are flailing away at anything they can find to try and change the downward spiral in which they now find themselves.  They are going down in flames.  They're hoping that any new spending could possibly buy them a few more votes, and maybe a new lease on life.

I doubt it.  They're going to lose the House.  And even with what I consider to be flawed candidates (Dr. Oz in PA and Hershel in GA), they'll still squeak out a one Senator win to take back the Senate (my prediction; hold me to it).

And then we'll be in an armlock with whoever's behind the curtain, writing the words O'Biden reads on the TelePrompTer.  HE'S the guy running the show.  And HE'S the guy we need to hamstring for the next two years.  

Hold up your hand if you think his last name starts with "O."

Thursday, August 4, 2022

Say it, SUV's Are Ugly...

As in, uggg - leeee!  

They are short, squatty, tall-ish and a "soccer mom" looking means of convenience.  Pushed in toward the middle from both ends, and up toward the top from the bottom.  

Not a stylish sedan, two- or even four-door, or even the classic station wagon, the SUV seems to be a convergence of the two.  One we didn't ask for, but needed, in my professional, car-loving opinion.  Please allow me to pontificate...

I was around when the very first "SUV" came around.  It was the 1983 Chrysler "mini-van."  In fact, my wife and me were heavy into building our family back then, so we bought the very first 1983 Plymouth Voyager to come off the car hauler in Orange County, California.  It fit our bill to a "T," as we produced 4 gorgeous daughters and carted them around in our Voyager for a couple of years.  To lots and lots of soccer games and tournaments and visits to Las Vegas and everywhere under the sun.  In fact, we wore it out, and wound up trading it for a full-blown Dodge conversion van with a back seat TV and refrigerator and separate A/C and power folding bed and rack on the roof and like that.  

And then another one...

Oh yeah, as to the building our gorgeous daughters in the mini-van.  We did that someplace else, if you really must know...

Was it beautiful?  No.  Was it utilitarian?  Yes.  And that's why we bought it.  And that's why Mr. Lee Iacocca's "hail Mary" to try and save Chrysler back then ultimately stirred the creation of today's SUV (it's a great story.  Look it up.  Or wait long enough and I just might tell you...).

Back when I was coming up there were four basic shapes of vehicles:  The four-door sedan, the two-door sedan, the station wagon and the convertible.  Oh yeah, and the pickem' up truck.  We've still got that one.  In fact, the Ford F-150 pickup is still the most popular and best selling vehicle in America today, and has been for more than 20 years.

Today?  If you squashed the four-door sedan together with the two-door sedan and the station wagon, and then made it taller by about 12," you'd have today's SUV.  And about half of our population has not lived in a Country without them.  BTW, SUV stands for "Sports Utility Vehicle."  Did you know that?  And there was very little you could call sporty about those first SUV's, but some of today's SUV's are actually more sports cars than "utility" vehicles.  If you check out the specs on the new M-B's or Audi's or Porche's or even Dodge's SUV's you'd be knocked out.  They put out as much as 707 horsepower and will accelerate from 0 - 60 in just over 3 seconds!  That's Ferrari and Corvette performance!  Of course, they'll cost you $150,000, or even more!  

And they're expected by their manufacturers to be a second, or even a third car!  

Did you know that Porsche was on the verge of bankruptcy until it launched its Cayenne SUV?  They now sell 4 Cayenne's for every 911 that rolls off the line!

So it seems the SUV has morphed from the original soccer mom conveyance that wasn't so yucchy that the man of the house would drive them sometimes, into today's 7-person sports car, which isn't so yucchy to serve as some folks' primary conveyance! 

Today's SUV continues to morph into a quicker and faster means of getting from A to B.  And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it continues to morph into a - ready for it? - a STATION WAGON again!  I've noticed that good ol' fashioned station wagons from the '50's and '60's have started to gain in price at the collector car auctions.  And I'm betting people will soon be asking themselves, if I really need an SUV, why not buy a station wagon instead?  They're lower, longer, seat the same number of people, and are down there where the rest of society hangs out.  But they're much easier to get into and out of and are much comfy-er for the family. 

Oh yeah, and because they're based upon cars, as opposed to trucks, they can be as much as 2,000 pounds lighter!  And a ton of car takes far less horsepower to pull around.  So a car with 300 hp could equal the performance of one with 200 hp more!  And they'll get a heck of a lot better gas mileage!  In this "day and age" of $7.00 a gallon gas (thanks, Brandon!) an extra 4 or 5 mpg would be appreciated!

Annnnd, because they weigh a ton less, that's a ton less steel you'll have to buy!  So station wagons will be mucho cheaper than the SUV's that replaced them, and will be replaced BY them one day probably after I'm gone.  Perhaps you could use that extra $4 or $5 or even $10 Grand?  

I don't care how you vote, this is an idea whose time has come...again!

What do you think, fellow motorists?

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Equity...on the Moon?

Remember Bill Nelson?  

He was the Senator from Florida for, oh, I don't know, maybe a hundred years.  He's the tall, good looking fellow, broad smile full of expensive teeth, carefully quaffed, movie star white hair, unnaturally full for a seventy-ish guy.  And when he talks, he talks with that air of certainty over nearly everything that got him elected, and reelected, many, many times over the years.  Just like his Democrat brethren.  And "sisteren.   

And because of California, now "otheren." 

But Nelson was far better than most public officials, which is why he was able to spend two lifetimes in the Senate, and then retire into perhaps the very best "double-dip" deal imaginable!  He's now been appointed to Director of National Aeronautics and Space Administration.  Can you get a better gig?  And just to show he hasn't ditched his leftoid leanings, just 'cause he's now retired and can stop the bulls**t, he spilled the beans during an interview with ABC the other day.  An interview that was really telling about the future plans of our vaunted space pioneers...

When asked about our plans to go back to the moon, (now) Mr. Nelson answered, "Yes, we're going back to the moon, and we'll be there before the end of the decade."  Although not asked, Nelson went on to say, "And just to show our commitment to equity and diversity, I can guarantee you that the first person to step back on the moon will be a Black woman!"  

At that I excused myself and went to the rest room and projectile vomited.

Now then, not just a Black, not just a woman, but a Black woman?   To this I just have to ask, if we're checking boxes here, why not make sure that this historic Black woman is also gay?  Like Karine Jeane-Pierre, our newest Press Secretary?  Who's perhaps the dumbest human being God ever created?  Assuming that she is a human being, that is.  And why not make sure she's also an immigrant?  And suffers from the heartbreak of psoriasis?  And is also maybe a Gypsy?  And is afflicted with bi-lateral polyneuropathy, like me?

It seems that no matter how old you grow, you never quite lose the idealism you grew up with.  And in the case of Nelson, that's a truly unfortunate thing.  For you, for me, for NASA, and for America.

But God help us, the Moon, the friggin' MOON, will now be used for virtue signaling.  What's left?