Well, they've gone and done it.
The House Judiciary Committee has voted, down strict Party lines, to impeach Donald J. Trump.
Not for a crime, mind you, which the Constitution requires, but because they could. And because they could, they did.
Me thinks they may have just opened Pandora's Box...
We all know that Trump will be exonerated in the Senate. Since it takes two-thirds of the Senate to convict, or 67 Senators, and since the Republicans have 53 nominal members in their Party, and that conjuring up 14 GOP senators to "flip" is not gonna' happen, AND THAT THE DEMOCRATS KNEW ALL THIS BEFORE THEY STARTED THIS ILL-FATED EXERCISE, we all now know that Trump will be exonerated. Not just found "not guilty," but acquitted, rendering this two and one-half year exercise by the Democrats to hound Trump from office finally over. For now, at least.
But Trump's impeachment for other than "Treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors," as the Constitution mandates, will surely open up an entirely new problem; impeachment for impeachment's sake.
Who knows? They just might impeach him again after he wins reelection in 2020! In fact, Democrat Rep. Al Green, who called for impeaching Trump the day he was inaugurated, has called for impeaching Trump over and over until they get it right. Hmmmmm.
That's why I've previously called for the creation of the Department of Impeachment so that we can manage this new activity properly. Just think: Every single new president gets inaugurated, and then simulfriggintaneously gets impeached. Each new president will be forced, due to this short-sighted and injurious decision by the Trump-hating Democrats, to drag the weight of impeachment with him/her/it, while desperately trying to govern.
Me thinks we may have just run out of reasons to continue this little American experiment...
And now San Fran Nan Pelosi, Madame Speaker, as she's known, is refusing to deliver the Articles of Impeachment to the Senate for trial. In other words, she's taken the ball and gone on home, at least until January 7th, 2020, the next day Congress is in session. Law professors, including the one that she invited as a prosecution witness, have opined that there IS no impeachment unless or until the Articles are presented to the Senate, so I guess Trump can skip on down the road as the one and only "almost-but-not-quite-impeached" POTUS in American history.
So the only question is, when will Netflix sue Trump? It really should. He's far more entertaining than it is...
Friday, December 20, 2019
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
The Department of Impeachment
You'll recall a few postings back when I called for the creation of "The Department of Impeachment."
That was in response to the tug-of-war going on in Foggy Bottom these days. The Democrats were dead-set on impeaching President Donald J. Trump in an effort to disavow and undo the 2016 General Election. And the Republicans were busy warning them that doing so would be a really bad idea. However, given that the trend among the Democrats was to drop the impeachment bomb on Big Bad Orange Man, sooner rather than later, and that they were doing so without any bi-partisan support from the Republicans, the Democrats were poised to become the very first Party in history to impeach a sitting President without ANY bi-partisan support.
None. Zip. Nada. Zero...
(History? Sure. V.P. Andrew Johnson was impeached by a vote of 127 - 47, with 17 abstaining. In Nixon's case, the Judiciary Committee voted 27 - 11 to approve the Articles of Impeachment, with 7 Republicans joining in with the majority. The Chuckmeister does his research!)
And it's happening again today.
And so I felt...and feel...that they, the Democrats, have opened Pandora's Box. Impeaching an opponent without any support at all from the opposing Party is not only not what our Founding Fathers had envisioned, it will set the stage for the impeachment of the very next president, and all the ones after that, no matter what Party he or she (or "it" - gotta' remember California!) belongs to, and no matter whether there's a reason. In short, one of these days there's going to be a Democrat President and a Republican-controlled House. And you can bet your sweet bippy that impeachment will ensue...
Sooooo, I, the Chuckmeister, hereby suggest that we put together the Department of Impeachment right now, so that it's all polished up and ready to use in 2024 or 2028 or 2096. Or whenever the Democrats next convince enough people in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Michigan to vote for them. And all the other states as well, but those states particularly, since they're the ones that put The Donald in the Oval Office (thanks, Hillary!).
Just think: The Democrats, aided by their hippppmotiiizzed hand maidens in the Dinosaur Media, started impeaching Trump the day he was inaugurated. The New York Post's headline on January 20, 2017, openly stated, "The Impeachment of Trump has Now Begun." California Dem. Rep. "Mad Max" Waters started her "Peach fawty-fie! Peach fawty-fie!" on that very day, and hasn't stopped prattling on about it since. Dem. Rep. Al Green has openly stated that they must impeach The Donald right away, lest he win again in 2020. In short, it's no surprise that they wound up impeaching Trump. They've been planning for it, as Speaker San Fran Nan Pelosi just stated, "...for the past 22 months. For the past two and a half years!"
(A gaffe, remember, is Washington-speak for that rare occasion when a politician accidentally tells the truth...)
Oh, there's other examples. Many of them. So, I suggest we just accept the fact that observing Constitutional niceties will no longer be observed. From now on, it's all-out war! Open hostilities abound! So why not simply recognize that fact and prepare the necessary administrative and procedural groundwork so that the impeachment hammer can be dropped as soon as possible following the next Democrat president's inauguration. In fact, I'm thinking the Inaugural Ball might be a good place to announce them...
Can't you just see it? A bunch of Congressweenies following the POTUS around with a pen and paper, just waiting for him/her/it to do something...anything...that might warrant impeachment. Anything! It doesn't matter what, given that the standard is now impeach-away without the need for any of those hard-to-find "High crimes and misdemeanors."
