More Guns, More (or Less) Crime?

So, it appears far too many Liberals believe that the primary source of "gun violence" in America is the fact that we have too many guns.

That group would include our present POTUS (Obama is on video (check YouTube) proclaiming that he doesn't believe that we Americans should have the right to own firearms!), our V.P. ("Sheriff" Joe has opined that the way to chase off home invaders is to go to the nearest window and shoot off a shotgun into the air...illegal in most states of course, and dangerous!), the crusty old female presumptive Democrat candidate for POTUS (as of the day this is written she is in Conneccctticutttt conducting a seminar on how to reduce "gun violence" by reducing the number of our guns!), and a whole bunch of dumbass weenies who wouldn't know how to load a gun, much less use it. Long sentence I know, but hey, it's my blog.  

Apparently they are not aware that the Bill of Rights comes as a Boxed-Set of Ten, not of nine or six or some fewer number in need of immediate revision.

And "gun violence" is their catch-all phrase for any accident or injury or hangnail or death resulting from a firearm, no matter what the cause.

So they believe that we could reduce "gun violence" by simply reducing the number of guns.  And they offer up other countries' experiences as proof-positive that their solution has merit.  Those countries would include England and Australia, both of which have outlawed and forcibly confiscated their citizens' weapons.  (However, both have experienced a rapid uptick in serious crime since doing so...they conveniently forget to mention that). So when they suggest we adopt those countries' solutions to this "epidemic," that's what they're suggesting.  Nice.

But these gun-grabbers are kind of loose with the statistics they offer to prop up their proposal.  They state that our homicides per 100,000 of population are the very highest in the world, and that's what leads us to our sick, twisted, maniacal, fanatical Wild West obsession with guns.  That would be a scary statistic, if it were true.  It isn't.  They include all deaths from guns, regardless of the cause. Suicides, accidents, terrorism, homicides, gang warfare, no matter.  All are included.  Yes, we have the very most guns per our population in the entire world.  And I'm about to prove to you that this is why we became free more than two centuries ago, and why we shall always remain free!

Americans own, proudly I might add, 90 guns per 100 people at present.  That's the very largest percentage in the entire world. And that number has increased by no less than 100,000,000 (that's One Hundred Million!) during the tenure of one B. Hussein Obama, the absolute Best Gun Salesman Of All Time.  

Let me state that again.  America's guns have increased in number by more than one-third since Obama assumed the Presidency!  

He spews something about guns being so awfully bad, and people flock to their nearest gun store. They fear that he will try and grab our guns, a reasonable fear, I might add, so they buy them by the millions to beat the legislation. More than 20 Million background checks were performed just last year, an all-time record. And stats indicate that gun sales will likely beat that record in 2016.  So that 90 guns per 100 people is sure to quickly become 100 per 100.

Next country in terms of gun ownership is waaaay down there at 58.2 to 100 in Serbia. And then 54.8 in Yemen.  And 45.7 in Switzerland.  And 36.1 in Cyprus. And 35.0 in Sweden.  And 34.2 in Iraq.  And so on, and so on. 

Only 34 guns per 100 population in Iraq?  Saddam Hussein made sure of that!

Yes, we own the most.  And thank God for that!

Does that automatically translate to the world's highest murder rate? Nooooooooooooo!  Are we second?  No! Fifth? No, again!  Twentieth?  Fiftieth?  One hundredth?  No, no, and no!  We come in at 111th!  

Surprised?  You should be.  Amazed that your elected leaders have been blowing smoke up your collective ass? You shouldn't be.  They do it alllllllllllll the time!

So, my friends, and you are my friends, The Chuckmeister will now pass along to you some truth for a change.  Some truth that you can take to the bank in addition to that pretty shocking number up above.  Some truth that you can use to counteract all that crap that's shoveled your way at the dinner table when crazy Aunt Doris, the commie pinko weenie gun-hating Liberal, when she decides to stop by and ruin your appetite.  

So we have three times the number of guns than the Iraqis do, and our Liberal weenies want us to believe we're more dangerous than downtown Baghdad? Pullleeeezzz!

Would you like to know how we'd rank internationally if we didn't have to include the death rates from gunfire in all the towns owned and operated for decades by those same loony Liberals who are so quick to blame us, 'Murica's honest, red-blooded, flag-waving, God-fearing gun-owners for all that "gun violence?"  Read on.

There are a whole bunch of American towns that have chosen to elect Liberal Democrats for generations.  And not surprisingly, most are all-out shooting galleries. Here's a list, along with their most recent murder rates per 100,000 of population:

     -  Detroit:  54.6
     -  New Orleans:  53.2
     -  St. Louis:  35.5
     -  Baltimore:  34.9
     -  Newark:  34.4
     -  Oakland:  31.8
     -  Stockton:  23.7
     -  Kansas City:  22.6
     -  Philadelphia:  21.5
     -  Cleveland:  21.3
     -  Memphis:  20.2
     -  Atlanta:  19.0
     -  Chicago:  18.5

Note that Chicago hasn't had a City-wide elected Republican since Dwight Eisenhower was in the White House.  Hmmmm. And Chicago's gun-control laws are soooo stringent that buying and owning a gun there is virtually impossible.  Yet, they average, average, more than fifty shootings per weekend!

Want to know which is America's safest big city?  Ready? Here it is:  Plano, Texas: Murder rate per 100,000 of population:  0.4!  

Why?  Because virtually everybody in Plano, Texas is armed and considered dangerous.  And nobody who wants to walk away after an armed confrontation, be they bank robber, thug, home invader, gangster, burglar or Islamic jihadist murdering terrorist, would pick Plano, Texas to ply their nefarious trade.  

Remember the would-be mass jihadist shooting outside a draw-the-Muhammed contest in Garland, Texas last year? Yeah, it ended with the Bad Guys being shot dead by a security guard before they could pull the trigger a single time.  There's an example of some of that Wild West justice for you!  

Ready for another statistic you can use to figuratively slap Aunt Doris across the face when she starts to spew her anti-gun bile?  Were we to somehow just erase all of the above Democrat-(mis)managed cities from the American map, America's death rate from "gun violence" per 100,000 of population would magically drop from 111th on the list of nations to...ready for it?...211th!  Maybe Vatican City would be a bit safer than America were that the case, but only just barely.

So, in closing, let me throw in this little palate cleanser.  Ms. Hil(liar)y will make eliminating "gun violence" a centerpiece of her upcoming campaign for President of the United States. That's assuming she isn't trying to run America from behind those cold stone walls of Leavenworth Federal Prison.  And she will advocate harsh new gun control measures that will center upon duplicating Australia's confiscation measures. What I don't think she realizes, and please don't tell her, is that more than 5,000,000 ordinary average $40-per-year dues-paying Americans are members of the National Rifle Association. And they have fathers, mothers, wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, co-workers, bowling team members and buddies who will be influenced by them, as well as the millions who are simpatico with the NRA and its goals and objectives who aren't yet members.  And there are tens of millions of other gun owners and shooters and those who count on their firearms for safety and self-defense.  

And they vote!

Put another way, the Democrats won the Presidency in 2012 with a total of 65,915,796 votes, including all those who voted three or four times (remember the inner-city woman in Philly who proudly proclaimed she'd voted seven times?). Republicans garnered only 60,993,501 votes.  That's a winning percentage of 51.1% to 47.2%  Now just imagine that "gun control" was elevated to a top-tier issue in the upcoming 2016 Presidential election.  Then add in the 5 Million NRA members and the millions more they will most assuredly influence.  Get it?

