Important Annoouncement

Did you hear?  Last Sunday Michael Sam, Missouri all-American Football player, and for-sure (maybe) NFL player-to-be, came out of the closet, wherever that famous closet is, and announced he's gay.


Almost immediately First Lady Michelle Obama tweeted to Mr. Sam.  She stated that she "couldn't be prouder" of him.  She praised his "courage."  She signed the tweet "Mo," which we're told is how she signs tweets she personally sends.


And then "Sheriff" Joe Biden tweeted as well, once again praising Mr. Sam's courage.  He was proud as well.  How nice.  He signed his tweet with "VP," which we're told is proof that he personally sent it.  


Now I don't know about you, but I wasn't aware that the White House paid such close attention to admissions of personal matters such as sexual predilections.  I guess they must have a staff of hundreds who pore through newspapers, and tweets, and emails, and texts, and Instagrams to find anything of interest so they can digitally applaud those actions they find courageous.  Well Mo, and VP, here's an announcement you will find interesting.  I await your tweet...


Okay world, I am a heterosexual!  There, I said it.  I'm courageous.  Let's see if Mo or the VP are proud.  Do they care?  Something tells me they won't.  Watch the news.  You'll learn immediately if their tweeter gets going... 

On Turning Seventy...

70.  70?  70! 



I just turned 70.  Yes, I know it's hard to fathom, but I did, in fact, turn the big SEVEN OOOOOOOH! 


How in the Hell did this happen?  I'm just a 25 year-old residing in an old man's body, who's spent the majority of his life having a good time, staying out late, drinking too much, shooting pool, playing poker, racing cars, running women, doing whatever seemed like a good thing to do at the time, and hoping to shove off the blame for whatever negative thing that may have happened to me or anyone else as a result of my actions onto whoever happened to be around at the time.


But now I'm here.  And I'm in a reflective mood.  I realize that I've passed over the top of the hill and am spending toward the bottom of the other side at an ever increasing rate.  And so, despite the fact that I've punched a hole in the bottom of the floorboard and am sticking my heels out the hole and digging them into the asphalt to slow down the inevitable, I thought it might prove enlightening to those who have not as yet achieved (achieved?) this lofty age to offer up some thoughts as to the impact of such an achievement. 



Sit down, pour a stiff drink and contemplate;


-  Turning 70 means I can't run as fast or jump as high as I once did.  Of course, who in Hell would want to?  Running?  Jumping?  For what?  If running and jumping seem appropriate at the moment, I'll hire it done.


-  Turning 70 means the hair in my ears grows much faster than that on top of my head.  That actually bothers my hair guy (barber? stylist?) much more than it does me.  Of course, my hair guy proudly claims to be my fifth daughter, but that's another story.


-  Turning 70 means I know everything I did when I was younger and thought I was smart, plus everything I've learned since growing older.  The sum of the two is enormous!  What to do with it now, children, is the question.


-  Turning 70 means I now know how couples can stay together for thirty or forty or fifty years.  First their eyesight goes, and then their hearing.  Don't thank me.  It's why God put me here.


-  Turning 70 means sleeping through the night is something no longer to be enjoyed.  That's because you've got to get up and pee somewhere around 3:00 a.m.  And then again about 5:00.  Enlarged prostates do that to you.


- Turning 70 means I suffer fools more poorly than I once did.  Don't come around me spouting useless crap and expect me to sit down and listen rapturously with an interested look on my face.  Won't happen.


-  Turning 70 means I can do exactly what I want to, when I want to, and nobody, nobody, can do anything about it.  What are they going to do?  Threaten me with jail?  Jail, where you three hots and a cot, and free health care better than Obamacare can possibly deliver, all the cable channels and probably the best gym that the ACLU could sue them into providing?    


- Turning 70 means I can't watch TV without the volume being at near max.  Of course, that angers my wife, but what else is new?  We have seven big screens in seven rooms.  She can pick any one she wants and take a hike.


-  Turning 70 means I now have come to realize that dumbass commie pinko liberal weenies, or Progressives, as they call themselves, have no sense of humor, whatsoever.  Anytime I make fun of them, or the Lib gods they pray to, they get all pissed off!  And I laugh out loud!  Great fun!  Keep it up, weenies!  The madder you get the more I'll write.  Accept it or bear the consequences.

-  Turning 70 means it can take about the same amount of time to get from the bedroom to the kitchen for a cuppa' coffee as it used to take me to shower, dress and go to the 7/11 for a six-pack.