In fact, on the way out the figurative door, I suggest we also pass a law changing the definition of what it takes to get impeached, right now, ahead of need. Instead of "Treason, bribery and other high crimes and misdemeanors," I suggest we now proclaim it to be "Rudeness, unnecessary phone calls, and other low crimes and possible infractions."
There. Another sticky problem solved. You can expect nothing less from The Chuckmeister...
That was in response to the tug-of-war going on in Foggy Bottom these days. The Democrats were dead-set on impeaching President Donald J. Trump in an effort to disavow and undo the 2016 General Election. And the Republicans were busy warning them that doing so would be a really bad idea. However, given that the trend among the Democrats was to drop the impeachment bomb on Big Bad Orange Man, sooner rather than later, and that they were doing so without any bi-partisan support from the Republicans, the Democrats were poised to become the very first Party in history to impeach a sitting President without ANY bi-partisan support.
None. Zip. Nada. Zero...
(History? Sure. V.P. Andrew Johnson was impeached by a vote of 127 - 47, with 17 abstaining. In Nixon's case, the Judiciary Committee voted 27 - 11 to approve the Articles of Impeachment, with 7 Republicans joining in with the majority. The Chuckmeister does his research!)
And it's happening again today.
And so I felt...and feel...that they, the Democrats, have opened Pandora's Box. Impeaching an opponent without any support at all from the opposing Party is not only not what our Founding Fathers had envisioned, it will set the stage for the impeachment of the very next president, and all the ones after that, no matter what Party he or she (or "it" - gotta' remember California!) belongs to, and no matter whether there's a reason. In short, one of these days there's going to be a Democrat President and a Republican-controlled House. And you can bet your sweet bippy that impeachment will ensue...
Sooooo, I, the Chuckmeister, hereby suggest that we put together the Department of Impeachment right now, so that it's all polished up and ready to use in 2024 or 2028 or 2096. Or whenever the Democrats next convince enough people in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Michigan to vote for them. And all the other states as well, but those states particularly, since they're the ones that put The Donald in the Oval Office (thanks, Hillary!).
Just think: The Democrats, aided by their hippppmotiiizzed hand maidens in the Dinosaur Media, started impeaching Trump the day he was inaugurated. The New York Post's headline on January 20, 2017, openly stated, "The Impeachment of Trump has Now Begun." California Dem. Rep. "Mad Max" Waters started her "Peach fawty-fie! Peach fawty-fie!" on that very day, and hasn't stopped prattling on about it since. Dem. Rep. Al Green has openly stated that they must impeach The Donald right away, lest he win again in 2020. In short, it's no surprise that they wound up impeaching Trump. They've been planning for it, as Speaker San Fran Nan Pelosi just stated, "...for the past 22 months. For the past two and a half years!"
(A gaffe, remember, is Washington-speak for that rare occasion when a politician accidentally tells the truth...)
Oh, there's other examples. Many of them. So, I suggest we just accept the fact that observing Constitutional niceties will no longer be observed. From now on, it's all-out war! Open hostilities abound! So why not simply recognize that fact and prepare the necessary administrative and procedural groundwork so that the impeachment hammer can be dropped as soon as possible following the next Democrat president's inauguration. In fact, I'm thinking the Inaugural Ball might be a good place to announce them...
Can't you just see it? A bunch of Congressweenies following the POTUS around with a pen and paper, just waiting for him/her/it to do something...anything...that might warrant impeachment. Anything! It doesn't matter what, given that the standard is now impeach-away without the need for any of those hard-to-find "High crimes and misdemeanors."
In fact, on the way out the figurative door, I suggest we also pass a law changing the definition of what it takes to get impeached, right now, ahead of need. Instead of "Treason, bribery and other high crimes and misdemeanors," I suggest we now proclaim it to be "Rudeness, unnecessary phone calls, and other low crimes and possible infractions."
There. Another sticky problem solved. You can expect nothing less from The Chuckmeister...
Saturday, December 14, 2019
The Party of Bad Ideas...
"They that can give up a little essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Benjamin Franklin, 1799
It seems that we currently find ourselves in the midst of a seemingly never-ending tug-of-war between some in government (and entertainment, and education, and the MSMedia) who wish to remove from its citizens the right to keep and bear arms, and those citizens who demand that their Constitutional Rights continue to be observed.
Such is the battle raging in California, and New York, and Connneccticuttt, and Chicago, and many, many other states and localities. Those who wish to remove guns from its citizens' hands seem to believe that doing so will make society safer. And those with the guns know that it would do the exact opposite. The battle has been joined, and it is raging...
Virginia, as an example, just voted in a Democrat-controlled legislature to go along with its Democrat governorship. And with all the levers of power in VA now for the first time in more than 25 years solidly controlled by the Left, extreme anti-gun legislation not surprisingly has followed. And furious resistance has been mounted.
"I prefer dangerous freedom to peaceful slavery."
- James Madison, 1787
So far more than 70 of VA's counties have declared themselves "2nd Amendment Sanctuaries." Their sheriffs have sworn to deputize all their gun owners so that they will be exempt from confiscation, as is currently planned by the Democrat majority. Their Governor Northrup has threatened to call out the Virginia National Guard to enforce this legislation. Just imagine: Armed citizens with guns, being to sent to armed citizens' homes to unconstitutionally confiscate their arms. Whatever, I ask rhetorically, could possibly go wrong?
"A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of individual freedom from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government."