Once again, please don't tell Hil(liar)y.  

So, do more gun equate to more crime?  Or do more guns equal less crime?  You now have the accurate, carefully-researched information to decide for yourself.

Don't thank me, your friend, The Chuckmeister.  That's why God put me here...

The Last Bunch of "Those Things I've Learned" (Part Kuusi).

Well, my friends, here it is.  The final installment, Part "Kuusi" (Finnish for six, but you knew that, right?), of those things I've learned during my storied and fanciful life.  The last in a series of amazing feats of linguistics which have sallied me forth (fifth?) and sauntered me into your lives at this very moment in time.  The penultimate pinnacle (they mean the same thing...but you knew that) of stuff I know and think you might wish to know as well.  But first...

...I received several comments from around the Blogosphere about my bye-bye line in Part "Funf" (Deutch for "five").  I signed off with, "Hi-Yo Silver. Away!"  As anyone at or near their senior years knows, that was what the Lone Ranger shouted as he rode out of sight to end another of those famous black-and-white TV cowboy programs during the 1950's.  Those unfamiliar with The Chuckmeister, maybe those living in El Centro, or at the intersection of Florence and Normandy in the very wrongest part of L.A., or in a dumpster behind the nearest Wal-Mart, may not know that I am a student of, and an expert in, those old TV programs, and have much of their lore committed to my near encyclopedic but rapidly deteriorating memory (long sentence, I know, but it's my blog so it's okay). And so, by popular demand, here's the entire intro to "The Lone Ranger":

      "Hi-Yo Silver!  A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty Hi-Yo Silver!  The Lone Ranger, with his faithful Indian companion, Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early western United States.  Nowhere in the pages of history can one find a greater champion of justice. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear. From out of the past comes the thundering hoof-beats of the great horse Silver!  The Lone Ranger rides again!"

(And, of course, the very famous announcer was a man named Fred Foy. The Masked Man was played by Clayton Moore and his sidekick was played by Jay Silverheels, a real honest-to-God 'Murican Indian. What else could you possibly want to know?)

Of course, if that program were to be broadcast today, the Masked Man would be a transgender, recovering drug addict with a medical maryjowanna clinic named "High Plains Wacky Tabackey," forced into counseling because of his propensity to wear a mask during working hours, and his "faithful Indian companion" would now be a Native American with an advanced degree in cultural anthropology, who owns a casino and is the founder of the "Red Lives Matter" Political Action Committee.  But that's just me...

So, with that out of the way, I now proceed to cap off more of those "I've learned thingies" for your reading pleasure. "Fasten your seat belts.  It's going to be a bumpy night." (Betty Davis, "All about Eve," 1950).

-  I've learned that Bernie Sanders would be happy to give you the shirt off my back.

-  And speaking of "socialists," my definition is:  "A socialist is someone who desires all the benefits of an armed robbery without the courage to face his victim personally." But seriously, being a graduate and famed economist, at least in my own mind, The Chuckmeister (if The Donald can have an article before his name, and refer to himself in the third person, so can I) will now give you the accurate definition of the difference between communism and socialism, and your basic, garden-variety Progressive-ism - considering that several leading (from behind?) Democrats have been asked to do exactly that recently and couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer. So here goes:

          Communism:  Owns the source of manufacturing and wealth production, and, under the control of "those just a little more equal than you," will distribute it, in exchange for fealty. Think it works?  Try North Korea.

          Socialism:  Controls the source of manufacturing and wealth production, and, under the control of "those just a little more equal than you," will distribute it, in exchange for votes or other desired tributes. Think it works?  Try Venezuela. They sell gasoline for $0.15 a gallon, but nobody can afford a car.  Oh, and they just ran out of toilet paper.

          Progressivism:  Is insanely jealous of those who make things or invent things or create things, and desires to cozy up to them and pick their pockets when they aren't looking, so he/she/it can then use those proceeds to buy the votes and command the admiration of others.  Think it works?  Seems that it does.  Obama rode that wave into office by promising unicorns and rainbows, and has delivered nothing but pain and torment (or was that the "fundamental transformation" he promised?).  And Bernie has ignited a firestorm of support from those with advanced degrees in medieval poetry or existential phenomenalism who can't find a job and don't want to pay back their quarter-million dollars of student loans. Unfortunately for them, they live in a capitalistic country, which is unlikely to change any time soon.  Or, at least I sure hope so. Perhaps they should move to Venezuela.  But, they should be sure to take plenty of toilet paper with them if they do.

-  I've learned that Liberals want everybody to have an opinion...so long as its theirs.

-  I've learned that only California is dumb enough to want to build a high-speed train from Bakersfield, a place no one wants to be, to Modesto, a place where no one wants to go. And, despite our being told it would cost no more than $30 Billion a few years back when some dumbass dreamed this up, and the Federal Gummint would pay for 90% of that, those otherwise unemployables in Sacramento are now trying to find almost $100 Billion of somebody else's money to pay for it.  Annnd, the Gummint, having run out of money some time ago, is not agonna' pony up more than a sliver of that sum. Oh, and it's now projected to take longer to get from L.A. to San Fran on the boondoggley choo-choo than if you just got in your ancient VW Bug and drove there, stopping frequently for a pee break, for one-eighth of the cost.  Proof once again you just can't trust a Liberal with somebody else's money.  

-  And speaking of how dumb California can be, Carpinteria-based Carls Jr., renowned 60 year-old hamburger chain and parent of The Green Burrito and Hardees, has just announced its intention to relocate its headquarters and all key management personnel to Nashville, TN. Why? Because Taxifornia taxes the Hell out of those who are obnoxious enough to actually succeed in life, and Tennessee doesn't. When, I ask rhetorically, will those "just a little more equal than us" decide to reduce tax rates, both at the state level and nationally, in order to become competitive with those states managed by adults? Don't hold your breath, America. Liberals don't learn from their repeated failures.  Take a look at Chicago, Detroit, Baltimore, Newark, Philadelphia, New Orleans, etc., etc., all cities managed in perpetuity by Democrats if you don't believe me.

And don't feel too bad for the several dozen Carls Jrs.' execs who've been forced to move to TN.  They will be realizing a 13.9% bump in pay having been rescued from California's state income tax.      

-  I've learned that the term "people of color" is now almost as insulting and infuriating today as was "affirmative action" in the distant past.  What the Hell does "people of color" actually mean?  Blacks only?  Or does it also include Hispanics and Asians and 'Murican Indians?  And, by the way, beige is a color!   I be beige and I'm therefore one of them there "peoples of color." So, unless you want to be guilty of reverse racism, stop using that offensive term!  Or, start giving me some of that "affirmative action." Your choice. 

-  I've learned that Iran, having just fired two long-range missiles, is in contravention with its nuclear accord agreement. You know, the one whereby we paid them $150 Billion not to develop nuclear weapons for at least eight years (that long?).  But it's not really a problem, folks.  That's because they never signed the agreement.  Oh yeah, and neither did we. Whaaaaatt?  So, we're led to believe that they're bound by an agreement they didn't sign, and we're bound by an agreement we didn't sign.  I'm confused.  I think I'll lay down...

