Friday, July 29, 2011

Obama TV

NOTE: To all Chuckophiles, the following is a reprint from an earlier posting, brought back by (1) popular demand, and (2) absolute necessity.

I noticed something very strange last Thursday afternoon and 4:40 p.m. I turned on the TV and guess what? No Obama! He was nowhere to be found. Not on CBS or NBC or ABC or CNN or Fox. Not even on MSNBC, the marketing, sales and public relations department for Obama & Company, and the primary publicity subsidiary of the Democratic National Committee. Since I'm used to awakening each day to the soothing and dulcet tones of Mr. Obama as I crank on the Telly, and then seeing him give speech after speech after speech all day long, his very absence that fateful day was shocking! I was wondering if he was sick. Or maybe he was in some high level meeting planning to take yet over another segment of our rapidly-dwindling democratic society, robbing us of yet another freedom. Or figuring out which military program to gut. Or which union to give even more millions of our tax dollars. Or flying to yet another campaign stop in Air Force One (by the way, hasn't he worn out that airplane yet? Isn't it time for a new one?).

Think back. Remember when you could turn on the TV and not see the President of the United States? No, really. I mean he was nowhere to be found. And although it seems like eons ago, it was in actuality only a few short months back. Ahh, those were the good ol' days.

Now he's everywhere. From early in the morning until deep into the evening, he'll be delivering his Major Policy Speech of the Day, followed by a Town Hall meeting somewhere, and on to reading from his trusty TelePrompTer at a unionized plant that he single-handedly rescued from failure with tons of our money, and on to an address to a group of sycophant libs who slavishly lap up every word cascading from his highly polished mouth, and then on to another fund-raiser to amass even more millions with which to bash the Republicans. Or he'll be chatting with Letterman just before heading off to his umpteenth round of golf, or leaving for his fortieth vacation since assuming office, or scolding us for some real or imagined transgression or other, letting know it's really our fault for all the problems he faces. Is it me or is it All Obama All The Time?

So it hit me. Instead of all the networks having to cover the Energizer Messiah's every move and record his every word, why not have the Government simply take some more of our diminishing money supply and start the Obama Channel? Kind of like a reality show (but far less interesting), the cameras could follow him everywhere all day long. This would leave the other networks finally able to provide uninterrupted programming, sell their ad space and grow profits. Profits that he could then tax to the max. Just tune your DirecTV to channel 666. Of course, he could simply take over NBC, which is so in the tank for Obama they're selling His memorabilia in their Manhattan gift shop. And in the unlikely event that you finally have your fill of him, you could simply tune to any other channel without fear of having your airwaves and your attention span high jacked by the most overexposed public figure of our time.

Just a suggestion…

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Corporate Jets

Last week when our Redistributor-in-Chief gave his Major Policy Address of the Day, he mentioned six times that we had to do away with tax breaks for owners of corporate jets. Six times! He's spent us upside down more than One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Five Billion Dollars and he's worried about corporate jets? I got to thinking, what has this guy got against the folks who design corporate jets, and make them, and sell them, and service them, and work or around them, and maintain them and fly them. According to Federal statistics, the corporate aviation industry accounts for more than $150 Billion per year in gross revenues and equates to 100,000 American jobs. That's pretty serious territory, business-wise, so there must be something here I don't see that causes the Campaigner-in-Chief to want to hose them out of their goodies. Or is it just that good ol' Class Warfare so deeply ingrained in the Liberal Mindset. You know, in order to buy one of these expensive toys the purchaser MUST have stolen the money to do so from some poor person somewhere. Probably a Black farmer from Arkansas. Yeah, that's the ticket.

So I got to checking. Back in 2009 our Community Organizer-in-Chief came up with his Stimulus Package to right all the wrongs in America. $787 Billion it cost, but by the time the dust settled the actual price was nearly One Trillion Dollars! A piece of this little package was a series of tax breaks to get companies to make more corporate jets and advanced depreciation schedules to get more people to want to buy them. It's worth remembering that not one Republican in the House and only 3 RINO Republicans in the Senate voted for this bloated load of pork. So let's see now. Our Hopeychanger-in-Chief and his liberal weenies in both houses of Congress, which he controlled, dreamed up and passed tax breaks for corporate jet owners pretty much all by his lonesome, and is now railing against Republicans to try to browbeat them into eliminating them. Huh?

Consider if you will that the totality of the cost of the tax breaks in question equates to about $3 Billion Dollars a year. Contrasted against our current 2011 Federal budget shortfall of $1.65 Trillion, it would take more than 5,000 years to generate enough revenue from this piddling effort to equal our budget deficit for 2011 alone! Looking at it another way, screwing the corporate jet buyers would save a whopping 0.03% of this year's deficit. Can you say disingenuous? Do his liberal sycophants actually buy this load of crap? If they do, why do they? Are they truly that brain dead? Is anybody besides me paying attention to this stuff?