- George Washington, 1787
And then there's Chicago. This city is the poster child for why gun control doesn't work. It has essentially outlawed the private ownership of all firearms. Its laws are designed to make it nearly impossible to buy them, and own them, and carry them, and use them. Yet, Chicago is America's Murder Capitol. Chicago has reported more than 2,500 shootings so far in 2019, and 560 homicides. In other words, gun control doesn't work. And, it serves to disarm those who need protection the very most.
"The laws that forbid the carrying of arms are of such a nature. They disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes...such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants. They serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicide, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man."
- Thomas Jefferson,
(Commonplace Book)
More than 100 million Americans own more than 429 million guns (source: FBI, 2019). I would suggest that efforts to try and confiscate all, or even certain firearms from those who have legally purchased and are legally owning them is a really, REALLY bad idea.
But then again, so was impeachment. And that hasn't stopped the Democrats, now has it?
- Benjamin Franklin, 1799
It seems that we currently find ourselves in the midst of a seemingly never-ending tug-of-war between some in government (and entertainment, and education, and the MSMedia) who wish to remove from its citizens the right to keep and bear arms, and those citizens who demand that their Constitutional Rights continue to be observed.
Such is the battle raging in California, and New York, and Connneccticuttt, and Chicago, and many, many other states and localities. Those who wish to remove guns from its citizens' hands seem to believe that doing so will make society safer. And those with the guns know that it would do the exact opposite. The battle has been joined, and it is raging...
Virginia, as an example, just voted in a Democrat-controlled legislature to go along with its Democrat governorship. And with all the levers of power in VA now for the first time in more than 25 years solidly controlled by the Left, extreme anti-gun legislation not surprisingly has followed. And furious resistance has been mounted.
"I prefer dangerous freedom to peaceful slavery."
- James Madison, 1787
So far more than 70 of VA's counties have declared themselves "2nd Amendment Sanctuaries." Their sheriffs have sworn to deputize all their gun owners so that they will be exempt from confiscation, as is currently planned by the Democrat majority. Their Governor Northrup has threatened to call out the Virginia National Guard to enforce this legislation. Just imagine: Armed citizens with guns, being to sent to armed citizens' homes to unconstitutionally confiscate their arms. Whatever, I ask rhetorically, could possibly go wrong?
"A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of individual freedom from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government."
- George Washington, 1787
And then there's Chicago. This city is the poster child for why gun control doesn't work. It has essentially outlawed the private ownership of all firearms. Its laws are designed to make it nearly impossible to buy them, and own them, and carry them, and use them. Yet, Chicago is America's Murder Capitol. Chicago has reported more than 2,500 shootings so far in 2019, and 560 homicides. In other words, gun control doesn't work. And, it serves to disarm those who need protection the very most.
"The laws that forbid the carrying of arms are of such a nature. They disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes...such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants. They serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicide, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man."
- Thomas Jefferson,
(Commonplace Book)
More than 100 million Americans own more than 429 million guns (source: FBI, 2019). I would suggest that efforts to try and confiscate all, or even certain firearms from those who have legally purchased and are legally owning them is a really, REALLY bad idea.
But then again, so was impeachment. And that hasn't stopped the Democrats, now has it?
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
The Impeachment Follies!
For those of you out there in Internet-Land who are too busy making a living and raising your kids and paying your taxes to have paid any attention to the recent "impeachment inquiry" thingie unfolding in Washington, D.C., let me bring you up to speed. Let me tell you what this whole impeachment thing is all about, okay? Ready? Here it is...
- Direct Quote From Donald J. Trump,
During July 25th Phone Call With
New Ukraine President Zelensky
And so, the impeachment follies begins...
These were the words of POTUS Trump that the Democrat majority in the House of Representatives plucked from a congratulatory phone call between Trump and Zelensky on July 25th.
These were the words that the Democrats have seized upon to ignite the impeachment bonfire. It's lit, and it's raging...
These were the words that the Democrats are convinced will make you, the American people, want to force the President from office. It certainly has them.
And these were the words that were listened to, on the phone, by at least 25 others, in real time, including representatives of the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the State Department, the Office of Management and Budget, and various and sundry other lawyers and bureaucrats and secretaries whose job it is to listen to calls like these every single day and on every single phone call in the White House to make sure everything is recorded and nothing is misunderstood.
How prophetic.
(BTW, I'm guessing that if I wanted to do something that might get me impeached, I probably wouldn't do it with 25 or 30 people listening!)
No matter, the Democrats have just released their "Articles of Impeachment," which is their "criminal" charges against POTUS Trump. They are: 1), Abuse of Power (he did something they didn't like!). And 2), Obstruction of Congress (he wouldn't do something they demanded of him!). Interesting.
You should know firstly that Article "1" is not a crime. It is a political opinion. And neither is "2," an internal, inter-agency disagreement between two separate but equal branches of Government, most normally resolved using the courts. Except, as in this case, when one of the Parties discovers it has no viable POTUS candidate for 2020 and needs to throw a "hail Mary."
But that's just my opinion...
Impeachment according to the Constitution is defined as "Treason, bribery or other high crimes and misdemeanors." The two articles of impeachment brought by the feckless Democrats do not seem to match that definition, I'd say. How about you?
And so, with 25 or 30 people listening in, President Trump decided to ask for a favor on behalf of us, the American people. Us. Not him, us. And that, according to Democrats, is impeachable.
Huh?
