Good News, O'Biden Voters!

I come to you with good news today, O'Biden voters!

(Proving that I, The Chuckmeister, am able to "reach across the aisle," so to speak, and help out our our less fortunate "Progressive" friends.)

Yes, O'Biden voters and only O'Biden voters, I knew that you'd be worried about the passage of HR-1, the new Congressional legislation sponsored by House Speaker Nancy "San Fran Nan" Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Charles "Chuckie" Schumer.  Not to mention rammed into effect by the Democrat Party utilizing "reconciliation," a piece of parliamentary legerdemain seldom if ever used to pass laws without a single vote of the opposing Party.  Why?  Because they can.

Let me restate that: the Democrats just passed a new $1.9 Trillion Dollar spending frenzy without a single Republican vote.  And 91% of the new money, every single dollar of it borrowed from China, will not be spent until 2023 through 2028.  And in case your eyes have gone out of focus over these yuuuge numbers, that's One Thousand Nine Hundred Million Million Dollars.  Or, roughly 10% of our entire economy!  Which brings our spending over the past year to just about $6 Trillion Dollars!  NOTE:  Every single dollar of HR-1 will be paid back by your kids, and their kids, and their kids' kids, most likely forever.

There.  Did that help?  Good.  Now back to our celebration.

I knew that some of you, the ones who voted for Joe O'Biden, might be worried that incarcerated felons would not be sharing in the largesse just heaped upon the American people by the Democrats.  No, you might be worried that felons like Dylann Roof, murderer of 9, currently on death row, might not be getting his $1,400.  And Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the Boston Marathon Bomber, murderer of 3 and maimer of dozens, currently on death row, might not be getting his $1,400.  Fear not!  He will too!  And so will every other incarcerated murderer in America.  Every one of the 2,721 convicted murderers on death row will be getting their $1,400.  Of course, they won't be able to go to the canteen and shop around, given that they're all in solitary confinement, but maybe good ol' Joe can fix that with an Executive Order or two.  

However, the Good News is that all the other 2.1 million imprisoned felons in the United States will be getting their very own $1,400.  Every.  Single.  One.  I know how happy that will make you.

But it gets even better, O'Biden voters, all 6.1 Million felons in America will also be sharing in that same pot of borrowed money, with each getting their very own $1,400!  Did you know America had so much money to spread around, fellow Patriots?  Neither did I...    

Oh wait.  I almost forgot.  I almost forgot to mention that every single illegal alien in America will also get their own $1,400!  All 11 or 20 or 50 million of them!  Now, I don't know how we're going to figure out how to get the money out to them, unless they've all registered their names and addresses with the Treasury Department like us taxpayers, but I'm guessing good ol' Joe and his sycophants will somehow find a way.

But in addition to having the very same amount of money to spend at the canteen as you do at the local Albertson's, fellow O'Biden voter, you might have also worried that jailed illegal aliens might not be able to vote in the next election.  Fear not, again!  They will!  Yes, O'Biden voters, Mr. O'Biden wants you to know that every single imprisoned felon in America will be able to vote in the next election.  And the one after that.  He says you have a say in the future of America, even though you did you very best to destroy it.  

Do you feel better now, friends and neighbors?  Do you feel better knowing that murderers and rapists will be treated exactly like you?  With money to spend borrowed from our biggest enemy, China?  And the right to vote just like every other non-law-abiding American, just like you?  And that all our illegal aliens will be getting a giant pot of free money, courtesy of you, the Taxpayer?  And that the franchise you thought you held as a citizen of the United States has now been diminished...sullied...by these actions beyond all recognition?  Well, you should.  You voted for this.  

Enjoy it while it lasts...