-  Turning 70 means my favorite cocktail is a glass of really good Cabernet and a Vicodin.  Or two.  Or three.  Make that two Vicos. 


-  Turning 70 means rearranging the tools in my tool chest is getting closer to the top of my list of things to do.  It's not there yet, but it's getting closer.


-  Turning 70 means that I consider vacuuming to be exercise.  I used to consider exercise exercise.  Now I consider making coffee, calling my illegal alien gardener to mow the lawn, cleaning and polishing my guns, doing the laundry (yes, I do it), or scooping out the effluvia at the bottom of the fireplace as exercise.  What, you got a problem with that?


-  Turning 70 means washing my car is something for somebody else to do.  I really wish I could wash my car these days.  I can't.  I'm over it.  Now, I consider getting my car washed as my way of redistributing some of my minuscule wealth to my little brown cousins from South of The Border.


-  Turning 70 means finally getting my arms around the idea that our elected legislators can pass gobs of laws without ever reading them, run guns to drug lords south of El Frontera, waste most of a Trillion Dollars trying to make power using the sun and the wind while demonizing God's blessing of almost an inexhaustible supply of oil and gas, weaponize the IRS to punish their political enemies and get no scrutiny, none, from the so-called "Mainstream Media," which is a joke.  And a Blue State Governor can hire folks who cause a traffic jam on a bridge and it's the End Of The World!


-  Turning 70 means I used to think that Black People were considered by some to be second class citizens.  Now, with a Black President, a Black Attorney General, a Black NASA Director, a mostly Black cabinet, and a Black Oprah Friggin' Winfrey Billionairess, I'm wondering if maybe it's white people who have been relocated to the back of the bus.  Disagree?


-  Turning 70 means it's not okay to shoot somebody but it's quite okay to stab someone with a knife.  On the day of the Sandy Hook massacre, a crazed Chinese guy killed 21 people with a knife.  He was probably one of the 200,000 people locked up in factory making I-Phones and went completely bonkers.  But nobody said a word.  And in the past several weeks there have been two instances of knifing murders after football games.  Nobody said a word.  Why, I ask rhetorically, are there politicians clamoring for gun control, but nobody's clamoring for knife control?  Hmmmm.


-  Turning 70 means I can eat exactly what I want, any time I want.  Watch my diet?  Why?  Would it lengthen my life?  I'm already much older than I ever thought possible, so why not go straight to the French fries, burgers, pizza and anything fried and fattening?  Plus, a really big choco rocky road sundae.  I'm there.  The way I figure it, watching my diet might add a couple of years to my eerily shortening life.  That means I might be issued a silver-plated drool cup at the old age home while I waste away to nothingness.


-  And finally, turning 70 means I get the opportunity to write this posting, hoping it will cause some to chuckle, and some to fume and fuss.  And thank God for the chance to do so.  Thanks kiddies, now go back to what ever you were doing...

You Heard it Here First!

I feel responsible to my not-so-many (but rabid!) fans to keep them up to speed on what's happening politically, considering that many, if not most, of them don't have the time to do it for themselves (working is soooooo time consuming!).


That stated, I'm writing today to forecast what I believe is the absolutely dead-nuts probability of who will be the Republican candidate for President in 2016.  Ready?  Here goes...


Scott Walker, Governor of Wisconsin, will be the Republican candidate for President 2016.  Not Chris Christie, not Jeb Bush, not Bobby Jindl, not anybody else you may have heard about.  Scott Walker is the guy.  Why? 


He was elected to rein in the unions which have ruled Wisconsin with an iron fist for more than 100 years.  In fact, Milwaukee is where unionism first began.  And the unions were running that great state into the ground.  So Walker rammed through legislation to de-unionize the State.  He forced through legislation making dues payments to unions optional.  And when a worker, or anybody, for that matter, has the option not to pay for something he doesn't feel he needs, he doesn't pay.  And the union coffers are now bare. 


The union goons tried twice to recall him and failed both times.  Even though the state was more than $3 Billion in the hole when he took office, Wisconsin under his management is now nearly $1 Billion to the good.  And Walker just announced he will return most of it to the taxpayers this year.  And lower payroll taxes.  And then lower property taxes.  He's doing exactly what Barry should be doing on a national scale.  What a concept!  Giving back excess or unneeded tax money to the people who actually earned it.  What's not to like?  Nothing. 