Stay tuned, America. The thought of Trump being frog-marched out of the White House is just too deliciously enticing to the Dems to pass up. They won the majority in the House with the 2016 election and they're not going to let this awesome power slip from their shaky grasp. They're going to use it to "correct" the 2016 vote, and either impeach Trump, or dirty him up so much they think he won't be able to win in 2020. Our young Country has never experienced anything like this before, and likely never will again. At least, I'm pretty sure we all hope it doesn't. I know I do...
Something tells me this will end quite a bit differently than the Democrats have envisioned...
"...I'd like you to do us a favor, though, as our country has been through a lot and Ukraine
knows a lot about it."
During July 25th Phone Call With
New Ukraine President Zelensky
And so, the impeachment follies begins...
These were the words of POTUS Trump that the Democrat majority in the House of Representatives plucked from a congratulatory phone call between Trump and Zelensky on July 25th.
These were the words that the Democrats have seized upon to ignite the impeachment bonfire. It's lit, and it's raging...
These were the words that the Democrats are convinced will make you, the American people, want to force the President from office. It certainly has them.
And these were the words that were listened to, on the phone, by at least 25 others, in real time, including representatives of the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the State Department, the Office of Management and Budget, and various and sundry other lawyers and bureaucrats and secretaries whose job it is to listen to calls like these every single day and on every single phone call in the White House to make sure everything is recorded and nothing is misunderstood.
How prophetic.
(BTW, I'm guessing that if I wanted to do something that might get me impeached, I probably wouldn't do it with 25 or 30 people listening!)
No matter, the Democrats have just released their "Articles of Impeachment," which is their "criminal" charges against POTUS Trump. They are: 1), Abuse of Power (he did something they didn't like!). And 2), Obstruction of Congress (he wouldn't do something they demanded of him!). Interesting.
You should know firstly that Article "1" is not a crime. It is a political opinion. And neither is "2," an internal, inter-agency disagreement between two separate but equal branches of Government, most normally resolved using the courts. Except, as in this case, when one of the Parties discovers it has no viable POTUS candidate for 2020 and needs to throw a "hail Mary."
But that's just my opinion...
Impeachment according to the Constitution is defined as "Treason, bribery or other high crimes and misdemeanors." The two articles of impeachment brought by the feckless Democrats do not seem to match that definition, I'd say. How about you?
And so, with 25 or 30 people listening in, President Trump decided to ask for a favor on behalf of us, the American people. Us. Not him, us. And that, according to Democrats, is impeachable.
Huh?
Stay tuned, America. The thought of Trump being frog-marched out of the White House is just too deliciously enticing to the Dems to pass up. They won the majority in the House with the 2016 election and they're not going to let this awesome power slip from their shaky grasp. They're going to use it to "correct" the 2016 vote, and either impeach Trump, or dirty him up so much they think he won't be able to win in 2020. Our young Country has never experienced anything like this before, and likely never will again. At least, I'm pretty sure we all hope it doesn't. I know I do...
Something tells me this will end quite a bit differently than the Democrats have envisioned...
Sunday, December 8, 2019
The Chuckmeister's Annual 2020 Predictions:
So, my friends, and you ARE my friends, it's that time again! Yep, at about this time every December I make it a point to predict what we Americans can expect to occur during the coming year. And I predict some really consequential things occurring during 2020. And you get to live through them!
As you know, I'm almost NEVER wrong, so pay attention, make notes, and be sure to tell all your BFFs what they should prepare for. So, grab a nice glass of single-malt Scotch, sit back, relax and enjoy The Chuckmeister's Annual Predictions:
- The House votes to impeach Trump. Even so, 9 Democrats bail on Pelosi and vote with Trump. But every single Republican votes against impeachment. Thus, this becomes the very first non-bipartisan impeachment in history.
As you know, I'm almost NEVER wrong, so pay attention, make notes, and be sure to tell all your BFFs what they should prepare for. So, grab a nice glass of single-malt Scotch, sit back, relax and enjoy The Chuckmeister's Annual Predictions:
December:
- The House votes to impeach Trump. Even so, 9 Democrats bail on Pelosi and vote with Trump. But every single Republican votes against impeachment. Thus, this becomes the very first non-bipartisan impeachment in history.
- LGBTQMXBZWCE folks declare war on Santa because he doesn't have any gay elves.
January:
January:
- The impeachment trial opens in the Senate. It's expected to take only a month or so, however the Republicans do their best to stretccccch it out until late February. It is a ratings bombshell, attracting record viewers.
- All six of the Dem senators who sit on the Senate Judiciary Committee, who are also running for POTUS, will be required to sit as jurors, quietly, and be forced not to comment about it during the entire proceedings. Even when on recess! On the campaign trail! They'll hate it. Their competitors will love it! Republicans will be orgasmic with glee!
February:
- Trump is exonerated by the Senate on a near Party line vote, as anyone with any sense would have predicted, indicating that the Democrats in charge have no sense. At all. And haven't since they decided to support the KKK and Jim Crow laws way back in the 1930's.
- Senator Adam Schiff, Chair of the House Intelligence Committee, the bozo that started all this grief, quits, joins a monastery and is never heard from again. All of D.C. rejoices!
- The stock market goes up 1,000 points.
- China capitulates and agrees to Trump's trade agreement.
- Hillary jumps into the race, telling the world that it really, REALLY needs her to be their POTUS. The world yawns.
- Justice Ginsburg croaks and a SCOTUS seat becomes open.
- Trump nominates a fully-qualified person to fill that post. And it's not Judge Napolitano. The Left goes ape sh*t!
