Being President is Like a Day at the Beach!

I didn't used to think I was qualified to be President.  Now then, I'm qualified to do a lot, like shooting pool, or shooting firearms, or shooting the sh*t.  But not POTUS.  No way, hose "A." *  

But then I read that this is the 402nd day our President of these here United States has been on vacation.

That turns out to be a full 44% of the entire time he's been POTUS.  Think about that.  We pay this dude $400,000 a year, plus all he can steal, the least he could do is pretend!

I didn't know there was a job anywhere in 'Murica that gives one 40% time off.  Paid vacay!  Full medical and benefits.  Replete with a 50-man protection group.  Who can sometimes protect people.  Not bad duty, huh?  

I used to think being POTUS was a tough job.  So tough that it would take a really special guy or gal to do it.  Managing the Federal Gubmint, plus the Swamp, plus international commerce and relations, plus keeping Peace on Earth.  

Except our current President hasn't done any of that.  In fact, we're told Mr. O'Biden doesn't make it to the Resolute Desk before 10:00 a.m., and takes no appointments after 4:00.  Being old, and all that.

And neither has his Vice President.  Who apparently has been appointed the "czar" of several projects, including the Border, but has failed to show up for any of them.  But is now deeply engaged in spreading  "JOY" throughout America, while she runs for POTUS.  

Spreading it thin like a load of manure.  

This is after having been appointed "Co-POTUS."  Thus easing out the guy who got the 14,000,000 votes in the primaries, while she got, ummm, how do I say this?

NONE!

And if a guy/gal can get that job done in 40 hours a week, I guess they deserve a couple of weeks off.  If they're real good at their job, maybe a month.  But not a year.  Almost half his Term.  And that's as of now.  There's still a few weeks left in his term for him to take off.   

Except he's given up on being Prez.  He's given it over to Harris, his Co-POTUS.  She's running things now.  While campaigning to replace Joe.  From dumb to dumber.  Which should put a shiver down your back.  

Does mine...

And being Prez requires one to be on duty 24/7.  Nuclear football, and all that.  But then again I guess you could do all that from the Beach at Rohoboth, Delaware.  Where Good Ol' Joe's been for the last several weeks. After taking a week off from the rigors of quitting his reelection campaign.  And then 4 more weeks to recuperate.  At either of his two beachfront mansions.  $20,000,000 worth of mansions.  Which he somehow managed to afford on a civil servant's salary.  

Quitting a campaign can be tiring, doncha' know...

In fact, O'Biden has just decided to do what one-third of the rest of all Federal workers are doing; staying at home instead of going to the office.  The aftermath of that dreaded Chinese Wuhan Coronavirus Pandemic.  He's finally discovered that just staying at the beach at one of his two mansions is actually cheaper for us Taxpayers.  We don't have to pay to transport his aged butt back and forth.  That Secret Service protection costs a lot, doncha' know?  When they actually do it.

Which is running at about 50% these days...

In fact, Secretary Rowe, our new-ish USSS leader, was clear to say in Friday's press conference, that there aren't enough trained Secret Service folks to go around.  And yet, he said they'll always do the job exactly as required.

Two mutually-exclusive statements. 

Just remember, we were told the untrained detail for Trump's Butler, PA rally were only required to watch a 3-hour Zoom video.  That's how we got the short babe who couldn't quite figure out how to re-holster her Glock.

So look, I'm applying for the job of President of These Here Ewwweuuunited States.  I can do the job in even fewer days than Uncle Joe.  I might not even show up, like Kamala's done for nearly 4 years.  And not passing any new legislation would be great for our Taxpayers!  Remember, legislation costs us money.  Shutting down D.C. to all new laws and regulations and rules and proclamations would save us all a bundle!  

Elect Me and Save Money!  I'll Do Absolutely Nothing!  And since I don't go anywhere, it will only take 2 or 3 aged Secret Service folks to protect me.  In fact, since I'm never more than an arm's length from something with "Magnum" in its name, and am looking forward to the chance to ventilate a perp, I don't really need any of those high-priced agents.  Just let me take out my frustrations on anyone dumb enough to try and cause me harm and I'll work for free...

*    Those familiar with the drive north up California's Interstate 5 will recall the town of "Hosinga."  It's a little wide spot in the road in the middle of our Central Valley.  Unless you needed gas you'd drive right by, wondering to yourself the etiology of the name "Hosinga."  Well, I have the answer.  Way back when the railroads were the only means of going north or south through California stopped at either "Hosing-A," or "Hosing-B."  That described the place where the steam engines had to stop to load up with water.  That was a century ago.  Once train technology improved and I-5 was built, "Hosing-B" was dismantled and the dash and capital "A" was dropped from "Hosinga."  Where else can you obtain such arcane bits of wisdom?