So it's Walker.  If I'm wrong I'll eat a bug.  Oh wait, that's Cal Worthington's line.  Oh well, I'll find some way of expressing my contrition.  But if I'm right, and I usually am, you must buy me a drink the next you see me after November 7th, 2016.  Deal?


Ready for another prediction?  Okay, here's one.  The roiling disaster of Biblical proportions known as Obamacare will have so messed up our great Country that voters will return the Senate to Republican control and fatten the GOP majority in the House this November.  That will result in complete partisan gridlock in Washington, D.C.  Barry will be officially a lame duck, unable to pass any legislation at all.  Thankfully.  I mean, do we need anymore laws?  I don't think so.  Barry will be reduced to giving his Official Speech of the Day, which no one will watch, wearing out our airplane, playing golf and partying with Jayzee and Beyoncé.  Oh wait, that's what he's doing now!  Hmmm.   


Oh, and will Walker win the White House?  No way of knowing.  But my thinking is that, if Oblamo continues to screw America as he's done since taking office, the likelihood is great that he'll poison the well for all Democrat candidates to the max.  So, I'm guessing yes, Walker will win.  But who knows?  I think I do...

I have a question...

I have a question.  It's a serious, big-time, monumental, stop-the-presses question.  And it's a question that deserves an answer.  Okay, the tens of you who follow every word I write, here it is:


Why are libby weenies so in love with and so dedicated to the idea of aborting little babies when the odds are all those discarded fetuses will grow up to be Democrat voters?


Now I know that the libbies like to call it "Pro Choice."  I guess that means you should be able to choose whether to keep or cast off your baby.  But somehow they almost universally want you to choose the latter option.


And the other side calls it "Pro Life," believing that if you spread your legs you should bear (get it?) the consequences. 


That "other side" thinks that when a baby is conceived, and develops a heart beat, and begins to suck its thumb, and grow finger nails, and yawn, it becomes, you know, like human.  And killing humans isn't really a good idea.  Unless, of course, you're a dumbass.  And a jerk.  And kind of thumbing your nose at The Creator;  Or so thinks I.


It was just reported that the Hollywierd Elite is planning on throwing a really big bash to raise big money for pink tennis shoe-wearing Texas Senator Wendy Davis, the chick who filibustered the Texas Senate on behalf of post-twenty week abortions.  Even though she chose not to abort hers, she wants you to abort yours.  And even though she's played fast and loose with the facts in her resume, you aren't supposed to notice, because doing so is proof of the "War on Women."


She talked for 12 hours and ignited a libby firestorm of support among those who believe that you should be able to abort your baby up to and including the day before it begins pre-school.  And now, Ms. "Texas Barbie" Wendy, is running for Governor of that Great State.  And Hollywierd is raising money to help her.  Apparently Hollywierd isn't concerned about killing off their future theater goers.


Believe it or not, their fund-raiser will be hosted by one Ms. Sarah Silverman, a rather outrageous libby comedienne, and called "A Night Of A Thousand Vaginas."  You read that right.  So the very strange people in that L.A. suburb is raising some bucks to try and kill little Texas babies.  Strange.  And I would say, reprehensible.  I'm guessing they're guessing that none of those little Texans will be future theater goers.  


So here's the deal.  The vast majority of abortions occur to poor, undereducated, inner-city minorities (29.4% of abortions are performed on Black women;  Black women make up 15.6% of the population).  And the vast majority of inner-city residents vote Democrat.  We know that to be true.  And, as an example, the most Republican county in America, Kings County Texas, boasts that 3.2% of its residents voted for one Mr. B. H. Obama in 2012.  3.2%.  Yet, surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, 59 precincts Philadelphia recorded not one single vote for Mr. Romney in the same election.  Not one.  That, of course, is statistically impossible.  But it happened.  Or it was managed to happen.


So non-aborted fetuses wind up voting for dumbass libby weenies.  Why then, I ask, would this bunch of libbies, including our President, our Vice President, the Majority Leader of the Senate, the ex-Speaker of the House and literally dozens of big-time Democrats wish to have their future voters aborted?  Yes, children, why?


And so you're now deeply enmeshed in my existential question.  And now maybe you can help me answer it...

2014 Chuckmeister's Predictions

The tens of you who follow the Chuckmeister's annual predictions know that I usually post them in early December.  This year was different. 


I spent most of this year moving into "Fortress Chuckmeister," my new Southern  California digs.  After insuring my complete independence from local utilities, including the installation of a huge solar array capable of lighting a small city, I spent the end of 2013 using my trusty WW2 entrenching tool, which I purchased for a whopping $5.98 at the local Army and Navy store, digging a moat completely around my expansive acreage (expansive translates to nearly an acre!). 


