Poor Puree.

There's a few things in this life that really piss me off.

Maybe you have a few as well.

I thought to myself, self!  Why not share those things with my Fellow Patriots, a few at a time, over the coming 15 years.  Or sooner should God choose to take me sooner.  So I hereby vent my enormous spleen and share a few of mine, today, right here in River City.

1.  Undertrained Police Officers.

     It started, I think, back in 2020 - 21.  Back when the nervous lily-livered snowflake Progressives decided to "Defund the Police."  You remember that, right?  Almost immediately the good cops, those who weren't near retirement and those who were early in their careers, bolted for towns that weren't into defunding them.  Leaving behind only those steeped in their own anger.  Mad as Hell they had to work for people that hated them.  So they stuck around to continue predating the poor, unsuspecting public.  Like lions on the Serengheti, swooping down on the poor motorists, blue lights ablazing.

That led to a severe shortage of cops, particularly in the Big Blue Cities.  Leaving cities 25% or more understaffed.  So they started hiring anyone who could fog a mirror, and rushed them through training to get them on the streets.  The streets where you and I were traveling.  

Did you know it takes a beautician two full years of both classroom and on-site training to become licensed?

Did you know it takes a German cop 2 full years of training before they're released on the autobahns?

And did you know it takes as little as 22 weeks for a policeman/woman/other (California, doncha' know) to get his/her/its badge?  And gun, and taser, and baton, and mace, and handcuffs?  So he/she/it can presume to make sure we obey the 366,345 laws we poor Taxifornians have on our books?  66,000 more than the Federal Government and almost twice the number #2 New York has on its books?

I know from my psychology training that fully 3% of everybody out there is either a sociopath, a psychopath, a drunk, a drug addict, a felon, or those suffering from any of a few dozen disorders.  These are the folks you meet driving toward you on the Streets of America.  The ones sitting beside you on the next flight you take.  The ones behind you in line at Starbucks.  

And that goes for cops, too.  Maybe more than 3% of cops are mentally challenged.  Maybe the ones who couldn't get the job of their choice and are taking cop-hood as a second or third option and are angry every day.  Or those who were bullied on the playground as a kid and now want to get even by bullying us?  

All I know is we taxpayers have hired 880,000 policemen, sheriffs' deputies and constables in America, and paid them damn well, to extract from us as much money as possible on the thinnest of reasons.  Presumably those they report to feel we just don't pay enough taxes.  And they want more.

The average ticket price in Taxifornia is $790.00.  That's a week's pay for going 10 over the speed limit, or making an illegal turn, or rolling through a stop sign.  Seems to me there ought to be a lot more of that protecting and serving, and a lot less of that charging and collecting...

Perhaps the only way to avoid these road pirates is to avoid the Big Blue Cities.  I know I do...

2.  Parking:

America's a big place.  We need cars to take us from where we are to where we want to go.  And when we get there we have to find a place to park our steeds.  And therein, as Shakespeare once said, lay the rub.

If it's a town we're going to there's meter maid waiting around the corner to write us a parking ticket just as soon as that little red flag pops up.  And a tow company to drag our cars off to the impound lot.  

And if it's a stadium, where we have to pay at least a leg for a ticket to the Big Game, someone picks our pocket for $50.00 more to park our cars.  Can't they just charge more for the ticket and let us park our cars for free?  Or make it $20.00 for the beer instead of $14.00?  It seems there's always somebody trying to figure out how to get into our jeans for another $Dollar.  And I for one don't appreciate it.

3.  The Tipping Culture:

The concept of tipping your waiter or waitress started in 1780's Jolly Olde England.  The diner would toss a tuppence to his serving wench "To Insure Promptess."  

Flash Forward to Present Day.  Making ends meet in a restaurant has always been a fraught situation.  It used to be that the old "30-30-30" proposition held sway.  Thirty percent for rent and insurance and such.  Thirty percent for labor.  And thirty percent for food and related costs.  Leaving 10% for profit.  A fair return.

Now?   A recent Harvard Business Review article shows that more than half of new restaurants go tits up in the first year.  4 out of 5 go down by the fifth year.  And 19 out of 20 by Year Ten.  Why would anyone go into a business with almost guaranteed failure?   A chef who always wanted his own restaurant.  A manager who always wanted his own restaurant.  And a hedge fund star who always wanted his own restaurant.  That's who.  

And they all soon learn that earning even 1% or 2% of sales is tough as an old boot.  So, even though they hire, train and manage their wait staff, when they can't pay their bills they start looking for ways to cut costs.  And cutting their wait staff pay is among their first  options.

It's a Faustian bargain.

We have always been okay with paying the wait staff 10% to 15% for good service.  Or even 20% if we're feeling flush and they performed really well.  But now the restaurant owner has begun brainwashing his staff into believing that the diner should cover their rent and child care.  They've now started posting that a 25% tip, or even 30% or 40%, is expected.  And the waitress is the one who's expecting it.   Leaving us, the diners, to face down an angry waiter/tress if we don't feel like paying for the restaurant's employees.  Leading to arguments at tableside.  Or even worse.  Many of us have just stopped dining out.  And I don't blame them.  I have.  If we're expected to pay their employees, how about we bring our own waiter to the restaurant?  Or even wait our own tables and save the tip?

This is a serious problem that does nothing more than kick the restaurant's bankruptcy filing a few weeks or months down the road.  A sad state of affairs for what is an old and potentially lucrative career if the waiter is good.  If this continues unabated they just might wind up with nowhere to work...

4.  The Name Mohammed:

Did you know that the name "Mohammed," or its multiple spelling varients, is the most popular mens' name in the world?  Upwards of 150,000,000 people are named Mohammed.  In the Middle East, Northern Africa and Pakistan, up to 90% of men are named Mohammed.  

Can you imagine if a cop bursts through the door of a Lebanese hookah bar and yells, "On your feet, Mohammed, you're under arrest!"  Everybody in the place stands up and reaches for the sky.

Every Muslim has three names.  Mohammed is the given name, their middle name is optional, and the family named is Number Three.  We're told they call each other by their middle names.  So why Mohammed as Number One?  I'ts obvious an honorific.  But those who quit breathing for a few minutes and then come back to life, often report they met and talked with Jesus.  Has anyone ever come back to life and said they talked with Mohammed?  I think not!

I'm proposing we should pass a law here in 'Murica that no one can be called Mohammed anymore.  I'm suggesting we replace Mohammed with "Barry."  Or "Frank."  Or perhaps "Kevin."  Sounds better and they might even like it.  

That's quite enough spleen venting for one day.  I'll post a few more in the coming days and weeks.  I'm sure you cannot wait...