Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Get Ready for Hillary Clinton's THIRD Trip to the White House...

What's that you say?  Third trip?  Hil(liar)y was Billy Jeff "Blue Dress" Clinton's wife when he won the Presidency back in 1992.  So that's one.  

And if she wins a couple of weeks from now, that'll be two. So what's this about her third trip?

Because, my friends, and you are my friends, when she and Billy Boy were preparing to leave the White House back in 2000, they had no place to go.  No home, nowhere. They hadn't owned a home in more than sixteen years. Supping at the public trough, were they.  So, they looked to their old friend and chief fundraiser Terry McCauliffe to help solve the problem.

McCauliffe (TM), as you might recall, is the rich dude and long-time Friend of Bill, and current Governor of Virginia, who helped raise the money he needed to win his first POTUS race.  So Billy Jeff turned to him for help at his time of need. TM agreed to buy a house for the Clinton's, with the understanding that they could pay him back with the money they were sure to raise from their books and speeches (I'm sure he couldn't even imagine the hundreds of millions of dollars they would ultimately raise!). How nice!  We could all use friends like that, couldn't we? Especially after we'd been caught in flagrante dilecto (look it up...it's not a good thing), while supposedly conducting our affairs of State, with his pants on.

So TM looked around and found a nice little pad in upstate New York.  Tony Westchester Country, doncha' know.  Now, New York was high on their list because Hil(liar)y had in mind to run for a soon-to-be vacant Senate seat.  So, carpetbaggers that they are, they wanted to pick out a house and move ASAP so that they wouldn't be accused of being exactly who they are; carpetbaggers.  So they arranged to move directly from the White House to a sprawling Chapaqua, NY, mansion.

Oh, and their new enormous mansion was White.

This would be White House trip Number Two.

And also of note, they were broke when they moved out of our Peoples' House.  That's because, you might recall, Billy Jeff had gotten his knob polished in the Oval Office by a young intern.  Not a good idea.  And then he lied about it. Another not-so-good idea. And he was impeached because of it.  A really, really bad idea, considering the only previous POTUS example was one President Andrew Johnson, some 150 years prior. A drunken, womanizing lout of a man with no redeeming virtues of any kind.  

Oh wait.  I repeat myself... 

Now as you may know, an impeachment of a President is a trial.  And those of you who weren't around back then, including Millennials who will be voting soon, should know that it was a really big deal.  Witnesses appeared both for the prosecution and for the defense.  And it was obvious to all concerned that Billy Jeff had been a very, very bad boy! And when the jury, i.e., the Senators, voted, it turned out he skated and retained his POTUS-hood by a single vote. But he was forever shamed by his indelicate activity.  

Well, actually he should have been ashamed, if he had any shame, that is...

And because of the notoriety surrounding the Lewinsky incident, several other women came forward to make allegations against Clinton with lewd stories of rape, harassment and abuse.  One such woman, a Paula Jones, sued Billy Jeff for unpantsing his overused genitalia and wagging it at her.  

There was a civil trial. He lied during that trial. Under oath. He lost.  She was awarded a judgment of $850,000. Billy Boy was fined $85,000 for having committed perjury.  He lost his license and the right to practice law for five years. Plus, he owed his lawyers more than $5,000,000 for defending him.

Hil(liar)y likes to tell us she was broke and in debt when she and Billy left the White House.  This is the debt about which she was speaking. 

You should also be aware that they could not afford this ostentatious $1.7 Million Dollar (Big Bucks at the time!) White House.  So TM loaned them $1.53 Million with the understanding he'd get his money back in five years, or whenever the property was refinanced. And then Billy Boy and Hillar(ity) did something that is soooooo Clintonian! And soooooooo predictable. And sooooooooooooo similar to what they are being accused of even today.

The Secret Service is sworn to protect ex-Presidents for life. So they of course needed a place to stay at the Clinton compound.  So the Clinton's built a tiny little one-room shack on the far corner of their 10-acre spread.  Which they then subsequently leased to the Secret Service for $10,000 a month!

And the mortgage payment on their new White House?  Wait for it...$10,000 per month!   A coincidence maybe.  I don't think so.  You decide.