Yes, my friends, everyone needs a moat cum drawbridge, filled with water and with crocodiles, of course (they haven't hatched yet!), to insure that the zombies will run into some serious resistance when they finally choose to attack.


Zombies attacking, you ask?  Yes, children, when the Chinese finally grow tired of feeding our nations' habit of spending much, much more than it takes in by buying our debt, we'll no longer be able to afford to send along those nifty SNAP cards, and welfare checks, and aid to families with dependent children, and all the other payments to those who refuse to work.  And then those who no longer find money in their mailboxes will turn into zombies and begin to look for it elsewhere. 


And that "elsewhere" will be in your house or mine.  Except mine will be a hardened target.  Turrets, parapets, guns, ammo, knives, crossbows, hot vats of oil ready to pour down upon interlopers' heads, etc.  All the right stuff to ward off the bad guys.  You've been warned.


Now that I've covered the "prepping," I'll get back to my no doubt eagerly-awaited predictions.  Sit down, grab a glass of good Temecula Zin and enjoy!


- Barack Hussein Obama will finally grow tired of dealing with all those Troglodytes in the House of Representatives, who disagree with him on most everything he attempts, and simply abolish that branch of Government. 


He's been illegally and unconstitutionally circumventing them for several years now, so, the thinking will go, what's the harm in simply eradicating them?   And, after sending all the Representatives home without dinner, he can tout all the new revenue flowing into the Treasury from renting out their offices to lobbyists! 


Remember lobbyists?  Those were the folks who the TelePrompTer-in-Chief promised would not have a presence in his administration.  But hey, everybody makes promises they can't keep, right?  Except in Oblamo's case.  Every promise he makes, he can't...or won't...keep.  So, renting out the offices is a good plan.  Reducing the Federal debt is a positive thing, right?


-  Miley Cyrus, sensing a diminution in media attention as 2014 wears on, will undergo a TET, or "Tongue Extension Treatment."  Then, when she performs, she can stick her tongue out 4 1/2  feet, enabling her to lick the dust off her shoes while she's twerking her skinny arse up against some poor schlub.


-  Al Gore and his sycophantic Global Warming followers, faced with new evidence that there is no Global Warming (DUH!, as this is written the temp in Chicago is colder than at the South Pole), will set fire to their Cadillac Escalades on the Capitol Mall in an effort to raise the Earth's temperature.  No one will attempt to extinguish the flames (the Mall workers are all unionized!), leading to extensive pollution from the burning of plastic, leather, oil and gas being dumped into the atmosphere. 


It will be reported that these certifiable lunatics will be dancing around the burning cars like a bunch of crazed Druids as the sun comes up.  The so-called "Mainstream Media" won't cover it.


-  Following the incessant bleatings from the Reverends-Without-Churches Al Sharpton and Jessuh Jackson, the newly-formed NAABP (National Association for the Advancement of Beige People), will agree by unanimous vote to declare that Black People are inherently superior.  There.  That ought to do it.  We shouldn't have any further discussion about this whole race issue.  Maybe then we can get on to something important.  Jackson and Sharpton, having nothing further to do, will simply fold their tents and fade away into blessed nothingness. 


-  In an national survey to be conducted in the fall, 83% of physicians in America will have stated that they have taken a second job in order to be able to pay their office expenses.  That will be due to the lowering of reimbursement rates afforded to physicians by Oblamocare.  And, it will be reported, Canadians no longer have a place to go for their health care.  They will be dying like flies before 2014 ends.  And what, I ask euphemistically, does Mr. Oblamo have against Canadians? 


-  Thanks to California's Governor, Jerry Brown, the only guy who will likely live his entire life without ever having had a real, honest, paying job, an illegal immigrant, one Sergio Garcia, was just granted the right to practice law in California.  And we know that illegals, for whatever illogical reason, can now be issued drivers' licenses in the once Golden State.  How precious.  You can't be here if you're an illegal, but if you are here, you can drive yourself to the courthouse, which should be incarcerating you, and argue a case before some commie judge.  Does that make sense to anybody?   


So, I'm predicting it won't be long before some enterprising reality show producer will set up shop about 20 yards inside the U.S. of A.  Then, once an illegal swims him or herself into our Country, they will be issued, on camera, a Green Card, perhaps the keys to a new Chevy, produced at  taxpayers' expense, of course, some food stamps, and perhaps a full-ride scholarship to one of the UC campuses. 