- Senator Adam Schiff, Chair of the House Intelligence Committee, the bozo that started all this grief, quits, joins a monastery and is never heard from again. All of D.C. rejoices!
- The stock market goes up 1,000 points.
- China capitulates and agrees to Trump's trade agreement.
- Hillary jumps into the race, telling the world that it really, REALLY needs her to be their POTUS. The world yawns.
April:
- Justice Ginsburg croaks and a SCOTUS seat becomes open.
- Trump nominates a fully-qualified person to fill that post. And it's not Judge Napolitano. The Left goes ape sh*t!
- The Democrats accuse Trump's nominee for the Supreme Court of being a racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, liar, schemer, pickpocket, psoriasis sufferer, inveterate closet pedophile and a congenital traffic law-violater.
- 2,000 women in Pussy Hats self-immolate on the Supreme Court grounds. Their husbands rejoice...
- California decides to outlaw plastic, and airplanes, and hamburgers. Then it declares the remaining members of its rapidly-declining Middle Class terrorists, and demands that their wealth be forcibly seized by the State.
- San Francisco is declared a Hazardous Waste Zone, due to its piles and piles of human feces on the streets, and orders the residents to evacuate. Trump seizes San Fran Nan Pelosi's expansive, gated mansion from which to coordinate the cleanup effort...
- That Nigerian prince that keeps on emailing everybody is finally located and arrested.
- 2,000 women in Pussy Hats self-immolate on the Supreme Court grounds. Their husbands rejoice...
- California decides to outlaw plastic, and airplanes, and hamburgers. Then it declares the remaining members of its rapidly-declining Middle Class terrorists, and demands that their wealth be forcibly seized by the State.
- San Francisco is declared a Hazardous Waste Zone, due to its piles and piles of human feces on the streets, and orders the residents to evacuate. Trump seizes San Fran Nan Pelosi's expansive, gated mansion from which to coordinate the cleanup effort...
- That Nigerian prince that keeps on emailing everybody is finally located and arrested.
June:
- NoKo's Kim Jung the Un offers to meet Trump mano-a-mano for a fist fight. Trump agrees, and sets the date and place. Kim shows up. Trump smokes him with a drone. NoKo problem solved...
- Trump hosts a weenie roast on the Rose Garden Lawn. He invites only Democrats to attend, because they're all weenies...
July:
- Trump's nominee is confirmed by the SCOTUS and seated, giving the Right a 6 - 3 majority on the Court, insuring conservative decisions well into the next generation. Finally...
- Planned Parenthood, no longer receiving $500 Million annually from our tax money, declares bankruptcy.
- The stock market goes up 800 points in a single day.
August:
- Trump signs an Executive Order making bacon our National Protein. Everybody except those who live in CA and NY cheer! And oh yeah, Michigan, of course, where half the population is Muslim.
- Warren drops out of the race. She starts an Indian Casino in North Dakota, but keeps her once-a-week teaching job at Haaaavid for $400,000 a year.
- The Hallmark Channel purchases CNN, which has seen its viewership tank since it decided to become the Conspiracy Network. CNN's commentators all apply for jobs with Hallmark. None of them can pass the background check.
- Folks in the South start putting Confederate statues back up. Snowflakes self-flagellate in Vicksburg.
September:
- Virginia's new Democrat majority outlaws firearms and orders them seized. Virginia county sheriff's tell Gov. Northam to pound sand, as they will not comply. He weeps uncontrollably on TV. Again...
- Texas secedes from the Union. California, having already seceded from the Union by having declared itself a "sanctuary state," starts building a wall between itself and the rest of America. Trump offer to help. America rejoices...
- Little Mikey Bloomberg buys every TV network in America and runs his adds 24/7. Just like they do in Cuba and China and North Korea. People yawn...
November:
- Trump is reelected in an Electoral College landslide. The Left goes into shock. Putin laughs. Hillary cries, having thusly lost for the THIRD time. She STILL didn't campaign in Wisconsin.
- The stock market goes up 1,900 points in a single day.
- The "Bubble" folks in CA, WA, OR, NY, MD, CO and DC declare War on the "Rednecks."
- Since the Good Guy Rednecks have all the guns, a total shock to the limp-wristed Liberal weenies, apparently unaware of that fact or that War causes casualties and bleeding and bullet holes, wave the white flag on Day Two of the 2nd Civil War. They ask to know the location of all the Safe Spaces and Crying Rooms...
- Gen-u-wine space aliens, as in Extraterrrrestrials, from UFOs, as in outer space, doncha' know, land on the White House lawn, and line up to meet President Trump. He welcomes them to America from Star Cluster Sirius B. Trump offers to annex Sirius B as our newest State. They agree. No Democrats are invited to the press conference in the Rose Garden. Pelosi cries. Nadler's belt breaks and his pants fall down. Again. They are upset. They are ALWAYS upset.
- The stock market goes up 2,400 points. As expected. It turns out "the Grey's" had purchased short options and made out like bandits...
Well then, how's that for some juicy predictions? I'm thinking it'll be a busy year, full of all sorts of happenings, so prepare to meet it head on! On the way out the metaphorical door, however, I'd like to suggest that Netflix should sue Trump. Why? Because he's waaaaay more entertaining than it is and nobody will be seeking outside entertainment. As it turns out there will be quite enough entertainment to go around every day on cable TV. Every. Single. Day...
Thursday, December 5, 2019
"So Why Don't You Get a Cat?"