Friday, July 1, 2011

You're Just Too Damn Dumb

Let me start with the Bottom Line: You out there in the digital universe. Yes, you. You are too damn dumb to be permitted to make decisions for yourself. There. I said it. Yes, Mr./Mrs./Ms./Other America, the Commie Pinko Liberal Dumbass Weenies (CPLDW) believe to their very core that the American people cannot and should not be allowed to decide for themselves where, when, how and under what circumstances to live their own lives. You think I'm exaggerating? Please allow me to elaborate:

Although I'd dearly love to lay everything that's happening squarely at the feet of our newly-minted Redistributor-in-Chief, in truth, pols in both parties have colluded to erode our individual and collective civil and Constitutional rights for the past 70 years. But the efforts of the Democrats since they took charge of D.C. on January 20, 2007, under the direction of Speaker Nancy ("You have to pass the bill to find out what's in it") Pelosi and Majority Leader Harry ("This war is lost!") Reid, and more recently under the aegis of the New Chicago Administration and with the complicity of state governments such as the spectacularly lame and feckless one currently operating in Sacramento these days, our rights have been under an assault of unprecedented proportions (Whew! 86 words. Long sentence!). Let me count the ways:

Shelly Obama has decided that we eat too much and of the wrong things. According to her, we should cut back on the fats and calories and drop some Elll Beeezzz. Yes, she of supremely large, Kardashianesque derriere feels comfortable in telling us what to eat and what to feed our kids. But, she freely admits that she just cannot stop eating Freedom Fries. Weenie. Just do what you're told. You're too damn dumb to do any different.

Mikey Bloomberg, the billionaire ex-Republican, ex-intelligent Mayor of New York City, believes that you shouldn't eat salt. So, he simply banned it from New York's restaurants. Oh, and trans fats too. And let's not forget, despite the 2nd Amendment guarantees, he really, really doesn't want you to have guns. So much so that he sent two plainclothes N. Y. detectives on the clock to a gun show in Phoenix to try and buy some weaponry without background checks. In Phoenix! Hello! Phoenix isn't in New York, Mikey! Can you say nosey? Yep, go straight from the 1st to the 3rd, says Mikey. Right. Without Bloomberg you'd no doubt be gobbling handfuls of salt and swilling gallons of trans fats while working overtime to try and buy lots and lots of guns. Because you're too damn dumb not to.

BHO really, REALLY believes that five buck gas is quite okay. He's said so repeatedly. Check out YouTube and you'll find the video. He thinks that will cause us to feel all warm and fuzzy about "investing" in green energy so we can save the planet, presumably from Al Gore. You know what "investing" means, don't' you? That means taking tax dollars from those that produce and spending them by the bushel to try and jump-start the windmill/solar technology industry that has nearly bankrupted Spain. The Spanish say for every new "green" job created there during the last ten years, they've lost 4 and one-half regular jobs. Interesting. In the meantime, Barry has said you can't drill your way to energy independence, as if the rules of supply and demand economics have somehow been rendered ineffectual where oil and gas are concerned. Yet, he just decided to release somewhere between 30 and 60 million gallons of crude from the National Petroleum Reserve to help bring down prices, no doubt to help his fading reelection prospects. Can you say no clue? Can you say disingenuous? You don't understand all of this do you? That's because you're too damn dumb.

The Sacto boys passed a law last year making it a crime to feed a live hamster or mouse or rat to your pet python. You must now euthanize them so they feel no pain whilst your Boa gobbles them down. BTW, snakes don't want to eat dead critters. They prefer their meals to be kicking and screaming. And then they made it a crime to drive with your Teacup Chihuahua on your lap. All this while (mis)managing to spend $25 Billion each year for the past several they do not have. And now they want you to agree to allow them to extend temporary taxes for another five years to cover their shortfall. Right. And now, the good citizens of the People's Republic of San Francisco have outlawed Happy Meals and the purchase of any pet that flies, walks, crawls or swims. Yep, no dogs, cats, hamsters, snakes, birds, or even FISH! BTW, it's okay to buy a lobster to take home, boil up and eat, just not put it in a fish tank. Cruelty, don't you know. Tell me this all sounds very strange to you and I'll tell you're it's because you're just too damn dumb.

You love pickups and SUVs and really large, heavy cars. Ford has been selling more than 500,000 F150 pickups a year for more than 20 years. That's what you want and you should be able to buy it, right? Unfortunately, wrong! The TelePrompTer-in-Chief and the Boys don't want you to drive these vehicles, especially Fords, because Ford refused to take TARP money. They want you to buy little overpriced hybrid and electric weenie cars. So much so they'll give you some of your neighbor's money as a bribe to get you to buy one (invest?). Does that make sense? If you don't think so it's because you're too damn dumb.

In the final analysis, CPLDWs just want to be left alone to live your life, because you're just too damn dumb to handle the task for yourself. You need to be told what to eat, what to wear, what to drive, where to educate your kids and even whether or not you can own a pet. And don't you dare try to stop them! They get really nasty when confronted with common sense…