-  Despite hard-and-fast warnings of the impending El Nino deluge that was bearing down on the West Coast, only California was dumb enough to pay people like me to tear out their pretty green lawns and replace them with so-called "desert-scapes."  So, it cost me $1,000 to rid myself of the beautiful, but expensive-to-maintain turf, and replace it with cacti and such, and I got a check from the State for $4,000 for doing so. Plus, my water bill has gone down by 90%.  Is this a great state or what?  I just can't wait for the next episode of Progressive dumbassedness to unfold.

-  I've learned that an age-old saying has been proven true once again as we sit painfully through this interminable election season:  "When you get down in the mud with pigs, you'll get all dirty, and the pig likes it."

-  And speaking of "Progressives," they really want that so-called "1%" to finally pay their "fair share."  You've heard that also, right?  Well, my friends, and you are my friends, no doubt you, as loyal Chuckmeister readers, must know that the 1% of income earners in America earn about 19% of all income, yet pay more than 35% of all Federal income taxes. Exactly what, I'm wondering, do the Progressives or Liberals or dumbass weenies think would be a "fair share" if this isn't fair?  I'm guessing the 1% doesn't think it's fair.  And maybe that's the reason that more than 1,000 1%-ers gave up their American citizenship just last year and moved to parts unknown. And, the question has to be asked, wouldn't you if the foo was on the other shoot? 

-  I've learned that the POTUS has finally, finally stated that he intends to present a plan to Congress to close GITMO, which stands for Guantanamo Naval Base. You'll recall that on his first day in orifice he announced his intent to do so. Something about GITMO being a recruiting tool for terrorists, he says, despite the fact that it was only carved out of a hundred year-old, very large Navy base on the eastern end of Cuba a year after 19 jihadist killers flew hijacked airplanes into the World Trade Center. Apparently that fact was lost on our own resident Community Organizer-in-Chief.  

But facts be damned, Obama just has to close it.  And the reason he gives is that it is too expensive.  Imagine a Democrat saying that something involving taxpayer expenditures is too expensive!  But Barry divides the cost of running this 10,000-man forward lookout Naval base through the number of remaining detainees in a jail on a but a tiny portion of it. And so every time he releases one, the cost of detaining the remaining Bad Guys goes up, according to him. So, apparently when we get down to one detainee at GITMO, B. Hussein Obama will ascribe the entire cost of running the GITMO Naval base through its annual $650 Million operating budget. Incredibly stupid. But hey, you hired him, I didn't.

Sooooo, my friends, using this logic, I offer up the fact that it costs more than $1.6 Billion Dollars a Year to run the White House.  That's more than 20 times the cost the Brits endure to support their beloved Royal Family.  And that number doesn't include the cost of operating Air Force One or any of Barry's more than 40 vacations since he was immaculated, now totaling more than $70 Million. So, I suggest we usher Barry and his family out the door and the whole cost of running the White House goes away, right? 

-  I've learned before you can be "overwhelmed" you first have to be "whelmed."  You knew that, right?

-  Annnnnnd, I've learned that there are two kinds of people in the world.  Those who divide people into two kinds, and those who don't...

-  I've learned that Zimbabwe is overstocked with lions.  It seems that when that poor Minneapolis dentist shot Cecil the Lion, legally, with a permit, for which he'd coughed up Big Bucks (more than $50,000!), and the world went nuts, big game hunters started shunning this African country.  I mean, who wants to be vilified by a bunch of PETA-types for no good reason whatsoever?  Now Zimbabwe is more than 200 lions overstocked because, as a predator with no natural enemies...except big game hunters...their numbers haven't been thinned and they've overgrown their habitat.  And, natives are high on lions' preferred list of snack food.  And, unless they can find someplace else to put them, they'll have to "cull" them.  That means shoot them!  Just like the dentist did to Cecil.  And that means the local guides won't have anyone to call "Bwana," and the local tribes won't have any game meat to eat, and the local economy will suffer greatly. Just so you know, the entire cost of operating game preserves come from the fees paid by hunters!  But the fools at PETA will be able to pat each other on the back while sipping their Pinot Grigio and stuffing canapes into their pouty mouths, their little pinkies high in the air at their Friday night cocktail parties. Kinda' warms your heart, doesn't it?

-  I've learned that Chicago is our Mogadishu.  So far this year there have been 490 people shot vs. 293 a year ago at the same time. And, with 32 shot last weekend and 4 more dead, their total is 115 dead this year vs. 57 one year ago. Think of it:  The city with the very most restrictive gun control laws in the entire United States, a city where you simply cannot legally buy a gun unless your daddy is the Mayor, a city where you are not permitted to defend yourself against those who wish you dead, has the most people killed by gunfire. And what do the leaders of this failed city have to say for themselves?  They say they need more restrictive gun control laws!  Yeah, that's it. Reduce gun deaths by making it harder for those who aren't killing anybody to buy a gun and shoot back. Remember what they say about insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Not a real good idea.  

-  I've learned that no matter how bad the situation in the world gets, or how poorly our relationships with other countries grows, or how obvious it is that these failures are our fault, Obama will tell us that it is clearly and obviously not his fault!

-  I've learned that there were a total of 1,250 submarines commissioned by the German Navy during World War Part Deux.  They were super small by today's standards, crewed by 30 or less.  They were part of the dreaded "wolfpack" that terrorized the Atlantic shipping lanes during the run up to the War.  They were really more "submersibles" than "submarines," as they needed to spend more time on the surface than submerged so they could recharge their lead acid batteries and replenish their oxygen supplies. Thus, they were easily spotted and destroyed by Allied forces' airplanes. 

And on these subs were more than 40,000 young German sailors, average age just 21 years. During the War more than 60% of these sailors, some 28,000, were lost during battle or thereafter.  And all but two of these subs were sunk.  One is in Leboe, Germany, at the shipyard where it was built, in a museum dedicated to sailors of the world.  It was the source and inspiration for the movie, "Das Boot." I've been there.  If you haven't seen it, please do so if you get the chance. The other, a "Type 7," is located at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago, IL.  It was the basis for the movie, "U-571."  The Allies captured it, towed it down the Saint Lawrence Seaway to and across Lake Michigan, and then built a railroad track across Lakeshore Highway to bring it up alongside the Museum.  I've seen it, and toured it. You should as well. Seeing these weapons of war up close could change your opinion of whether combat is an adventure or a stupid waste for all mankind.  It sure was for the Nazis.

And by the way, the "Nazis," or those who were members of the "National Socialist German Workers' Party," were, by definition, "socialists."  Take that, Bernie.

-  I've learned that the San Francisco Board of Supervisors has just voted to enable their school girls aged 11 - 14 to have access to condoms.  All they have to do is ask their school nurse, and voila!, super ribbed neon-tinted Trojans for each of them!  And without their mommies and daddies knowing a thing about it!  As the father of four daughters, all I can say is what Dana Carvey's Church Lady would have said under the same circumstances:  "Well, isn't that special!"

-  I've learned that more than three months have passed since Texas made "open carry" of weapons legal.  Yes, for the first time in more than 100 years it's now legal to wander around Texas with a six gun strapped to your hip.  And, despite howls of rage by the lefty gun-grabbers, and predictions of the end of life as we know it by those who hate and fear anything that looks like a gun, there have been exactly ZERO instances of shootings or rage killings in Texas.  And, even more importantly, there have been exactly ZERO instances of Islamic jihadist terrorist murderous attacks in Texas during that same period. Kind of an interesting juxtaposed factoid, don't you think?  But then again, what self-respecting jihadist killer would try and intimidate a state chocked full of well-armed citizens?  After all, they don't want to be shot down like the dogs they are before they've had the chance to take dozens of innocent souls with them.

