The Intolerable Whiteness of Being*

I'm starting to get a complex.

That's because I just learned that I'm "White."  And, that being "White" is a bad thing in 2021 America.  A really bad thing.    

Remember the "Heartbreak of Psoriasis?"  Now we have the "Heartbreak of Whiteness."  There was no cure for psoriasis back then.  And there's no cure for "Whiteness" now...

In truth, I've always known I was "White," (duh!) although I never cared.  Nor did any other White person I knew.  Or any other person of any kind.  Sort of like spending valuable time contemplating one's navel.  We were just "White," and there was nothing more to be said about it.  Sort of like having hair.  Or ears.  Sort of like those Black folks must know they're Black (duh!), and are okay with it.  And Asians must know they're Asian from a very early age.  I mean, there's not much they can do about it, so it's best to be stoic about one's lot in life.  

NOTE:  One of my Mom's favorite credos to live by was, "Never waste time worrying about those things over which you have no control."  If you cannot control it, then you can't change it.  And if you can't change, it, then why spend valuable time worrying about it?  And one's total melanin count, or relative shade of "beige" or "tan" or "brown" or "black" or "yellow" or "red" would seem to me to fit into that category.

And so must all those "Red" people running around here in Temecula.  We gave California gaming (casino) rights to the Native Americans 20+ years ago in an effort to assuage California's Liberal guilt for somebody's great- great-grandfather having mistreated his forebears 150+ years ago.  Not mine, but somebodies.  Mine were busy trying to find enough potatoes to eat.  

Same with those nice "Yellow" folks.  The very same ones we forced to build our railroads.  Conscripted labor, what?  Why aren't there any protests out there from Cher and all those other bleeding-heart Liberals?  Where's their casino?  Why aren't the squishy Libs wringing their little manicured  hands over this "slight of the White man?"  Yeah, why? 

Anyway, every news channel I happen upon these days showcases a feature about how "White" people are a scourge upon society.  An infection, somehow.  That we are "evil," and "wicked," and that we're guilty of fostering "systemic racism."  Oh yeah, and "institutional racism," which is kind of like the "systemic" variety, I guess, but different in many important ways.  

I guess.  

My favorite quote is that of Mental Midget Mayor of Lost Angeles Eric Garcetti.  He said, and I'm not kidding, "Systemic racism is when racism gets into the systems."  If a Conservative were dumb enough to mouth that inane, pre-pubescent crap, in public, in front of God and everybody, every Left-wing news outlet in the Country would go absolutely bat-shit crazy!  Got it?

So anyway, I always thought I was Caucasian, as far as race goes.  And race doesn't go too far around here.  But anyway, I'm a Caucasian.  And "Black" people are members of the "African-American" race, I guess.  At least that's the option those little "boxes" on applications tell us.  And our yellow friends are Asians.  And red folks are, ummm, well, just "Red," I guess.  I couldn't find another designation for those with this reality.  Other than "First," or "Native Americans," or "Indigenous Personages."  But nothing to do with melanin count. 

Come to think of it, maybe we should all undergo melanin counts and then post the results instead of "race" on those damn applications we're all forced to fill out?

(NOTE:  I'm also a part-time archeologist.  And cryptozoologist.  And farrier (look it up).  So you can take it to the bank that the "Red" man emigrated across the "land bridge" to America from Asia 100 million years ago.  So he gets his melanin from the same place the "yellow" man gets his, I guess.) 

Maybe they should start burning down some courthouses somewhere and they could get some racial equality for a change!  Oh wait, I mean "equity."  Oh yeah, they've already got the casinos.  They already rolled a seven in the equity category.  Never mind!!!

Anyway, as I said, I'm starting to get this complex.  And until or unless that Joy Reid person on MSPMS stops calling for my eradication, I doubt it will go away.  And I will hereby disavow all my "White Privilege," whatever that is, if it will help to restore some semblance of peace and quiet in our forlorn, battle-scarred society. 

Or, perhaps it's time for us "White" people to organize.  Maybe it's time for us to form little groups, perhaps under the cover of darkness, where we could discuss our collective plight and how to deal with it.  Including armed rebellion.*  Maybe we need a "National Organization for the Advancement of White People."  And a "White Congressional Caucus."  And a "White Entertainment Network."  And a "National Action Network for White People."  Anyone want to be Al Sharpton?

Now that we're either in the minority, as in California and New Mexico and Arizona, or very close to it, who knows how long before "they" decide to come for us.  As I said, I'm developing a complex, bordering upon paranoia.  

Actually, just one "noia."    

Remember when Michael Jackson was taking daily lemon juice baths in an effort to lighten the color of his skin?  Today?  I'm thinking if he were alive today he'd be just fine with his Blackness.  And then he could spend all that money he'd have saved on expanding his zoo...

*    With apologies to Milan Kundera...

**  "Armed rebellion" means the taking up of firearms either in personal defense, or with the intent of taking back freedoms and liberties which have been stripped from us by a bunch of commie pinko dumbass liberal weenies.  Oh yeah, and MOLON LABE!  (Look it up)