Prescience...

I wish I could foretell the future.

Were I able to see what's just around the corner, I would have shorted Gillette stock back when the Chinese decided to unleash their "Chinese Wuhan Killer Coronavirus Pandemic."  

I would have also bought some shares in "Uber."

Because when the Pandemic happened the Gubmint decided to shut itself down.  To send everyone home to immediately lock their doors, pull down the shades, get in their 'jammies and prepare for a long, long, LONG vacay.  From work.  Not from life...

Because in life you have to breathe, and eat, and sleep.  And shave, lest you look like a slob.  And being freed from that requirement can completely change one's life.

When the Pandemic hit we could all stop shaving.  And stop showering.  And stop dressing.  All of those who were theretofore dressing up every day for the office were finally freed from their miserable automaton lives!  They could now do anything they wanted.  They could walk the dog.  They could go shopping.  They could learn how to play the guitar.  Or learn fly fishing.  Or take up knitting.  Anything but work...

And you could also grow your beard.  Long.  Which could, and did, have a biiiig impact on the fortunes of those in the shaving industry.  The Gillettes.  And the Harry's.  And the Shicks.  And the $1 Shave Clubs.  As in, nobody was buying any of that crap anymore.  They were languishing in their underwear, eating bon-bons, watching Jerry Springer reruns while drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Anything but working.

And once that dreaded Pandemic was over, guess what?  They didn't shave those beards!  They kept on growing them!  As if they made the wearer somehow attractive.  Which they DIDN'T!  And DON'T!

Not one man in ten knows how to wear a beard in a way that adds to his attractiveness.  Or his sex appeal.  Most bearded gents look like they just don't want to shave.  And they don't care if it makes them look like a slob.  Apparently unaware that if they don't care, no one else will.  I'm guessing about half of them have been married so long they don't think it matters anymore (it does).  And the other half have given up any hope of attracting a mate so it no longer matters (it does).  

And then there's Uber.  That was a company, you'll recall, that was fighting with Yellow Cab to pick up passengers at the airport.  And then the Chinese unleashed their Pandemic.  All of a sudden we couldn't go out to eat anymore.  But we could order our favorite food delivered.  Voila!  Uber spun off "Uber-Eats!" 

And overnight "Uber-Eats" became a multi-$Billion Dollar corporation. 

Now you can order what used to be a $10.00 hamburger from XYZ restaurant, which now costs $18.00, and wind up paying $35.00 for it via Uber-Eats.  You can't even keep up with the many levels of charges you have to pay to get them to honor you with a visit.  But be sure to tip well - in advance - or they may not come at all.  

The good news is that you won't take a beard-wearer for a woman when you go to the local bar next Friday night (California's 57 genders complicates things, doncha' know).  That's one of the major benefits to wearing a beard.  You won't look tranny.  You might BE tranny, but you won't look it.

And the good news also is that you can order an Uber to take you home from the bar, and they can bring you a pizza to snack on while you go...