For those of you who don't know, your life changes quite a bit when a spouse passes on. And I hope you don't find that out anytime soon...
From a partner with whom you can talk and bank ideas off of and complain to and bitch at, you're left alone, with nobody, close, to talk to.
Oh, you can mumble to yourself, pretty much all the time, like I do. But that's not like having somebody to converse with. As my dearly departed Mom used to say, it's okay to talk to yourself so long as you don't answer. Well, mom, I've been answering. And one of my four smart, gorgeous, concerned daughters recognized that fact.
So she said to me one day, "Hey dad, why don't you get a dog?" I said, "Because I'm lame and couldn't take it for walks. And that would be unfair to the dog." I've had four back surgeries you see, and, without a my trusty cane, I'd be relegated to a wheelchair. BTW, have I introduced you to John, MyCane? No? How about Hermann? Heh, heh.
That's enough to make your cane Abel...
Anyway, my mobility is pretty much nonexistent, so running and jumping and taking dogs for walks is pretty much in the rear view mirror.
So, although I love dogs, and most all animals, for that matter (they taste so good!), I nixed the idea. "Then, why don't you get a cat," she then said?" I thought about it for a minute, and said, "Maybe."
"Maybe" is my way of saying, "Are you shi*ting me?"
A couple of weeks passed. And then one Monday afternoon my sweet daughter, Tiana, called and said, "Hey dad, I'm at the animal shelter. Do you still want that cat?" I stuttered and stammered a bit, before I said, "Sure." Just goes to show you that you can get old, but that doesn't mean you have to get smart...
So here comes the cat. Tiana arrives at my humble abode with my brand-new(ish), nine-month old grey and white little boy kitten, cute as all get out. And my life has never been the same since...
So, although it's only been a couple of months or so, I've learned enough about cat ownership by now to fill you in. Prepare yourself; it's not a pretty picture...
1. My cat's training is almost complete. There's still a couple of things I have yet to learn, and I'm learning as fast as I can, but my cat's training is almost complete.
2. Did you know that cats can fly? Yes, yes they can. They can fly from one piece of furniture to another in one glorious bound. And then on to the next. All day. Like a flash of grey/white, screaming by in front of my face, usually when I least expect it. Which, I might add, can scare the pee right out of you!
(Just wondering, if I feed this little predator less, will he stop flying so much?)
I still recall that moment when my TV went blank for a split-second as the cat performed a full eclipse of the Samsung, fully laid-out, screaming by, afterburners fully lit, doing his best Top Gun impression. Yes, my friends, cats can fly. Not well, but often...
3. Did you know that cats are always hungry? They are. And I don't care HOW much you feed them! They will still pester the crap out of you to give them more; and then more again. I guess that's how some of them wind up looking like Garfield.
Did you know that anything remotely resembling food, of any type, however it looks or smells, or used to look or smell, may not be left out, anywhere, at anytime, at all, if you have a cat? You didn't know that? Well, my friends, I didn't either, but any food item at all, no matter how it looks or smells, is fair game. And if it's wrapped in plastic, boy, look out! It won't be for long! So you'll learn pdq (pretty damn quick) to put away anything you'd prefer not to sweep up. And in my case that included a full, previously unopened box of strawberry Pop-Tarts, which wound up torn to shreds, little pink bits all over a hundred square feet of floor, completely destroyed, while I had the temerity to actually try and get some sleep. What COULD I have been thinking?
4. Did you know that cats are dumber than a bag of rocks? Or, perhaps they're smarter than any other creature? I can't figure out which, because my cat just looks quizzically at me when I give it orders, totally unmoved by the urgency in my voice. Maybe that means it's just pretending not to understand, hoping I'll just give up and go away. Or, given its cold, steely gaze, perhaps it's just waiting for the day it can grow just a bit larger so it can kill me and drag me off to its lair somewhere to be slowly eaten.
5. Getting a cat is better than going to the gym. Yep, since I've acquired Critter (its name!), I've done more lifting, and mopping, and cleaning, and sweeping, and stooping, and dusting, and wiping, and, and, and... You can straighten up the house and, within minutes, Hiroshima! Yes, my friends, a cat will give you plenty of exercise. And you'll hate every single minute of it...
And so, my friends, you've now been updated on the early consequences of my momentary mental lapse. As I've only been owned by the cat for some weeks now, my experience is justly limited. No doubt as time passes I'll learn even more. But as for now, I'd say this little predator is watching me just like it would watch an extremely large mouse. Just waiting. Staring at me. Waiting until it grows enough to attack! My advice? If a daughter calls and asks you anything, be sure to think it through before you answer. You might find yourself dodging a flying cat...
From a partner with whom you can talk and bank ideas off of and complain to and bitch at, you're left alone, with nobody, close, to talk to.
Oh, you can mumble to yourself, pretty much all the time, like I do. But that's not like having somebody to converse with. As my dearly departed Mom used to say, it's okay to talk to yourself so long as you don't answer. Well, mom, I've been answering. And one of my four smart, gorgeous, concerned daughters recognized that fact.
So she said to me one day, "Hey dad, why don't you get a dog?" I said, "Because I'm lame and couldn't take it for walks. And that would be unfair to the dog." I've had four back surgeries you see, and, without a my trusty cane, I'd be relegated to a wheelchair. BTW, have I introduced you to John, MyCane? No? How about Hermann? Heh, heh.
That's enough to make your cane Abel...
Anyway, my mobility is pretty much nonexistent, so running and jumping and taking dogs for walks is pretty much in the rear view mirror.