Oh, and the right to vote, so long as they vote, you know, like, Dumbocrat.  I'm guessing the new show will be called "Wetback Games."  A movie will then be made about the whole experience starring Jennifer Lawrence.


-  Having failed at passing increased gun control laws, I'm predicting that Barry will declare unilaterally that the entire United States of America is a "gun free zone."  Then, all shootings will end, because there can be no shootings if we're in a gun free zone, right?  It's working well at schools, shopping malls, Navy bases and Army forts, right?


-  Oblamocare, for the very first time, mandates that we Americans must buy a product from a third party or be fined into the Stone Age.  Hmmm.  What's next?  I'm thinking 2014 will bring mandates from Barry's Justice Department that we buy certain additional things from your Government and mine. 


As an example, I'm predicting that for a first step, Barry will nationalize Nutrisystems.  Then, he will force a bill through Congress mandating that we all buy their foods. 


Why Nutrisystems?  Because Ms. Moochelle Oblamo is hung up on weight, perhaps starting with her own.  People are complaining about the "back end" of Oblamocare.  I predict that Moochelle has taken this comment personally.


-  To finally, and thankfully, eliminate the charade, the Obama OFA (Organizing for America) organization, which morphed from the Obama OFA (Obama For America) campaign organization, will use the millions, nay billions, they have collected from commie weirdos since Barry was reelected, to buy MSNBC from Comcast.     


Those who don't know may be surprised to learn that the 227 people who watch this ridiculous channel for any period of time will learn that it is nothing more than the communications arm for the Democratic National Committee.   They have given up trying to compete with Fox News, or even CNN, on a pure news basis.  They have thus decided to simply spew leftist hate crap 24/7.  That way they can bang the Oblamo drum in an unending and unrelenting effort to convince Americans (and illegal immigrants who speak a little Anglaise) that the only way to vote is Dumbocrat.    


I'm not sure how much Barry's Boys will have to pay for MSNBC, but I'm sure it will be less than $800.  All the MSNBC anchors will then be accorded Cabinet status, of course.


-  I predict that Willie Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame will run for Congress from Louisiana in 2014.  He will decide that, even though he's rich, and famous, and cute, and a media star, he thinks his Country needs him.  And as such, he'll throw a few million into the campaign and run against some nobody from the swamp.  He will win, of course, which will put him on track to run for President in 2016.  His campaign theme for POTUS will likely be "Beards for Jesus."  Dumbocrats will cry fowl.  Fowl, get it?  Fowl?  I slay me.


-  Oblamo, having come to realize that he has no, I mean absolutely no, management experience, not even so much as having run a lemonade stand, will decide to appoint Mitt Romney as Chief Operating Officer of the U.S. of A. for $1 per year.  This will mean that Romney will be in charge of every single aspect of our Country's operation.  


Except, Barry will continue to be in charge of giving his daily Monumentally Important Speeches of the Day on his newly-created Oblamo TV network, and hosting parties with Jayzee and Beyoncé, and playing golf quite often.  This new arrangement will result in a resurgence in our economy, a lowering of the unemployment rate, a reduction in our taxes, surging collections into the Treasury, the repeal of Oblamocare and a smile on every single American's face.   And Barry will take credit for the whole thing, the  Dumbocrats will retain control of the Senate in 2014 and Nancy Pelosi will continue to be an idiot.


 -  And, Barry, since he doesn't have to run for any office anymore, and seeing no need to retain the pretense of being a proud American, will decide to take his annual End-of-Year Vacation in his home country of Manchuria.


Have a great 2014, kiddies.  The Chuckmeister will continue to be on the lookout for waste, fraud, abuse and anything that will cause a chuckle.  Chuckle.  Get it?

MAFUWSIW

To all you Chuckmeister fans out there, you may have noticed that there's been a dearth of postings of late.  That's because I've been moving into Fortress Chuckmeister over the past few months and it's been taking my time away from causing trouble.  But I'm back!  So, sit back, grab a glass of good Cab and ingest my most recent rant.  I hope I've hit your sweet spot...

I don't know about you, but I'm growing weary of hearing the increasingly ugly bleatings from the perpetually aggrieved  minorities among us. 

I don't mean minorities, per se.  I'm not talking about run-of-the-mill, everyday Blacks, Jews, Greeks, Casino-Owning (Woo Woo) Indians or Ice Road-trucking Eskimos.  No children, I'm talking about single-issue minorities who make it their mission in life to ruin ours. 