-  I've learned that Liberals just want to be left alone to live our lives.

-  I've learned that it's illegal in California for gun stores to advertise that they sell guns outside their establishments? Why?  Somebody, the theory goes, might be sauntering down the sidewalk, whistling a happy tune, see a sign in the window, and decide on a whim to go in, buy a gun and go put a bullet into some poor unsuspecting citizen. Excepppttt, there's a mandatory ten-day waiting period before you can actually take possession of your new to-be murder weapon. Are these dumbasses up in Sacramento actually reading the laws they're passing?

-  I've learned that Vicente Fox, Meheeeeeeeko's ex-prez, on live TV, said, "...I'm not going to pay for that f**king wall!"  He was of course referring to The Donald's campaign promise to build a 1,000 mile long wall between us and our primary supplier of low-cost labor.  To which the Don-Don stated that he would build the wall 10 feet taller.  So, how will he make Meheeeeeeeko pay for the wall, estimated by some to cost roughly $7 - $8 Billion?  Simple.  By my reckoning, all we'd have to do is: a) reduce our annual foreign aid to that country by a like amount, which is now some $57 Billion; b) impose a tariff on any goods manufactured by 'Murican companies in their plants down there by that same amount; and c), glom on to repatriations of monies sent back there by illegals who work here illegally. And that last one equals more than $20 Billion a year.  Major money!

-  I've learned that if you really want to live in a socialist society, say Cuba for instance, you can do so without leaving the good ol' U. S. of A.  Simply take a plane or a train or drive your expensive electric car to San Francisco.  San Fran is the left-leaning-est city we have. And they're proud of it! Want to buy a gun in San Fran?  No luck. They just ran their very last gun store out of business last month.  The High Point Arms store had been in bizz in the Tenderloin District for more than 60 years.  But SFO decided that guns be BAD! So, no more gun store.  Want to buy a dog or a cat or a fish in San Fran? No luck again.  Their city fathers and mothers and others (lots of others!) have decided that pets are people too.  They ran their last pet store out of bizz in 2014, putting hundreds of folks out of work.  So, if you want a pet or a gun, you have to go across the Golden Gate Bridge to Marin County to purchase Fido or a shiny new Glock.  Now, in all fairness, Marin is just as commie as SFO is, but they're at least a little more interested in sales taxes.  So they'll happily collect their percentage of any pet or firearm purchase. And, as you know, the San Fran folks really love illegals! Being a sanctuary city, there's lots and lots of illegal aliens running around SFO.  And the transgenders who run this utopia are proud as punch! So, take a trip to SFO if you want to learn what socialism is like in actual practice.  But hold on to your wallet.  The vagrants and homeless will aggressively panhandle you and the police will politely ignore your protestations.

-  And speaking of socialists, I've learned that one Senator Bernie Sanders believes that health care in America is a "right."  Apparently, Bernie seems to think that we have the "right" to "Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and health care."  And where does this "right" come from, he's been asked?  Being a member of the human race, Bernie says. Hmmm.  And since "life" and "liberty," and "the pursuit of happiness" are free, Bernie, just who, exactly, is going to pay for this "right?" "The 1%," he says.  It seems to me that, if this were to happen, it would be far simpler and less complicated for 1%-ers to just be forced to adopt poor folks directly instead of laundering the money through our Gummint for redistribution to those who would ultimately get it.  Sort of like the ASPCA does for pets.  Let's call it the "ASFRWFTSPKTOG." Or, the "American Society for the Forced Redistribution of Wealth From Those who Shouldn't be Permitted to Keep it to Those who Ought to Get it."  Good idea?

-  I've learned that 93,688,000 Americans are not in the Labor Force.  Think of that number.  That means that roughly 40% of working-age folks are not working.  And likely not because they don't want to.  More likely, it's because they've given up looking for work 'cause there just isn't any.  And due to that fact, they are not included in our unemployment numbers. So, our artificially-low 4.9% unemployment rate is likely above 11%!  Baaaad!

-  I've learned that one Donald John Trump is not afflicted by that age-old problem of "small hands, small...ummm, well, you know."  We've all learned of that because Mr. Trump was nice enough to share that fact with us on national TV during a debate in front of more than 16,900,000 prospective voters. One Mr. Rubio suggested that Mr. Trump's, ummm, manhood, shall we say, was smallish because his hands were, ummm smallish.  Mr. Trump told us that was not the case.  In fact, he "guaranteed" as much.  So far as I've been able to determine, this was the very first and only time in more than 230 years of U.S. history that a candidate for the Presidency has bragged about the size of his tallywhacker, or felt the need to. Make of this what you will.

If this campaign proceeds in the fashion to which we've now become accustomed, I think it likely that we may well have a pay-per-view "peck-off," where each candidate whips out the goods and the one with the longest becomes the nominee.

-  I've learned that last Tuesday, March 8th, at about 3:45 p.m., while Hil(liar)y Clinton was delivering a rousing stump speech in front of a raucous campaign rally of more than 30 rabid fans, she actually told the truth!  Her fans and the reporters in attendance were so shocked, so taken aback, so astounded at the reality that she told the truth when she could have easily lied once again, that a strange, surreal hush came over the crowd.  Eyes were wide open, and mouths agape.  One could almost hear the breeze blowing through the nearly empty stadium.  And then, as if to let her fans know it was just an accident, she lied when the truth would have sounded better and continued on with her speech.  Polite nervous chuckles ensued.  Those in attendance were heard to remark that none could ever remember Mrs. Clinton ever having made such a mistake before... 

And so, my friends, for my exit to this little posting, I take you back to a much-loved and much simpler time.  Alongside the Lone Ranger was Superman!  And here's the intro, from memory, to that long-ago TV show:

"Faster then a speeding bullet!  More powerful than a locomotive!  Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!"

"Look, up in the sky!  It's Superman!  Yes, Superman, strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond mortal men.  Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers.  Bend steel in his bare hands!  And who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the American way."

And so, my friends, may the farce be with you. 

Chuckmeister, out...

More Yet of That Bunch of Stuff I've Learned (Serie Funf)...

Well, kiddies, you may or may not be pleased to learn that this will be the next to last in the series of things that I've learned over the course of my illustrious, often-imitated-but-never-duplicated, lifetime.  

Oh yeah, there's plenty more that I've learned, and will learn, but I think I've beaten this horse to such an extent that PETA will soon be banging on my door, begging me to stop.  Horse beating is no longer permitted, don't you know.

So, in no particular order, here's some more of that stuff that I've learned and feel honor-bound to share:

-  Have you seen those cutesy TV ads from Ally Bank?  You know, like the one with that guy who embarrasses himself at dinner by saying, "Ahhh, Pinot Noir.  It means, "Peanuts of the night."  Well, my friends, and you are my friends, what you may not know is that Ally Bank is what emerged like the Phoenix from the ashes of GMAC, or General Motors Acceptance Corporation. Those were the guys who would finance that new Chevy you just had to have.  And those were the guys who went down in flames back in 2008 when the economy tanked.  And those were the guys who still owed us, you and me, more than $8.7 Billion when they reformed as a non-brick-and-mortar Internet bank to take your deposits and cash your checks. How, I ask rhetorically, are these bozos permitted to get back into the banking business when they haven't yet paid off their obligations to us, the U.S. taxpayers?  Since he's the guy that facilitated, even shepherded GM's bankruptcy, maybe somebody ought to ask Barry Obama that question at his next press conference.