So, although I love dogs, and most all animals, for that matter (they taste so good!), I nixed the idea. "Then, why don't you get a cat," she then said?" I thought about it for a minute, and said, "Maybe."
"Maybe" is my way of saying, "Are you shi*ting me?"
A couple of weeks passed. And then one Monday afternoon my sweet daughter, Tiana, called and said, "Hey dad, I'm at the animal shelter. Do you still want that cat?" I stuttered and stammered a bit, before I said, "Sure." Just goes to show you that you can get old, but that doesn't mean you have to get smart...
So here comes the cat. Tiana arrives at my humble abode with my brand-new(ish), nine-month old grey and white little boy kitten, cute as all get out. And my life has never been the same since...
So, although it's only been a couple of months or so, I've learned enough about cat ownership by now to fill you in. Prepare yourself; it's not a pretty picture...
1. My cat's training is almost complete. There's still a couple of things I have yet to learn, and I'm learning as fast as I can, but my cat's training is almost complete.
2. Did you know that cats can fly? Yes, yes they can. They can fly from one piece of furniture to another in one glorious bound. And then on to the next. All day. Like a flash of grey/white, screaming by in front of my face, usually when I least expect it. Which, I might add, can scare the pee right out of you!
(Just wondering, if I feed this little predator less, will he stop flying so much?)
I still recall that moment when my TV went blank for a split-second as the cat performed a full eclipse of the Samsung, fully laid-out, screaming by, afterburners fully lit, doing his best Top Gun impression. Yes, my friends, cats can fly. Not well, but often...
3. Did you know that cats are always hungry? They are. And I don't care HOW much you feed them! They will still pester the crap out of you to give them more; and then more again. I guess that's how some of them wind up looking like Garfield.
Did you know that anything remotely resembling food, of any type, however it looks or smells, or used to look or smell, may not be left out, anywhere, at anytime, at all, if you have a cat? You didn't know that? Well, my friends, I didn't either, but any food item at all, no matter how it looks or smells, is fair game. And if it's wrapped in plastic, boy, look out! It won't be for long! So you'll learn pdq (pretty damn quick) to put away anything you'd prefer not to sweep up. And in my case that included a full, previously unopened box of strawberry Pop-Tarts, which wound up torn to shreds, little pink bits all over a hundred square feet of floor, completely destroyed, while I had the temerity to actually try and get some sleep. What COULD I have been thinking?
4. Did you know that cats are dumber than a bag of rocks? Or, perhaps they're smarter than any other creature? I can't figure out which, because my cat just looks quizzically at me when I give it orders, totally unmoved by the urgency in my voice. Maybe that means it's just pretending not to understand, hoping I'll just give up and go away. Or, given its cold, steely gaze, perhaps it's just waiting for the day it can grow just a bit larger so it can kill me and drag me off to its lair somewhere to be slowly eaten.
5. Getting a cat is better than going to the gym. Yep, since I've acquired Critter (its name!), I've done more lifting, and mopping, and cleaning, and sweeping, and stooping, and dusting, and wiping, and, and, and... You can straighten up the house and, within minutes, Hiroshima! Yes, my friends, a cat will give you plenty of exercise. And you'll hate every single minute of it...
And so, my friends, you've now been updated on the early consequences of my momentary mental lapse. As I've only been owned by the cat for some weeks now, my experience is justly limited. No doubt as time passes I'll learn even more. But as for now, I'd say this little predator is watching me just like it would watch an extremely large mouse. Just waiting. Staring at me. Waiting until it grows enough to attack! My advice? If a daughter calls and asks you anything, be sure to think it through before you answer. You might find yourself dodging a flying cat...
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
The War Between the States...
Have you heard about the War Between the States?
No, not that one. That's the last one. I'm talking about the Next One...
As memory serves, the last War Between the States was fought because some of our states didn't like or agree with some of the stuff that the other states were doing.
So they declared war on them. And the bullets flew. And the cannons boomed. And brother killed brother. And blood flowed like a river. And nearly a million poor guys met their maker as a result.
That little conflagration was called the (Un)Civil War.
But that War took place during a time when there was no Internet. No phones, or cars, or TV, or machine guns or fighter planes. Or nuclear weapons. And our country sported less than 10% of its current population.
Flash forward from 1865 to 2019. Some of the states don't like or agree with some of the stuff that the other states are doing, once again. How about that! The decisions are being made in highly concentrated geographic areas of our country, i.e. little "bubbles," like New York City and Washington, D.C., far removed from where most of our citizens live, by politically well connected and wealthy elites, who do not reflect the beliefs or desires or mores or folkways of those they endeavor to rule, once again. And the news of all that activity is being piped out to us, the distant residents, the proletariat, the peons, the "rednecks," the Great Unwashed, by the so-called Mainstream Media - who carry their water.
And those distant residents are pissed! They've been pissed for a long time, and they're still pissed now. Maybe now more than ever. They're pissed because they've been ignored, smeared, insulted, maligned, laughed at, disregarded, abused and condescended to by far too many and for far too long. And, as I said, boy, are they ever pissed!
After years of suffering through Liberal leadership, America votes for an outsider they believe would finally return some small measure of power and control to "The People." And the elites and the MSMedia immediately plot a coup to take down that President, and return power back to the elites. To the "Swamp." And those who voted for him have to sit back and watch as the corrupt politicians and MSMedia work overtime, hand-in-hand, to impeach him. Impeach him and run him from office. Impeach him a year before the next General Election. Why? Because they don't believe they can beat him in 2020, in my opinion, and so they have to destroy him now. And with him, us.