So whether or not Hillar(ity) wins a third trip to the White House, she's been there, and on our dime, twice already. Gives me an upset stomach.  How about you?

Epilogue 1:  When the Clinton's left the White House they took more than $200,000 in furniture, artwork, china and other expensive little souvenirs.  When they were called on it by the White House Preservation Fund, they were forced to return the furniture and pay back more than $85,000 for the items they couldn't return because they had already sold them.  Fact.  Look it up.

Epilogue 2:  And not to be outdone...by themselves, they also bought a new mansion in Washington, D.C. upon her leaving the State Department as Secretary of State.  And that mansion needed a whole bunch of furniture.  And it was just reported by the State Department that they stole a whole bunch of furniture from the State Department.  A whole bunch of furniture which they were just forced to return. Fact. Look it up.

Epilogue 3:  And recall the reference to Governor Terry McCauliffe above?  It was just reported his SuperPAC gave almost $500,000 to Virginia State Senate candidate Dr. Jill McCabe.  His plan was for her to win and give him a majority advantage over over Republicans so he could ram his agenda roughshod over them.  She lost, but that isn't the real story.  Her husband, Andrew McCabe, was #3 at the FBI when he made the donation.  McCabe was soon promoted to #2, second only in leadership and authority to James Comey, the Director.  And he was leading the investigation into Hil(liar)y's illegal email scandal at the time the donation was made!  Fact.  Look it up.

Could you deduce from this tawdry little tale that the Clinton's are inveterate lying scheming cheating thieving and conniving criminals?  I've made up my mind.  You?  Go ahead, decide.  I'm waiting...

Friday, October 14, 2016

"Jimmy Fallon Speechless"

Have you seen the Internet ad that reads, "Jimmy Fallon Speechless?"  You know, the one with Lucy Liu's face smiling wide, inviting you to click on the pic and learn why Jimmy was left without words?

Or the one with an older Asian gent who's eyes magically go from puffy to perfect in seconds with only the addition of some "miracle" cream?

Or the one where Christie Brinkley and Dr. Oz open the metaphorical doors to eternal youth for you via some little bottle of something?

And all of them, ALL OF THEM, can be yours for an absolutely "free 14-day home trial" at the absurdly low cost of just $4.95 to cover "shipping and handling."  Sounds impossibly great, doesn't it?  It should, because it is.  A friend of mine just fell for this scam.  And friends, it is a scam! Here's how it works:

After you've been reeled in, the ad, usually on Facebook or as a paid-for ad on a website you visit, will require you to fill in your vital info, as in name, address, etc. before you get any more data. Then you'll be required to "tic" the little box indicating you've read and understand the rules governing this amazing offer.  And so you do, because everybody "tics" the little box without actually reading the rules and regulations.  Right? 


What happens next is murderous.  You give the ad your credit card number and click the "apply" button.  A couple of days later you get your "miracle" bottle of something or other in the mail.  You start using it.  You don't notice anything like the "magic" results that Lucy or Christie or the Asian gentleman experienced, but at least it only cost $4.95 to give it a try.  WRONG!  If you don't call the number, which is usually hard to find, or mail back the product so it arrives within the 14-day "trial" period, your credit card will be billed an OBSCENE amount!  

In the case of the Lucy Liu ad, you'll be dinged $129.95 for that little 2 oz. bottle of goop!  Others of these scam ads will charge $89.95 or even more!  And you'll automatically be sent another one each month until you call and cancel.  And it may be several months before you even realize you've been had!  And they won't take back the product after the 14 day trial period elapses!  You're basically screwed, and it's all your fault!

A friend of mine got had via this scam.  I offered to try and help.  I spent a painful 2 hours on the phone with some guy named "Steve."  He was with this company's "fraud department."  Strange, don't you think?  A little vitamin and supplement company with a "fraud department?"  Of course, if you're engaged in a fraud, you'd need a fraud department.