What I'm talking about is the ever-more-screechingly-vocal minorities like PETA, Gun-Controllers, Climate-Changers, Income-Redistributors and Waaaaay-Out-Of-The-Closet Gays.

There's probably not more than a few thousand hard-core animal-rights PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) folks wandering around out there.  But wear a coat made out of the skin of some poor beast that PETA loves (which would include any beast except an ex-husband) and they'll cover you with red paint.  Apparently, they identify more with sheep and lizards then they do with humans.  I guess that tells you all you need to know about this group. 

And there's probably not more than a few hundred thousand misguided souls (mostly located near either of the two oceans...funny how salt air seems to negatively influence the liberal weenies among us) who think that if we'd just outlaw guns there wouldn't be any guns, and hence, no gun crimes.  Take a look at the gun crime statistics in countries where guns have been effectively outlawed (The U.K., Russia, Venezuela, Australia, etc., etc.) and you'll discover the folly of that argument.  Gun control isn't about guns.  It's about control. 

And, don't lose sight of the fact that 100,000,000 Americans own more than 300,000,000 guns.  And that every year somewhere between 1.5 and 2.0 million times a legal gun-owner thwarts a felony by whipping out his heater.  why doesn't the Mainstream Media report that fact?  Hmmm.    

Just for kicks and giggles, take note of the fact that the number of guns in Americans' private hands has nearly doubled in the past twenty years.  And the number of gun-related crimes has dropped by nearly half during that period.  Double hmmmm.

And take note also of the fact that the number of concealed carry permits (CCW) in Florida has now exceeded one million, or just about 5% of the Sunshine State's population.  In fact, the number of permits has increased 30% in just the past year.  And the number of gun crimes in Florida has decreased...ready for it?...by fully 30% in that same period.  Triple hmmmmm. 

One might actually think that, as guns increase, gun crimes go down.  Quadruple hmmmmmmm.

By the by, the largest advocacy group in the country, claiming more than 5,000,000 members, is the National Rifle Association.  Talk about a minority! 

But the gun-haters, fueled by micromanaging nannies like billionaire, ex-NYC Mayor little Mikey Bloomberg, never, ever give up.  They keep whining and moaning and screaming, hoping against hope, that America will decide to one day  simply erase the 2nd Amendment and go straight from the 1st to the 3rd.  Dumb, yes.  But that's their plan. 

Remember, an armed society is a polite society.  That's why Mikey Bloomberg is protected constantly by armed guards.

And even though the temperature of the Earth has actually decreased during the past couple of decades, and the ice caps at both poles have increased in size, and that China and India keep on polluting 24/7, opening numerous coal-fired power plants weekly, as they do, the Climate Isn't Changing! 

But, led by useful idiots like Al Gore, and his sycophantic moron followers like Leo DiCaprio, who keep on buying electric cars, this dead-end issue isn't going away any time soon.  Take it from me, this little minority won't be dissuaded.  Too bad.

And we could tell the Arabs who hate us and want us dead to get Ducked if we would just pull out all the stops and drill and frack morning until night.  And, do so in every place where there might be even a drop of crude.  And that includes in Nancy Pelosi's back yard. 

It's now a well known fact that the U.S. has more identified, but as yet untapped shale oil resources then does the entire Middle East.  And along with Canada and Mexico, we could together be capable of providing for our own oil and gas needs for the Rest of Time.  Oh, and export a whole bunch to our friends as well. 

We could, that is, but the vocal tiny minority who hate oil will not be silenced.  The Sierra Club and the Oceans Foundation and Robert Redford and his ilk will not be dissuaded.  And they screw the rest of us who so far haven't beaten the crap out of them and sent them to bed without din-din.  Too bad, again.

And then there's the "Income Redistributors," or those who wish to have income equality regardless of whether they actually earned it or deserve it.  I had a conversation just last evening with a professor and PhD candidate in Geography and Climate Justice (whaaaat?). He stated unequivocally that Climate Change is real (!), that all the environmental scientists agree (!!), and that Polar Bears were drowning as we spoke (!!!).  I told him that Polar Bears could swim 60 miles looking for a stray seal, but he wasn't dissuaded. 

And, he said, that health care was a "right," despite the fact that it isn't, and that the "1%" should be raped, pillaged and plundered so as to take from them what they worked for and have garnered and give it to the legions who sit around all day long sucking down Pabst Blue Ribbon, paid for with SNAP cards, watching Jerry Springer reruns. 

