Escalade!

While you and I weren't watching, Cadillac started putting eeeenormous prices on their Escalade window stickers.  And their dealers started selling them like crack.

As in, $91,439 for the base, unloaded, no luxury model, to $93,332 for the base with the luxury package.  Up 30% in just the past 5 years.    

I didn't stutter.  For what is today's station wagon, Cadillac thinks it's a good idea to sell Escalade's for near $100,000.  Except they do.  Next step up is the Escalade with the high-zoot luxury package at $120,455.  And if you want the super desirable "V" model, with the 620 horsepower Corvette motor, the window is...ready for it?...$172,223.  That's the price of a house in Salina, Kansas.  Where I used to live.  Or in 40 of the other 50 states.  

Oh but wait!  Since there's "only" 556 of those "V's" nationwide, the Cadillac dealers are routinely putting a "market adjustment" on top of the Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Pricing," or MSRP.  And the average of all "market adjustments" nationwide is now $25,000!  It goes from a paltry $10,000 for the lesser models, to upwards of $50,000 for the "V" model.  So, for a "V," with the average $4,000 of dealer add-ons, for window tint, interior treatment, paint protection, door edge guards and nitrogen in the tires, et-friggin'-cetra, we're talking $200,000 for an SUV.  That immediately loses an average of $50,000 in depreciation the very instant you drive it off the dealers lot.

(Note:  The average price of a 5-year old Escalade nationwide is $25,000.  Much less if its a "miley."  As in, more than say 50,000 miles.  And as little as $15,000 if its a bit rough.

And oh by the way, the dealers will tell you that since these add-on items like window tint and alarm and door edge guards are already installed in every car they have, they say, they cannot be removed (!).  So you have to buy them.  Too bad, so sad.  Of course, you can negotiate them out of those items, but you have to work at it.  And it's painful to do so.  That's why people hate dealers so very much.

(Note:  There's a company called "Deliverd" that will negotiate a deal for you for an all-inclusive price of $1,000.  They'll find the car, get the best price, arrange the trade-in and handle the documents and shipping, if necessary, at no extra price.  Flat fee.  That's all they do.  Keeping you from having to do business with these miserable slimy deaers.  Sounds like a deal to me!)

Sometimes car manufacturer's will make and sell cars that are instant collector's items.  Cars that hold their value, or even increase over time.  Cars like the original 1960's Ford Mustang or the newer "Dark Horse."  Or the Corvette "ZR-1."  Or the Toyota 1990's Supra.  Or the Ford Bronco.  Or the Toyota Land Cruiser.  But you almost never know which new car will attain that status until time passes.  

For those that don't know, an "SUV" is nothing but a pickup truck with a Givenchy suit of clothes.  A station wagon body on the back of a pickup truck.  Folks like me who've been around for awhile know that pickup trucks used to sell for $20,00 or so.  And then somebody in their marketing department said, "You know what, if we put a high-zoot interior in them, and a special sound system, and a big-ass motor, we might be able to get another $20,000 on top of the usual price."  And so it began.  From $20,000 to $200,000 in a very short time.  

That's why I spent my career in marketing.  Where the rubber meets the road.

So I'd suggest if you really, REALLY want an Escalade, for whatever reason, buy or lease one used.  The depreciation will have already done its dirty deed, the "dealer add-ons" and "dealer market adjustments" will have been lost in the wash, and the usual updates and new car whoopsies will have been handled.  And you can then buy one with a few thousand miles for $50,000 or $60,000 or $70,000 off MSRP.  

And again, much more off if you don't have to pay the "market adjustment."  

Excuse me, my fingers wouldn't type those numbers without a lot of work.  I had to try several times in order to get them down on paper without throwing up.  But I did.  Don't thank me.  That's why God put me here.

It never ceases to amaze me that folks will buy the second most expensive item in their lives like they'd buy a cup of ice cream at Baskin-Robbins.  They drive into the dealer with a smile on their faces and a fat wallet, not knowing they're going to get taken for an expensive ride.  The dealer knows every trick in the book to remove the maximum amount of bucks from their wallets, yet they still buy.  So they can turn heads as they drive home.  So they can look over their shoulders at their shiny new trophy as they walk into their homes.  Without knowing they've been screwed to the wall by the professionals whose job it is to do that.  And it's all legal.  Legal theft.  What I would call a scam, but that's just me.

You're an idiot if you go for this.  If you buy one of these expensive toys when a Chevy Tahoe, or a GMC would do just as well, as they're on the same truck platform, you're the guy the car salesmen are trained to skin like a beaver.

And they do it.  Every. Single. Day.