And boy, as I said, are they ever pissed!
Democrats might have difficulty believing it, but those who live between the Sierra Nevada on the left and the Hudson River on the right don't think it's a good idea for boys to shower in girls' restrooms. And they don't think our history should be rewritten and our statues of past military leaders torn down. And they don't think that "Global Warming" will put Miami under water in 12 years. Or 100 years. And they don't believe that boys should be permitted to compete against girls in sporting events. And they don't believe that abortions should be available "on demand" for everybody everywhere at anytime, even after birth. And they don't think people should be able to legally crap on our sidewalks. And they don't believe that cities or counties or states should be able to "opt out" from Federal laws we all must obey by declaring themselves "sanctuaries." And they don't believe that success should be punished via onerous taxation so that others can sit on their asses and bitch. And they don't believe the so-called "MSMedia" tells the whole, unvarnished, unbiased truth...because it doesn't. But they have no power to change any of this; they are the proletariat. The peons. The other-than-important. The "Deplorables," as Hillary once warned. That one comment, btw, likely lost her the Election...
And as I said, boy, are they ever pissed!
As I'm heading out the door on this little screed, my point having been made...in spades...(can I still stay that?), did you hear about the Democrats "hate" affair with firearms? Considering that every single Dem 2020 POTUS candidate has stated they'd like to confiscate some of our citizens' legally-acquired weapons, and that one of these days the Dems will be back in power, it's likely also that one of these days those on the Left may also choose to actually undertake a weapons confiscation effort. That would mean Federal officers, with guns, going out to peoples' houses to collect guns, from people who own guns. Hmmmmm. How do you think THAT might work out?
My advice to them? Don't do it. Because if they do, they'll surely unleash the next "War Between the States."
No, not that one. That's the last one. I'm talking about the Next One...
As memory serves, the last War Between the States was fought because some of our states didn't like or agree with some of the stuff that the other states were doing.
So they declared war on them. And the bullets flew. And the cannons boomed. And brother killed brother. And blood flowed like a river. And nearly a million poor guys met their maker as a result.
That little conflagration was called the (Un)Civil War.
But that War took place during a time when there was no Internet. No phones, or cars, or TV, or machine guns or fighter planes. Or nuclear weapons. And our country sported less than 10% of its current population.
Flash forward from 1865 to 2019. Some of the states don't like or agree with some of the stuff that the other states are doing, once again. How about that! The decisions are being made in highly concentrated geographic areas of our country, i.e. little "bubbles," like New York City and Washington, D.C., far removed from where most of our citizens live, by politically well connected and wealthy elites, who do not reflect the beliefs or desires or mores or folkways of those they endeavor to rule, once again. And the news of all that activity is being piped out to us, the distant residents, the proletariat, the peons, the "rednecks," the Great Unwashed, by the so-called Mainstream Media - who carry their water.
And those distant residents are pissed! They've been pissed for a long time, and they're still pissed now. Maybe now more than ever. They're pissed because they've been ignored, smeared, insulted, maligned, laughed at, disregarded, abused and condescended to by far too many and for far too long. And, as I said, boy, are they ever pissed!
After years of suffering through Liberal leadership, America votes for an outsider they believe would finally return some small measure of power and control to "The People." And the elites and the MSMedia immediately plot a coup to take down that President, and return power back to the elites. To the "Swamp." And those who voted for him have to sit back and watch as the corrupt politicians and MSMedia work overtime, hand-in-hand, to impeach him. Impeach him and run him from office. Impeach him a year before the next General Election. Why? Because they don't believe they can beat him in 2020, in my opinion, and so they have to destroy him now. And with him, us.
And boy, as I said, are they ever pissed!
Democrats might have difficulty believing it, but those who live between the Sierra Nevada on the left and the Hudson River on the right don't think it's a good idea for boys to shower in girls' restrooms. And they don't think our history should be rewritten and our statues of past military leaders torn down. And they don't think that "Global Warming" will put Miami under water in 12 years. Or 100 years. And they don't believe that boys should be permitted to compete against girls in sporting events. And they don't believe that abortions should be available "on demand" for everybody everywhere at anytime, even after birth. And they don't think people should be able to legally crap on our sidewalks. And they don't believe that cities or counties or states should be able to "opt out" from Federal laws we all must obey by declaring themselves "sanctuaries." And they don't believe that success should be punished via onerous taxation so that others can sit on their asses and bitch. And they don't believe the so-called "MSMedia" tells the whole, unvarnished, unbiased truth...because it doesn't. But they have no power to change any of this; they are the proletariat. The peons. The other-than-important. The "Deplorables," as Hillary once warned. That one comment, btw, likely lost her the Election...
And as I said, boy, are they ever pissed!
As I'm heading out the door on this little screed, my point having been made...in spades...(can I still stay that?), did you hear about the Democrats "hate" affair with firearms? Considering that every single Dem 2020 POTUS candidate has stated they'd like to confiscate some of our citizens' legally-acquired weapons, and that one of these days the Dems will be back in power, it's likely also that one of these days those on the Left may also choose to actually undertake a weapons confiscation effort. That would mean Federal officers, with guns, going out to peoples' houses to collect guns, from people who own guns. Hmmmmm. How do you think THAT might work out?
My advice to them? Don't do it. Because if they do, they'll surely unleash the next "War Between the States."
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