-  I've learned that there are people dumb enough to believe that Socialist Bernie Sanders will, if elected, give them free college tuition, and billionaire Donald Trump, if elected, will deport 12,000,000 illegal aliens.  

What good ol' Bern, no doubt one of the least accomplished men in America, and without the Senate would likely be on welfare, doesn't seem to realize is that those rich enough to be worth robbing blind are rich enough to hop on a plane, theirs or someone else's, and fly off to Belize, or Panama, or Costa Rica, or Ireland, or some other warm and sunny place, and, with saddle bags full of cash in hand, ask for political asylum (long sentence, that).  There's already an island off the coast of Canada which is offering political asylum in the event The Donald wins the election.  

And what that same Donald doesn't seem to realize is that each and every illegal would necessarily receive Constitutional due process, including a free lawyer and his day in court, prior to being forcibly tossed out.  One thing for sure, every underemployed lawyer in America is hoping he wins, as that would represent full, well-paid employment for them all until the end of time. Yet, there are those so incredibly eaten up with the dumbass they buy both of these guy's fanciful fairy tales.

-  I've learned that a gun in the hand beats a cop on the phone.  Every time...

-  I've learned that any politician that advocates the passage of a new piece of legislation without offering up an old one for sending to the shredder should be taken out and shot.

-  I learned back in physics class that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Therefore, since fat is nothing but stored energy, if someone loses it, someone else had to gain it, right?  I wonder who gained Marie Osmond's fat?  And since Rosie O'Donnell still has her fat, and plenty of it, we fortunately don't have to wonder about hers.  

-  I've learned that lefty eco-weenie "miwwionaires and biwwionaires" just luuuuuv $120,000 electric cars.  That's because they say they want to "save the planet."  Wellll, you dufuses, perhaps you didn't dig deep enough to find out that the batteries in electric cars are composed of super-rare earths that need to be mined and refined and then repurposed from far away climes, which throws gobs and gobs of nasty stuff up into the atmosphere.  And those batteries need to be disposed of with great care as they are terribly injurious to Momma Earth. And God help you if you get into an accident and need the First Responders, as they may not be able to use the Jaws of Life to extricate you from your pile of twisted metal.  Those "Jaws" might just electrocute the guys who want to help you.  And, those electric cars don't recharge themselves out of the ether, either.  Half of the energy used to power electricity generating plants is coal!  So, coal makes electricity, and the electricity made from coal powers electric cars.  A conundrum of the First Magnitude, don't you think?  In short, like cocaine, electric cars are God's way of letting you know you make too much money...

-  I've learned that Bernie Sanders should be asked if socialism works so very well, why has socialist Venezuela run out of toilet paper?  Gasoline costs only $0.15 a gallon in Venezuela, but nobody can afford a car.  And half the folks there are starving to death. Perhaps ol' Bern should visit countries like this one before giving capitalism the finger.

-  And not to harangue Chicago too much, but hey, I've learned that no matter how many get killed in "gun free" Chicago each and every weekend, it won't be reported by the Obama Media.  That's because it's proof positive that "gun free" creates nothing but a "target rich environment." There were more than 100 shot there during the first ten days of 2016, and 12 of them died.  All Black.  And all at the hands of other Blacks. In a city where it's virtually impossible to buy and own a gun. And where it's also near impossible to defend yourself against those who wish you dead.  Brings new meaning to the term "gun free zone," doesn't it?  What I find quizzical is why everybody hasn't yet bolted from the Windy City for more healthful locales. 

-  I've learned that Polar Bears can swim for sixty miles. Sixty miles!  So, when you see a photo from some dumbass organization picturing a Polar Bear perched precariously on a little spit of an iceberg somewhere, looking all forlorn and lonely, it's because he wants to be there, and not because he's afraid of drowning.

- I've learned that only in America can you go from Governor of Arkansas at $35,000 a year to the owner of your own personal foundation with $500 Million in the bank. Invent something?  Start a pizza chain?  Become a world-class neurosurgeon?  Hell no!  Just become a crooked politician!

-  I've learned that in order to start shooting up shopping malls and schools and military installations somewhere, it's first necessary for a nice, young Muslim male to first become "radicalized."  Or, at least that's what the Oblamo Administration and the Lap Dog Media wants us to believe. Funny, I don't recall any nice, young Baptist or Methodist or Mormon or Amish males having to become "radicalized" prior to shooting up a ...oh wait, they don't shoot up anything! Never mind...

-  I've learned that Obama's promise to "fundamentally transform America (speech, February 15, 2009), is perhaps the only promise that he's ever made that he's actually kept.

-  I've learned that more than 9,000 corporations have moved from California to neighboring states during the past ten years. The dumbass fools who write the laws up in Sacramento have so messed up our beautiful chunk of paradise that companies are beating feet to other, more business-friendly locales at flank speed.  Can you blame them?  Need an example?  Sure.  Toyota was headquartered in Torrance, California for more than sixty years.  They've moved to Plano, Texas, and taken with them more than 4,700 of their high-earning, white-color employees, along with billions of dollars worth of economic activity.  Why? Taxifornia's tax rates top out at $13.9%. Texas? Zero corporate dollars!    And zero personal rates.  And Nevada, and Utah, same thing. And very low in Arizona and New Mexico.  Any wonder why I-10 is full of vehicles heading east?  Why did Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown have to say upon learning of Toyota's exodus from the once-Golden State? "Good riddance," he said.  Nice, Jer. Nice.  Please write when you've found work.

-  I've learned that one Hil(liar)y Rodham Clinton tried to join the Marine Corps when she was 26 years old. Yes, my friends, the Hildebeest tells us that just after graduation from Yale Law School, and passing the Bar, and heading off to Arkansas to marry Billy Jeff "Blue Dress," who had just been elected that state's Attorney General, and proudly displaying for all to see her chops as having protested mightily the Vietnam War as a volunteer for various lefty groups, including one run by Saul "Rules for Radicals" Alinsky, Barry Obama's official handbook, she decided to become a Marine. She was refused admittance, she now tells us, because she was "too old."  Hmmm.  Sure.  The Marines would have stomped warm puppies to death to take a woman lawyer into the Judge Advocate General's Corp, or "Corpse," as Barry calls it, back then in the post-Vietnam era.  But the Hildebeest tells us she couldn't qualify.  I believe her, don't you? This is the same woman who told us her parents named her after Sir Edmund Hilary. That's the guy, by the way, who climbed Mount Everest  Four years after she was born!  Perhaps she was confused.  Or hopes we are...

-  And speaking of Mrs. Clinton, I've learned that the antidote to one of those "four hour erections" they talk about is simple: just listen to a recording of Hil(liar)y Clinton delivering one her patented stump speeches, screaming at the top of her gold-plated, socialist lungs, like fingernails on a blackboard, and your woodie will disappear in nothing flat!

-  I've learned that Martin Luther King, Jr., has his own holiday.  Yet, inexplicably, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Abraham Lincoln, F. D. Roosevelt, Harry Truman and Ronald Reagan, etc., etc. do not.  Could it possibly be that the fact Dr. King has a holiday and the others do not is some sort of reverse racism?