Anyway, Steve and I had a long shouting match.  He threatened my friend with felony fraud and mail tampering if he tried to get out of the deal.  I threatened him with conducting an Internet scam.  I told him I would call the police and the FBI and the CIA and the highway patrol.  I finally won this little tete-a-tete by simply informing him that my friend had notified his credit card company and instructed them not to honor the charges.  In fact, I advised my friend to cancel his card and ask for a new one. Good ol' Steve, recognizing that his little scam operation would have to follow through with all those threats if he wanted to try and get back the $347.89 he'd lifted off my friend, seemed to give up at this point.  He grudgingly signed off from the "fraud department," unhappy, but resigned to losing this battle with an unhappy "customer."

Here's a little advice:  

     1) Read the fine print, regardless of just how fine it is.

     2) Be on the lookout for scams any time you do business over the Internet.

     3) And finally, if it sounds too good to be true, it almost always is!

As for me, The Chuckmeister, I've decided I look just fine the way I am.  Because at these prices, I just can't afford to look any better...

Monday, October 3, 2016

Washed-Up Quarterbacks, Patriotism, Millenials and Conscription...

Unless you've been living in a dumpster behind the local Wal-Mart, you know that 2nd string, has-been quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who used to play for the Peoples' Republic of San Francisco 49ers football team, has decided that he no longer will show due respect for America's National Anthem or its flag.

Yes my friends, and you are my friends, Kaepernick was playing in top form when he emerged on the scene back in 2011.  He could throw tight spirals and he could scamper.  He was a double-threat.  And because of this he was given a multi-year, $120 Million Dollar contract.  

But then 2013 and 2014 happened.  No longer quite so good. Relegated to second string. 49ers hired new QB.  Kooperdick was no longer the fair-haired boy. Actually, being a mulatto, with a Black father and a White mom, he never was.  But maybe that fueled the furor in which we now find him...and us.  

Kopperprick was facing a trade.  He was going to be fired. And so, what was he to do to remain relevant?  To keep his face all over ESPN?  Relegated to collecting only $100,000 a month while warming the bench (!), it's my opinion he just couldn't abide the fate of no longer being important.  Of no longer being the go-to guy.  What was he to do?

How about giving America the finger? Yeah, that's it!  Dump on his Country!  The Country that gave him the chance to be a star. A filthy-rich star. Yeah, crap on his Country and its flag!  He could say that "his people" were being mistreated. Being treated unfairly!  Even though Blacks represent more than 70% of the players in the National Football League, and making $Millions, he thinks they're being mistreated. And until they are given better treatment, in his sole opinion, he would not show respect for his Country or its flag by standing, hand on his heart, when the National Anthem is being played.

To say that this caused a furor would be an understatement. the NFL's CEO, a guy named Roger Goodell, decided that Klopperdank's disrespect was quite alright. Goodell wouldn't approve the Dallas Cowboys players wearing patches honoring the five slain Dallas cops, but okayed Kramperdork dishonoring our Country and its flag. The fans didn't like that decision.  Especially when a few other Black athletes decided to stand with Kummpledrek.  Or, rather sit.  

One Ms. Megan Rapinoe, fiercely gay and damned proud of it, and star midfielder for the soccer team Seattle Reign, decided to join forces with Klipperdork and take a knee during the National Anthem.  To prevent her from doing so again, the owner of another team due to play the Reign, ordered the Anthem played before the players took to the field.  Upon learning of this, Mr. Megan was overheard to say, "Fu**ing outrageous! Nice.  Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

And Denver Bronco's star running back Brandon Marshall decided to join in as well. He decided to display his displeasure with earning several million dollars a year while being Black by refusing to respect his Country and its flag.  A couple of his sponsors responded by immediately pulling their sponsorships.  One, a credit union serving veterans exclusively, pulled out, costing him more than $5 Million a year.  I wonder if he expected that?  I wonder if he's proud of his decision now?

There have been others.  And it's still spreading.  But the theme is just the same. Filthy rich Black athletes have decided that they don't need to respect their Country or those who have died defending it. And there are legions of us fans who have decided that we don't need to support these athletes or the teams for which they play so long as they choose to act in such a disrespectful manner. Klapperdingle can exercise his right to free speech any way he wishes. 