Barry "The Insurance Salesman-in-Chief" Oblamo preaches incessantly about the fact we have income inequality.  HELLO!  We have had income inequality since well before Jesus.  Before Moses.  Before Noah, for God's sake!  We're going to have income inequality probably long  after Jesus returns. 

They had income equality in the Soviet Union, by the way.  Then, truck drivers made the same as physicians.  Truck drivers weren't happy.  Physicians weren't happy.  Everybody as equal.  Some were just a bit more equal than others.  How did that work out?   

But the group that most ruffles my duck feathers as of this writing are the militant, fascistic, flaming, effete, narcissistic gays.  Having successfully exited the "closet," wherever that is, they now want anyone who has anything even remotely negative to say about this widely accepted but once deviant, and according the Bible, sinful, lifestyle to be excoriated, pilloried and skinned alive.  To be shamed!  To be fired, or WORSE!  And that was on display writ large a few days ago when Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson's GQ interview hit the newsstands. 

Good Ol' Phil had some rather unkind things to say about gays.  And like a Fast Reaction Military Force, that reacts fast except in situations like Benghazi, the folks from GLAAD pounced!  They demanded, demanded, that AandE, the network that carries this, the Most Popular, Highest-Rated Show in the History of Television, immediately fire Phil.  And they did, by indefinitely suspending him.  Whatever that means. 

So the DD family immediately responded by informing AandE, and the world, that they just couldn't get their arms around the thought of continuing without daddy.  What we have here, children, is a good old Mexican Standoff.  The question is, just who are the Mexicans?

Gays could have simply issued a statement that they disagreed vehemently with Phil's position on their lifestyle, but that he had every right to embrace it.  Because that's the way we do things in America, and we're all Americans.  They could have done that, but didn't.  A big, big mistake, if you ask me.

They chose rather to yell, and scream, and kick, and fume!  And to make a Federal Case out of this!  And AandE bent over and grabbed their ankles (so to speak).  They are a bunch of pink-pantied weenies, without question. 

So, my friends, I believe it's finally time to eschew the gulp, swallow, and take it crowd, and turn our backs on political correctness.  I suggest that, if the gays want to lead every argument with their sexuality, rather than just living their private lives in private, we majority, God-fearing, gun-loving, chest-thumping, flag waving patriots do exactly the same.  I suggest we gather together, grab the pitchforks and torches, and storm the battlements!

GLAAD, the militant minority gays' acronym, stands for "Gays and Lesbians Against Defamation."  Okay.  We, the majority of Americans, need to come up with an acronym of our own and stop putting up with minorities imposing their beliefs upon us at every turn.  I suggest:  "MAFUWSIW," for, "Mainstream Americans Fed Up With Single-Issue Weenies."   

Then, whenever any of the whiny, tantrum-throwing minorities decide to open their pie holes and make some comment disparaging to normal faith and family values, we can cloud up and rain all over them. 

Imagine if millions, millions, of outraged Americans swarmed CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, PBS or any cable channel that chose to air something we, the vaaaast majority, find objectionable, just like GLAAD did to AandE, and voiced our collective outrage.  Let's find out...

*  Oh, I should add to the foregoing list of minorities shameless Race-Hustling Poverty Pimps like the Reverends-Without-Churches Jessuh Jackson and Al Sharpton.  They are beneath contempt and should be shunned by all self-respecting Black people everywhere.  They are a minority of two.  I suggest we go all "MAFUWSIW" on their asses.  What do you think?

Remember When?

Remember back, oh say, five or six years ago, when the only, only topic of discussion at work, around the water cooler, at the gym, in church, at the roller rink, or the bowling alley, at family gatherings or cocktail parties, was healthcare?  You know, who's got it, how to get it, when will it happen, and how about all those poor, poor people who don't have it?

And when folks weren't talking about healthcare, they were talking about getting illegal aliens legalized, or passing the farm bill and making sure that 47,000,000 people got free food stamps, and how to defund the military, and how to raise taxes on the evil, filthy rich, and how to close down all the coal mines, and when the will the world come to a fiery end due to global warming, and why profits are the invention of the devil, and how stupid is Chimpy McBushhitler? 

No?  Well hang on kiddies, while we dissect this really interesting situation to the edification of all.