-  I've learned that not one single solitary classified email was sent to or received by Mrs. Hil(liar)y Clinton on her home-brew server, according to her.  Yet, thus far there have been some 1,730 such emails unearthed, with more yet to come. Some are so top secret, named "SAP," or Special Access Program, that those tasked to find them cannot even read them.  I, the Chuckmeister, at one time held a Top Secret Crypto clearance back when I was defending America from communism, and SAP clearance is two steps beyond that. Any wonder Hil has an honesty deficit problem?

-  I've learned that, two months following the horrendous mass slaughter at the San Bernardino County Developmental Center by Islamic jihadist murderous killer thugs, their First District Supervisor Robert Livingood has just called for all County personnel to be armed.  Finally!  As loyal readers of the Chuckmeister's unassuming little blog knows well, I've been calling for damn near everybody to be armed and considered dangerous. Unless and until the Good Guys are armed, the Bad Guys will be free to wander around shooting nice folks with abandon. We cannot allow that, people.  We cannot, and we should not.  Period!  The SanBerdoo leaders finally came around. What about the rest of you?

-  I've learned that when John F. Kennedy got his boat, PT-109, shot out from under him and his men by the Japanese Navy in the Pacific during WW-Part Deux, they were able to swim to a deserted island in the Solomons.  They then carved a "rescue us, pretty please" message on a coconut and tossed into the ocean.  It was found by some passing natives rowing their canoe nearby and then delivered to the Navy, who were able to rescue JFK and his men.  Thereafter, he kept it on his desk in the Oval Office for all to see.

-  I've learned that Jesus and I had something important in common:  Jesus turned water into wine.  I turn wine into water...

-  I've learned that those insufferable, interminable and annoying PSAs (Public Service Announcements) that frequent your cable TV programming are there for one very, very important reason:  The network depends upon them to make a profit.  

What, you say?  They profit from running "free" PSAs?  Yes, kiddies, they really do. That's because every one of those "free" ads they run offsets a "paying" ad run by some car company, or drug company, or weight loss company that could have been run in that same time slot.  So, if CNN or FOX or MSPMS, for instance, runs one of those "visit the forest," or "cars for kiddies," or Wounded Warriors" ads, they can write off the equivalent amount they "could have" sold that 30- or 60-second or 3-minute spot to a paying advertiser, whether or not there was an advertiser desirous of purchasing that time slot.  So if they write off $1.00 of freebie ad for every $1.00 of an equally-charged $1.00 of paying ad, they wind up with "zero" income.  Get it?  See?  It pays to own a network!

-  I've learned that if Albert Gore had won his own home state of Tennessee, he would have won the 2000 election and we wouldn't have had to go through "hanging chads" and the bleatings of Michael Moore and Supreme Court decisions to determine the ultimate winner. My thinking is that if your own home state doesn't like you enough to vote for you, I don't care who your opponent is...I'll take him (or now her, or even "it"). And that, kiddies, is how we wound up with George W. Bush as POTUS.  So, all you dummies who think the election was stolen, no it wasn't; it was forfeited by a guy who was - and is - a fatuous, vacuous, lumbering, slumbering, lurchified, droning, low-rent, gasbag fool.

So there, my friends, another group of "learnings" is in the can.  And now sent along to you via the "1s" and "0s" so accommodating by the digital age.  I trust you'll find some of them enjoyable, or enlightening, or even infuriating.  Because I'm an equal opportunity enlighten-er and infuriat-er.  So, if you don't like them, just remember: They're free!  

And so, until next time, in the words of the immortal Lone Ranger, "Hi-yo Silver. Away!"

And Still MORE Stuff I've Learned (Part Quatro)

Well, children, here we are.  It's Part Four and I'm just getting started.  How much can one person learn in a short (long?) life?  Quite a bit, it seems.  And here is more of that stuff for you to ponder and enjoy.  Without further ado...

-  I've learned that the fine city of Lowell, Massassasschuuttes, or however you spell that commie state's name, has just implemented something I find quite disturbing.  Yes, my friends, this fair burg has decided if its residents wish to exercise their 2nd Amendment rights to "keep and bear arms," they must first write an essay to the Town Mothers and Fathers (overseers?) as to why they should be permitted to do so.  And then, if Mommy and Daddy decide they're worthy, they must then take a five-day course in gun safety, which this city is happy to sell you, and administer, for the rather astoundingly humungous sum of $1,100.00!  

I'm asking myself if these bozos are aware that charging such an exorbitant amount effectively disenfranchises their less well heeled residents from exercising their fundamental, God-given Right?  The very same folks who likely live on the wrong side of the tracks and need it more than those who live in safer neighborhoods.  And then I'm asking if they are intending to tweak the remaining nine Rights a bit? Like, perhaps, charging people a license fee prior to allowing them to stand on a soapbox in the Town Square and holler out their opinions.  Or, forcing them to buy a permit before being able to invoke their 5th Amendment right against self incrimination. How could it possibly be that there's a town in modern-day America that is run by complete, unadulterated, commie pinko dumbass liberal weenies?  I, for one, fear the end is near.

-  I've learned that eating two strips of bacon for breakfast each day reduces your chances of becoming a jihadist suicide bomber by fully 100%.  Also, I've decided that what we normal, non-jihadist, non-terrorist folks need is some bacon-scented after shave. Then, just about the time one of those Bad Guys tries to separate your head from the rest of your torso, they'll get the scent of pork products and take off running at flank speed in the opposite direction, their Kukri knife dragging in the dirt.  Better than pepper spray!  Almost as good as a .357 Magnum! 

-  I've learned that the Wounded Warrior Project has taken in more than $1 Billion Dollars since it's inception in 2004, and the rather large sum of $353 Million in 2015 alone!  That's tall money, my friends, especially since it's built on guilt trip info ads airing non-stop on cable TV, and $19 a month pledges from ordinary folks like you and me.  

And I've also learned that the folks that run this non-profit are spending like drunken sailors (no insult to sailors intended!) on "team building" trips and meals and food and beverages and travel.  $30 Million last year alone!  And, I've learned that they donate only about 60% of of their proceeds to the Warriors they are supposed to be helping!  

You should know that the organization that oversees charity groups like this one in terms of actually doing what they're supposed to do has placed the Wounded Warrior Project on its "do not donate" list.  As a veteran, I'm sorry to have to report this news...

-  And speaking of scams, it's time to address our attention to another thing I've learned.  As soon as "Mike Lindell," the supposed founder of the "My Pillow" enterprise, stated in one of his ubiquitous TV commercials that his product had been recommended by the "National Sleep Foundation," I just knew that outfit had been founded by good ol' Mike himself for a little third-party proof that his pillow was worth the $100 he was charging.  Considering you can buy a damn fine pillow from Target or Wal-Mart or Sears for $25, the extra $75 just has to go into advertising to get the easily swayed to cough up the dough.  Or into his well-rested jacket pocket.  This scam was old when I was young.  But it apparently still works on the gullible.  Simply found a foundation to tell the world the crap you're selling is worth buying.  Sad, but it works. Unfortunately... 

-  And speaking of hookers (we were, weren't we?), I've learned that the term "hooker" was coined as a synonym for prostitutes by (in)famous Major General Joseph Hooker, Civil War commander par excellence.  He was known for his hard-drinking, partying and dalliances with the ladies at his headquarters. Thereafter, women of the evening came to be known as "hookers," forevermore.  

Oh, and if you were wondering where the term "crapper" came from (you were, weren't you?), it dates all the way back to 1836 England, and to the guy who invented the "W.C.," or Water Closet (flush toilet). Thomas Crapper, later to be knighted (I proclaim thee Sir Crapper...Jeesh!), was a pretty good plumber.  So good that he came up with a better way to get rid of the stuff everybody wants to get rid of. So, when somebody calls the bathroom the "crapper," you'll finally know from whence the term emanated.  