And the fans and I can choose to withhold our dollars from further enriching him - and his team - in any way we can. And I, for one, choose to do exactly that.

Personally, I would suggest that Mr. Kleppledirt adopt that old adage: "Better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

But punishing those who disrespect America is, to me, not the point.  What, I ask, has happened to my Country?  What has happened to make our citizens choose to engage in such overtly dishonorable activities? Activities that draw negative media attention to them and to their teams and their sport? Activities that are undertaken with no apparent thought about what backlash might befall them?

I have a theory.  Bear with me while I set the table...

The Vietnam War, or rather "Police Action," as it was then called, ended in 1972. And the draft, or forcible conscription of citizens over the age of 18 into one of the military branches in the event of national need, ended soon after that.  That's 54 years ago. Long enough ago that 2/3rds of our citizens weren't alive back then.  Long enough ago that we as a society do not remember what it meant to have to purchase your freedom - and keep on purchasing it - by picking up arms and going off to war.  Long enough ago to not be required to honor our Country or its flag.  Long enough ago that we now consider it routine for less than 1% of our population to defend the other 99%.  And that's because our military forces are made up of volunteers. In effect, paid "mercenaries." In effect, professional soldiers who volunteer to serve, and in many cases, continue to serve as a chosen career.   

So back then, and before, all the way back to the Revolutionary War, we were all in it together.  Now?  Not so much.  We're well into the second generation of adults who no longer have to fear conscription.  Who no longer need to worry about writing a check to their fellow citizens in the amount of up to and including...their lives.  I did.  Did you? Probably not.  Krippledank, and Rapinoe, and Marshall? Absolutely not.  They feel they are due what it means to be an American without having to pay any price for that honor. For that privilege.  What a shame.

They don't seem to realize that they've already won the human lottery.  They've already been born into the 5% of the world's population that enjoys a level of freedom unknown around the globe.  A freedom that's been bought and paid for by legions of their forebears who laid down their lives in payment.  But they're too damn dumb to know how good they've got it.  And we all know that items for which we pay no price have to us exactly that same value: Zero.

When I was paying the price for our freedom, the guy to my left and to my right stood with me.  They had my back and I had theirs. They were not Black or White, nor any other color, creed or sexual proclivity, for that matter, but simply fellow soldiers. They came from rich families and from poor. They came from the north, and the south, and east and west. Some were smart, and some less so. They were a cross-section of our society.  And with so many being drafted, we had millions of ex-service members who could inculcate a sense of paid-for freedom into brothers and sisters and sons and daughters and uncles and aunts and friends and neighbors upon returning home.  

Today?  That sense of service is long gone.  Unlike the citizens of Holland and Israel and Switzerland, to name but a few, the US of A no longer conscripts its strapping youth to enter into the service of their country.  And the result?  An entitled society.  A society of people who worry about trigger warnings and "safe spaces" so their tender feelings won't get hurt.  A society of those who do not value their freedom because they paid no price to obtain it. A society of soft, wussified wimps who make old-timers like me want to puke.  

I believe that those by-gone days were better days.  You may disagree.  If so, that's okay with me.  That's some of the freedom I bought and paid for that you get to benefit from for free. But this is a warning.  When a society grows paunchy and soft, with those who no longer deserve the title "patriots," it may well die of atrophy.  And my fear is that we're well on our way toward that ignoble end.  

Please prove me wrong. The next time the National Anthem plays, stand up, put your hand over your heart and sing along.  The next time you're asked to stand and recite the Pledge of Allegiance, do so loudly and proudly.  And compel those to your left and right to do so as well.  And the next time some poor misguided fool disparages our great Country, loudly admonish them for their transgression.  And if any privileged dumbass like Colon Klimpledreck decides to shame himself and his family by refusing to honor his Country, show him how you feel by turning off the money spigot for him and his team.  It will be acts like those which just might keep us from wasting away into nothingness.

If you agree, pass this along to your friends.  Ask that they do the same.  We patriots need to overwhelm the wusses.  We need to shame them into either becoming good, solid 'Muricans, or to simply keeping their disrespectful actions to themselves...