Six or seven years ago, folks were talking about almost anything else beside healthcare.  They were talking about jobs, and retirement, and the stock market, and why their kid was the very best athlete, and where they were going on their next vacation.  NOT healthcare!  That's because America's healthcare system was the very best in the history of the Free World.  The VERY BEST!  Doubt me?  Ask yourself why the potentates of Arabia got on their Airbus A380s and trundled halfway around the world to come here for their healthcare needs?  And why the Canadians routinely skip across the border to obtain health care which isn't available to them up north because of their wonderful socialized medicine.  Medicine which we Americans are bound to enjoy in the very, very near future.

Yet, here comes Barack Hussein Obama, recent law school grad, he says, however none of his Haaaaved classmates can recall ever seeing him there, and recent addition to Chicago's population, and newly-hired community organizer (signer-up of people to register as Democrats so they could vote two or three or more times), and recent inventor of the "hope and change" mantra.  Oh, and in one of his multitudinous stump speeches, the need to bring about nationalized, single-payer healthcare to America. 

Now, it's known that socialists' deepest desire for generations has been to take control of America's healthcare.  They know that if they've got control over your health, they've got control over your finances and your life.  And it's also known that Dems have had plans to do just that in the lower right-hand drawer of their D.C. desks for decades.  So, when Barry gets elected on the basis of his load-of-crap "hope and change" thing, and the Dems take control of both houses of Congress, out comes the liberal wet dream plans, they are cobbled together into a 2,700 page behemoth, and so begins the speeches about how The One is going to "transform America." 

And a very big part of that transformation was nationalized healthcare.

"If you like your doctor, you can keep you doctor...period," he said.  "If you like your health insurance, you can keep your health insurance...period," he said.  And he made those flat and clear statements several times a day, month after month, during his tedious and tiring campaign.  Somewhere between 23 and 39 times it was captured on tape.  Imagine how many more times it was said during speeches and private gatherings and not memorialized on recordings for posterity.  And, he said, he would also lower your health insurance premiums by no less than $2,500 a year.  These promises tended not to sway many of the 85% of Americans who had health insurance through their employers.  Except for the liberal weenies, that is. 

But the 15% that had no insurance were intrigued.  Even though they were told by experienced folks like me, folks who had spent their entire working lives in the healthcare field, that this plan was not founded in fact, couldn't work, was a complete and total crock of shitake and would likely ruin forever the greatest and most effective health care delivery system the world has ever known, they were hiippmoootized by this smooth-talking charlatan in a shiny, empty suit.  And they voted for him.  And the plague of Obamacare was thus visited upon America. 

And we're just now beginning  to learn how screwed we all are.  Totally screwed.

The Democrats accuse the Republicans of shutting down the Gummint for 17 days.  That's because the Republicans wanted to defund, delay and defuse Obamacare.  Just one year's delay, they said.  Pretty reasonable, I would judge.  Barry and his brain-dead Congress-types wouldn't budge.  And now, as of October 1st, when the Obamacare exchanges opened for business, America is learning, to its profound dismay, exactly why the Republicans made such a monumental stink over this gigonda law. 

It's now more than a month later.  Somewhere between six and.......who knows?...... have signed up via this $600 million dollar website, put together by no less than 55 companies, all of which are managed by nice folks who gave millions to Barry and his reelection campaign.  55 companies.  Can you imagine the flustercluck when 55 different companies, working independently, try to spend boucoup bucks putting together more than 500,000 million lines of code to develop the very biggest website in the history of the universe!?  That's about 10 times more lines of code than Google, by the way.  500,000 million lines.  And while a handful have found new insurance via this portal, millions, millions more have been dropped by their carriers because their coverage pre-Obamacare didn't meet the new minimum standards. 

But not to worry!   They promise they will have this nifty new website up to speed not later than the end of November.  And then all the nice young folks who have no need for this putrid piece of crap insurance plan will be able to sign up and pay too much to get something they don't want (maternity coverage for sixty year old men?). 

But hey, the good news is that, if you have trouble navigating the tortuously slow website, you can always call in a Navigator.  That's one of them there folks who got as much as 20 hours of training in Oblamocare (that much?), and are laboring away for only $60k per year (that little?).  And, didn't have to pass a background check.  And could very well be a felon.  Sounds good to me.  Give all of your most personal information, including your Social Security Number, which we're all told never to give to anybody, to a registered, law-breaking, just out of the Gray Bar Hotel, certified, convicted criminal felon, so he or she can help you get some of that hot new inshorance.  Yeah...

Stay tuned.  This is going to get good...