-  I've learned that there has never, ever, ever been a civil or criminal complaint, or prosecution, or conviction, of a person who removed, altered or defaced the tag on a mattress or pillow in any state, county, city or province of the United States of America. So, one could reasonably ask, why is it there?  Could this be another one of those laws that should be repealed before another one is passed?

-  I've learned that, in spite of my efforts, there is still no White Congressional Caucus, no National Association for the Advancement of White People, no White Entertainment Network or Awards Program, and no White History Month. Perhaps worst of all, there's no Affirmative Action for White people displaced by preferences given to Blacks.  And yet, Beyonce Knowles (who is she again?) can prance around in a swim suit during the half time of the Super Bowl giving salutes to Malcolm X and the Black Panther Party, and then Black Lives Matter, when White guys wearing white sheets and hoods and carrying burning crosses doing the same exact thing would have been arrested and immediately sent to the Pelican Bay SuperMax.  Just saying...  

-  I've learned that our Mr. B. Hussein Obama has a bit of a problem with the Federal Debt.  You'll recall back on July 3, 2008, when he said:  

"The problem is, is that the way Bush has done it over the last eight years is to take out a credit card from the Bank of China in the name of our children, driving up our national debt from $5 Trillion for the first 42 Presidents - #43 added $4 Trillion all by his lonesome, so that we now have over $9 Trillion of debt that we are going to have to pay back - $30,000 for every man, woman and child. That's irresponsible!  That's unpatriotic!" 

Ummm, Mr. Obama, we just passed $19,000,000,000,000 in Federal Debt.  You've now put more on that Chinese credit card than all of America's other Presidents combined!  Now you've racked up more than $56,000 in indebtedness for every single American!  Does that make you irresponsible? Unpatriotic?

-  I've learned that most of you don't know, or don't remember, that George Stephanopoulos was one of those who helped elect Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton back in 1992. And then, he was a key part, along with the infamous James Carville, in his reelection in 1996.  But did you know that he was Clinton's Assistant Press Secretary, and then his Communications Director, and later his White House Chief of Staff? And then, after leaving Clinton in 1996 following Billy's reelection, without any, any journalistic training or experience whatsoever, he was hired by ABC as a newscaster? And now he is ABC's Chief Political Reporter and has a featured one-hour political talking heads show on Sunday morning? ABC is the media arm of Mickey Mouse. don't you know.  Is there anybody out there who still doesn't understand that there's a strong, indelibly strong left wing media bias out there?  Maybe this is why people call him George Clintonopoulos, and CNN, the Clinton New Network.

-  I've learned that the pyramids and the Spinx and Stonehenge and Machu Pichu are not the oldest man-made objects on Earth.  That honor now falls to Gobekle Tepe, a 22 acre shrine to something-or-other in southeastern Turkey. This place has been carbon-dated at somewhere between 11,000 and 12,000 years old!  That's more than 6,000 years older than those previously considered for that distinction.  

This site features a series of "T" shaped, carved stone pillars buried in the ground, each more than 16' tall and weighing 7 - 10 tons.  And yet, the folks who supposedly carved and erected these pillars had no wheel and no metal tools. Perhaps even more amazing is the carved animal pictographs on these pillars of lions, monkeys, vultures, scorpions and foxes, which Turkey never had and still doesn't.  So, how did this place get built?  Cue the "X-Files" intro music, pulleeeze... 

-  I've learned that ex-NYC Mayor Little Mikey Bloomberg, famous anti-gun nanny who wants to insert himself into your diet, and the guy who banned salt from NYC restaurant tables, may have mistaken "assault weapon" for "a salt weapon."  Perhaps that's why he's so dead set on having them removed from our gun safes.

-  I've learned that almost every Bernie Sanders voter is a college student who is drowning in student loans.  And they just can't wait for "The Bern" to get elected so that their college tuition will be free.  Of course, they seem to be unaware that the folks Bernie intends to fleece to pay for all of that will have by then moved to Panama or Costa Rica or Belize, and taken with them the bucks ol' Bern needs to pay for his voters' college loans.  Too bad.  It seems each generation is just begging to be fleeced by one politician or another.

- I've learned that if a train leaves Springfield, Illinois, heading south southwest toward Baton Rouge, Louisiana, at the average rate of 56 miles per hour, and another train leaves Baton Rouge, Louisiana, heading north northeast for Springfield at the average rate of 49 miles per hour, the question is, when will they have a flaming head-on collision? I, for one, have no friggin' idea.  And I don't care.  That's because I've lived almost 70,000 days since trying and failing to learn algebra, and have never had to use it even once.  

However, I really don't need to know algebra, because we live in a 24/7 news cycle, and I'm guessing there will be a news crew from WWTF in Bowling Green, Kentucky, which will be there, cranked up and ready, to report on the twisted, mangled metal and the broken, bleeding bodies.  I guess in retrospect my Medieval Poetry major didn't help all that much after all.

Well, that's enough for now, my friends.  Pour yourself a stiff one and contemplate the amazing tidbits of knowledge that has just flowed your way.  And, for absolutely no exchange of shekels whatsoever!  How lucky are you?  And so, until next time...

"Happy trails to you, until we meet again.  Happy trails to you, keep smiling until then.  Happy trails to you, 'til we meet again."

Roy Rogers, sometime in the 1950's

Still More Stuff I've Learned (Part Drei).

This is Number Three in the essay on the stuff I've learned while spending more than seventy years trying to stay out of trouble and out of jail.  And believe me, there was some heavy bobbing and weaving in order to accomplish those objectives.  Mostly.  So far, so good.  

However, I sustained some bruises along the way, and learned a lesson or two that might prove helpful for all the other "Great Unwashed" among you.  So, buckle up, here goes...

-  I've learned that it's a heavy stain on our proud Country that there needs to be a "Wounded Warrior Project."  You've no doubt been hammered on by the unending TV commercials begging you to send off "just $19.00 a month" in order to put our heroes back together after having been sent off to war.  Plus, you'll get a blankie to show their appreciation.  Why, I ask, shouldn't the country that sent them off to die, or be forever maimed, take care of them after they return home?  And why should some outfit badger us incessantly for a bunch of dough to fix them up without us knowing just how that money's being spent?  Why, indeed?

-  I've learned that ex-Alaskan Governor and ex-Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has decided to endorse POTUS candidate Donald J. Trump.  Why, me wonders, is Sarah choosing Trump to endorse rather than Ted Cruz, the guy she supported heavily in 2012 for Texas Senator, and campaigned with him incessantly.  I think I may have a possible answer to that question.  What, one might ask, does Trump have that Cruz doesn't?  Ummm, $10 Billion Dollars perhaps?  I wouldn't be surprised if Sarah found an extra $500 Grand in her checking account in the next few days she didn't remember depositing.  And maybe an appointment as Secretary of the Interior should The Donald emerge victorious in his run for Prez?  But that's just me...

-  I've learned from a contact in the Riverside County Sheriff's Office that there were more than 1,000 calls to request appointments to interview for a CCW (Concealed Carry Weapon's) permit in the week following the shooting at the San Bernardino school.  And, my contact states, due to a scarcity of personnel to handle such matters, more than 300 of those calls had yet to be returned.  What's the fallout from all this? Unlike the vast majority of other states, where you simply walk in to the local sheriff's office, plunk down $25 or so, and walk out with a CCW permit, in Taxifornia you must first apply for an appointment to be interviewed.  If you are then judged as qualified to carry concealed, in their sole opinion, it will take many more months to find out if you're successful in obtaining your permit. According to my contact, appointments are now being made for March, 2018.    That's more than two years from now. Congratulate yourself if you live somewhere else besides the once-Golden State...

-  I've learned that more than 100 people were shot in Chicago in just the first ten days of 2016.  Now considering that Chi-town has the most restrictive gun control laws in the entire nation, effectively eliminating the 2nd Amendment within its city limits, you have a really good example here of what Barry Obama and his Sycophants have planned for you if you live anywhere else.  You can't buy a gun in Chicago, but you can die in Chicago.  Doesn't seem right, does it?

-  I've just learned that Solar City, the biggest solar panel installer in the Country, has just pulled the BK plug.  After installing more solar panels than any other company, it just discovered that its business model doesn't work.  Elon Musk, the billionaire founder and majority owner of Solar City (and Tesla cars and SpaceX), could no longer make this leasing- panels-to-people work.  That's because it did so by overcharging for the panels, and then billing the Feds (you and me) for the 30% Income Tax Credit our Gummint offers. They wouldn't sell them.  I know.  I tried to buy them from Solar City. They told me they would only lease.  And after the Gummint discovered it owed Solar City more than $500 Million in payments, it cried foul and ordered an investigation. And from that investigation it was learned that our collective pockets have been picked, and picked big time!  Solar City now leases.  Or at least it did, before it pulled the plug.

-  I've learned that six of the top ten very richest cities/counties in America in terms of median household income are located in and around the Washington, D.C. area. They are:

          #1:  Falls Church, VA - $125,635
          #2:  Loundoun County, VA - $122,641
          #3:  Fairfax County, VA - $110,507
          #6:  Arlington, VA - $107,143
          #7:  Howard County, MD - $106,871

Think of it, my friends.  It wasn't too long ago that the richest counties were located in or near Silicon Valley, or San Francisco, or Manhattan, or rural Connecticut, or toney Long Island's Hamptons area.  Now, with the out-of-control growth of government, the rich are now those who work for us.  The folks who make on average twice what we do.  And we, the people who pay them, are now poorer than ever before.  I want to puke...

-  I've learned that the portent of a super big blizzard bearing down on the Eastern seaboard is enough to cause the "powers that be" to shut down the Government.  Yes, my friends, on the weekend of January 22nd, 2016, the Feds pulled the plug on all matters Governmental and sent everybody home.  No bizz to be conducted.  None. Now, considering that we have 1,645,239 laws on the books, or maybe twice that many (I have no idea...I made that number up!), what I'm wondering is how we mere mortals can figure out how to bring on a whole bunch more blizzards.  If a little bit of snow can shut down the business of making laws, and I think we can all agree we sure as hell don't need any more laws, then how can we figure out how make much, much, much more snow?  I mean, hello America!  We had 2,600 pages in the Federal Register in 1936.  With all of the new regs added daily by the SEC, the FDA, the EPA and all the other 600+ Alphabet Federal agencies, we have more than 800,000 today!  When is enough, enough?  I don't know about you, but I'm soooo pissed at the Gummint for making new laws without cancelling the old ones.  Give us more snow and fewer new laws!  

And by the way, the 200,000 employees that were sent home were deemed "nonessential."  Is it just me, or do you also wonder why we have 200,000 people working for us, who make much more than we do, that are "nonessential?"  

-  I've learned the "living wage lefties," like Hil(liar)y Clinton, aged Socialist Bernie Sanders and Little Mikey O'Malley, are just dying to boost the minimum wage to $15.00 an hour. Why? So they can attract the votes of the slackers who don't feel themselves responsible to gain the education and the experience to claw their way out of burger-flipping jobs and into the righteous middle class.  When, I ask rhetorically, did working at MickeyD's constitute the path to a full-time income for those beyond pimply-facedness?  When, I answer emphatically, we elected socialist Barry Obama.  Since that fateful day the real wages in America have gone down a full 4%, equaling about $5,000 per year for the average family, while the regulations imposed on our job creators have gone past the choking stage.  Min-wage is now about $8.00 an hour. Higher in commie lefty states, lower in smarter, less regulated ones.  

And why the campaign to rush headlong to $15/hour? Because the unions are losing membership at flank speed. And they give beau coup bucks to the Democrats.  And the Democrats get about 95% of the campaign donations from the unions.  So, if the unions can coerce the Dems to coerce the Gummint to coerce employers to boost wages, then the unions can step in and force these "newly-rich" employees to join up, and pay up!  Of course, once these dues are paid, and the taxes on their new windfall is paid, the bone-headed dufus min-wage workers will be right back where they started. But hey, the unions will be fat again, and that's how strong-arm union and go-along-to-get-along politics works.  

By the way, if $15 an hour of somebody else's money - which it is  - is good, why not $20?  Or $30?  Or $50?  As Britain's Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher once said, "The only thing wrong with socialism is that pretty soon you run out of other people's money."  I guess those who advocate such self-destructive policies need to learn sooner rather than later that they're completely full of crap.


-  I've learned that there are places on your body that can hurt that you didn't even know existed.  And places that will still manage to hurt despite whatever number of pain pills you choose to ingest.  And that the "hurt" can be ammeliorated a tad by the judicious use of a really nice Cabernet Sauvignon, or other juicy, tannic, red wine of your choice, which can serve to potentiate pain pills of all stripe.  That means a bit of the latter can magnify somewhat the actions of the former.  
Exercise care during your experimentation, my friends.  
You're welcome.  

-  I've learned that a young African-American woman named Lateatia Halloway intentionally drove her weapon of miss-destruction (get it?) through throngs of pedestrians on Las Vegas' sidewalks, killing one and seriously wounding more than 30 others.  Yes, my friends, this young "lady" was reported to have slowly driven her car down a busy Vegas boulevard, eyes peeled for clusters of people walking along peacefully, and then gunned her motor, jumped the curb and mowed them down.  And then she repeated this action three more times before being stopped and arrested. And yet, one Mr. B. Hussein Obama chooses not to call for the Justice Department to open a hate crime investigation, or increased background checks and tougher acquisition laws prior to the awarding of drivers' licenses or the purchase of automobiles. Think maybe his priorities are a bit misplaced?

-  I've learned that you cannot keep your doctor, you cannot keep your health insurance policy, and you will not receive a $2,500 rebate check from the Gummint every year, even though Barry promised you that you would, on camera, 43 times!  Basically, you're scheizer  (German for you-know-what) out of luck.  Surprised?

-  I've learned that Liberals really love Syrian refugees and want them to emigrate to our lovely Country.  Fine, say I.  But where, I ask, is that same milk of human kindness for the homeless military vets and those who are languishing in the waiting rooms of V.A. hospitals, (im)patiently hoping for an appointment, and dying because they just can't seem to get one?

-  I've learned that the very cheapest Halloween costume one can possibly buy is one of those 40 gallon black plastic bags. Simply cut two holes it for eyes and then pull it over your head.  Voila!  You're now a carbon-copy of a Muslim woman! 

That's all for now, kiddies.  Too much of this hard reality might rot your brain.  But sit tight.  More to come, and soon! After all, I've learned a lot, but I keep on learning!